Pairing: Naley

Rating: Teens (For Language)

Summary: Nathan and Hayley reflect on their relationship after the school shooting.

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[The song is 'Hold you in my arms' by Roy LaMontagne

When you came to me in, with your bad dreams and your fears
it was easy to see you had been crying.

This is by far the worst day of my life. Worse than the day I found out my mom was popping prescription pills and worse than the day my life left me to go on tour. Today was the worst, because I came so close to losing her, and not just to another state, forever.

When that kid, Edwards, pointed the gun at her, I felt my heart stop. I can't live without her again, and I won't. If Hayley is gone, then I'll go back to being who I was before, and I don't ever want that to happen. I need her, more than I could ever tell her or have her understand. It was like a hurricane was coming and we were caught in a crossfire, unable to move.

Seems like everywhere you turn catastrophe reigns
who really profits from the dying?

It was like the world was ending before my eyes and I could do nothing to stop it. I'm tutoring Marcus and the next thing I know gunshots are going off. I duck behind the desk along with Skillz, who was actually really smart contrary to popular belief, while Marcus closed the door after the people who had run in. I looked around the room, there was just a few of us in there and I recognized most of them. A girl with brown hair that I vaguely remembered from middle school, Jimmy Edwards who used to be really good friends with Lucas, Rachel and some other people that I should have recognized but didn't. Maybe that was our mistake. That we never got to know the people we went to school with for the past 4 years.

I could hold you in my arms.

I could hold you forever.

I was ecstatic at first. We had just gotten back from a 2 night away game and I missed Hayley. Even though we weren't living together and acting like a married couple at the time, I still loved her as much as I had before she left. I was having a really good day actually. We had just won and I was about to see the woman I loved. But when I stepped off the bus I wasn't greeted with a bubbly Hayley, but with a blubbering Brooke who had thrown herself at Lucas. Besides the cries that were emitting from Brooke, everyone else was screaming around us. I heard parts of conversations from people running past us.

"….gun….school…someone got shot…"

That was all I needed to hear. I could hear Whitey and Luke yelling at me to stop and to get back on the bus with everyone else, but I couldn't, and I wouldn't. Not while Hayley was still in the school with that whacko that was shooting the place up. Even when Lucas tackled me, I wasn't going to back down. So the two of us went in, we had to save our girls…well and Lucas' girl's girl. Or whatever Peyton was to either one of them.

When you kissed my lips with my mouth so full of questions.

I could only hope that Nathan was okay, that he was still on that bus. I looked down at my cell phone, which of course had no service, and realized that his bus would have arrived about 10 minutes ago. This would mean that he was here, in the middle of this, as a huge target.

Whether Nathan had intended on it during the years before I had known him, he had been an asshole to everyone who wasn't in his social clique. If this gunman was anyone who had gone to this school, there was a fair chance that they would have a vendetta against anyone who had bullied them. Nathan wasn't an unfair man at all, but he had been a spiteful and vengeful person, and he might have done more harm than he realized.

It's funny that you don't realize any of these things until they might come back and bite you in the ass. As far as I am concerned, I'm not much better than him. I stuck to my own clique just as he did to the basketball team. Its not like I went out of my way to ignore people, but if they weren't seeking tutoring or being tutored or someone I had known my whole life, we generally didn't associate with each other. Being married to Nathan Scott wouldn't help my odds much either, considering getting to me would be a sure way to get to him, well usually.

My worried mind that you quiet

I've got to say, racing into the school weapon less? Stupid idea. Luke and I went into Whitey's office and stole some baseball bats. Baseball bats! Like they are really going to stop a gun from shooting up our asses! But nonetheless, we kept on going because I had to get to Hayley and he had to…well I guess he had to rescue Peyton for Brooke, or something. Even though they were my friends, I wasn't really worried about them, no matter how bad that sounds. I knew Luke and I would have to split up, but it was still hard to do. What if this was the last time I ever see him?

I passed the AV room and just as I was about to turn the corner, towards the hallway where the tutor center was, I heard someone wandering around. When they turned the corner I grabbed him and pinned him against the wall with the bat pressed against his neck. To my GREAT surprise it was Mouth. He had been in the AV room and hadn't heard the loud speaker announcements. The kid was lucky to be alive, considering there was a murderer around here somewhere. I grabbed him and we quickly tiptoed around the corner to where the tutor center was.

Place your hands on my face
Close my eyes and say
that love is a poor man's food

There was a noise at the door. The one thing going through my mind was that he was here; he was going to slaughter us with his butcher knife. Well…that wouldn't exactly be possible since he was wielding a gun and not a knife, but I wasn't thinking about rationality. I was worried about Nathan and myself and…well I was worried about the baby inside of me that I have yet to tell Nathan about. If I died here, Nathan would be devastated. But not just for me, but for the baby he hadn't even known about.

An ID card slipped into the room and we all stared at it. Since no one was moving I decided to pluck up my courage and look at it. I crawled over and looked at it, and I was relieved to the point of giddiness. It was Nathan's! Nathan was outside the door! He was safe! He was okay!

But my happiness was cut short when Marcus, that ass, wouldn't let me open the fucking door to let my husband in. I don't swear often or at all really, but I was so tempted to mouth off at him. It wouldn't have helped the situation any, but it would have made me feel a whole lot better. Finally I thought of something that only Nathan would know.

"Always?"

"…and forever"

and I knew it was him.

Don't prophesize

Even after I slipped my ID card under the door it wasn't opening. My head was spinning and my heart was pounding and I could practically hear Mouth shaking and looking around wildly while we stood outside that door. I felt like I couldn't breathe as my thoughts were spinning through my head.

Hayley wearing that stupid poncho, Hayley wearing the plastic crackerjack box bracelet, The look on her face when Brooke told her I shared the note, The way she looked on our first date, Kissing in the rain, Cheerleading, Singing to me in the café, Our wedding, The first time we made love, Making love in the rain multiple times, the date night on the rooftop, making the prediction that we would get back together again, when she came back to me, the night she headlined at Tric, our rehearsal dinner, all the memories of our lives were passing before me.

Could this possibly be the last time I ever see my wife again? Then I heard it, the whisper.

"Always?"

and as always, I replied.

"…and forever"

I could hold you in my arms
I could hold you forever

I opened the door and as soon as he was in the room, Mouth trailing behind him, I pulled him into an embrace, not preparing to let go anytime soon. I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face into his shoulder. I had been so worried that I would never see him again and that if I let him go now, it would be less real.

I could hold you in my arms
I could hold you forever

When Hayley jumped into my arms it was as if the world had stopped. I didn't care that there was other people in the room and there was a total psycho in the school somewhere. All that mattered was me and Hayley, and nothing could have interrupted that…well…except for the fact that we were indeed in a school where a total psycho was wielding a gun. So, even though I couldn't bear to do it, I pulled away.

"Guys we need to get out of here" I said assertively, considering no one seemed to be making any attempt to leave. I realized with a jolt that out of the 7 people in there I only knew Hayley, Mouth and Rachel. Just as I was about to walk out the door with Hayley, a voice from the corner spoke up.

"Nobody's going anywhere"

The one thing that went through my mind when I turned around and saw the gun pointed at me was, oh fuck.

So now we see how it is

"Jim…what the…" was all Mouth could say as we were all pressured into going to one side of the room while Jimmy held us at gun point. Childhood memories were whirling through my head as I remembered hanging out at the river court with Lucas and his friends, Jimmy being one of them. I knew that they had kind of grown apart when Lucas joined the Ravens, and I guess I had forgotten about Jimmy, no matter how bad that sounds…

As Jimmy was ranting about every bad thing that had happened to him recently, I couldn't help but cry into Nathan's shoulder. My life was flashing before my eyes and I knew that I could have changed some of this if I would have noticed the guy once in awhile. But you know what? I didn't. He was always just one of Luke's friends, just like Fergie, Skillz and Junk. We were never particularly close, I just hung out with them because Luke did, no matter how bad that may sound…and of course that was being held against me now, and my life may be in danger because of it.

The fist begets the spear
Weapons of war

That Edwards kid sure didn't plan this through very well. He collected all of the cell phones except mine. I told him I didn't have one, and he actually believed me? I don't go anywhere without that phone, everyone knows that around here. Well, everyone in the 'in' crew does anyway. Since I'm sort of their leader, or I used to be.

It's funny how half of the so called 'in' crew turned their back on me when I got married. Then when Hayley was gone and I was wallowing in my own misery, then they tried to get me back. They appeared to only like the Nathan who slept around and was a complete asshole to everyone around him. Everyone except Lucas, Brooke, and Peyton turned their back on me.

I was jolted back to reality when I could feel my phone vibrating in my pocket. I looked at the caller ID and it was Dan. I could have answered it if I wanted to, but I didn't really want anymore holes in my body that I didn't need. So I just rejected the call, trying to look as nonchalant as possible. Well, as nonchalant as a person can be when a gun is trained on their forehead every few minutes.

Symptoms of madness

Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!

I knew Nathan had his phone on him, but I seriously didn't think he was stupid enough to use it! Sometimes he just infuriates me and he's going to get himself killed! Or worse, someone innocent! Like our baby! Ugh! But I can't blame him; he's just trying to save us. Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, and Fuck! I Hayley James-Scott have never sworn this much in my life, ever! But it was a really bad situation and I had the feeling that it was just going to get worse, little did I know that it would.

After Nathan somehow managed to get a text message sent through, to his dad of all people, Jimmy came back in the room and of course, Nathan hadn't put the phone away yet. To say the least, Jimmy flipped out and pointed the gun at Nathan, who didn't flinch. Since Nathan wasn't bothered in the least, well on the outside anyway, Jimmy pointed the gun at me, and then Nathan wasn't so calm anymore. Hell, neither was I!

I envied Abby at that moment, so much. Even though she was diabetic and fighting for her life on two fronts, I still envied her. She had gotten away from this…trouble boy in front of us. She would be able to get outside and be safe. Well, at least I hope she would be able to anyway.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, Jimmy seemed to be calming down. But when Mouth moved to comfort him he freaked out again, threatening to shoot the next person who ventured into the hall. Then I heard it, footsteps in the hall. Shit.

Don't let your eyes refuse to see

Edwards left the classroom.

Don't let your ears refuse to hear.

We heard the two shots go off. Blood had been spilled, people were dying in our hallways, and there was nothing we could do about it.

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I could hold you in my arms
I could hold you forever

I still don't believe it. It's not even a possibility. What the hell was my Uncle Keith even doing in the school anyway? Yeah, he knew the Edwards kid back in the day and his nephews were in the school, but someone should have stopped in. My dad should have stopped him, but he didn't. Now Keith is gone, and he won't ever come back.

Luke and Karen are devastated; apparently Lucas was the last person to see Keith before Edwards shot him, and himself. Keith and Karen were getting married and It pisses me off, and its not fair. Keith and Karen were finally getting their happy ending, and now it's been ripped away from them by some punk ass kid crying for attention.

I know it's wrong to feel this way, but amidst all this darkness I've found a white light. I'm thankful for having another chance with my wife, and I'm never going to lose her again, I can't and I won't.

I've learned the hard way that life is so uncertain, and I need Hayley by my side. I'm going to ask her to marry me again, but this time we're going to do it the right way. I need to have our friends and family around this time, even though were all going through a tough time, Keith wouldn't want us to stop living, so I won't. I'm going to keep living and to keep getting through the days. It will be hard and Luke and Karen will need us, all of us, but somehow we'll make it through and maybe everything can be okay again someday.

I could hold you in my arms
I could hold you forever

I still can't believe it. Why does everything bad happen to the nicest people?

First it was Luke getting HCM and now it's Keith…it hurts just to think about it. I remember growing up with Keith, Karen and Lucas ever since I was 8 or 9, I can't even imagine not having Keith in my life.

I remember when I was 10 years old and Lucas wanted to have a sleepover for his birthday. Unfortunately, we were kind of outcasts since earlier that year, during little league basketball, someone had pointed out that Nathan and Lucas had the same father, and Luke dropped out of the league because of their teasing. So it was just the two of us, Keith and Karen.

That night we all rented a movie, I don't even remember what it was, and we stayed up all night eating popcorn, telling 'scary' stories and just talking. Eventually around 2am Karen fell asleep and so did Luke. I was just pretending to sleep though, because I didn't want Keith to tell anymore stupid jokes that had no point to them. I remember watching him kiss Karen on the forehead and telling her he loved her, even though he would never say it to her face. They made me believe in true love, even though Karen had been denying and hiding her love for years, afraid of being hurt by a Scott brother yet again.

But we all knew Keith would never do that to her. It just took her a little bit longer to realize that. Unfortunately, she realized just a little too late. They finally got together, and Luke and I couldn't have been any happier, we had always envisioned them getting together, but never actually thought his mom would realize her true feelings.

They were finally happy and together but Jimmy Edwards tore it apart. I don't why he would kill Keith, it doesn't make sense. Jimmy always looked up to Keith, we all did. So I don't have a clue why Jimmy would turn the gun on him. I guess there won't be a wedding after all, considering the groom is dead…

Dead.

I hate that word; it's so morbid and final. When you die you don't come back. All I know about this life is simple really. You die, you live and when you finally get what you want, you die. I'll never regret anything I do, except for maybe going on tour. But I won't mess it up this time. No matter what I have to do, I'll restore everything back to normal. Like it was before I left, between me and Nathan.

Not just for our sakes, but for the little one on the way as well.

I could hold you in my arms
I could hold you forever

I could hold you forever

Forever…

[AN: If you missed the early disclaimer, the song in the italics is by Ray LaMontagne and it's called 'Hold you in my arms'. I know some of the thoughts that the characters are experiencing are a bit out of character, but they are being held in a serious situation and they don't know whether or not they're going to live. Besides, everyone swears in their head, even if they don't say it out loud ;)

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, they belong to Mark Schwann.

Also, some dialogue is from Season 3: Episode 15:

With tired eyes and tired minds we slept.

Ty and please R&R (: