I wish there was more of this ship, I really do...I feel like there are only, like, three people in the entire world who seem to find these guys as obviously canon as PhantomsDaughter13 and I do, but she's on a Gundam 00 kick right now so I'm left to be lame on my own.
Sigh. C'est la vie, eh?
Anyway, please enjoy, you lovely readers, you!

Disclaimer TO THE EXTREME: Obviously I don't own Katekyo Hitman Reborn!, or there would be no female characters at all ever (and especially none of the stupid Shimon Middle School variety - seriously, how transparent is that ridiculous boob job on stupid Suzuki Adelheid?). So THERE.

If they'd been in on it together, it wouldn't have hurt as much as it did.

He felt his breath leave him, his eyes widen, as though a physical blow had been landed through the video transmitter. His stomach twisted itself into knots as he stared sightlessly ahead – he fought the urge to sink to the ground and hold his aching stomach and curl up into a ball and wonder if he was being hypocritical.

But if they'd been in on it together…after everything, after all they'd seen and done and shared…

One of the Cervello quietly asked if he was okay, her voice monotonous and emotionless, and he was vaguely aware of his response (the steady nod, the unwavering nod, authority needs to be shown at all times as Byakuran is always watching or never watching but he would never know so he had to keep up an image, which he'd practiced for years because after all he wasn't second in command for nothing), as he suddenly realized just how sick of the two of them he had really become. His grip tightened on the steering mechanism, and he stared straight ahead at the smoking ruins of the machine, the godforsaken Strau Mosca or King Mosca or whatever the hell it had been when it was destroyed, and willed his stomach to please behave.

It didn't work, because if they'd only been in on it together…but they hadn't.

They hadn't been in on it together. This was Spanner's own…his own decision, and he'd not known…he thought…he thought that Shouichi was…

He wasn't, but Spanner hadn't known and he'd betrayed him in the pursuit of science and research and puzzles and wide innocent eyes and hidden power that couldn't yet be controlled and the excitement of seeing his work serve a greater purpose, exactly the purpose it was invented for.

And this…this hurt more than he thought it might (which, of course, he hadn't, because Spanner was Spanner and Shouichi was Shouichi and both of them had believed they'd found someone after their own hearts, the same interests and education and likes and dislikes and even though they looked rather dissimilar, they were meant).

He couldn't cry. He wouldn't cry. Crying would destroy in seconds everything he had carefully been constructing for years. No tears, no, hold them back, keep them in, blink three times and no one will even see them…

Part of him, the more rational part, thought that it didn't matter. They were, after all, ultimately on the same side. Both against Byakuran, and everything he stood for and was aiming for and had done in other worlds…

But Spanner didn't know they were on the same side. Spanner went against him, deliberately betrayed him, after everything they'd been through and seen and done and…

Shouichi grit his teeth, blinked a few times, firmly told (lied to) himself that it didn't matter, and concentrated on being convincing.

(You can lie all you want to everyone else, live as many lies as you want in public and manage to uphold your image as long as it's necessary, but you cannot lie to yourself, and this is what makes his stomach twist. He'd tried to lie to himself before, of course, and it hadn't worked then and it wouldn't work now, no matter how many mantras he repeated or facts he twisted or feelings he ignored.)

Betrayal tasted like blood and felt like the end of the world.

A/N: WHOAMAJORANGSTINGWHAT?! Yes, I know, I don't usually end up writing things as angsty as this, but...I'm in a particularly angsty mood at the moment. I'm so angsty, my own mother confused me with Harry Potter.
WHUT. :D

Reviews? Please? Say anything, anything at all, and I'll review one of yours in return.
...ANYTHING. PLEASE - I FORGOT TO GO TO THE GROCERY STORE THIS WEEK AND I'VE RESORTED TO LIVING OFF OF MY REVIEWS. PLEASE KEEP ME FROM STARVING TO DEATH. FEED ME WITH YOUR WORDS.