A/N: Just a blurb. Enjoy and review.

Disclaimer: I own nothing

It was funny how little things can bring back gargantuan emotions, memories. Things that were so buried in the darkest recesses of your mind... only because you had worked so hard to keep them there, to have it ruined with just a simple fact, word, action that was similar to that past. The recent case had brought too many things to the surface, had almost made him lose control, lose his mask. So that was how he had ended up here, on the basket ball court of the high school near his apartment. He dribbled the ball every once in a while taking a shot, never really paying attention to what he was doing, just kept moving, just kept breathing.

You'll never amount to anything, just wait you'll come crawling back.

No. He didn't come crawling back, he stood on his own two feet now, he'd be damn if he ever went back. Stop. Shoot. Miss. Grab. Dribble. Move.

Victim found. Male. Early twenties marine. Possible suicide. The scene had been awful to work at, blood had covered three of the walls, the vic...Lieutenant Myers no longer had a face. It hadn't been suicide. It was drugs, it was greed, and yet that wasn't what bothered him.

"Tony go and tell the parents."

"Boss can't Kate go and..."

"I told you to do it Dinozzo. Kate's busy."

Step. One. Two. Three. Arm goes up for lay up. Miss. It had started to rain, he hadn't noticed, just kept moving. Breathe in, breath out. Move.

The was a Magnum poster on the wall of Myers apartment. He remembered thinking he had one just like it in Peoria.

Quit this nonsense Anthony, become a man already.

A man? What exactly defined the moment you became a man? He had killed, it bothered him, but he was protecting his partner who would have done the same for him. Did he become a man then? No. He became a person with a past. Not that he didn't have one already, it just took itself a step forward.

"Sir, I'm sorry to have to tell you this, your son is dead."

"I don't have a son."

Gritted teeth, "Sir?"

"My son has been dead for several years now." The door slammed shut.

Dead for several years now. Had been dead to his father. Disowned. The rain was pouring now, he was soaked, he didn't care. Dribble. Once. Twice. Free throw shot. Miss. Fetch. Move.

You're worthless to me. Don't come back, unless you want to make something of yourself.

Was he worthless? He couldn't save his mother, he couldn't save himself half the time. He made something of himself, he protected people, he caught criminals.

There had been a journal. Men didn't have diaries.

I was always a disappointment to him. That's why I disappeared, not that he would have noticed he was never around.

Pain. Three pointer this time. Up. Miss. Fetch. Move. Breathe.

"Dad?"

"He's at work Master Anthony. Happy Birthday though."

"Thank you, Sam."

There had been no funeral, the father never even came to claim the body. Bastard. Stop. Shoot. Miss. Move.

Was there such a thing as love? As family? He was beginning to wonder.

Stop. Shoot. Caught?

"Gibbs?"

"Stop, Dinozzo."

He was soaked too. Gibbs cared. Kate cared. Abby cared. Ducky cared. Even McGee cared. He stopped, he had a family.