[a few people asked for a sequel to A Pair of Little Silver Wings, so I wanted to do one, and Alley has more story than just Happily Ever After. I know this is a little dark, okay, it's a lot dark, fine, it's darker than Fang in a thunderstorm, but Alley is MY oc, therefore there is no ooc for her. so if you don't like it don't read it. if you do like it, review, and fav, and we can all be friends, cool? cool. enjoy!]

I woke up with his name on my lips. I only let myself whisper it though; I didn't want to wake anyone else.

"Conner," my eyes filled right up with tears. I didn't want them out, the way they stung my eyes was distracting, and I held them there as long as I could. Then one finally slipped down my cheek. I listened for it to hit the pillow. "Conner," I let his name out again.

Conner is dead. He died because you're useless. Snapped the little voice in my head, the one that could have been mine, but wasn't.

I know! I snapped back. I know what I am!

Do you? The voice asked sharply. Do you really? Do you know that you're a failure? Do you know that you're a waste of space, a waste of feathers and flesh? Do you know that you're weak, and that you slow Max and her flock down? Do you know that you will never belong anywhere? And that no one loves you?

That's not true! Max loves me, she said so! I thought. I wasn't sure. She was nice to me, she laughed when I tried to joke, she had taught me how to fly, but maybe she was only being nice to me to be nice to me, like maybe she just felt bad for me. Lots of people had helped me and Conner because they felt bad for us, Conner had always said that half the food we ate was pity-food. Was Max's love pity-love?

More like pity-help. The voice scoffed. She doesn't love you. You know that. You know I wouldn't lie to you, Alley.

I nodded into my pillow. The voice had never lied to me for the whole six weeks I'd had it.

That's right. You'll never belong anywhere. No one loves you. You're useless. You're weak and helpless, and a waste, and a failure. You're a liability to Max. You know this is all true?

"I know." I whispered. "I know what I am."

You know it, but do you believe it?

For a moment, I wondered, did I? Then, I saw Conner -my big brother, my only friend for a long time- lying dead, in a puddle of his own blood. I saw the man who had shot him look up at me and say "You did this. You killed him when you ran away."

"Yes." I whispered. "I do."

Good girl. You know what to do, don't you?

Yes, I knew. I don't have a knife. I also knew that was a useless response.

Check the cabinet over the toilet in the bathroom, top shelf to the left. Lock the door.

I rolled out of the bed Angel and me were sharing and snuck across the hotel room and opened the bathroom door slowly, half hoping it would make a noise. It didn't. I locked myself in and checked the cabinet. There it was, a little silver knife, just like the voice had said. It never lies.

I picked it up; it was cold, like holding a dead thing. I sat on the floor, with my back to the tub. I tried to think a good thing. Max loves you. She said she did. I put the knife to my wrist.

That's it, Alley. That is how you will get stronger, feed on the pain. The pain is the only thing you have, Alley. The voice soothed.

I cut. I slid the knife over my skin. It hurt so bad, I wanted to stop, but I wanted to be strong more. I did it again and again, switching wrists after a while.

I kept going until the voice said I could stop. Now, clean yourself up.

I did. I clumsily wrapped my wrists with gauze from the first aid kit that Max had left out when we went to bed.

Good girl. The voice said. I knew it would go away now, and stay away for at least the whole rest of the night.

I drooped my head down on the tub. I let my eyes close. I wished I was dead instead of my mom and Conner.

[REVIEW! PLEASE! FLAME IF YOU WANT! fly high and always love, Rose]