I sighed as I got dressed, but for all the wrong reasons. I tugged at the waistband of my skirt, hopping that it would snap back to my middle as it always had before. Unfortunately, it stayed in the same place, dropping down by my hips. I pulled it back to its original spot, glancing around my room for something to keep it on. Of course, I didn't have a belt. When had I ever needed one? Keeping my clothes on had never been an issue.
I finally found a few pins, and after a bit of tucking, my skirt fit again. I sighed, and did a quick impromptu twist down the hall. Every time I turned to the left, I got jabbed with one of the pins. I sighed for the tenth time that morning as I entered the kitchen.
"What's the matter, hon?" Mama asked, setting a bowl of oatmeal down in front of me.
"Mama, my clothes don't fit anymore." I said.
"Well don't worry your little head about that." She started. "Mr. Pinky can always just start giving you the next size up-"
"No Mama. I don't need the next size up." I sighed. "I need the next size down."
She dropped the plate she was holding. The china flew in every direction, causing a wonderful racket. I bent down and started picking it all up, though Mama didn't move.
"Tracy hon, are you sure?" She asked when her senses returned to her.
"Yes, I'm sure." I said. I lifted up my shirt and showed her the pins in my skirt. "It will keep falling down if I don't pin it." I explained.
"Well, I'm sure we can talk to Mr. Pinky." She was covering her shock a lot better now. "He might be able to give you some new skirts in advance." She gave me a kiss on the forehead and smiled. "Now hurry, or you're gonna be late for school."
I grabbed my knapsack off the table and rushed out the door. I couldn't stop thinking about my smaller middle for the entire bus ride, even though Penny was trying to tell me about the last date she snuck off to have with Seaweed. She finally noticed that I wasn't responding, and let the conversation drop. She must have been thinking for the rest of the ride, because by the time we reached school she began to ask questions.
"Tracy, are you okay?" She asked, pulling a sucker out of her bag. "You've been awfully quiet, and it's not like you.
"I'm fine." I said, with no real feeling. I spun the dial, hitting all the right numbers, and opened the door. I began pulling books out at random, trying to remember what my classes were, but only thinking about the number of inches of extra fabric was at my waist.
"Well, I'm just a little worried about you." She said. Then I heard a little squeal, and knew that Seaweed must have been spotted.
Sure enough, I heard his voice next. "Good mornin' Tracy." He said. "What's got you troubled on such a fine day?"
"Nothing, Seaweed." I said, giving up on the fight for the right books and closing my locker door. That's when I saw that the one person I was most excited and anxious to see had been standing next to me the whole time, his face concealed by the blue metal.
"Sure doesn't look like nothin'" Link said, cupping my face gently in his hands and tilting my face towards his. "Looks like you've got somethin' on your mind."
"I'm fine." I said. Although I was in love with him, he made me nervous right now. I felt like the other girls on the Corny Collins Show at last, but only in reverse. They were always worried about gaining weight, and here I was, worried about losing it.
Link gave me skeptical look, then smiled and kissed me gently. "Okay darlin'." He said. "I'll drop it for now. But we're gonna talk about this soon, okay?"
That afternoon at the studio, Link made good on his promise. It was during a commercial break, right after I had forgotten the steps to the new dance halfway through. Link covered for me, of course, adding a turn so that his back was the only thing the camera could see for a moment, just long enough to get me back on track. I was only happy that television wasn't in color, and that no one but Corny and the rest of the Council could see how red my cheeks were. I immediately headed backstage at the songs end, Link following me.
"Tracy, I can tell that something's bothering you." He took my hand, rubbing the back of it with his thumb. "Why don't you just tell me and make it easier on us both?"
"Fine." I said. "But don't laugh."
"I would never laugh at you." He said, giving me a quick kiss.
"I'm losing weight and it scares me because I fell like it's what makes me me and I'm afraid that you won't like me anymore if I'm smaller and I don't want to be smaller I just want to be how I am, and I don't even know why I'm losing weight because I'm still eating like I was and I don't want to get new clothes and I'm just scared because I don't want to lose you and I don't know what to do." I said it all in one breath, letting all my anxiety and fear pour out.
Link just stared at me for a moment, his blue eyes blinking. Then he did the unthinkable. He laughed.
My eyes grew wide and began to flood with tears. I turned on my heel and marched back towards the stage.
"Wait, Trace, no!!" I heard him yell. He caught up with me, grabbed my arms and turned me to face him. "I didn't mean to laugh at you. I really didn't. It wasn't supposed to be a mean laugh. I was just relieved. Because I thought something was really wrong, and it turned out to be just this." I made an indignant noise and tried to pull away. "Not that this isn't important!! Oh, I'm just messin' this all up, aren't I?" He sighed. "Look Tracy. I love you. And I don't care what size you are. I don't care if you're as small as stick or as big as a house. You're my girl and I'm your boy, and that's all that matters. So you can just get that thought right out of your head that I'm gonna leave you. Tracy, I couldn't leave you if I tried." I allowed myself a small smile. I knew he was telling me the truth. "And anyway, darlin'." He said, lowering his hands to my waist. "You're dancing like crazy every day now. You're bound to be a little smaller now." He began to draw small circles with his fingertips on my sides. "But Trace, I still think you're as beautiful as ever." His grin grew, and I pulled him closer. I closed my eyes as our lips met, pulling him in for a deeper kiss.
Then with a jerk and yelp, Link pulled away. I looked up at him, confused, as his hands left my side, his right one lifted up to his eyes. I saw a flash of red as he inspected his forefinger.
I started to laugh. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. It's just the pins in my skirt." I lifted my shirt slightly to show him the pins. "It would fall off without them."
"Well then, it's probably better that they're there." He said, with a smile. "I wouldn't want any girl of mine to be known for something like that."
I stuck my tongue out at him. He laughed and pulled me out to the dance floor. "Come on girl, we have some dancin' to do!"