Copyright: I do not own the song "The way she feels" by Between the Trees nor do I own Cause of death.
:)
Authors note; this may seem very OOC from the Natara that we know of normally. We normally know Natara as the smart, collected, and calm one, right? But it's even been mentioned in the game, after the first time Shawn supposedly died, that she simply wrapped up her emotions and kept them under lock and key. But what would happen if something was to say, trigger, the box of years of emotions? And what would happen if she had an unknown past, a past that only her mother and sister knew about when she was a teenager?
okay I'll shut up now, enjoy. :)
She's upset
Bad day
Heads for the dresser drawer to
Drive her pain away
Nothing good can come of this.
She opens it there's nothing
There is only left over tears
Mom and dad had no right she screams
As the anger runs down both of her cheeks.
She hated him. She hated her father. Just when they repaired their broken relationship, they had another fight. And the worst part? Her mom took her dad's side. She had enough of this bull shit.
Then she closed her eyes
Found relief in a knife
The blood flows as she cries
She didn't want to start doing it again. She knew it was a hard addiction to give up, she still has a few scars on her fore arms, from when she had depression as a teen. very faded, no one could see them unless they knew to look for them and were literally an inch away from her arm, but they were still there. But her emotions got the best of her, and she squeezed her eyes shut and pressed the blade to her skin, as fresh blood poured out from the new wounds. She let hot tears roll down her cheeks, and she pressed the blade down harder in her rage.
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
Bite the lip, just forget the bleeding
She felt to alone. The only real family she had was Neha, and Neha wasn't even nearby. She always has Mal, but he's her best friend and doesn't even know about her old habits. And she wasn't sure if she wanted him to know.
Then she closed her eyes
Found relief in a knife
The blood flows as she cries
Woah, oh
Then she closed her eyes
Found relief in a knife
The blood flows as she cries
Once again her mind goes back to the argument she had with her Father, just hours before. And just when she thought her rage was gone, it came back, 10 X worse. She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket, and for a quick second she let go of the knife and read the text. She had received five text messages from Mal. Mal knew Nat and her dad had a fight, and Mal being Mal, was of course worried about her emotional state. The latest text was sent three minutes ago, " I'm on my way over whether you like it or not, I need to make sure you're all right, you seemed really upset at work. I'll be there in ten minutes. -Mal F."
Natara paused for a moment, but then the rage grew inside of her and she grabbed the knife again and pressed down on her wrist. Then she looked over and saw a picture of herself, Neha, her mom, and HIM. In a final fit of rage, she grabbed the picture and threw it against the wall, smashing it.
Curled up she's on the floor
Relief left her she had hoped for something more
From it (hoped for something more)
From it
Exhausted, upset, and totally emotional, Natara collapses onto the floor. In the back of her mind, she hears a door opening. And here's Mal's beautiful voice.
He leans down to comfort her
She is weeping and He
Wraps His arms around
And around and around and...
[2x]
The deeper you cut
The deeper I hurt
The deeper you cut
It only gets worse
Gets worse
Her eyes are squeezed shut, she didn't want Mal to see her like this. She thought he would hate her. Or think she's mentally unstable or something. Or he might just yell at her for being stupid. But he surprised her. She felt his strong arms wrapping around her, felt him lean close to her, and whisper in her ear, " Please don't. Please. Natara, I love you, and the deeper you cut, the deeper I hurt. It hurts me because I feel like it's my fault you have so many mixed up emotions that you need to let out but I never let you. Please don't cut, because the deeper you cut, it will only get worse. I love you, Please stop. Please let go of the knife."
Now she's slowly opening...
Yeah she's slowly opening
New eyes...
Something in his voice made her realize the sincerity and the complete honesty and love behind it. He meant it. He loved her. And she loves him too, he just never knew.
She opened her eyes
And found relief in His life
And put down her knives
Slowly, she opened her eyes, and looked up into Mal's deep cerulean eyes. And whispered back, " I love you, too." And when he smiled at her, she slowly let go of her blood stained knife.
She opened her life
And found relief through His eyes
And put down
She put down her knife
Now they've been dating for 4 months and three days. and they've been engaged for a week and two days. Whenever she feels upset, she just thinks about Mal, not the knife, and it helps her, more than that wicked knife ever will.
The End!
Endnote: I was taking a huge risk into posting this, because it might hit close to home to some people, ( including myself.) Cutting isn't the answer, no matter how depressed or upset you're feeling, believe me when I say, it's not worth it. Find something or someone to turn to instead of the knife, because believe me, it works. :)
Sorry for any Typos, grammar errors, ect. I just typed this on my iPhone and I legit just typed this whole thing up in 10 minutes. yay? new record?
Please Please Please review with a cherry on top?
-Diamond