Camp Camp X-Mas Short
Gwen sneezed as she crawled out of bed, it was fucking freezing this time of year and she was back at her god forsaken excuse of a crappy job. Who the fuck sends kids off to camp during Christmas break? Let alone enough of the little brats that Camp Campbell had to remain open. So here she was out in the middle of fucking nowhere with half of the camps regulars. The snow had gotten so deep that the campers were now sleeping indoors rather than the outdoor tents the lil shits normally where forced to use and to compensate Gwen's already small room even smaller with Nikki, Nerris and Ered present. Luckily the boys made room up in the mess hall attic, and hopefully Nikki and Neil wouldn't be here much longer as their now that Candy had roped Neil's father into a shotgun wedding in Vegas a few weeks ago, (barely two months after Parents Day) were just setting up their new house. Which would leave Max, Nurf and Harrison for her and David to wrangle, as Ered could leave any time she wanted as her father's where bearly a 5 minute call away with two Glamper vans (one just for their precocious daughter so her dads could have some space). Groaning the 24 year old woman dressed and tired to leave her room only to find wrapping paper blocking her way.
"What the…. I'm gonna kill….." the brunette face palmed as she snarled, her swearing waking the three genetical females sharing her bed room.
"What time is it…" Ered asked rubbing the sleep from her eyes as Nerris yawned the small 'elfkin' had never been good with morning to the point Max actually willingly gave the magic kid coffee each morning..
"It's 7 go back to bed I just have to wake Quartermaster so we can have breakfast in an hour…. Once I fucking remove this paper."
"I'll do it." Nikki cheered.
Before the tiny aquamarine haired little girl threw herself through the paper rolling around and shredding bits with her hands and teeth alway happy to perform some early morning destruction while Nerris flopped back into the blankets as Ered stole Gwen's cool girl unable to stand subzero temperatures, Nikki after the destruction she darted back to blankets her teeth chattering as if the mint haired girl had been frozen. Gwen tried not to glare from jealousy at the kids as she moved outdoors to wake their Quartermaster. Waking the Quartermaster was Gwen's least favourite tasks and one that alternated between the two councilors. Whoever woke first woke the Quartermaster then their co councilor before they moved to wake the campers. The little shits a lot easier to handle when their was the promise of food. Well asides the other two people who Max prescribed coffee for, the sullen satan having moved the machine indoors and had been fully prepared to attack Neil so the budding scientists did not 'modify' the wondrous device. Max and Nerris along with Gwen herself didn't fare well without a large dose of caffeine, to the point David made absolute certain that they all had at least one cup of their 'icky but life giving go go juice' a line that had caused Max to lunge at David's with one of Nurf's knives but that event was almost three years ago and Max seemed to have fallen into apathy as if bored with everything, even his own clever stunts. After all how many Brats knew how to hotwire a bus? Or build a catapult attached a rube goldberg machine from scratch unassisted? The boy was smarter than most adult and Gwen had to admit there were days she felt that IQ gap painfully as the midget worked his way around the camp as if it was his, a shame that it practically was.
"Oi you still breathing,." Gwen called banging on the door only for the old man to open the door thankfully dressed.
"Where's The Boy" the old man started squinting, far too used to David waking him early, the elderly man had woken and been waiting for the red head
"Fuck if I know…. Look can you start cooking something warm for the campers it's too freaking cold for cereal."
Grumbling the disgusting excuse for an elderly woodsman and cook began trudging through the snow, it has temporarily stopped falling but they were almost snowed. Lake Lilac was completely frozen and only Camp Campbell kept its doors open. Harrison and Max both staying as their parents just never bothered to contact the camp to pick up their kids for the few short weeks left of winter holidays, Nurf whose child services case worker stated was in between homes while an investigation took place (Nurf guessing that his latest foster house got busted for drugs). Nerris like Nikki and Neil would be picked up soon her mother first to state the part of the roof collapsed and then again to state the her husband who had been driving to collect their child had called home as car broke down and got trapped in the snow and Ered who wanted to continue having Nerris & Nikki fawn over her while she taught Nurf how to play ice hockey.
David had jokingly called winter their version of a graveyard shift until Max, Neil and Nikki attempted to run off and limped back to camp covered in dust and blood, groaning as the snow hid a few camper sized pitfall traps the wood scouts had made on. After the zombie scare things had quieted down Max mostly remained curled up like a blanket burrito while Neil & Nikki guarded their friend, Nurf being the one to mention that Max mentioned that he'd normally wouldn't get a blanket or any form of heat during winter only his hoodie and the sunlight to keep him warm. After David and her heard that they unearthed every blanket washed them and handed the out to the campers. With a faint smile Gwen made it back indoors, Davids door too was gift wrapped and it took her a few seconds to shred the paper a feat made harder by the layers of sticky tape coating the brightly coloured shit. Having to suppress a chuckle over the sight within, every item, and David himself was tightly wrapped layers of tape binding the paper together leaving David more tangled than the dog who got caught up in his washing.
"Ok I'm guessing that your didn't do this to yourself?" Gwen rolled her amethyst eyes as she ripped the tape off Davids mouth.
"Despite how much fun playing with gift wrap is… I wasn't able to buy anyone a single present… the camps completely snowed in and everywhere else has closed for the holidays. We're cut off until the Sheriffs office can hire a snow plow from the city to clear the road." David stated trying to force himself to be calm.
He had been up most of the night making phone calls to try and see if there was anything they urgently needed to do to help. He had even had to call as many of the parents who were accepting calls to keep them updated. In the end the Millers started a group chat and told him to keep the campers indoors or if they had to be outside then no further than main activities center. In the end inorder to get some sleep David had taken one of Gwen's anxiety pills before finally passing out.
"Shit…"
"Ered's fathers said they'll rush the other parents and a snow ploy up here as soon no later than tomorrow, but…" David broke off losing his train of thought when gwen finally managed to free his arms from the gift wrap.
Everything from his photographs, cork board, table, carpet and bed had been wrapped up like presents and put back where they belonged. Gold and red paper had even been taped to his window, his small clocks led lights shone faintly threw a disney print wrapping paper. His bed was a hodgepodge of different sections of wrapping paper. All of which expertly and almost seamlessly taped together, the kaleidoscope of colors and patterns meshed together caused both of the councilors to blink wondering who the hell broke into the camp to do this and why.
"WHAT IN TARNATIONS!" an angry yell echoed from the kitchenette in the mess hall snapping both young adults out of there thoughts.
"Get dressed, I'll go see what QM's yelling at.. However I'm guessing more of this." Gwen gestured to the wrapped room.
David nodded moving over the the tightly taped draws, the sticky tape refusing to budge causing david to try to get the pocketknife from his boot, which he always kept at the foot of his bed. Luckily the shoes where still there (under silver wrapping paper) but the redhead groaned on finding his pocketknife yed he was glad it hadn't been stolen but their mystery wrapper had gift wrapped his blade, put it back in the boot then wrapped the boot. Feeling sorry for himself David sliced open the paper only to find another pass the parcel situation.
"When I find who did this…." David muttered trying not to cry or laugh with defeat. His chest of draws, each draw and then each individual item of clothing including his underwear had been taken out gift wrapped and returned. While belated despair David realized that this was going to be the crazy thing for today, that everything they needed to use would be gift wrapped in multiple layers of paper, as the culprit must have snuck over to the flower scout camp before the weather to get too bad. The girl scout like camp had recently held a gift wrapping sale to boost popularity and raise the funds to a trip to somewhere warmer, thus the girls had thousands of rolls of gift wrap unused at the end of the day.
Gwen on the other hand was laughing as the insanity of the situation overruled her anxiety, the Quartermaster merely stood silently gaping at the pantry as his eye twitched. The culprit had even gift wrapped the cooking and eating utensils, the oven and even the food, luckily using gift tags to state what the food was under the paper even if a few had question marks as if they were not certain if the food was safe or they forgot midway threw their wrapping spree. The few kids who had dragged themselves out of their warm beds at the old man's scream looked around in confusion, the only two campers not present Max and Nerris but that was more than expected from the 'not-a-fuck-ing-morning-person' duo.
"What on earth… The hell did you do Harrison!" Neil hissed at the magician.
"Not me, if it was I would have been running around yelling 'Tada'." Harrison rolled his eyes wondering just who could have had the time and energy to do something this elaborate.
"This is so cool, that its uncool…. Did I just say that?" Ered muttered out loud her eyes widening in shock horror.
"The bows on the door handles are even tied with the bunny eared style perfect bow David taught us, like fucking forever ago." Nurf commented examining the bow carefully. It had been one of the 'camps' he had paid attention to as bow tying was an extension to knot tying and also left less of a mark when removed, perfect for tying and holding people before releasing them. His mom had sent him a set of brass knuckles when he had sent the instructions to her just to let her know his camp progress, But his hands hand proved too big to get any real use from them.
"Ok which of you lil shits did this?" Gwen turned to face them as quartermaster began to start slashing things open with his hook, a sharp pitch screeching sound echoing as the oven was freed from its paper prison.
A chorus of "Not me." echoed from the kids present.
"You mean it's not David?" Nikki asked tilting her head.
"No Nikki, not this time. Neil I hate to ask but was anything wrapped in the boys room? The girls and I were trapped in our rooms with the stuff.
"The trap door had some but it was on the outside but otherwise their was only a small present next to the cots."
"After you left Nikki and I found gifts too, it was like so cool." Ered added pulling out a set of new sunglasses.
Gwen's lavender eyes narrowing, the glasses weren't hers and they didn't looked familiar. The other campers pulling out their gifts as well, Nurf proudly holding a metal bat with spikes the paint job on the metal indicating that it was probably stolen from the woodchucks. Neil had pulled out a small chemistry set of vials and test tube and a set of forceps, Nikki too had a weapon (slingshot) along with a dog whistle going off the fact it made no sound when the small girl blew it. However it was Harrison's gift that baffled Gwen even if it was only for a few short seconds, it was a large piece of quartz chiseled to give it the shape of a very crude dagger.
"No fair you get the pretty weapon." Nurf whined,
"I think its an Athame." Neil stated causing the group to look at him. "What I ran out of science books at school and started… dabling."
"You tried to prove magic wasn't real with science, didnt you." Harrison raised an eyebrow starting down the other boy.
"Whats is an at me? Neil?" Nikki moved the conversation along.
"A-Tha-me, Nikki. Athames are the dagger equivalent of a magic wand, people actually believe that the wands needs finesse those with a lot of raw power struggle to get the wand to work. An athame being a dagger is larger and easier to use as is cuts away you overflow and has more space to safely chanell raw power. And no I wasn't trying to prove magic was not real then I was trying to find a scientific reasons to why miracles exist…. Also I didn't get you it, any more than I think any of you imbasels would know the exact items i need to get back to doing real science."
"So none of you gift wrapped the entire camp?" Gwen asked again one hand rubbing her temples, already guessing that today was going to be a Loooonnnnnnggggg day, and with how slowly Quartermaster was moving the chances of food any time within the next 10 minutes was starting to dwindle.
"So it's a mystery!" Nikki cheered.
A large thump sound came from upstairs causing the campers to freeze for a second before Neil recalled Max was still up there, the group following Gwen up the trapdoor to see Max had fallen out of bed, blankets tightly hiding all but his glaring green eyes from view.
"You ok there kiddo?"
"Just fuck off and let me sleep, it's way to fucking cold for all that noise." Max groaned, as climbed back into the bed.
"Max, Max, Max, Max…." Nikki chanted bouncing up and down on neils bunk.
"Nikki, Nikki, Nikki,Nikki WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT!" Max snarled mimicking her voice sarcastically before yelling into the girls ear.
"There's a mystery! Someone gift wrapped everything!" The girl grinned as she bounced on what was most likely Neil's bed considering how close the empty cot was to where Max was trying to go back to sleep.
"If you want to spend your day tracking down some mystery fucking wrapper go right ahead but leave me out of it, it's probably just David and if it's not then its a waste of a freaking sunday." Max yawned burying his face into the pillow.
"It's not David, I had to unwrap him this morning."
"Gee Gwen I didn't know you pitied him that much and also how could you expose all us 'innocent' campers to your sex lives." Max tautened causing Gwens eyes to widen.
Why that fucking little shit!
"Max, You know I'm Asexual after the whole Graggle Incident, and you know that's not what I meant you little bastard, as same the word innocent doesn't apply to any of you ungrateful shits stuck here."
"Stuck here?" Harrison asked fear crossing his face for a few seconds.
"The snow storms caused all the roads to close, David's already called your parents and the Miller's are organizing snowplows as soon as its safe. But we had enough food and fire wood and if things get bad we can burn my rejection letter collection."
Max snorted mumbling something, Neil's eyes widening before the taller boy grabbed a blanket off his bed for Max. Sighing Gwen realized the futility of her situation, honestly if the kid wanted to sleep let him. It was a sunday and christmas eve for fucks sake besides if the little shit wanted to spend the day resting that was a win win. Max got to rest and she got a day without the yin yang arguing of the satan and David, It really wasn't a hard choice so Gwen gave in and began ushering the kids back down stairs.
"Max, Nikki and i'll come back in every so often to chat ok?" Neil stated as the other campers exited the room.
Once back down stairs, the kids were put to word unwrapping the kitchen and pantry. Who ever hard down this had thankfully labeled the food even putting the expiry date on the tag (which they were double checking) so anything they didn't want to eat was being tossed into the roaring fire, that neil used a magnifying glass to start in the fireplace. After yanking out the ingredients for pancakes, quartermaster ditched them to instead cook, the wizened elder even complaining that the secret santa had wrapped the individual eggs in the carton. They were half way threw shredding strips of wrapping paper and sorting the food to be returned to the pantry when Ered swore.
"We fucking forgot to ask if Max did this."
"Uh Ered, it's Max considering how little effort he put into to doing anything why would he do this?" Nurf snorted rolling his eyes.
"Yeah, Max is kinda an asshole. This sort of chaos isn't his style besides, Max doesn't like christmas, you saw how he acted last time we held a xmas party." Harrison just had to add his own to cents to the conversation.
"Language." David called out as he entered the pantry. So far the kids had done an excellent job cleaning up even making a pile of recyclable paper, Quartermaster was cooking, Gwen had met him in the hallway as she went to wake Nerris. Maybe this mornings chaos was over.
"So just what are we doing today…" Harrison asked looking over at David.
"Due to the weather all activities will be indoors today, and using left over materials."
"We have leftovers?" Gwen asked as Nerris adjusted her glasses, the younger girl hugging Mascot the Platypus to her chest, the monotremes laying still in her arms as the small furry creature was mostly hibernating due to the cold and after learning that it was a female the campers no longer feared anything more than its bite, now knowing that it lacked a poisonous spur like a male.
"Morning Nerris." Ered called out with a grin due to Nikki following in suit.
"Sort of, we have a full room full of home ec and sewing supplies between the amounts of wool and fabric each camper can make themselves their very own personalized blanket to keep, we can cut up paper to make snowflake charms and decorations. And if the kids feel up to it we surprisingly didn't loss all of the foam bullets of the toy guns we can set up a pair of pillow forts and run a tactical assault camp. Not to mention the fun we can all have with our variety of cooking related camps." David excitedly explained.
He had had plenty of time to plan while he fought to get a clean pair of clothing to wear, and while Gwen had been dealing with everything in here David had then double checked the two indoor bathrooms. Normally one was for just the councilors but with the weather forcing all the campers indoors, the adults had decided to make one just for the girls. Yet it had been a good thing he had checked, all of the toilet stalls- door, latch, toilet, and toilet paper. Had also been gift wrapped, the sinks, mirrors, and hand towels, hell even the toothbrushes where gift wrapped. The whole morning seemed to consist of nothing up unwrapping things and it just made the young adult feel even more miserable over the fact the campers were stuck with at the camp most of them barely tolerated and that he couldn't even give them any christmas presents.
"Foods ready." Quartermaster interrupted too used to david's early morning rambling.
"YAY PANCAKES!"
"OI MAX FOODS READY! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE AND BRING COFFEE!" Gwen hollored knowing that the boy would hear her.
Max was a light sleeper a fact made hard by bring an insomniac as a result the boy often had dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep and Gwen knew that David implemented a schedule of late night activities to give Max something todo, from little things like star gazing to David planing out late night bonfire singing and local myths and legends storytelling at the Order of Sparrow bonfire site. They were not mandatory and far enough away from the tents that the fires glow or David's normally chipper and hyperactive voice didn't keep the other campers awake. David had also been practicing hot chocolates with herbs known to help ease the body into sleep, Max had only once mentioned that David was literally drugging him but had followed the comment up with Max's version of a thank you, that being an quick hug followed by death threats and orders of not looking too deep into his actions.
Groaning Max got up, making the coffee for himself Nerris and Gwen before placing the non spill thermal canisters into a small basket tied to one of Harrison's scarf trick leftovers, lowering it down to Gwen before falling down the ladder due to the small boys refusal to leave the copious amount of blankets. Max was a real life blanket burrito, grabbing his green canister before curling up in the corner closet to the fireplace, content to go back to sleep after eating as his friends quickly joined him on the floor as Neil dished out a large pile for the three of them to share.
"Max which crucible holds my survival juice?" Nerris asked.
"The blue one with a dent. And will you stop calling it that, its fucking coffee not ambrosia." Max yawned as he poured some maple syrup on his pancakes watching as Nikki cut them into animals she wanted to wrestle one day and then asking Neil what weaknesses the animals had before eating their weak spot first.
"Max did you add cinnamon to my Piccolo Latte?"
"Damn that was an accident, feel free to make a new drink." the shortest boy present yawned out.
"Nah, it tastes really good, can you keep doing it?" Gwen answered ignoring David's scolding on the use of swearing.
"Sure fine whatever…." Max answered rolling his eyes.
The rest of breakfast was silent, David waiting until all of the campers had eaten before trying to organise the first activity, Gwen pilling the wrapping paper and dragging the complete draws of rejection letters carrying them back in with Nurf's help. With coffee in Nerris systems the small elf-kin had perked up, wide awake and ran to the arts and craft room to gather the box of scissors. Gwen had made the decision to start with papercraft camp in order to decorate the wooden walls of the camp, and with the amount of paper they would be able to not just cut out snowflakes but also she could teach the little shits origami, that and with so much it would take up at least 3 hours to teach, do and then clean the mess the kids would most certainly make.
"What's with all the paper." Nerris questioned.
"Wow Gwen is this the all time or just this months cause if its the later they are soo selling you short." Max snarked from his blankets.
"Thanks that was almost motivational Max…" Gwen remarked in shock, wait that was borderline nice coming from Max.
"I was asking about the torn coloured ones… Is this a puzzle we need to solve to prevent the apocalypse."
"Get real Nerris, if the world had to rely on a puzzle it wouldn't be a color coordination based one, however you once again failed a perception check as this morning the entire camp was gift wrapped." Harrison snorted.
"But if it wasn't David who gave me this?" Nerris asked pulling out a small wood carving of her Pikies and Potions Avatar, it looked almost identical to how the small girl saw herself and was position to show she was in the middle casting a spell while riding her alicorn/dragon/horse. The very bottom of it held a 12 sided die along with the words 'keep casting'. "It's a full day too early to be Santa and i was sure his nargles stopped making wooden toy ages ago…"
"So you also got a gift?" Nurf blinked before showing off his new favourite weapon.
"You mean all of you got gifts?" Gwen asked her eyes narrowing.
"Yeah , mine got a little squashed… they where under the pillows." Ered stated lifting the slightly bent sunglasses up to show gwen.
"Heyyy David…~" Nikki smiled deviously causing the red heads atension to fall on the trio of troublemakers.
"Yes Nikki?"
"Can we have a camp where we find out who did all this! PLEASEEE!" Nikki begged latching herself onto David's shirt and shaking him, it was something she often did in order to try to get her way but it had mixed results.
"I suppose it would be something that could keep them all entertained." Gwen agreed before turning to the rest of the campers and clapping her hands together "Ok kids, arts and craft or deductive reasoning and criminal investigations camp?"
Max groaned pulling his blanket tight around his body even as the rest of the campers darted up to follow Gwen out of the room, David coming over to him slowly.
"Hey you ok there?"
"Just fuck off and let me sleep…" Max groaned moving to curl into ball by the fireplace.
Nodding David for once backed off, briefly noticing a small amount of glitter on Max's hand before recalling that Nikki had been the once to clean up the glitter wrapping paper and must have accidently brushed by their dual Indian boy. It didn't take David long to rejoin the rest of the campers finding them all in his still mostly wrapped room, the sticky tape on some of his things had been to tight and he hadn't really the time earlier to unwrap anything but clothing. Thus the kids had a lot of evidence to play with.
"I have found the first clue, Tada!" Harrison cheered pulling out a golden wrapped object knowing from the other campers that the 'gifts' in the chaos had all been in metallic gold.
"Huh so the councilors got gifts too, let me roll a trap check." Nerris pleaded.
"It's a present Nerris get over it." Nurf replied tossing the gift to David who calmly unwrapped it…
At first glance it looked like the camp counselor of the year award but David knew that Dolph had dismantled it and turned it into a gift for his father, also this was smaller and had small cravings in the metal surface as if carved with a small screw or a nail rather than a proper tool the images showing a multitude of the camp activities such as catching, fish, bugs, bears and honey bees and archery and David was fairly certain the stop sign on it was a no refusal sign as it was next to a tiny bomb, the wooden base was also hand carved and thus a little crude, and the silver metal tag screwed into the wood read 'best camp counselor of eternity' on it rather than of the year. Also in the wrapping paper remains was a smaller version of it on a leather cord that could either be for a bracelet or a keychain but David already knew he'd tie it to the cars mirror next to his order of the sparrow medallion.
"Well that's lame. Who gives someone some worthless trophy." Nurf rolled her eyes.
"You've said that about every gift asides your own and Nikki's, give it a rest." Gwen ordered, "You ok there David?"
"Yeah, if there are no more obvious clues on the outside of the paper there might be some on the insides."
The kids groaned seeing instantly that they would have to clean this room too, luckily it wasn't that hard most of the tape was just for show, it was a ploy to make things look a lot harder. It was an illusion that someone had sent hours taping everything together when in fact the tape had been taped together to form sheets cut to size and held together with small leftover tape. Neil having the best handwriting deciding to write down a profile to which Gwen kept muttering over, Their mystery culprit had both gone to extreme lengths to do this even going as far as leaving presents for everyone let alone stuff they would actually enjoy, yet at the same time lazy using davids own naivety and a mild optical illusion to build a misconception of the damage. If david had attempted to cut away the tape he might have accidentally destroyed his own property.
"Ok let's take a break for lunch…." David cheered on seeing that his room was now back to normal.
"Just let me get the fire extinguisher out of my room if your letting the kids cook…" Gwen stated pausing by her door before dropping to her knees.
Previously her room hadn't been wrapped but it seemed the culprit had decided to right the injustice, it wasn't as bad as David's room. Only the beds and desk had been covered, and it was nowhere neatly wrapped either, their culprit must have attacked while they had been getting the bags to clean David's room. Yet once again no clues asides a gift for Gwen, and it was something that the tall woman hid before she finished unwrapping it, A copy of Sherlock Holmes illustrated to make it a BL without changing a single word obviously directly copied from an original copy. The artwork was decent enough and gwen could easily see that who ever had drawn this had been there for the combined Art Camps and would have taken months to make just a draft copy….
"So where are we on suspect pool…" Harrison asked while David organised them for a cooking lesson for lunch.
"Nowhere. Everyone who possible might do something like this we've ruled out and our camp isn't known for its teamwork skills…" Neil replied glaring at the paperwork.
The adults had proven themselves to be innocent both threw physical inability, or their sorrow and surprise at having this done to them. The fact that the adults got hit the hardest was amazing considering that the campers own stuff in Gwen's room was left alone asides the beds, the same had proven to be true for the attic only the beds got wrapped and it seemed just to get rid of the last pre planned sheets of taped over gift wrap.
"Okay let's split into three teams team one will cook the main lunch, team two will word on some snacks for later and team three can keep the kitchen clean and set the tables back up in the mess hall."
"David we don't have enough campers for that let alone the fact that there's two of us." Gwen scolded only to facepalm when David pointed at quartermaster.
"Wot." the old man stated on seeing David guestering to him before the old man sighed "i'll take the third group, but it's your fault if something happens boy."
"David we literally don't have enough campers for even groups." Gwen argued, with their being campers present. Normally she'd drag David aside before giving him an earful but it was fucking christmas and she was only here because the redhead promised to pay her an extra 50 dollar per camper stuck here over the winter holidays. Thankfully the kids agreed to forgo holiday traditions till they were back with the parents because trying to do hanukkah would kill her bank account. Let alone whichever holiday Nerris finally settled on as her and her father would pick a different game/book/movie series unique holidays and recreating it, Max earlier in the week had made a show of not caring and even admitted that his household didn't celebrate but he had overheard that his maternal grandmother celebrated Diwali before the boy shut down completely. Where even trying to keep things as simple as Harrison's Amish upbringing was still too much to prepare and plan for the kids had meant to already be gone…
"We have seven campers one group will just make do with the extra." David defended his idea stubbornly wanting to teach the kids something considering all his other activities for the day had been vetoed to instead focus on the mystery wrapper. After lunch Gwen and the kids were intending to go threw the evidence again before doing interrogations person by person, then the kids wanted to organize a stuff for santa with a note saying to delivery their gifts to their homes, although David would have to double check to make sure they didn't booby trap the cookies and milk…. And what better gift for santa than homemade christmas cookies.
"Hey Neil does Max normally sleep this long?" Nikki asked lifting herself onto the windowsill to glance over at the sleeping bundle.
Max was out cold, something that was extremely rare, laying on his side stilled bundled up in blankets one such knotted under his chin so it wouldn't fall off. Ered being the first to move over towards him light poking the boy with her foot.
"What the fuck extreme sports barbie!" Max snarled rubbing his arm from being kicked.
"Damn, he's not dead, Guys. Sorry tho, I've always wanted to prod a corpse, one day my cool gay dads will let me…"
"Sorry Max, but David's making us cook our own lunch and we needed to be in teams…" Neil apologized.
Rolling his eyes and muttering curses against both David and Ered, Max slowly forced himself off the floor ignoring the cracking sounds as he stretched. Max was used to sleeping on hard surfaces and when it came to it the wooden floor was actually fairly comfortable seeing that it retained the warmth coming from the fireplace. Yawning Max weakly batted away his 'friends' as Nikki tried to 'hug the cute out of him'. Honestly what was wrong with people to the point they could recognize the basic concept of Personal Fucking Space, but he was glad that with the weather being so cold neither councilor put up much of an effort to get him to remove the blanket. Although Max could live without everyone blatantly staring at him like he'd poison everyone out of spite from Ered's painful awakening or maybe just shock that he didn't need fucking David to dictate his actions, at least David had a decent enough memory to not get in his way.
"Since when do you cook?" Neil asked dutifully handing over ingredients when ordered to.
"Since I didn't want to starve to death or be poisoned by this future walmart parking lots attempts of practically pure poisoned food. Seriously it's not that fucking hard to cook. Nikki knock it off and help Gwen with the her shitty cookies."
"Wow, Max this actually looks great, why haven't you ever cooked before…" Harrison asked looking over the smaller boys shoulder as Max multitasked.
"Cause it's me, that would be asking you to stop freaking showing off your constant failures as a magician or Nurf to STOP PUNCHING NERRIS, I need her to be the freaking taste tester seeing Space kid's not here." Max ordered green eyes full of seething hatred as Nurf slowly lowered her back to the ground.
"How did you…" Nerris coughed wondering how Max had noticed seeing that Nurf had thrown her against the pantry door and not one of the adults heard the small thump.
David darting over to check on the small girl spilling out a mass of apologises while trying to chastise Nurf, while Gwen grabbed the kitchens first aid kit rolling her eyes when david screamed girlishly the other campers chuckling. David NEVER learned, honestly if it wasn't so fun to watch him suffer it would be really sad. However at the same time it was a welcome return to the norm, well normal for freakin' Cameron Campbell's Camp Campbell.
"You did it again." Nikki grinned glancing at her new step brother while she stirred the cookie dough.
"Did what? JINX!" both magic kids called in perfect sync before glaring at each other.
"I called it first and my stats counter all curses and bad luck charms, Harrison." Nerris glared at her rival.
"It's under a roof and my cape repels all spells back to their caster, Nerris." Harrison glared back before recalling what spawned this minor spat. "But seriously what did Max do this time?"
"You've both been at the camp all year and you seriously don't already know? Like that seriously uncool in regards of paying attention to others, magic dudes." Ered scoffed knowing exactly what Max's inner circle was talking about, even as Max ignored them all in favour of cooking.
"Sorry Ered, can you tell me now?" Nerris puppy eyed the older girl, showing off exactly why the small girl went by the title 'The Cute.'
"You know how Max is like constant either scheming or showing up saying that what we're dopings going to end bad but he wants to watch us crash and burn anyway." Neil stated glancing at his friend and subtly moving the spice rack closer coming to the logical conclusion that if he kept Max well stocked on ingredients then his first true friend would never even notice they were talking about him.
"Yeah, it proves that Max is a bit of a jerk." Harrison pressed forward as he cut out some of the cookie dough Ered had rolled out.
"Exactly but part of the reason why he does that is cause hes like super smart… like you all recall that tricamp thingy, before David dressed like a chicken and made us prove our love for nature only for the prize to be a bonfire?" Ered smiled nervously as she poured chocolate chips into the cookies.
"Like we could forget the flower scouts first trail over a vat of gunk took ages to get out of my top hat…" Harrison glared as he got the trays and the cookie molds out.
"Last years comp was worse, The woodchucks tests made all of us sit an IQ test, beat a lie detector and play capture the flag for the fate of the camp." Nurf stated carefully moving some bludgeoned tomatoes and some pineapple to max to go into the spaghetti.
"That would have been cool." Neil smiled wondering just how well he would have done on the test.
"Thank god they ran me out of the flower scouts camp before I had to do that…" Nikki added after a few seconds of thought gathering the silverware.
"Max won the highest IQ, thats with what the adults called a genius level IQ and my dads background check found that Max doesn't go to school, hes self taught."
"All that brainpower and he's using it to support the Dark side." Nerris sighed glancing and the boy cooking.
Nerris hadn't known Max as long as some of the others as she came to camp in the middle of summer last year, just after the flower scout cookie sales. However the notion of Max having a high intelligence modifier made sense even more so with how quickly Max could plan things or had the ability to make a rube goldberg machine that incorporated a hair dryer with no power point or extension leads so Max had powered it with a potato battery. It also explained why Max didn't really participate in most activities or at least was dragged to the location began the quest then on getting bored tried to disrupt the rest of them, Max was in his own way rolling to see if the quest was fun seeing that the dice read a nat one before doing something that would at least make him laugh. Honestly it was one of the most realistically believable things for their camp in regard to any of its campers, afterall the camp activities where either needlessly complicated by David's insisting on old traditions and not using technology when possible or where technically super easy yet David's joy and excitement on teaching them and trying to get them all to enjoy the simple task again easily tired Max out mentally and physically. Most of Max's hatred for the camp could just be explained by David yet at the same time Max had eased up on the young adult and admitted that the camp just wouldn't be as peaceful without the living ray of sunshine.
"Neil stop fucking staring and get the strainer, Ered, I'm cooking didn't make not spontaneously fucking deaf." Max turn around to glare at the others.
"I'm not starring and how are the cookies going Harrison?" Neil quickly tried to change the subject.
"Just needs cookin'." Quartermaster glanced at the cut dough before turning his attention back to the probably alcoholic beverage.
"HOLY SHIT!" Gwen swore on reentering the kitchen.
The impossible had happened…
.
.
.
.
.
.
The kitchen was clean, the kid's weren't trying to kill each other. The cookies where in the oven while Nurf dished up the large servings and Ered roller skates each meal to the tables. The tables all had actual table cloths, with candles decked out to make em look as a fancy as at least the flower scouts daily layout. Max who had done the majority of the cooking had curled up once again by the fireplace with his friends and for once shocking moment of clarity Gwen noticed that Max was actually eating. Another person who was already sitting down eating was Quartermaster which is a freaking christmas miracle seeing how often the campers tied him up. While Gwen and David stood still in shock they watched as the rest of the campers got their food and they rather than splitting up joined Max, Nikki and Neil by the smaller fireside table. But at her shout and David's squeaks to find his phone as the man wanted to take a photo of this utterly amazing and unique moment.
"Looking for this~ Daaavvvid~" Nikki chirped holding up two mobile phones on which she and Max had been battling while the others made suggestions to their teams and CP levels and explained everything to Harrison.
"When did you…. You know what screw it. Which of you brats are winning and how long ago did you put pokemon go on David's phone?"
"I downloaded it back when when Preston forced us to do that stupid play, but cause he never properly closes apps and I've been turning it on each time I steal it his buddy is fully evolved and has a decent cp" Max answered with a smirk as Gwen reclaimed her phone.
"Are you fucking shitting me?" Gwen glared at the phone.
"You saw the gym and pokestop? Don't worry every time Nikki and I have the phones we walk all over them. Neil set up the wifi so we could play at camp by taping us into the flower scouts, we had to change your buddy." Max continued with a small yawn.
"What… but I like having eevee as my partner…."
"Awe does that mean I have to give up Lola…" Nikki wilted before showing Gwen the Aholan Ice fox, her amethyst eyes widening in utter joy, before going threw her recent list and seeing the new additions that the campers had done.
David smiled watching as gwen truly interacted with the campers, it was odd to see her smiling and playing around with them let alone the fact the kids where letting her the fact even Max was smiling caused David a small twinge of jealousy before his mind squashed it.
"David does know what pokemon is right?" the ginger overheard Nurf ask Neil only for the little scientist to shrug.
"Actually I do, I grew up watching it on tv and I still own the three movies on video tapes." David answered more than willing to join in the fun.
"Umm, David there is now 21 movies… but what's your favourite pokemon?" Nurf rolled his eyes trying not to attack the counselor again. As part of his new anger management schedule he was trying to keep physical violence down by attacking a person once per-day and waiting two days minimum if he caused blood or a bruise that lasted longer than 4 hours.
"When I was your age I once snuck my pokemon crystal in order to show my best friend my Paras, only for him to accidentally reset my game." David reminisce.
It was special to him, as the Paras in question had more a brown body with tiny cute yellow mushrooms so unlike the normal orange and red that all the other ones had but just when he was ready to evolve his dear sweet Paprika, Jasper distracted him and dropped the console before saying he noticed a glitch and that it was vital to reset or then did so… but when he reloaded dear sweet little Paprika with her cute widdle eyes and sunny personality was gone… Worse, that night there was an isolated wood scout attack in where they stole his game boy and his copy of pokemon crystal smashed up in a bucket of water by the flagpole and instead of comforting him Jasper merely reminded him the importance of having a bright smile at the natural to soak in beauty of reality and the remarked on how many muscles it took to from rather than smile not long after that their friendship came to an explosive end that David had never forgiven himself for. Max opened his mouth to say something only for Gwen to slam a hand over his mouth muttering an almost silent 'Don't you dare.' to their second shortest camper.
It was amazing how easily the campers forgot about the gift wrap and David had to admit it was nice to see them all getting along.
"David do you think if we changed the hiking camps name to collecting candy for you pokemon buddy camp we might get them more willing to participate or is this a one off thing." Gwen muttered as they watched the kids finish off their cookies while watching David's old video cassettes.
They had just started the third movie, just watching as Gwen and the kids pointed out some truly twisted details about the original movies David had adored as a youngster and their words did make him wonder just why these movies had a G rating. After all the first Movie Killed the protagonist by turning him to stone for a few minutes while his friends all cried and his pet mouse desperately tried to wake him. However at the current moment the kids, due to Maxs mild manipulation were reenacting what was the shitty tiny tv screen every so slightly corrupting to the original heart wrenching tale of a little girl named Molly, summoning the dog like god of volcanoes to be her new daddy after the disappearance of her own parents and then the volcano puppy kidnaping and brainwashing the girl actual aunt to be molly's mom. So when Quartermaster interrupted with dinner, no one was really stressed or upset.
So far, David had to admit this had been a good day. The campers had truly enjoyed themselves all day, nothing was on fire, true none of his activities where actually done but instead gwen took a leap of faith by being in charge and steering the kids in healthy bursts of imagination while teaching them all a thing or two. Yet all and all it was days like this that made him glad Mr Campbell offer to help him finish his courses threw paid work experience, although he was a little saddened by the fact he wasn't getting any more homework nor did his cert 3 in childcare certificate had yet to arrive. At least that had better be where the majority of his pay went or else David might just sic Max on his old idol. Mr Campbell was one of many adults who just couldn't see that Max was a sweet gentle and caring child underneath all that bad language.
This time David Managed to get a quick photo of the campers all enjoying an activity, making friends and playing around in harmony while Gwen joined in and they all just had some fun. It was a christmas miracle even more so to see that even Max had a tiniest tiny smile and it was clear (to David at least) that the smile was genuine although it vanished into one made of full mischief and chaos the instant Max realized david was staring at him.
'Uh-oh, I know that look….' David gulped as Max at first glance continued to play with the other campers, Gwen foolishly falling for an obvious trap.
"NOW!" Ered shouted as the reenactment of a classic movie ended and instead they got a return of riot control camp and revolution camp.
Barely ten minutes later the three adults found themselves tied upside to the fan, and david had to admit their teamwork in regards to over throwing them was getting faster and more dangerous, as Harrison's fire trick had grown more refined and controlled but at least he now knew all of the campers had been paying attention to knot tying camp and in historical reenactment camp.
"Nurf Don't you fucking dare!" Gwen snarled as the camps only other ginger made his way over to the fans on switch, her word causing both Nikki and Neil to giggle while max reclaimed the phones.
Ered chuckled hi-fiving Max. Today truly was a good day. So far all of his plans had worked perfectly, everyone had been entertained. True Max hadn't expected the rest of the campers to be stuck another night here yet it had made things a little easier not to mention it was always fun to watch david pale in fear before squirming along with having the bonus of the other campers actually following orders for fucking once. Nurf ended up accidentally letting them down at 10:50 when the bully turned the fan up to high causing the rope holding the adults to snap, the group scattered but even ered who was still wearing her roller skates was no matching in the speed of a furious and nauseated Gwen.
"Bed. Now." the woman stated firmly after rounding them all up.
The fun successfully killed, the kids obeyed after all winter holidays belonged to everyone including adults. Nerris and Nikki mucking about briefly, with Nerris 'turning Nikki into a feral wolf' and the greenette trying to bite the others, utterly covering those in the bathroom with toothpaste. While Max who had guessed what would occur waited outside , the dual Indian boy patiently the rest to start heading off the their rooms while he sat petting Mascot. Before going into to do the same the small boy glancing at Nikki who winked at him before racing to catch up to her idol. It was amazing how well his friend knew him, Neil had subtly questioned him when he first came downstairs for breakfast and now Nikki two had caught on. Not that it was that hard to notice yet at the same time Max had truly enjoyed the fact that next to noone or at very least no one important had caught on.
'Damn her instincts are getting sharper.' Max noted with a tiny smile, to be completely honest Max was proud that Nikki was finally proving herself as a mastermind in manipulation rather than just a lackey. So had Neil, both of them were becoming more social more aware of their situations and Max had to admit they had changed him to. Last year if the camp was gonna be shut down he would have laughed probably egged David and Gwen's cars then taken off to live on the streets because there was no way in he'd willingly return to what he survived with. But that's another story.
"Max are you coming upstairs?" Neil asked as Nurf dangled him out of the trapdoor.
The scientist knowing to remain still so the other boy didn't drop him, while his blue eyes remaining focused on his friend who was now looking up at him from the fireplace. Max shook his head, honestly there was no point trying to rest this early in the night not to mention how uncomfortable it would be. It didn't take long for Nurf to get bored and pull Neil back up into the attic and not long after Max could hear Harrison and the other two playing go fish. With the mess hall empty Max finally took off the blanket he had insisted on wearing all day, before trying once again to remove the annoying green press on bow that had gotten caught in his hair. The plan had been to stick the blasted thing on the wrapping paper covering each door, but it had fallen off the Davids door and got caught in his black hair. His earlier attempts to remove it had only gotten the staple holding the double sided tape to get tangled as well, the now mangled shiny ribbon wedged above his ear like a girl.
"So it was you, huh Max." David grinned from the doorway trying not to laugh when Max jumped like a scared kitten before his gorgeous green eyes narrowed into twin dots of rage.
"FUCKING CHRIST DAVID!"
"You want some helping getting rid of that?" David tried really really hard not to chuckle but he couldn't stop the grin on his face.
It was one of the few things from having Max as a camper for so many years after a while, after a while some of his antics became predictable. If only because David constantly looked for them, their last two attempts of celebrating a winter holiday Max had claimed to not care or had targeted his friends to ask Why did They care. It was something Max did often and something David recalled doing himself as a child, Making a show of not caring pretending not to care to be above all that 'kid stuff'. Which logical meant Max cared.
"Screw you." Max hissed trying to ignore his blush of pure embarrassment of getting caught, mentally blaming the now non existent roaring fire and the blanket he had been wearing all day.
"Language, I won't tell anyone you secretly love christmas Max. I get it, This how you enjoy the holiday."
"What gave it away Camp man." Max frowned not liking the fact that David had learnt over the 5 years worth of camp how to see right thru him half the time.
"Firstly you made a big deal earlier in the year when Nikki and then Neil wanted to share a holiday with us all. But this time it was your lack of participation."
"My what?" Max hissed sitting down at one of the tables and indicating to his hair letting David attempt to remove the stupid bow.
"You were the only one not there at each mass wrapping, the stuff to wrap Gwen's room was left out here alone with you. Showing off a superb amount of recycling but due to that your arm got some glitter on them and you were the only one to not receive something you knew each of us wanted." David smiled down at the boy.
"And what makes you say that Camp Man."
"You knew how much I wanted the camp counselor of the year award and I had noticed that despite Dolph having already gone home we were missing art supplies, and the amount of effort you went threw for Nerris and Harrison would explain why we had several mini blackouts last week although you really shouldn't use power tools without proper safety equipment and an adult present." David lectured gently prying loose the bow.
"Let me Clarify, Davey. What makes you think that I didn't get what I wanted." Max smirked his smile growing when David blinked in confusion, since when did Max learn his childhood nickname let alone explain his plans all while looking so gosh darn cute doing so. "Because I got plenty, I got a sunday of relaxation, a day at this worthless excuse of a camp without any camp activities, I got to watch everyone run around like utter idiots…" Max trailed off.
"And got to see everyone else enjoy your heartwork and treasure the present you made for them. But your going to deny this. Aren't you." David grinned, Mentally jumping up and down over the fact Max had activity participated not only in an a camp activity but opened his heart to the other campers in order to get everyone what they wanted.
"Sshut up. My thing is not giving a flying fuck about everything and everyone, as far as everyone is concerned I'm too much of a bastard to do this." Max hissed answered honestly his smaugrine eyes darkening in the rooms fading light, which was true he mostly didn't care about the others or their well being yet that didn't mean he couldn't do something nice.
"Welp I had better gather up all this paper and put it in the store room for any future paper mache projects. That is if your not planning to wrap anything else for christmas?" David asked actually curious to hear an answer only for the smoll angry bean to kick him.
"Have a fucking merry christmas or whatever fucking winter festival you celebrate." Max instead replied giving the camp Man a tiny three second hug before racing up into the attic before David could do anything. Smiling merrily David put away all of the paper before realizing why Max had not stated his normal 'don't think too deeply into this' line after a hug only for the ginger to realize that Max had taken both his phone and wallet this time. Shaking his head David knew that Max truly had gotten what he wanted for christmas.
But all in all So had he.
Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Merry Yuletide, and enjoy the festive seasons between all religions or fictional December based holiday your family celebrates. We hope you enjoyed this christmas themed mini fan fic of the Rooster teeth Show Camp Camp. If you enjoyed please come back soon as we will be posting another Camp Camp fanfiction called "A Bright Smile of Nature".