Out
Finn Hudson pulled up into the driveway, bringing his old clunker of a truck to a stop, but leaving the engine running. The lanky, dark-haired teen turned to his smaller step-brother, asking, "Are you sure you want to do this? I mean, yeah, he's not bullying you anymore, but I still don't trust the guy. Not after what he's done to you. To a lot of us."
Kurt Hummel kept looking out the windshield, his icy blue eyes focused on the small suburban house before them. It was the prototypical example of a Middle American home. Red paint, white trim, two stories, garage, deck, white low picket fence, one car in the driveway in front of them. It all seemed so normal. "Please, Finn, I'll be fine. I know no one believes my newfound trust in David, but I know him enough now to know that he won't hurt me."
"But how do you know that?" Finn retorted. "I mean, he drove everyone else away when he was bullying people, and now he'll barely say two words to anyone. What the hell is going on, Kurt?"
"Pah, I've already wasted enough time sitting here while you burn gas." Kurt swung the passenger door of the truck open and slid out onto the asphalt. "I'll be fine. You go back home; it'll be best if you're not here. I'll get a ride home from David."
"What? No way in hell am I going to leave you alone with him, let alone have him come to OUR house, Kurt!" Finn yelled back, concern surrounded by anger in his voice. Kurt was being dismissive again, just like with his prom outfit.
Kurt brought his left hand up and placed his face into the palm of his hand. Finn really was causing a scene. "Ugh, look, I'm going to be a while, alright? There's no need for you to stay here. I'll. Be. Fine. I'll see you at home later." Kurt finished the conversation by slamming closed the passenger door of the old truck. Finn looked out the window exasperated at his brother, but Kurt had already turned away and was heading to the front door of the house.
Finn still only trusted Karofsky as far as he could throw him, so as he pulled away, he drove just out of sight over the hill and stopped there, waiting for Kurt. There'd be hell to pay if his brother was hurt again.
David Karofsky was up in his room, sitting at his desk studying for the upcoming finals. Currently, the subject was calculus. Previously it was Latin, and before that chemistry. With everything that had happened during the school year, the stocky, dark-haired jock had a lot of catching up to do. Dave had lifted his head as he heard Hudson outside yelling at his brother. He was also wondering why Kurt would even come here. He certainly couldn't blame Hudson for being upset.
Dave sighed, then steeled himself, before heading out into the upstairs hall. He stopped just out of sight at the top of the stairs. He heard the doorbell ring, and his father answering the door. "Mr. Hummel, this is a surprise. I wouldn't have expected to see you here. Please, come in," the larger man offered to the unexpected guest. "David is upstairs studying," he explained. "DAVID! You have a visitor," the elder Karofsky yelled to his son, telling him to come downstairs.
Kurt winced momentarily at the yell. While the glee club certainly had people with powerful lungs, he usually didn't have someone bellow right next to him with such a deep voice. Mr. Karofsky noted the young man's start, and apologized, "I'm sorry, Kurt; I'm not accustomed to visitors stopping by to visit David. Is…is everything OK with my son?" Paul Karofsky asked, heartache in his voice, as well as shame.
Kurt raised an eyebrow, then sighed. So David still hadn't said anything yet.
"I can tell something's wrong, but he won't say anything to me. Even when I ask he brushes me off. All he's been doing is keeping to himself in his room, studying. Ever since he returned from the prom practically in tears, he's been really quiet. I just…I'm worried about him, and I don't know what to do," the concerned father admitted.
Kurt, in a rare moment, decided to choose his words carefully. David had someone right here trying to reach out to him, but the dumb jock was still too afraid to see it. Or maybe he did and that made him even more afraid, for a reason he couldn't begin to fathom.
"It…it's not for me to say, Mr. Karofsky. But I'll see if I can get him in a more talkative mood," he replied, trying to reassure the elder Karofsky.
Paul nodded, smiling weakly, and sighed in relief. "Hold on, I'll go get David. I swear…" Paul trailed off as he trod up the stairs. "David, I know you're busy, but please come down and see our guest. Don't be rude."
Dave fought hard to hold back the tears. Why? Why couldn't he tell his father? He quickly scrubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms; then, he composed himself as he heard his father coming up the stairs. "Sorry, dad, I'm coming."
"There you are, son. Kurt is here to see you. Come downstairs. You could do with a study break. It's not healthy to trap yourself in your room all the time," Dave's father mildly admonished.
Trapped. A more apt word could not have been chosen to describe how Dave felt in the past week.
As Dave walked down the stairs, his father wondered what had gotten into his son lately. First it was the bullying, and now there was a deepening depression. Paul's heart ached seeing his son like this. Hopefully Kurt could help to open up, even if just a bit.
Dave saw Kurt waiting there in the foyer at the bottom of the stairs. The sole openly gay student was his usual self. Calm. Composed. However, Dave saw concern in Kurt's eyes, and Dave averted his own gaze.
"Hello, David," Kurt started. "I had come over to talk about the PFLAG stuff with you, but if you'd rather not…"
Dave quickly cut him off. "No, I wouldn't." He saw Kurt's eyes fill with disappointment. He wasn't sure if the concern or the disappointment hurt more. "But," Dave continued, "I'd still like to talk, if you want to stay for a bit. I was hoping you could help me with something," the jock rushed through that last sentence, almost mumbling it.
Dave felt his father stop on the stairs behind him. He nearly broke down on the spot. Kurt could see him struggling and offered, "Mr. Karofsky, could David and I have a moment alone?"
"Of course, Kurt," Paul replied as he placed a reassuring hand on his son's shoulder, giving it a light squeeze.
Dave quickly brought up his hand and held onto his father's, not wanting him to let go. "No Dad, don't. I…I want you here too." The emotional pressure was too much, and Dave collapsed down on the step, sitting, quietly sobbing. "I'm so sorry, dad. I'm sorry," he whispered out between sobs. Dave brought his head up slightly, looking towards Kurt. His classmate smiled slightly and nodded in support. Dave didn't have to do this alone, and that helped to give him the strength to press forward.
"Sorry? Sorry for what, Dave?" Paul asked his son, not understanding, but filling his voice with concern so hopefully he would understand that he was there for him.
"I…" Dave started, nearly choking on the tears. "I…" Dave worked his mouth silently for a moment. The words were there; why couldn't he speak them? Kurt started to step forward when Dave put a hand out for him to wait. "Dad…I…I'm…I'm gay," he practically coughed out. He thought he might die on the spot. His chest was clenched by anxiety, and he started hyperventilating.
Paul stepped down so he could sit beside his son on the step. He put his arm around the young man's shoulders and pulled him close into a hug. "Dave, son, there's nothing to be sorry for," he told him quietly, calmly. 'So this is what all this had been about?' the elder Karofsky wondered.
Dave turned towards his father, threw his arms over the older man's shoulders, and freely cried. The proverbial dam had burst, and Dave couldn't hold back the flood of emotions anymore.
"There's nothing to be sorry for at all, son. I love you. Whether you're straight, gay, or whatever. You are who you are, and I love you just the same."
Dave's emotional deluge slowly subsided, and he composed himself a bit and sat back up on his own.
Kurt finally stepped up to the pair, and held his hand out for David to take. The young jock took the proffered hand and let Kurt help pull him up. "Perhaps I should be going," Kurt said. "I was going to ask for a ride home, but knowing my brother, he's just around the corner."
"No, please, stay," Dave told his guest. "If you don't mind. I'd like you to be here."
"Why don't we head to the den and get more comfortable. My back is killing me sitting on these stairs. I swear, the things I do for family," Paul interjected, trying to lighten the mood. It appeared to be somewhat successful, as Dave nodded a bit more confidently and headed down the stairs.
As the trio reached the den, Kurt stopped at the threshold. "Give me a few minutes. I'm going to go scare off my overbearing brother. I'll be right back; I promise." Kurt exited through the front door, off to give his step-brother what for. That left the two Karofskys alone.
"Do you want something to drink?" Paul asked his son. "Yeah, some ginger ale. Thanks, dad." Paul left momentarily. After a couple of minutes he returned with two glasses of ginger ale on the rocks. He held out one glass to his son. Once Dave had taken the glass, the elder Karofsky sat down beside him.
"So, um…how long have you known?"
"That I'm g…gay?" Dave stumbled over the word, still unaccustomed to speaking it with regards to himself. He saw his father nod, and Dave took a sip of soda before continuing.
"I'm not really sure. I guess the first moment I really knew was when…" Dave paused, bringing up the memory that caused this whole train wreck. His chest was seizing up again.
"It's OK, Dave. Take it slowly. There's no need to rush it," the father said, trying to put his son at ease.
"It was when I kissed Kurt," Dave finally finished. At that, Paul could not keep his face still, and he stared wide-eyed in astonishment at his son.
"You…kissed Kurt?" he asked, half in disbelief.
Dave quickly stared down into his ginger ale, overwhelmed by guilt. "Yeah, I did. Kurt…he tried to stand up to me for bullying him. He came right into the locker room after me. I tried to scare him off. But he wouldn't let it go. He got right in my face, and I…I don't know. He kept going on about how I wasn't his type, and started putting me down, and going on about how I was scared. So I showed him. Showed him how I felt. But then he pushed me away, and I fled in anger and confusion. I was hurting so bad."
"So I kept up the bullying. I was angry that he rejected me, but I was too scared to admit how I felt and what I was feeling, so I tried even harder to drive him away. Until I succeeded." Dave heavily slumped, becoming overcome by the guilt. "I…that was so wrong what I did. To Kurt. To his family. I…"
"Does Kurt know?" Paul asked.
"I…yeah, between periods when I was guarding him between classes, I apologized. Really apologized. And he said he knew. He knew how sorry I was about what I did to him. So things are a bit better between us now. And I'm not going to bully anymore. Not Kurt, not anyone."
Paul once again pulled his son into a hug. "I'm proud of you, son. It's not easy. Apologizing for past mistakes and trying to atone for them. And for Kurt to reach out to you like this, it looks like he's forgiven you."
Almost as if on cue, the doorbell rang. "COME IN!" the elder Karofsky bellowed. He heard the door open, and two sets of footsteps sounded on the foyer tile. As Kurt came into view, the Karofskys could see that Finn was following him. Dave quickly looked away, not wanting to meet Hudson's gaze.
"Oh, stop, David. We're all friends here, aren't we, Finn?" Kurt said in a slightly threatening voice.
"Er…yeah…friends…" Finn shuffled uncomfortably and withered under his brother's icy eyes and voice.
"I told my idiot brother that if he wasn't going to go home like I told him then he might as well join us here."
"HEY!" Finn started, but Kurt shot him another death gaze and Finn quickly fell silent.
Paul smiled quietly and got up from the couch. "Would you two like anything to drink?" he offered to his guests.
"Water, please," Kurt replied. "Yeah, water sounds good here. Thanks," Finn echoed.
"Please, take a seat. I'll be right back," Paul motioned to the couch and chairs in the den as he proceeded towards the kitchen.
Kurt and Finn both took seats in chairs to the left of Dave, facing perpendicular to him across the table. Kurt, shoes already off at the foyer, swung himself around and brought his legs up into the chair, leaning the right side of his body into the back. Finn simply sat facing forward, uncomfortably fidgeting behind his brother.
"So does someone want to tell me what the hell is going on here?" Finn finally spoke up. 'Mr. Karofsky is taking a long time to get water,' the McKinley quarterback thought to himself.
Kurt resisted the urge to turn around and smack his brother, but instead lashed him with his tongue. "My, aren't we being a rude guest, Huckleberry," Kurt admonished. Finn at that turned wide-eyed, mouth agape, at his smaller sibling. Dave almost wanted to laugh, and Kurt smiled at the host's reaction.
Finn quickly stilled his face into a stony mask again. "Well you're the one who brought me here, Fancy Pants," he retorted darkly.
Finally Paul returned carrying two glasses of ice cold water. He had been listening around the corner briefly, and thought now was a good time to interject and diffuse the situation before it escalated.
"Now then, where were we?" the elder Karofsky asked, trying to reset the mood. Kurt took the one glass of water, but Finn simply stood up and made apologetic gestures.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Karofsky. I appreciate the trouble you went through, but I really should be going." Finn turned towards the door, but as he reached the threshold of the den, Dave spoke up.
"I'm gay, Hudson," he said plainly. Now that he had come out to his father, it felt easier. And he didn't want to let that secret to keep him from talking with the others. Dave shot Kurt a death glare for bringing Hudson here, but Kurt was almost beaming back at the newly-out jock. Dave sighed and shook his head.
At the proclamation, Finn stopped dead in his tracks. Did he just hear that right? Karofsky was gay? But then, why? We did he attack Kurt like he did?
"That got your attention?" Dave jabbed at his teammate. While he was afraid to come out of his father for fear of losing his love, he still had a somewhat antagonistic relationship with Hudson.
"You're…gay…" Finn repeated back, clearing not believing him.
"I believe I just said that, Hudson. Got wax in your ears?" Finn glared hotly at the Dave, but the younger Karofsky didn't give a response, neither verbally or visually.
Paul held the glass of water out again, and Finn took it and returned to his chair.
"Now then, I think Dave was telling me about how he kissed Kurt," Paul started up again.
"HE WHAT? KAROFSKY KISSED YOU?" he yelled in astonishment and anger at both Dave and Kurt. "AND YOU COULDN'T TELL ME ABOUT THIS?"
Kurt set down his glass on a coaster, and stood up over his brother. Kurt's rising anger and his seated brother made the smaller man appear to be much larger.
In a calm, icy voice, Kurt informed his brother, "If you won't keep quiet and let them speak, I will gag you with your own letterman and tell everyone about your own relationship woes."
Finn visibly balked and the threat stunned him into silence. Satisfied that his brother wouldn't cause any more trouble, Kurt sat back down and relaxed as if nothing had happened. Dave smiled, and nearly wanted to laugh. He looked for Hudson's reaction, but Finn returned to his stony silence.
"Anyway, I don't want to repeat that whole story again, so I'll move on." Dave saw Hudson raise an eyebrow, obviously he was now curious enough to find out what had happened, but he could get those details from Kurt. If Lady Lips was willing to kiss and tell, that is.
"So that's about when I had my first solid feeling about being gay. But I was scared, and I didn't want to admit it, or to have anyone else find out. So I threatened Kurt." Dave put his head into his hands, his arms propped up on his elbows. Finn was about to rise up, and Kurt rose his hand and gave a quick "nnn", to which Finn settled back down.
"I…I really regret doing that. All of it. All that bullying, all that pain. I'm so sorry…" he echoed from his earlier apology before the prom.
"I know," Kurt responded again. "I know." Dave brightened up a bit again and relaxed slightly.
"I was still scared and confused and really wasn't sure if I really was gay," Dave continued, but this time Hudson did interrupt.
"Wait, you kiss my brother, threaten him to keep the secret, and you STILL weren't sure if you were gay?" he asked, his voice rising in irritation.
"It's not easy, Finn. It's a difficult thing to accept. Like Rachel dating another boy, even if it is Jesse St. Suck."
Finn stammered for a few seconds before angrily asking, "What the hell, Kurt?"
"I believe I gave due warning. Would you like me to continue? Because if you do, please do keep on talking." Finn grumbled and fell silent.
"Please continue, David," Kurt said, seguing back to the previous conversation.
"No, I wasn't sure. It was one kiss, and like I said, I was too scared to admit it, even to myself. But somehow Santana found out, and blackmailed me into helping with her prom queen scheme."
"Blackmailed?" Paul asked, disappointment in his voice. Dave felt like he just got run through hearing his father sound like that. "You didn't really mean to help Kurt, did you?"
"It's not like that, Dad," Dave quickly said, trying to not lose his father's trust. "I honestly did feel bad about what I did, and while I was blackmailed into helping Kurt return, I'm glad I did help. It…gave me a chance to try to make up for what I'd done to him. To apologize. And like I said, I'm done with bullying. And it was that relationship with Santana that really drove home that I was gay. I just…wasn't interested, and I couldn't…" Dave stopped in embarrassment, his face turning a deep crimson.
Sensing another opportune time to speak up, Finn started in again, "Look, it's all good that you feel sorry, and that you're reformed, but that still doesn't excuse what you did to my brother, to my family." Kurt opened his mouth to silence his brother again, but this time Dave stopped him.
"Let him speak, Kurt. You kept him quiet long enough. He deserves to be heard too."
Finn was taken aback for a moment. Did Karofsky just show him a modicum of respect? And defend him from Kurt no less. Finn gave a puzzled look at Karofsky, who nodded slightly in return, before resuming.
"You caused us a lot of trouble and pain, Karofsky. Emotionally and financially. Being sorry doesn't excuse you. Not to me."
Dave replied calmly. "I don't expect it to, Hudson. I know what I did was wrong. Really wrong. And I don't expect to be excused, nor for you to forgive me. Even ten years down the road you may still hate me over what happened, and I won't blame you at all."
Finn was flabbergasted. What was up with Karofsky? He was different, and Finn was still trying to wrap his head around it.
Kurt could almost hear the gears turning and smoking in his brother's head, and helpfully supplied, "He's being himself, Finn. For the first time in a long time, David Karofsky is being himself."
"What? I don't get it," Finn said in confusion.
Kurt audibly groaned. "You are so thick sometimes, like Roseanne Barr's behind." The young man tried to think of something Finn's feeble mind might actually understand. He remembered that during the Bully Whips escorts, before the apology at French class; that, David was heading to calculus. There was a side no one really saw of David. Perfect.
"David, what subjects were you studying before I arrived?" he asked the smarter-than-he-looked jock.
"Studying? What does that have to do…"
Kurt cut him off. "Just answer the question."
"Fine, fine. I was in the middle of calculus, and before that I was studying Latin and chemistry. I still don't see what that…"
Finn piped up in response, once again cutting Dave off. "Wait, calculus? And Latin? You're taking senior classes? Senior AP classes?" he asked, truly in disbelief.
Paul smiled proudly over at his son. This was the son he remembered. It was sad to know that all this bullying to hide being gay had caused him to suffer so much, emotionally and academically. But he was turning that around and Paul clapped his son on the shoulder in pride.
"Yeah. I got placed into AP Calc this year. And instead of French or Spanish, I thought Latin sounded more interesting, so I asked the teacher if I could join her class instead of the usual language requirement."
"And what were the grades on your last three homework assignments from calculus?" Kurt continued.
Dave looked aside ashamed a bit, but still he answered for Fancy Pants. "Well…I wasn't doing so well earlier in the year, so one was 62. But the two after that were 87 and 98."
"You got a 98, on a calculus homework assignment. As a junior," Finn said, still trying to wrap his head around the overgrown Neanderthal out-pacing him academically.
Kurt audibly groaned again at his brother. His head really was filled with rocks sometimes. Maybe he'd been sacked one too many times on the field. "Maybe you should ask David to tutor you. Gaga knows you could use the help."
Dave couldn't help himself and laughed at the notion. It was a genuine, happy laugh, one Paul hadn't heard in many months. Warmth filled him seeing his son happy again.
Finn once again was left there stunned, but he finally threw in the towel and accepted what was happening. So this was Karofsky? Who knew? Now that he thought about it, Karofsky didn't really let anyone in. Outside of football, no one really knew much about him.
Kurt jabbed his brother out of his reverie. Kurt looked at him, expectantly.
"What?" Finn asked in confusion.
Kurt rolled his eyes. "Isn't there something you should promise to keep secret? It's not your place to tell."
Finn looked puzzled again, but then quickly realized what his brother meant. "Oh, right, yeah. Don't worry, Dave, I won't tell anyone. Promise. Besides, you see what I have to live with and what hell I'll go through if I do," Finn said, finally getting the upper hand over his brother in this conversation. Dave again let out a laugh. Kurt shot Dave a death gaze, but there was amusement behind it.
"I swear I don't know why I bothered helping you," Kurt jested.
Finn looked at the time and realized it was getting pretty late. "Hey, Kurt, we should get heading back before Dad starts wondering where we've been for so long."
"I suppose you're right. We'll have to go over the PFLAG stuff another time. Maybe over the summer so we'll be ready to start it up next year." Kurt was really looking forward to it, and from what he could see, David was as well. The football lineman nodded with a moderate amount of enthusiasm, a smile on his face.
"Just don't expect me to show up in pink ruffled shirts and bellbottoms," Dave said jokingly.
"Oh god, like I would be caught dead in 40-year old dregs of fashion," Kurt replied, mostly serious.
Now it was Finn's turn to roll his eyes. "Let's get going, before your impeccable fashion sense outs Dave for him. See you at school, Karofsky."
"Yeah, see you two later," Dave replied, getting up to shake hands with his former enemy. Friends would probably be a bit presumptuous, but he could say they were at least neutral to each other now. He also shook hands with Kurt before the two headed off.
Paul smiled in the background, beaming at his son, proud to see him finally able to be himself again. It was a long hard journey for him, but he believed David came through stronger in the end. He walked up to his son and gave him a big bear hug.
As he finally broke the long hug, he told Dave, "C'mon, I don't feel like cooking. Let's head out to Breadstix to celebrate."
"Yeah, Dad, that sounds great. Thanks. For everything."
"No need to thank me. Like I said, you're my son. I love you no matter what."