CHAPTER ONE - BELLA POV

I woke up and yawned, keeping my eyes shut as I waited for Edwards cold lips to brush lightly against mine. Then, through my sleepy haze I realised that there was too much room in my bed and that I was too eyes snapped open and I sat up, scanning the room and feeling a swell of disappointment when I didn't see Edward. He always stayed the night - why wasn't he here?

Shaking off my ominous feelings I got up and took a long shower, then dressed in jeans and my blue top that he liked so much. I went downstairs, feeling disgruntled that he hadn't left a message. I grabbed myself a bowl of cereal, glancing out of the window to confirm that Charlie had gone finishing. After I'd eaten I washed up my bowl and put it back in the cupboard then stood and absentmindedly drummed my fingers on the worktop as I considered calling the Cullen's home number. Just as I was heading for the phone there was a quiet knocking at the door which was strange - nobody visited and Edward always just walked straight in

when Charlie wasn't about.

I opened the door and Edward was stood there, his eyes surprisingly dull. They didn't sparkle like they normally did, not even when he took in what I was wearing. "Good morning." I sang, stepping lightly forwards and wrapping my arms around his waist and snuggled my face

against his hard, cold chest. I breathed in deeply, loving his heady scent. It took me a couple of seconds to notice that he hadn't responded to my embrace, and was instead stood there really stiffly. I unwrapped my arms and stepped back, surprised. "Is something wrong?" I asked and he just stood there, his eyes burning into a second they looked sad but as he stared, they gradually turned colder and colder until they looked like someone else's eyes. His face was a mask. I shook my head, not understanding what had made him so cold.

And then I caught a slight movement behind him and craned my neck round to see. It was Alice, dancing gracefully up the stairs and looking gorgeous in a tight black dress and a pair of ridiculously high heels. I smiled at her, glad to see my best girlfriend. "Hey Alice!" She nodded but didn't return my smile. Something was going on. "Is everything okay?" I asked, worry building in my stomach. Had Carlisle or Esme been hurt? OrJ asper? Or Emmett? Or even Rosalie? I scanned Edward's face, not getting any clues. I turned to Alice but her face didn't tell me anything either.

"We have something to tell you." Said Edward, his voice cold and hard. I nodded, glad someone was finally answering me. "Come in?" I asked, stepping sideways so they could go through the door. But Edward shook his head."I don't think that's a good idea." He was a long pause and then Edward oepned his eyes and took in a deep breath.

"Alice and I are in love." he said, his eyes fixed on mine, pinning me in place. I shook my head.

"No." I whispered. "Edward that's not funny."

"It's true." She said. "We've been denying it for too long. It was too complicated. But the heart wants what the heart wants. I'm sorry Bella." It was like knives were being thrust through me again and again, sharp, so sharp. And then a ripping, an all too familiar ripping as the hole in my chest that had been biding its time

ripped its way to the surface again.

"No." My denial was louder this time, even as I fell to pieces inside. "No."

Edward nodded. "Yes, Bella. You're only human. I was bound to get bored with you eventually." My arms automatically reached out for him before I could stop them but he stepped backwards, smoothly avoiding my touch.

"So it's like that?" I whispered, through my tight throat.

"Yes. It's like that." I moved my arms, wrapping them around my chest in an all too familiar position. Holding myself together.

"You said you loved me." I clung to that. To the memories of him holding me in his ice cold grasp, stroking my hair, cradling my face.

"I know. But what I feel for you is nothing compared to what I feel for is everything to me. You were just..just a toy."

Tears blinded me and I hated that because I couldn't see his face. I swiped angrily at my eyes. "You know what I'll do if you leave." I said, perhaps childishly. And he did. It wouldn't be long before I started

to jump off cliffs again, or maybe even find something more dangerous to do. I swear for a second I saw something like pain in his eyes but it was gone so fast I couldn't be sure and his next words dispelled the illusion.

"That's not my problem anymore. If you end up dead, I'll still be with Alice and Charlie will only have you to you think I would care that some lovesick little human ended up dead because she was infatuated with someone she could never have?" Alice winced and touched his shoulder lightly, shaking her head at him and muttering something so fast I didn't hear. He shrugged and narrowed his eyes at me.

He just didn't care anymore. I was full on crying by then ,tears streaming down my face, my arms wrapped tightly around myself. I looked down and saw that their hands were intertwined. They looked perfect together, like a God and his Goddess. I could never look that perfect by his side. I looked at her, at her tight dress with the short skirt showing off her pale legs. At her perfect hair and her tiny, lithe body.

"You're meant to be my best friend." I spat at her, fury flooding through me. She was like a sister to me and here she was, stealing my reason for living. She shrugged, her beautiful face now pitiful. "I'm sorry, Bella." Pure pain was ripping through me, so bad I could barely concentrate. "And Jasper? What about Jasper?" I asked quietly. Her pity vanished, her face looked like it was carved of granite.

"Jasper will live." She said. I looked from one cold face to the next, both masks. Their eyes were so cold. I nodded.

"Are you leaving?" Edward nodded. "We're going to go up to Alaska."

"Good, get out of here." I snapped. He stepped forwards, as if he wanted to say something but then Alice pulled on his hand and he turned away.

"Goodbye Isabella." He said softly and then walked to the car, hand in hand with Alice. He opened the car door for her and she climbed neatly in. I stood on the porch, watching the raod long after they had gone. Then I stumbled inside and collapsed on the couch, clutching my chest as pain and hatred rose up in me. A million memories played back in my head and I clamped my eyes shut, my large upper teeth sinking into my lip as I tried not to scream. I couldn't do this again, I couldn't take this pain. I wasn't strong enough.