It was Harry's favorite time. That time after sex when you just cuddled each other. Severus didn't always let him stay for this part, sometimes he just kicked him out of his apartment. But now, their bodies, warm and smooth were pressed firmly against each other. Severus had his head resting on Harry's, who was nuzzled in to his lovers chest, breathing in his scent.
Severus had his arms wrapped firmly around Harry's boney shoulders. He bit down on his tongue, wishing things could be different.
"is everything okay?" Harry asked, feeling the minuscule tension change in severus body.
"Harry…" He started, looking down at Harry's form against his sheets. He felt a spasm inside of him, knowing that this would be the last time he would get to see it.
And on top of that, he had no idea what to say. Severus had known this moment was coming for a while, but he had nothing adequate prepared, mostly because he couldn't bare to think about it for any extended amount of time. It was far too painful…terrifying…heartbreaking.
"I think we should stop seeing each other" he said simply.
Harry felt as if he had just been punched in the stomach. He had not seen this coming, in fact he thought what he had with Severus was as close to perfect as was humanly possible. Immediately he sprang up, looking at Severus's naked torso.
"What?" Harry demanded, feeling as if his world had just imploded. "why?" he was on the verge of tears and it was evident in his voice. He winced, knowing Severus would not find him crying attractive. He really didn't want Severus to ever see him with puffy red eyes and snot and tears running down his face. He didn't want that at the best of times, let alone when he might have to try and convince Severus to stay.
"Harry…" Severus whispered, a huge part of him wanting nothing more than to sit up and wrap Harry in his arms, tell him everything was okay….but he knew he couldn't do that. He wanted a clean break for Harry. A clean break so Harry could go off and enjoy being a teenager, so he didn't have to be chained to the bat of the dungeons for the first free years of his life.
"your just a child." he stated, willing his voice to stay steady. It did, but it also came out as cold and heartless. "I'm seventeen!" Harry pleaded, his heart in his throat. "I'm legally-" "An adult, I know" Severus finished, looking anywhere but at Harry. "All that's means is that I cant be thrown in prison for pedophilia. It doesn't mean-"
"it that it?" Harry asked hopefully. "is the age gap getting to you? Because if it is-" "it's not just that" Severus said carefully. He was terrified of being with out his Harry. Harry had bought light and meaning and…life into his life. He needed him more than he could bare. But he didn't want Harry to end up hating him in a few years because he didn't have any freedom when he was still a relatively young teenager. And plus, Severus knew, to his core, that Harry deserved better than him. He hurt Harry. a lot. And Harry deserved to be treated like nothing less than a God. If Severus could be good enough for Harry, he would in a heart beat. But he didn't think he could.
"What then?" Harry screeched. He turned and slammed his hand into the pillow as hard as he could, It was only then that he noticed he was shaking, when he actually saw his hand. "what ever it is, I'm sure we can just talk about it." he breathed, he begged. He turned back and looked at Severus.
But something on the bed side table caught his attention.
It was a whip. Severus was strongly in to BDSM sex. Harry was, but not as much. He really did enjoy being Severus pet, his little whore as Severus affectionately called him. But he liked the physiological part of it. He enjoyed the physical punishments a bit…but he really only did it because he knew how happy it made his "master". how much it mattered to him. For Severus it was about trust, and loyalty, and a kind of affection…
And then Harry was angry. More angry then he had ever been before. He wasn't angry at Severus exactly, although he was in a way. And in a way he was angry about him self. But he had so much emotion coursing though him, so much confusion, hurt, shock, denial…the anger, although it was incredibly powerful, was just the last straw.
He could vaguely hear Severus saying something, but he just turned unseeing eyes upon him. "Harry?" Severus asked softly. He had felt the wave of anger radiating off of the other man, he had a lot of magic at his disposal, although he rarely used it all.
Harry held his gaze for a moment. Then, before Severus could do anything to stop him, he straddled his "master" roughly reaching out and grabbing his chin.
"Why are you doing this?" he hissed. "I love you." he said each word carefully, as if each of them were important to him. "and I know you love me." Severus just looked up at him, his heart pounding. Harry had never been like this before. He looked…almost feral. Harry had always been the submissive one. Had bent over and taken paddlings or beating or what ever else Severus decided to throw his way.
Harry bent forward, whispering in Severus's ear; "you can punish me for this later". that was the only warning Severus got before Harry started devouring his mouth. Truly devouring was the only word for what Harry was doing. It was more dominant and demanding than Severus ever was.
All Severus could do was writhe and gasp beneath Harry, who seemed to be smirking into the kiss. Uncertainly. Severus reached up and wrapped an arm around his lover.
Immediately, sparks flew from their places of contact. Huge, magical, brilliant sparks of gold and black. Severus froze. but Harry didn't, wouldn't, couldn't, he kissed down Severus neck, biting, sucking, claiming every inch of skin.
Severus moaned, feeling such passion, such a simple animalistic need for sex, that it shook his whole body. And out of him, flew magic. A blue orb ripped from him and gracefully curled around their bodies, bathing them in a strange but intimate light. Harry smiled, without the slightest clue as to what was going on. But something within him knew it was okay. He felt a need inside of him, to let severus know everything was okay. Just as he was about to open his mouth to say god only knows what, light spilled from him too. Purple mist, too light to be called clouds and too heavy to be called fog trailed out of his fingers. Wisps flew across Severus's skin, and he knew. Knew exactly what Harry was feeling, thinking, needing.
And he gave it to him.
It was absolutely stunning. The light, the love, the magic, the sex.
They didn't need words. With magic, Severus explained his reasons to Harry, who understood and loved every reason. Because he loved Severus. Then Harry, softly, calmly, pleadingly used his magic to explain why he needn't need or want anything more than Severus. They become one. Both physically and magically and for a few seconds even intellectually. They breathed each other, fully understanding the others needs. They talked with their magic, almost playfully. They had no idea how long it lasted, only that they were in perfect balance.
Finally, they stopped. The sex was over and the magic seeped into them and the castle. Harry, panting, turned towards Severus. "i love you." He said softly. "I love you too." said Severus, who was suddenly grinning like a fool.
"So can I assume we're still together?" Harry asked seriously. "if you will do me the honor, Harry" Severus said, just as seriously.
Harry beamed and snuggled up under Severus's chin. "I never plan on letting you go."