A/N: Okay, so I know that I haven't been very consistant with my last story, but I'm actually working on a novel right now, so I'm sorry. I have decided that doing a short Twilight story would be a little fun, so here goes. Now, I don't want to offend anyone, because I don't own Twilight or any of it's characters. If you don't want to read about people making fun of Twilight at all, then don't read. I love Twilight and just because I'm writing a funny short story about it doesn't mean that I'm not a fan of Stephenie Meyer, I have read the Twilight series and The Host, and I must say, they were all wonderful! Now let's get on with the story!

JASPER'S STRANGE EPISODE

BPOV

I was sitting in Edward's room waiting for him to come home from hunting. He and Emmett had gone on another trip before Alice was going to show us her 'Wedding Designs', she was being very professional about it. She had a whole schedule planned out just for our wedding. Personally, I wouldn't have minded if we sat in my living room while Charlie was at work and planned it out there, but when I would mention that to Alice she would get upset and remind me that she had no human memories at all, that this was as close as she could get, and I would cave.

All of a sudden, a noise came from Alice and Jasper's room. Normally I wouldn't have checked it out because, honestly, I'm a little afraid of walking in there, but when I looked down the hallway I noticed that their bedroom door was open. Naturally, I went to check it out.

I started down the hallway a little cautious. When I got all the way to the end, I paused at their door to listen and see if it was safe to enter. And I heard something strange, "Hello banana! You're such a cute banana, I think I'll name you Fred. Fred the banana! Say hello to Alice, Fred!" it was Jasper, what was going on?

I peered around the corner to see what was wrong with him, he was sitting on the floor with a banana and Alice, well, she looked a little annoyed. He was holding the banana in his hand and was playing peek-a-boo with it. What the... I thought to myself while suppressing a laugh.

"How are you Mr. Fred? I'm very fine thank you. You are? You are! Oh, that's wonderful! How exciting! I hope I get to see it! Oh, how nice." and he kept cooing at it like he was mental.

Alice looked up at me standing in the doorway, Jasper didn't seem to notice as she stood up. She walked over to me and motioned for me to back out of the room, I did and she followed me, shutting the door behind us.

I looked up at her, bewildered. Jasper had gone insane! Why would he act like this? And with a banana! He named the thing, if that weren't bad enough. And now he was hearing voices inside his head and he was having conversations with it? I felt bad for Alice.

"Hello Bella." Alice greeted me rigidly.

"Uh, hey Alice." I answered.

She stood there for a second, twiddling her fingers, "Bella, could you not tell anyone about this? Jasper seems to have an imaginary friend from when he was young, you know, a human, and he doesn't seem to want to let go of it." she frowned even as she said it.

"Sure Alice, does anyone else know about this?" I asked, a little embarassed.

"No, well I'm sure Edward does but he must be too mortified to mention it to anyone, and Carlisle and Esme do, but that's it." she admitted.

I looked down at my feet, struggling very hard to suppress my laughter, but a giggle escaped. My hands shot to cover my mouth and I looked up at Alice to see how she would react. I was relieved to see that she was smiling at me.

"Look Bella, I know it's weird but I don't think there will be anymore of this, I'm going to lay down the law. Vampires don't play with inanimate objects!" she exclaimed, "Oh, is he going to get a mouthful."

I looked her in the eye and saw that she wasn't too upset, "Look Alice, if you need anything, anything at all. You know where to find me for support." I joked.

She looked up at me and saw that I wasn't being serious, we both burst out laughing. Just then, Jasper walked out of the room and shut the door behind him. He straightened his tie and nodded at each of us, "Bella, Alice." he said, and he went downstairs.

I watched him go and went into hysterics, Alice picked me up and took me to Edward's room. "It's okay Bella, just calm down." she soothed, which made me laugh so much harder.

"Stop . . . trying . . . laugh . . . not . . . funny." but I couldn't help it.

Alice stood up and walked to the door, "I know how this must feel to you, but I can assure you, you will be fine. This is not your fault." and she grinned and shut the door behind her with a click.

A few moments later Jasper entered the room and a calm feeling washed over me, he looked embarassed. Alice had obviously filled him in about what happened and now he was embarassed. Now I really didn't want to calm down, his expression made it so much more hilarious. But, Jasper being himself, calmed me down and made me sleepy and before I knew it, I was woken up by Edward.

"Hello, my love." he smiled my favorite crooked smile.

"Hey, Edward." I smiled back, though not anywhere near as wonderfully, no one could smile quite like Edward.

He pulled me up into his lap and looked at me, "You've had quite a day, Alice was thinking about it when I walked in." he had an amused expression on his face.

"It was so weird Edward, Jasper, he had a banana! And I -," I started laughing uncontrollably again.

Edward leaned down so our faces were level and kissed me, when he pulled away I was in a daze. "What was that for?"

"For being so mouthwateringly beautiful, you are most beautiful when you are laughing or crying." he answered happily.

"You've never mentioned that one." I answered.

And as I was pulled into another embrace, I could hear Emmett downstairs, "FRED! FRED YOU'RE HOME!"

I looked into Edward's eyes, they were laughing along with Emmett downstairs, "Don't tell me you told him!" I gasped.

"Listen Bella, nothing will get Jasper to stop with this nonsense more than being humiliated in front of everyone, or Emmett knowing about it. Trust me, I did him and Alice a favor."

"I know Edward, but Jasper is going to die when he finds out that Emmett knows."

Edwards whole body started to shake, "Oh Bella, I'm pretty sure he already knows."

And no sooner had he said it, Alice stormed into the room. "Which one?" she hissed.

Edward turned me out to face her and said, "I have a very fragile object, so think before you kill me."

He couldn't see the expression on her face, it was menacing. I cowered and shrank in his grasp. Alice looked from me to Edward, and back again.

"Put her down."

He looked her in the eye, I could tell he was reading her thoughts, making sure she wasn't going to kill him, "Let me take her downstairs, then we can settle this." he replied.

"You don't want to do that, Jasper and Emmett are having a go at each other downstairs." she answered through her teeth.

He looked down at me and back up at her face, "Then let me put her down here and we'll take this outside."

She looked at him, "Fine."

Edward kissed my forehead and set me on the empty space of couch next to him.

He ran to the window, yanked it open, and jumped out. I saw Alice roll her eyes before she followed him out. I hoped that they were laughing out there, like I was in here.

I sighed and waited it out, this would be a long day.

A/N: I know that this chapter sucked, but I don't have the heart to take it out of the story. I know that it still sucks, even after I edited it. But it seems that a few of you guys enjoy this chapter, plus it's important for the next one: 45 ways to annoy Edward Cullen. Well, not really but I'm too lazy to edit a line out of that one too. XD - RxR because you know how much it means to me! Plus it's an incentive for me to finish the story!