Bonjour. This is my first Star Wars fanfiction *screams and blows a kazoo*. I had a lot of philosophical thoughts whilst thinking up ideas for this, which is why the Psalms excerpt below stuck with me when I happened upon it. I considered that darkness and light goes beyond good versus evil sometimes. A balance is a balance.

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars, obviously. Will never own in future. This is also my own work, because I'm not into ripping people off.

Even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you

-Psalms 139:12

Chapter 1

It was the pity. Rey was adamant about it. From the moment Kylo Ren had unsheathed his saber into his father's chest the brief anger she had felt had turned to pity. Rey had felt the falter in his mind, let alone having seen it reflected in his eyes. When the knight had been hit by Chewbacca's phaser blast, what Rey imagined was excruciating pain had awoken his flaring rage and bloodlust again. It broke what uncertainty Rey had felt in the air around him.

Then when they had fought in the forest, it was his feelings of disgust which bled into her. His unchained emotions filled the air around them and they were infectious, even before their sabers had touched.

Yes, it was pity. It was the pity that had connected them through the Force. Not Kylo's admission that they were similar. I feel it too.

Rey knew what she was supposed to feel and think. She fought against the connection to the nth degree. She could pretend that any stray emotions she felt were her own. That the rage which she tied down and didn't let explode was frustration at her inability to pick up a new Jedi technique. That her spite was because she was still a foolish child. The pain, which felt self-inflicted, was her tired imagination. That her desire... it was but an extension of her humanity. She was still human, but becoming a Jedi would eventually drive those emotions out.

Training was her answer to everything. Luke could feel what was churning outside of Rey's own mind. He did not need to intrude to see the emotions swirling within. They were different somewhat to the calm efficiency which she usually worked with; As if they weren't her own. Though Rey wouldn't admit to holding a connection with anyone else. Who could these dark thoughts belong to? Luke had his suspicions, but Force connections were rare. He shared one with his sister, not knowing whether that was love or sibling familiarity that had forged the connection. The Force was still strange and unusual to the Jedi master. Even years at the Jedi temple had only just begun to unlock its mystery.

Rey bowed before Luke at the close of their training for the day. She would then wash up before they ate; a tasteless grain and dried seaweed.

'Rey,' Luke found himself say.

She paused, her eyebrow rising. She had become accustomed to her master calling her Padawan, so she was unsure how to react at first.

'Yes Master'

He pursed his lips and looked seriously at her. 'Being a Jedi, it does not mean you let go of human feelings. They will always be real and present, but it is accepting them and becoming one and balanced with them, once you can do that, you will be one step closer to mastering an understanding of the Force. A Jedi acts with balance and justice, but knows to maintain that emotional balance, they must be at a balance within themselves. That is why we meditate; to maintain. Even the dark must do so, a balance of emotions means power, if you have seen different, then you are mistaken.'

Luke paused and gauged the expression on his pupil's face. The swirling darkness that surrounded her on occasion was not her own. He was sure of that. It was transferred: A displaced darkness which she had caught onto the stream of.

'Do you understand?' He questioned.

'So your emotions must not control your actions?' Rey questioned.

Luke shook his head. 'Your actions must be one with your emotions. There must be a balance with your emotions, whilst also a balance between your emotions and your actions, so that all your actions work with the unity of your emotions and the Force."

Rey nodded. 'I understand master.'

Rey bowed again and turned away from her master, making her way to her own quarters. She considered as she went that even Kylo Ren would never be able to fully understand his own potential if he was never at a balance. Perhaps that was the reason why she had beaten him, that as well as his injury. She needed to be better, that is all she knew.

Her quarters consisted of a small room within one of the partially decayed Jedi structures on the planet. The room was not water tight, but it did not have a draft, so on warm days, it was quite pleasant.

She put her sparing sword down in its holder and relinquished herself of her training gear. Rey stood in her tunic, wishing she had some sort of reflective surface to see herself in. She hadn't seen her own face in months. Rey imagined that she had drastically changed. She could feel her muscles grow and shape from daily training and she knew that her mental development must have changed how she appeared, at least to herself: At least an added air of confidence which she may have lacked?

Rey stepped out of her room and took a slow walk towards the open roofed meditation room of the temple. She used the room to meditate in and used the impluvium below the open roof to bathe in. She walked in silence, having learnt to keep her footsteps light and soundless. Rey felt at peace for the moment, the unwanted emotions had left her briefly and she was able to breathe.

Before her training had begun that morning, Rey had emptied and filled the small impluvium with fresh water. The water, though cold, was soothing to her muscles and the memory she carried with her of the sweltering heat of Jakku.

Her bathing was short. It was more as a means of brief serenity, rather than cleanliness. Rey took the opportunity to wash her hair with one of her few possessions; a bar of soap she had kept within her pack since she had arrived on the planet. It would soon run out, though Rey imagined that she would be called back to D'Qar before that.

The war was still real and apparent. Though Rey held no direct connection with any of her friends, she felt in the Force that the fighting had stilled for the time being, whilst both sides recuperated.

She left the impluvium and allowed herself to air dry, closing her eyes and willing the Force to surround her and let the remaining water fall from her skin. Rey had gotten better at using the Force over the few weeks since she had first tried, though she still found her physical skills were superior to her control of the mystical power.

Getting dressed into her tunic again, Rey stepped back into the middle of the room and took a moment to meditate.

She sat, crossing her legs and joining her hands together in her lap. It had taken her a long time to get accustomed to putting herself into a trance. Her mind would so easily wonder back to Jakku, to the events which happened prior to her finding Luke and before she was weighed down by emotions that weren't hers.

Her breathing settled and she concentrated on the Force. How it flowed within her and around her. She could see and feel Luke's Force signature not too far away. She continued on, passing it by and searching further and further for more. It was if she were a bird, able to fly the whole planet and see the small Force signatures of the small creatures that lived there. Her mind went to breach the atmosphere and the Force felt overwhelming. It was too difficult for her to separate out the Force signatures within the star system which she currently remained in. It was like a spectacle, though. Rey could see which planets were heavily populated and which were not. She could feel the murmur in the Force and it was almost like it whispered to her, telling her beautiful things of the light.

Rey felt like she was sitting on a cloud. Or perhaps she had become this system's star, looking fondly at everything within its reach. She smiled to herself knowing that potentially one day she could go even further. Travel planets in her mind, explore without leaving her place.

Just as Rey was beginning to pull back, she heard a whisper and her concentration was drawn to it. She found discomfort in the whisper and despite feeling fearful in the pit of her stomach, she pursued it, hoping to understand what it was.

It was intoxicating; feeling the adrenaline of her fear, but following anyway. Then she paused. She didn't feel the warmth of the light anymore, it was like she had been plunged into ice water and then thrown into fire.

Her eyes opened immediately, yelping as she felt her skin burn. When she looked at her arms and legs, though, they remained untouched.

Rey felt wary. She didn't know what it meant, but in the back of her mind, she felt the allure to try again and be burnt. She shook her head however, thinking wishing pain on herself was illogical. It wasn't what she should be thinking. It wasn't what Luke would want her to be thinking.

She got up and went back to her quarters, taking her evening cloak and exiting the ruins again.

In the now dim light, Luke was already sitting beside a fire, tending to it with the Force. His hand was held out in front of him, as if softly coaxing the fire to life. As if the fire was just a child or small animal needing a loving touch.

Their dinner was slowly cooking above the fire and Rey wrapped herself in her cloak as the night chill came.

'Master Luke,' Rey murmured, looking up at her master.

'Yes, padawan.' He did not glance up at her, he just continued to stir the grain.

Rey swallowed and looked into the fire for a brief moment, wondering whether if she put her hand within the flames, would she be able to avoid the pain through her control of the Force alone.

'No, you would not be able to.' Luke interrupted her thoughts and Rey's eyes snapped back up at him. 'Pain cannot be avoided and should not be manipulated to convince yourself it can should not think such things, child. Those are dark thoughts.'

Rey bowed her head, embarrassed. 'I'm sorry, Master.' She bit down on her lip softly, trying to avoid the idea that this time, those were her own thoughts.

'What did you want to ask me?' He questioned, taking their two bowls and sharing the grain between them.

Rey passed her master a piece of dried seaweed and took her bowl from him, bowing her thanks. 'I wondered whether you would come back too. When my training ends, or something happens in the Force.'

Luke looked out over the expanse of the island and breathed heavily. 'I can no longer hide myself away here.' He looked to Rey then. 'I came here to find the answers in the Force. How to truly find balance between dark and light.'

'Did you find the answers, Master Luke?' Rey asked. She then spooned some of the gruel into her mouth.

Luke shook his head. 'I found that my questions were wrong. Where there is light, there is also darkness. Balance is brief. Like a sunset, dark will eventually overpower the light, but once sunrise comes, light will dominate again. It is a continuous struggle, the fated pair that will always be at odds.'

'Does that mean we are all susceptible-?'

Luke cut Rey off with a nod. 'Even I could be seduced to the dark side. It is our choice, however, to choose the right side.'

Rey nodded in understanding. 'If the dark side is so seductive, why is the light not also?'

He smiled at that, reaching out to Rey and patting her shoulder. 'The light is just as seductive when it is let in. Even someone born and moulded in darkness can be drawn towards the light. Just like the dark feeds off of anger, pain and vengeance even, the light feeds off of joy, love and humility.'

Rey nodded again and found herself mimicking her master's smile and she continued to eat, comfortable silence falling over the two of them.

XxX

Rey bid her master a good night and went back to her quarters to rest. She had always been accustomed to sleeping early and rising early, so training with Luke was comfortable.

She removed her boots once more and slipped onto her small cot, wrapping herself in several blankets which Chewbacca had left before he had gone back to the resistance with the reluctant R2-D2.

Rey was comfortable. The small cot and warmth that she had created with the blankets was far more comforting than any structure she had lived in on Jakku. It wasn't long before she drifted off to sleep, feeling a wave of apprehension as she did so.

As she slept, Rey found herself in an unfamiliar building or house. It was unlike anything she remembered seeing before. The rooms were covered in wood, rather than the metal she was so used to, yet it wasn't a hut. It seemed grand almost. Despite the grandeur of it all, there seemed to be a darkness in the air which spurred on her uncertainty. The curtains which covered the windows were black and she thought she heard someone weeping.

Rey explored, finding herself lost in mazes of rooms, all with the similar design, though fear struck at her when she found rooms which smelled of blood and sizzling flesh. She could not see where the smell came from, but her mind urged her to wake up. Even as she walked deeper within the house, the darkness seemed to close in on her, never touching her, but making its presence known. It was unlike the darkness she had become accustomed to – it felt far more raw and wild than the calculated evil she had associated with the Dark Side.

Master Luke had never spoken in detail about there being different representations of dark and light. At least not yet. This darkness seemed untempered and it intrigued Rey. She wondered what it could mean if a kind of darkness existed which was uncalculated, vicious like a wild animal, yet natural. Was there a light counterpart? Dazzling and striking? If an angel fell, would it be filled with darkness or blinding light?

She paused then, feeling a shift in the air. The rawness of the dark seemed to grow and she smelled sweat and something else…she wasn't quite sure. It was unfamiliar to her, but Rey knew it was not a scent made from fantasy.

Then she heard creaking and guttural moans. Rey thought they sounded like cries of torture and she set off again, to find the source of the noises. As she rushed down a darkened and featureless hallway she could tell there were two different moans. The thought of it made her slow down again and her ears pricked up, working through all of the possibilities of what she would find if she continued.

Her brow furrowed as she continued on and she felt the hair at the back of her neck stand up and the darkness begin to glance off her skin. It was uncomfortable. It was as if it licked at her, stinging her for an incredibly brief moment before sending relief against where it had touched her.

The voices – she knew they were voices now – elevated and Rey could hear heavy breathing once she reached the front of an open door. The jerking sound of two hard surfaces coming into contact and then the rhythmic slap of skin against skin answered Rey's question.

She did not have to look within the room to know what she had happened upon. But she did not understand why she had found this in her own mind?

Her hand paused on the handle, considering for a moment why darkness would surround her in her own dream. Even if she was possessed with dark thoughts which were not hers, she was not so afflicted or plagued by them as this.

It wasn't until she was already peering around the door did Rey understand what it meant. Not until her eyes caught onto the broad shoulders and dark curls of the man whose dream this was. Rey could only see his back, but she knew who he was. Darkness swirled around him, caressing him as his muscles moved beneath his skin. Rey couldn't look away. It was an intoxicating sight. The darkness whispered to her, almost giggled and her hand tightened on the door handle.

Whoever his partner was gasped then and Rey felt almost light headed as darkness slinked around her, touching and burning her. His movements only sped up and more of the darkness drew to him, covered him in its rawness.

Rey understood then, why the darkness stuck so closely to him. She knew in his movements, in how he seemed to bring pain out of the woman; uncalculated…untempered pain. It was lust; something that her master so often called a dark attribute. And as Rey continued to stare and was unable to tear her gaze away, she could feel her own growing too.

Then she heard her own voice. It hadn't even been a word that had escaped her mouth, it was almost a breath, an inhalation.

His head swiftly turned and when their eyes met, Rey felt as if she had been doused in fire, and then she was suddenly blinking awake, staring at the wall across from her, sweat dripping from her amongst the blankets.

He had seen her. Kylo Ren had seen her. Not some apparition. Not some fantastical character her own mind had conjured. Rey had fallen into his dreams somehow. She had felt his lust. She had seen into his mind. The blood…the smell of burning flesh, the distant screaming, it was all forged in his imagination.

The darkness: The archaic representation of it. It had not been his, however. Rey could distinguish that once she had awoken. Kylo Ren's darkness was dirty, damaged and mangled. This darkness which had seared her flesh, which had been drawn to Kylo Ren's unyielding movements and had been tempting, almost unknowingly in its giggling embrace. This darkness was at its rawest. It had been tangible, unlike what Rey suspected light in its purest form would be.

Then suddenly Rey felt cold. She had been tempted. The darkness that had plagued her waking mind through his had reached her through Kylo Ren's dreams, eliciting a reaction out of her that she had not shirked away from. A reaction she had not rejected but drawn towards.

Rey shivered then, realising that despite her best efforts, she was more susceptible to the darkness than she had previously thought.

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