AN: Okay, another story born of a class. We had to write a max 500 word diary entry for Pride and Prejudice and I actually sorta liked it so I decided to post it as a side project. If I find time, I'll post random diary entries and probably take requests for events. Don't know how well I captured Austen's writing, but I'd love to hear if I did it well or if you have suggestions. Enjoy!
I own nothing, again.
Dear Diary,
Such disquiet of one's heart could not be advantageous to one's health and I am beholden to my dearest father for his earnest attempts to placate his frantic daughter. So anxious was I over offending him, disappointing him as his daughter for marrying Mr. Darcy that I failed to realize his honest concern for a creature such as me. True, of all my sisters, I understood I was held the highest in his favors, yet, for all my years of perception and discernment of those around me, lately I have wronged those closest to me and those who may bring me the utmost happiness. Such was my opinion before addressing my father in his study tonight. Not only had I misjudged Mr. Darcy, my first oversight, but I had failed to notice my fallacy regarding my own father. So preoccupied was I in my embarrassment of my error regarding Mr. Darcy, I overlooked the conclusions Father would draw upon receiving the news of my engagement, conclusions far worse than the actual matter. It is really quite obvious how such thoughts could form, considering the scandal of Lydia's almost elopement. Yet, to allow the man I respect as the patriarch of the current Bennet estate to assume that I would marry not for love, but to become so desperate as to marry for fortune and status, I might as well have accepted Mr. Collin's proposal and saved us the time and worry. How shaming, for my dearest father to hold his favored daughter in such light. I hold myself responsible.
However, he heard my pleas and my reasons, my argument over my former prejudice and Mr. Darcy's newfound humility, and he approved. He consented, not just to our arrangement, but to try to understand the man I see. I must apologize to my father, not only for putting him in such a predicament, but for underestimating his concern for my happiness. After all, he has lead such a life, a life of ridiculing his chosen partner, a life, he has expressed, he wishes not to befall me. Years of living with a simple, materialistic woman he disregards has brought him no happiness, and I pity not only my father, but also my mother. Each has not found the love that I have, the one who will bring joy into my life, but they have gained the familiarity that Charlotte and Mr. Collins might hope to achieve, an arrangement for common interests. I must confess that I envy them not one bit. My future with Mr. Darcy, residing at Pemberley, looks bright and much more agreeable than I had ever imagined.