I was still too young to grow a beard when Father took me aside. Although his tone was gentle and he tried to choose kind words, I was shattered by what he told me.
Our family had grown too large. Father could no longer afford to feed us, and our home was far too small to house so many people. As a result, he had no choice but to ask his sons to try to find work as hired laborers or apprentices of tradesmen.
My eldest brother, Khodadad, had declared that he would offer his life to divine service by becoming a priest. Piruz was going to ask if any physicians would be willing to train him to heal others. Zartosht promised to become a wealthy merchant and save our family from poverty. Faridoon thought he would be most useful as a livery groom since he had a special gift with horsemanship.
"And what will you do, little brother?" asked Xsayarsa.
I drummed my fingers on the table, a habitual action for when I was deep in thought. I was not strong and agile like Xsayarsa, so I could not join him as a soldier. I would not care to surround myself with illness and injury like Piruz, and I was not skilled enough in mathematics to become a merchant like Zartosht.
"I'm not sure," I admitted. "All of you have chosen fine trades, but none of them fit me."
"Come to the army with me," Xsayarsa suggested. "You can help cook for the soldiers or polish swords. I'll look after you and make sure no one bothers you, and your young age will keep you from having to do battle."
Having no better ideas, I agreed to what my brother had proposed. I promised my family that I would write often and visit home whenever I could, but Mother still cried when we all took leave of her. My sisters were trying to be strong, but I noticed all of them dabbing at their eyes.
Although most of the soldiers were kind to me, my brother's commanding officer was a pain in the neck. No matter what I did, it was never good enough for him. He especially hated the way I drummed my fingers whenever I felt nervous, pensive, or bored.
Eventually, one of the captains had mercy on me. He suggested I learn to be a drummer. It would turn my bad habit into something useful for the army.
From the first moment I struck the drum, I loved it. I could make gentle rhythms like the sound of falling rain, or I could pound angrily like the rolling thunders. I could play the well-ordered steps of a march, or I could play the lively steps of a dance.
I couldn't get enough practice. When I cooked for the soldiers, I would drum on the sides of the pot. Just before I fell asleep at night, I would use my hands to drum on my own knees. Any time I had free of my other duties, I would practice with my drum. I may not have been the best drummer in the army, but none of the other young men could match my enthusiasm.
Finally, the commanding officer declared that he'd tolerated enough of this nonsense, ending his speech by ordering me never to return. I was devastated, but the captain and my brother pleaded that I at least be allowed to take a drum with me so I could play it for coins until I had another job, and the officer begrudgingly granted their request.
My first thought was to go to the temple and pray for forgiveness for any wrong I had done. I would also pray that I found a new trade soon, that I would disgrace my family no longer. When I finished praying, I looked up to see Khodadad.
"What brings you here?" he asked, embracing me.
I told him the whole story, for he was not only my older brother, but also a kindly priest.
"I hope you have fared better," I concluded.
"The magus training me in astronomy has noted changes involving the king star and the lion constellation," he stated. "He thinks it's a sign that a powerful Jewish king has been born, and if his predictions are correct, two stars will travel east across the western sky, and when they align themselves with each other, they will be as one star, brighter than most."
I felt my eyes widen. "How can a man be born a king? I thought he had to be born a prince and only became king later in life."
Khodadad shrugged. "I understand royalty even less than astronomy, but the magi believe in the sign so strongly that they plan to form a caravan! Some of the descendants of the Jews who remained in Babylon after their time in captivity hundreds of years ago have decided to come with them! They think this newborn king might be their prophesied Messiah!"
An older man entered the room. He had a long, white beard and a very wrinkled face, but his robe suggested he also had substantial wealth as a revered member of society. He placed his hand on my brother's shoulder.
"I have asked my apprentice to come with us," the magus informed me. "He has a sharp mind, and I believe he will gain much knowledge during the journey."
"May I come?" The words had left my mouth before I even realized what I was saying. "I've never traveled before."
"Young man, it is no easy feat. There will be many dangers from bandits and the elements of nature and wild animals. You will spend many days walking until your legs feels searing pain from toe to thigh, or you will ride a camel until your hips can barely support your own weight. You will eat simple fare and ration your water. Are you prepared for such a grueling trek?"
"I won't complain, sir," I promised. "I want to see the baby king."
He stroked his beard, deep in thought. "Very well, my boy. We leave at dawn."
I was so excited that I barely slept that night. I looked at the sky several times, trying to see the patterns in the stars that the magi saw, but the tiny dots in the sky all looked the same to me.
The gifts carried by the magi's camels cost more than my family had seen for generations. I could detect the aromas of frankincense and myrrh, and I saw the gleam of gold in the morning sun.
An hour later, I was beginning to feel my feet throb. I began to fear I had made a mistake. Perhaps I should turn back. If I walked in the direction I had just come, I would be reunited with my family before noon.
However, some invisible force kept driving me forward. Perhaps it was merely my curiosity, for never had I laid eyes on a king. Then again, it may have been something stronger. I couldn't explain it, but I kept walking.
Out of habit, I began lightly drumming. The nearest magus turned his head toward the sound, but he did not command me to keep silent, so I continued my gentle cadence.
A fortnight later, I was so exhausted that I no longer had trouble sleeping on the ground, even though I still woke up sore every morning. I had long since tired of our meager rations, and I yearned for the taste of a different dish. I had thought the journey would be over by now, but I was sadly mistaken.
Sometimes we traveled through towns. Many members of our caravan would trade goods they had brought for better food or new clothes or whatever else they deemed necessary. However, I had nothing to trade other than my drum, and I was unwilling to part with it.
Other times, we traveled through vast expanses of wilderness. The landscapes changed as we reached different areas, and I admired their beauty and diversity, but I feared the wild animals and wilder men that lurked in the shadows.
Some time during our journey, the magi's prediction came to pass. Two stars aligned as one and shone more brightly than any other celestial body of the night sky. This star remained in the sky every night.
I silently gave thanks for the company of my brother. Without Khodadad, I fear I would have gone mad during the endless weeks that slowly stretched into months. He was my only companion, never too busy to reminisce about our childhood or teach me about the constellations of the night sky or hear the latest rhythm I had taught myself on my drum.
After what seemed an eternity, we finally reached the palace of King Herod. While the magi spoke with him, I watered the camels. I had hoped we would stay a few days, but as soon as the magi learned the king had not been born in Herod's palace, they were eager to leave.
That night, a magus noted that the aligned stars seemed to rest over a certain home, and when the magi had taken careful note and come to an agreement concerning the exact location, we rested for the evening.
"We cannot go now," one magus stated. "The family has a young child, who is no doubt sleeping. It would not be proper to wake them."
Although my body had toughened to the outdoor life over the months of rugged travel, I was once again too excited to sleep. What was a baby king like? Did he already act royal, or was he just like a normal baby? Why did his home look so poor if he was a king?
As soon as we had broken our fast the following morning, we made our way through town to the home where we had seen the bright alignment of stars. No one dared to speak a word; the magi were too reverent, and the rest of us were too nervous. Even my drum was silent.
"Knock on the door!" a magus ordered.
I hesitantly rapped lightly on the door, and a young Jewish woman answered.
"I am sorry to disturb you," I began, "but we seek the one born King of the Jews, for we have seen his star and come to worship him."
She smiled graciously. "Welcome. Do come in, for you must be weary from your journey."
To this day, I'm still not sure how we all managed to fit inside her house. It had been built by a skilled carpenter, no doubt her husband, who seemed to have already left for work that day, but it was terribly small. They seemed as impoverished as my family.
A young child, little more than a baby, toddled up to the woman, lifting his tiny, pudgy arms to ask her to pick him up, and she obliged. As soon as the magi saw the child, they threw themselves to the ground, and I thought it best to follow suit.
I was confused. How could a child born in poverty be a king? He looked like any normal baby.
However, it wasn't my place to ask questions. Surely the magi were far wiser than I could ever hope to be, so if they said he was a king, then he was a king.
"My lord," a magus began, "we present to you myrrh."
"Mmmm! Mmmm!" the baby repeated, apparently liking the sound of the new word he could not yet imitate. "Mmmm!"
A second magus held out a golden chest of frankincense. "We offer this to you as well, my king."
"Mmmm!"
"Please accept also our gift of gold."
"Ga?" He tilted his head. "Ga! Ga! Ga!"
The mother lowered her eyes demurely. "You honor us with your presence. On behalf of my son, I give you our most heartfelt thanks for these precious gifts."
I felt ashamed of myself. I too came from a poor family. I owned nothing other than a drum, and what use could a king have for that? Even though I had known from the beginning that I would have no gift to present the royal infant, I still wished there was something.
Then I noticed he was staring at my drum. He seemed to be concentrating on it with his dark, unblinking eyes. No doubt he had never seen one before, and he was curious to know what the purpose was of this strange object.
"Shall I play for you on my drum?" I queried.
The mother nodded kindly.
Since the child was so young, I did not want to frighten him, so I played softly and gently like falling rain. He squealed and waved his hands, seeming to sense that the motion of my hands was what made the new sound that he liked so much.
Then he smiled at me.