Just A Dream
AU
Genre: Angst, Tragedy, sorta Hurt/Comfort
Pairing: Harry/Ginny
Rating: T? There's no graphic death, how the person died isn't even mentioned.
Disclaimer: The song is Just A Dream by Carrie Underwood. Me no own it or the characters. J.K. Rowling is the lovely creator of my play-things; I mean the characters in this story.
It was two weeks after the day she turned 18
All dressed in white, goin' to the church that night
She had his box of letters in the passenger seat
Six pence in a shoe, somethin' borrowed, somethin' blue
She had always dreamed of wearing a white dress, of wearing her mother's wedding veil, and a blue ornate barrette to hold her hair up. She had graduated just last week. Today was the day he was supposed to come home. They were supposed to be married today. She dreamed of spending the rest of her life with him. But she never dreamed today would be like this.
And when the church doors opened up wide
She put her veil down, tryin' to hide the tears
Oh, she just couldn't believe it
She heard the trumpets from the military band
And the flowers fell out of her hands
A tear rolled down her cheek. No, today wasn't supposed to be like this. She took one last look at the old shoebox that held every letter she had gotten from him. The very first one being from when they were in high school. She got out of the car, putting her veil down, and walked into the church. Everyone was there. Her mother, her father, all her brothers, his godfathers, even his cousin, and both of their friends.
And even, yes, they came as well. General Dumbledore, Colonel Snape, and the others from the unit he was in. She felt bitter at seeing them. They were here and he was not, but she knew he wouldn't want her to feel that way. After all, he gave his life to save them.
Baby why'd you leave me
Why'd you have to go?
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know
I can't even breathe
It wasn't fair that he didn't come home. She wanted him back. Why? The kept circling in her mind. Why him? Why couldn't he come home to her? To them. Looking to the men, his Colonel and fellow soldiers, and knew. She saw the men he served with, their families. Neville Longbottom and his wife. Draco Malfoy, his wife and son. Seamus, Dean, Oliver, Blaise, Justin, Theo, Greg, and Angela were of those that they both knew before he joined. Others that she only knew by name were there as well.
Each of them with a family or significant other. That was why her Harry was not standing at the altar. No, he was in a lonely casket at the front of the church. No altar in sight. She clenched her hands together, vaguely noticing that she had dropped the flowers at some point. The tears were flowing faster now. Looking at their families, she held back a sob; she would never know what it felt like. Had it really only been five months since he held her one last time?
It's like I'm looking from a distance
Standing in the background
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now
This can't be happening to me
This is just a dream
She was starting to feel lightheaded. Almost like she was watching from far away as she reached the coffin in which he lay. She didn't hear the pretty words that the preacher said about her Harry. She barely recollected when her brother, Ron, and Draco and Remus and Sirius and Colonel Snape and Neville carried him away. Her father had wrapped an arm around her shoulders to gently guide her after them.
The preacher man said, "Let's bow our heads and pray"
Lord, please lift his soul and heal this hurt
Then the congregation all stood up and sang
The saddest song that she ever heard
They were outside now. Harry had loved days like these. Sun shining through fluffy white clouds and a cool breeze. Completely opposite of what she felt. She wanted it to rain. To storm and be so cold that the pain inside her heart would numb. The preacher man had said something about praying, but she could barely hear him. She was praying though. She prayed that he would watch over her and their unborn child. Harry had been thrilled to find out he was going to be a had told him on a rare video call they had shared, just one month ago.
And then they handed her a folded up flag
And she held on to all she had left of him
Oh, and what could've been
And then the guns rang one last shot
And it felt like a bullet in her heart
Suddenly she was in the present again when Colonel Snape handed her the folded up flag. She idly wondered if that was standard practice, but didn't really care. She was glad that it was him. The Colonel had been with him in his last moments and had relayed to her his last words. As the guards fired the volleys she felt as if the bullets were piercing her heart. How could a sound bring her so much pain inside? Then she realized; it was because it sounded so final.
Baby, why'd you leave me?
Why'd you have to go?
I was countin' on forever, now I'll never know
I can't even breathe
She would never know what it would be like to raise their child together, but what the Colonel told her had helped remind her she had to be strong for that baby.
"'Tell her I love her and I'll always love her. And tell her I loved our baby since the moment she first told me about him. She needs to know that I'll always be with them.' And he will be with you Ginny. He'll be with you when you see your baby smiles the same way when he did he
knows he's in trouble or has the same expression when thinking. You'll hear him in your baby's voice and the way he laughs. I know, because I saw Lily, his mother, in Harry every time I saw him. It doesn't make the pain of loss go away, but it helps."
It's like I'm lookin' from a distance, standin' in the background
Everybody's sayin', he's not comin' home now
This can't be happenin' to me
This is just a dream
And when they handed her a little blue blanket months later, she realized the Colonel was right. Same nose and ears and lips. And when he smiled for the first time, then his laugh. She noticed Harry in their son everyday and every day the pain healed a little bit.
AN: Whew. I couldn't go to sleep until I finished this. So, what brought this on while I have yet to update my other fic? Beats me I just heard this song on the way home and the thought just played out. And I know this is Harry/Ginny while my other fic is Severus/Harry, but I go back and forth. You're not likely to find any long fics of mine with straight pairings. I don't know why, it just doesn't come to me as easily as slash fics.
Now for explanations in the story: I live in the U.S. so it's according to their military structure for the most part. I used Wikipedia and I know I could've looked up U.K. structure there too, but I don't know much about the inner workings of the military for my own country, I'm not about to confuse myself further. Also, I don't know if military widows and widowers are given flags in other countries or not, but it's in the song and it's what U.S. military does. I made Snape a Colonel because he's pretty high up within the chain of command to me. In canon he knows a lot of what Dumbledore is planning, but not everything. Colonels also aren't the leaders for a squad, they command a regiment(which is about 1,000-3,000 soldiers). But in my little head he was a close friend/mentor to Harry as well as caring for his mother.
Geez I'm rambling a lot. To be straight (no pun intended) Harry proposed to Ginny before he left for service. Well that's about it.
