A Tale of Two Brothers
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, just playing with them and then putting them back where I found them.
Spoiler Alerts: There are references to many episodes in the story, most notably Xena's Intimate Strangers and Ten Little Warlords. If I think of any other episodes that may have been necessary to know about, I will update this spoiler alert or post it at the beginning of that chapter. If you haven't seen them, you can get an episode synopsis at /epguide/epguide.html .
There was a thunderous bang that echoed in the main hall of the god of war's temple. The two brothers came to a sudden break in their fighting, looking for the source of the noise. They didn't have to look long as a golden flash hailed the arrival of the king of the gods.
"Enough!" exclaimed Zeus. "You two boys are going to stop this nonsense. I can't keep butting in on your brawls. What will it take to make you learn?"
The two sons of Zeus stood there dumbstruck. Ares and Hercules looked from each other to their father. Neither of them said a thing. After a moment of silence, Ares composed himself and addressed their father. "And why, may I ask, did you choose to grace us with your presence? Jerkules and I were almost done working out an issue…"
"Yes, I saw your 'efforts.' Why is it that you two could never find common ground?" asked an exasperated Zeus. "I can not let one of my sons perish because of the pride of another."
"Pride? You think this is over pride?," Hercules glared angrily at his father. "This is NOT about pride. This is about a manipulative, sadistic…"
"Yea, yea.. no need to flatter me, brother dear," Ares said with a sneer, and smugly cut him off. "So what's your point, dad? You worried that I was finally going to off your favorite?"
Zeus just stood watching his sons with a wary look on his face. As he looked back in forth between them, an idea struck him like a bolt of lightning. A grin grew on his face slowly, menacingly. His sons did not like it one bit. "A lesson…. Yes, a lesson." He smiled at his own brilliance. He held his and out into the air and a small orb began to form in his palm. He closed his eyes and the orb began to grow larger. It was glowing bright yellow and orange. Hercules and Ares looked at each other and began to back away from each other, Zeus and the orb. Zeus had a look of stern concentration on his face. He opened his eyes to reveal his own eyes now matched the color now of the ever growing globe. His whole body seemed to be becoming enveloped in the yellow orange glow. Ares and Hercules began to run for the nearest exit, but it was too late. Zeus let out a yell as the power surged through him. Ares and Hercules found themselves unable to run, they were being pulled back into the orb. With a final surge from Zeus, it picked the god and demi-god and sent them hurtling backwards to the orb. They crashed into it and each other and fell to the ground in an unceremonious lump.
"NO!" came a cry from the temple entrance. "Hercules!"
Zeus looked up to see Hercules's best friend Iolaus running in. "What have you done?" cried the golden hunter. He ran to the slumped over body of his friend.
"They had to be taught a lesson. This is not appropriate behavior for two men of their status," said Zeus in a matter of fact manner. Hercules began to stir as Iolaus tried to help prop him up.
"Get off of me.." warned a very hazy and disgruntled demi-god. "Eck, blondie. don't touch me." He forced himself up off the ground without any further help from Iolaus. "Gods, my head is spinning…" As he stood he saw the still slumped over body of the god of war. His eyes grew wide as he the most recent events came back to his memory. 'No, no, no… surely not…' he ran to the nearest shield hanging up on the wall. He looked at the reflection, his heart pounding in his chest. "Jerkules? NO! Zeus!" He turned to address his father to watch him disappear in a flash of gold with the body of Ares. "Oh you have got to be kidding me."
"Herc, what's going on here?" Iolaus asked, the confusion easily discernable on his face.
"I am NOT Jerkules." He glowered at the sidekick.
"What?" Iolaus looked shocked. "But.. wait.. what? If you're not, who are you?" He paused and his eyes got wide with worry. "The Sovereign! I won't let you get away with this!" Iolaus assumed a fighting stance.
"What?" It was now Ares turn to look confused. "What about any of this makes you think I'm the Sovereign." He looked at Iolaus's fighting stance. "And oh come on.. really? Do you think you can take me on without your little buddy?" Ares rolled his eyes, and then a more serious look took over. He looked up at the ceiling of his temple. "Think this is so funny, don't you, old man! GIVE ME BACK MY BODY AND MY GODHOOD!" There was no response, but Ares knew the message was heard. 'Damn the old man, damn Hercules, and just well, damn. Well now what?' His brain struggled to comprehend all that had just happened. 'Come on Ares, what's next?' A smile crossed his face as a plan came to him. He moved to step around Iolaus and head out his temple door to start on his journey. Iolaus jumped in his way, blocking his exit. "MOVE," he said with a dark growl.
"What and let you go out and tarnish the name of my best friend? Not in this lifetime, pal." Iolaus stood firm in front of him.
"Get out of my way, or my leaving this temple won't be IN your lifetime."
Iolaus shuddered under the threat of the former war god. It was a strange phenomenon, seeing your worst enemy in the body of your best friend. For all of Hercules's features, his eyes and demeanor were all Ares.
Ares pushed past Iolaus and strode angrily out the door. 'Hm… let's see. We're in..' He looked around the outside of his temple. 'Er… Laoss?' He saw a familiar statue in the courtyard and smiled. 'Yes. Laoss. Now, Athens, that's about a day's walk..' His thoughts were interrupted by the golden hunter.
"What are you doing?" Iolaus followed him outside. He could have swore that Ares was planning on going somewhere. He inwardly scoffed at the idea. 'Ares try and rough it as a moral. HA!' The body of his best friend turned to face him.
"I'm going somewhere. Do NOT follow me." Ares tried to give Iolaus his most menacing look, though he was sure the effect was lost given his current condition.
"Woah. So maybe I can't hold you hostage in your temple, but you are not going anywhere unsupervised. People need to be told you are a danger." Iolaus tried to look firm in his decision to follow the dangerous former god.
Ares sneered at him. "Whatever." With that, he turned and walked out of the village and headed to Athens.
Iolaus gave him a dirty look of his own then took off after him, trying to catch up.
Hercules opened his eyes. His hand immediately sought out his head to stop the spinning sensation. "Ugh. I feel like I got kicked in the head by a centaur." He tried to rite himself from his horizontal position. "Huh?" He looked around. He was lying on a couch—a black leather couch. He looked around the room he was in. It was a large palatial suite with a large four-post bed, draped in black silk. The couch he was on was by a large fireplace containing a cheery little fire. He could see from his seat a large window covered in thick black curtains. When he felt like his head wasn't spinning as much, he stood up and walked to the window. Pushing aside the curtains he found himself over looking a fort, located somewhere high up in the mountains. "Where am I? What's going on?" He asked himself.
"Oh good! You're finally awake!" The bubbly voice startled Hercules as he looked over to see his sister shrouded in a residual burst of pink.
"Dite? What is going on? Where am I?" Hercules tried to remember what had happened last to him.
"You're in Ares fort near mount aetna." She smiled warmly and walked forward to hug him. "Oh bro, I'm so glad you're awake. You were totally worrying me there! I mean, you'd been out for like 3 hours! Just laying there.."
"Ok, I get it Dite, but how'd I get this way? What am I doing at Ares's temple?" Hercules put his hands on his sister's shoulders trying to make eye contact and get her to focus.
"Er, well.. that's complicated. You see, dad decided that you and Ar needed to have a lesson," as she said it her sweet smiles faded to a wince. "And, like, because you two don't understand each other, he thought it would be a good deal for you to walk a mile in each other's boots so to speak."
"What do you mean 'So to speak?'" asked Hercules, trying to get the point out of his ditzy sister.
"Well, I mean, he didn't just mean boots. See for yourself." Aphrodite held out her hand and a mirror appeared in it, for Hercules to take.
Hercules took the mirror tentatively from the love goddess. Judging from the wince still apparent on her face, he wasn't going to like what he saw. He looked down into the mirror. He face lost color. His head began to spin again. "ZEUS!"
"I know, right? Yea, you can yell all you want, but he said he won't talk to you until you calm down. So, yea, pretty gnarly, huh?" Aphrodite shook her head. "Oh well, until he decides to reverse it or you find a loop hole, you have to just deal."
"Deal with it? Are you out of your mind! I'm stuck in Ares's body and for all I know he is gallivanting around Greece ruining everything I fought to protect under MY NAME!" Hercules was seething with anger.
"Woah. Don't even take that attitude with me. I do not have to be here trying to help you wise up and get this thing over and done with, but I am. So yea, when you are done with this 'tude you just let me know." Aphrodite crossed her arms across her chest and was about to step back into the aether when Hercules's apology stopped her.
"I'm sorry. I know… look, I know it's not your fault, and thank you for coming here. I know you don't have to and right now, I know I need all the help I can get. " The new god of war gave his sister a sorrowful look. Aphrodite smiled sincerely.
"Oh, Herc! I can't stay mad at you. Well, now that you are war, it's time to explore your domain." As Aphrodite grabbed his hand, Hercules spared one last glance at the mirror still in his hand before she pulled him into the aether with her. He could have swore his reflection was glaring at him.