Disclaimer: I don't own any Artemis Fowl characters, but Artemis (the girl) is mine.
My P.O.V:
I watched as he glanced around, looking for the disembodied voice. "Behind you, genius." He turned around quickly. I suppressed my laughter.
He held out his hand. "I'm Artemis Fowl the Second. Who are you?" He asked.
I took his hand and shook it. "I'm Artemis." I could see the shock in his eyes. Oh, he was good at hiding it, but I was better.
Suddenly a ball of blue light appeared and two voices could be heard. "I own the ocean, not you."
"You don't own anything but your tears, seafart."
"Oh, yeah, and you own more?"
Artemis looked at me. "I'm just taking a stab in the dark here, but would they happen to be Poseidon and Neptune, the Greek and Roman gods of the sea?" Sarcasm dripped in his voice. I liked this boy. He was quite a lot like me.
"You would be right, Artemis. Now, could you please excuse me for a bit? I've got to sort this out." I stalked over to the two gods. "WILL YOU TWO PLEASE BLOODY SHUT UP? YOU'RE BOTH EQUAL!" I walked back to Artemis. "Sorry about that, Poseidon and Neptune can never figure out their differences and just live with each other. They have serious problems. And please don't look at me like that. I know you're thinking that I would probably get drowned in the ocean or something for talking to them like that, but don't worry, I can take care of myself perfectly well. And also please don't try to hide your emotions from me. It'll never work. I'm simply superb at reading emotions. You have to be when you cohort with gods and stuff. Especially Hades. He never says a word unless he has a reason to." I inwardly grinned at his slightly stunned expression. Artemis and Apollo would love to meet him. Especially Artemis, who would love to meet the boy who was named after her, she'd laughed her head off when I told her Artemis Fowl was a boy.
She could have come and gotten him, you know. But she was too lazy. Of Course, she didn't say that she was too lazy. She'd said that she'd been too busy turning hunters into animals and stuff. Yeah, right. Sure she was, sitting in front of the THEATRE! Watching friking Romeo and Juliet. Jeez, she actually thought I would fall for it, believe it or not?
So, anyway, they had decided to get me, their 'Earth contact' to bring Artemis Fowl and Holly Short back up to, well, their place. After, of course, I had managed to get them to finally realise who they were, fulfil their destiny and the whole entire time, I had to be there and come up with a plausible explanation for my sudden appearance in Ireland when I lived in Australia. Gods are so helpful sometimes, aren't they?