Author Notes: Re-written and reposted. I had to re-write it and fix mistakes I had found. So here is the new version! I chose to write this because I absolutely love the Civil War and the history of it, mostly the battles. If you haven't watched Gettysburg before, I suggest you do. It's a great, emotional provoking movie. It's based on the novel by Michael Shaara called "The Killer Angels" which I also suggest you read as well. So anyways, this is a long rambling author notes. So uh, yeah, just read and review.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or Gettysburg.

Jasper watches Gettysburg

Jasper sat in front of the television watching a movie for the millionth, no, trillionth time. He had every word memorized, every scene can play in his head. He can smell the cannons and riffled muskets as if he were really there. He was watching Gettysburg, a movie about, of course, the Civil War. It was a movie that made his heart ached, made him cry tearlessly and he would clutch the couch pillow close. The movie always moved him. Always made him emotional.

Perhaps it was because he knew what it was really like. Walking out onto a battlefield, not knowing if you'll come out alive, or in one piece, and being thankful you just lived through the battle, or each battle you fought in. Jasper couldn't help but shout at the screen sometimes, knowing it did no good. It never did any good.

Before a vampire, before he was changed, Jasper Hale was Jasper Whitlock. A Confederate Major in the Civil War. Jasper was breed for war, for fighting, for being a soldier in the military. Then, one night, it all came to an end when he was changed by a vampire named Maria. He had disappeared. At first he was listed captured, but the Union had no Major Jasper Whitlock in their custody, then he was listed as an deserter, but no, the Confederacy shot that idea down. Jasper would never leave, they argued. He enjoyed what he was doing and he was fiercely loyal to the army. Then, finally, he was listed as killed in action. Sometimes, bodies were so badly injured that they couldn't even be identified.

Of course, his fighting in wars never stopped, but he didn't think about that. He wouldn't. He banished Maria and the southern vampire wars from his thoughts.

He watched the battle of Gettysburg in the movie. It was the last day of the battle, the brave Confederate soldiers marching across that field on that hot July day towards the Union lines. He closed his eyes. He could see it really happening in his mind. The smell of blood, smoke from the cannons, the sounds of men shouting. He felt his breathing quickened and he opened his eyes to find General Armistead, or the actor playing him, speak. He hadn't realized he kept his eyes closed for a quiet a bit of time.

"Will you help me up, please?" General Armistead, a Confederate General said, who had gotten shot, laying against a cannon. Three Union soldiers gathered around him, taking his hand, squeezing it lightly. Another bent down to his level. They didn't help him up, they knew it would do no good to move the gravely injured General.

"Sir, could you tell me what your name is?" Asked the one bending down. "Who are you?" The general winced in pain.

"I… I would like to speak to General Hancock." he said weakly. "Do you know where General Hancock may be found?" General Hancock was a friend of General Armistead, both served in the U.S. Army before the Civil War broke out, both staying friends; never enemies. Neither one wanting to meet on a battlefield like today.

Jasper could remember that he had friends in the Union Army. Friends he had killed in battle or captured. He mourned for their deaths. Jasper never enjoyed killing, never liked it. None of the men in either armies enjoyed killing their brothers, friends and fellow countrymen.

Jasper paused the movie and buried his face in the pillow, dry sobbing. This part of the movie always made him break down as General Armistead broke down hearing the news that General Hancock was shot. He couldn't continue and shut the movie off. Why did he torture himself so? Why did he think he could get through these movies without crying. He was glad he only watched these movies when no one was home. His sad emotions were strong and he didn't want to make anyone unhappy.

Jasper rolled on his back and stared at the ceiling, sighing. He sat up and rand a hand over his face. He jumped to his feet, and left the house, locking the door behind him, running to join his family hunting. He had decided that he wasn't hungry even though his eyes were betraying him. He needed the company of his family. While he calmed other people, they calmed him with their calm feelings.

"I should just watch it with Alice next." He murmured to himself, smiling as he thought of his wife. He ran in the direction of their scent. He caught up to them with Emmett feeding on a measly rabbit, looking ridiculously adorable and somewhat stupid. Out of all the things Emmett could've hunted, it was a bunny. It brought a smile on his face and he shook his head. Alice ran up and hugged her husband. He held her close, inhaling her scent.

"I saw you upset. Are you okay?" She asked, whispering softly so only he could hear. He nodded. "Why do you watch it? You know it upsets you." Jasper shrugged and just held on to her tightly, breathing in her lovely, calming scent.

"I don't know, Ali, just sometimes I get in the mood to watch it." He murmured. "Alice, baby, why is Emmett eating a rabbit?" Alice just laughed and led Jasper to the others where they were feasting on more glorious animals. Jasper let go of Alice and felt his mouth water with venom. He was rather thirsty now.

"Go on, go hunt. We'll wait." Jasper kissed her on her forehead and went to hunt, forgetting about the movie for now. A movie he has seen a trillion times, a movie that will always make him cry. A movie that will help him remember his past and his comrades.

Jasper sat in his small office and pulled out his leather bound journal and a pen, and began to write an entry:

They say that over time vampires forget their human memories. I have been a vampire for 142 years and still I remember my human life as clearly as if it were yesterday I was changed. Perhaps I have allowed myself never to forget my human life because I cannot bring myself to forget. If I did forget I would feel like I'm losing a part of myself.

Perhaps, maybe, that's why I watch movies such as Gettysburg, Glory, Gods and Generals and other movies that remind me of my past life. When Alice asked me why I watched the movie, I told her I didn't know, then when I went hunting and as I was feeding on this nice elk, I got to thinking that maybe that was the reason why, because they remind me of my human life and what and who I was before becoming a monster.

Maybe I will watch a movie with Alice next time and explain to her throughout the film, why I feel the way I do when I watch it. Yes, that seems like a good idea.

Until next time.

The end.

End Notes: It's not the best, but hey, I think it's okay. What do you think?