Disclaimer: I own nothing but the characters I create. Everything belongs to ASP.
Summary: She wasn't that strong. She had finally reached her breaking point, and it was He amongst all of them who broke her.
Rating: M
Spoilers: Up to the 6th season finale.
AN: This is a sad story.
AN2: Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry! I wrote this a while ago, and since it was almost finished, I decided to publish it. I know it will feel OOC for Lorelai. I found it while working on another one that will hopefully have a less depressing ending. And since it contrasts with ALLD, I might be able to produce a new chapter on that story after that (sorry, sorry) lengthy hiatus.
AN3: If you're feeling blue, don't isolate yourself, try and talk to someone, a friend, a colleague, a stranger on the street, or a dedicated hotline.
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He watched her walk away, he couldn't believe she'd just given him an ultimatum. As he went back into the diner he kept pondering her words. He was bewildered that she would ask him to choose between her and his daughter.
He was still thinking about it when he closed the diner. He went to bed thinking about her and when he woke up, she was the first thing on his mind. He realized that no matter what happened, he could not live without her. He wanted to be with her, always.
He left Cesar in charge and went over her house.
Her jeep was still there. He knocked on the door, nobody answered. He went in, calling her name and getting no response. He went in the kitchen where he found envelopes with names on it. He looked at the labels. He started feeling uneasy, like deep down he knew something was wrong. There were three envelopes. One for Rory, one for the elder Gilmores and one for him. He reached for the letter adressed to him, holding his breath
Luke,
We were supposed to get married on June 3rd. But it's never going to happen. I know that now, I asked you tonight, and you refused to marry me.
You are the one, Luke. You are my one. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. I don't want to live without you, the first time was too painful. I can't do it a second time.
I can't do this anymore. I haven't been myself lately and I'm tired, I'm so tired of pretending everything is okay. Everything is not ok! I was fooling myself thinking I'd get the happy ending!
This is your way out. I want the pain to go away, and this is my only option.
I love you, and I will always love you.
Lorelai.
After reading that letter, he started to panic, he shouted her name. She didn't answer, he went upstairs to check her room. The sight before him froze his blood.
He saw the crimson on the sheets and then the bottle of pills, empty.
"Oh no, what have you done!"
"911 what's your emergency?"
"I just found my fiancée lying in her blood I think she took some pills too. I don't know what to do! She's barely breathing, I don't know how long she been like that!"
"Ok, sir, you need to calm down and give us your address, we'll send an ambulance"
He gave the address, and then took a deep breath. The 10-minutes wait for the ambulance seemed to last an eternity, during which time he tried to figure out what she had taken, how much and he tried to stop her wrists from bleeding.
At the hospital, they asked Luke about any blood relative she might have, he gave them the Gilmores number and Rory's.
The elder Gilmores arrived first, the nurse informed them of Lorelai's status. When Rory arrived not even 20 minutes after her grandparents, she saw on their faces what she feared when the hospital had called her.
She turned to Luke to request the truth.
"What happened ? What are they saying is wrong with her?"
"I found her this morning, she- she took some p-p-pills and sl-sliced her wrists."
"What ?" All the Gilmores exclaimed.
"It can't be true, it's not true. My Mom would never… No! It's a lie! You're lying! What did you do to her? She was fine last night." Rory sobbed. Richard took ahold of her trying to console her.
It was about half an hour later when the ER doctor came to them that they knew what he was about to say. The tiredness and closed expression meant that it wasn't good news.
"The family of Lorelai Gilmore ?" He asked. They got closer to him, dreading the next few words to come. "I'm sorry that I have to tell you that she died, we did everything we could but we were too late, she had already lost too much blood, I am sorry for your loss".
Hearing this, Rory's knees gave out, and she almost crumpled to the floor, her grandfather catching her before she hit the ground. Emily was barely standing on her feet, and grabbed a hold of Richard's arm to keep steady. The tears fell freely.
Luke was too stunned to say or do anything, he was paralyzed processing the information that he'd just heard.
Richard went to take care of the arrangements to be made, and called a reliable friend to take Rory and Emily home.
In the kitchen of Rory's home, they found the notes. It was then they realized that what Lorelai had done was intended and not an accident. That she willingly chose to end it. Rory sat down and took the letter that was addressed to her with trembling hands.
Rory, my dear sweet Rory,
I'm sorry I have to leave you. I just can't take it all anymore. It's too much pain! I want you to remember the good times and not to dwell too much on what is going to happen now. You're all grown up now and I know you will be fine. It is now your turn to be the reigning Lorelai.
I have been so blessed with you, I can't put in words how much I love you and how proud I am of who you have become.
I will always love you,
Mom.
In the envelope with that letter, Rory also found her mother's will. The pain of her loss overwhelmed her and she threw it across the room. In her tears-blurred vision, she saw her grandmother, the exact reflection of what she was feeling, holding on to the same kind of letter she had just thrown, her hands shaking, her body trembling with each sob.
Dear Mom and Dad,
Let me start with I'm sorry you have to read one of those letter from me again. I love you both, and I never meant to put you through that, but I just can't stand the pain anymore.
I never got to tell you this, but I am sorry we never got the chance to mend our past. I know my leaving was the most unforgivable thing I could have done then. I know I abandoned you and I'm sorry. I thought I had to go, I had foiled your grand plan. I can't say that I'm sorry for Rory, because I will never regret having her.
I'm sorry I'm abandoning you again. You really don't deserve that.
I love you both,
Your daughter, Lorelai.
When Emily finished reading, she hugged Rory as tight as she could, whispering Sorry's in her ear.
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AN: Again, sorry, don't burn me! But please, do let me know what you think.
