Why were they here? They clearly were going to get nothing out of this. She listened intently to what he had to say but she couldn't understand what he was saying.
It should have been easy to say and yet he could not make those three simple words out of his mouth. Instead he kept saying logical ways of saying it. He explained the chemical reactions of the brain, and the release of hormones that caused the emotion. He didn't want to be rejected because he knew what that felt like and he wasn't sure that he could handle that again.
"So what exactly are you getting at Mr. Castle?" Dr. Freedman asked.
Why couldn't he just get to the point she really did not want to be here. It was not that she had better things to do it is just that she did not like therapists at all. Therapists made her feel angry, because they analyzed every detail of her life and try to figure out what it meant.
"I am trying to say….." and he trailed off aimlessly.
"Okay Ms. Beckett, your turn, do you have anything to add?" Freedman said
"No, I have nothing."
"Are you sure, you seem like something is bothering you." He replies with that all too calm shrink voice.
"Oh, you have no idea."
"Care to elaborate?" He says with that tone again.
"Yeah Beckett, maybe you will like it." Castle says and lifts his eyebrows.
"I think that this is the biggest waste of time I have nothing to say and all he talks about is chemical reactions in the brain, and hormones." She released a breath and looked away again.
"The only reason that I am explaining brain function and hormones is because I can't make the other words come out of my mouth."
She turned full glare at him "We wouldn't still be here if you would just say whatever the hell you have to and move on!"
"Okay, but what if it ends in me getting hurt?" He asks.
"Then sometimes you have to take a risk and go for it, even if it means that you will end up hurt."
"Then how come you never do?" Castle asks.
"I don't do it because I have never seen a fit cause to do so." She says.
Dr. Freedman made passing glances between the pair and finally spoke "Okay Mr. Castle why don't you tell me what you want to say so that you don't feel as vulnerable."
"I think that it is important I say it to her." Castle says.
"Okay then go ahead Mr. Castle." Dr. Freedman says.
Castle turned around in his chair to fully face Kate. "Just promise me that before I say what I'm going to say that you will not blow me off completely."
"Okay Castle, have at it."
Castle spoke very slowly "I have been in love with you for quite awhile now and I think you are the most beautiful, smart, and strongest woman I have ever met, and I am happy that I have finally said I love you."
All she could do is stare at him, she had almost said the same thing when he left last summer and she wanted to tell him after they kissed trying to distract that guard. Now he had said it, and she had promised she would say something but it was like her brain stopped working.
"Hey, you promised."
She still just stared.
Dr. Freedman didn't think that he had ever heard anyone be so direct before. He admired this man but it was not what he was expecting to hear by all means. He waited in silence for Kate to say something.
"Okay Castle let me get this straight, you have been in love with me and you pick now to tell me of all times. Why couldn't you tell me when you kissed me?"
"Yeah I didn't think that that was a good time considering you were in a vulnerable state, plus you were still with Josh, and I wouldn't take advantage of you like that."
Shit, he was making sense. He wasn't supposed to be able to explain himself after that.
"Okay Castle we are leaving, thank you Dr. Freedman so much for your time it has been so greatly appreciated." She says with a slight mocking tone.
"Oh I am so happy I could help, I will sign the form saying that you both have been evaluated to work together." Dr. Freedman says with a sense of wonder directed towards these two.
Outside Beckett's Apartment
"I'm really sorry Beckett; I didn't want to make you uncomfortable or mad at me."
"Did you mean what you said?"
"Of course I meant it. How could you ask that?"
"Just making sure, I can't say that I love you right now because I'm just not ready for that, but I would like to give us a try." She says and smiles at him.
"Good, so what exactly comes next?" Castle says with true curiosity.
"Well you are going to get out of my car and get in a cab and go home, then you are going to come back here at 7:00 p.m. and take to eat somewhere nice."
He looks over at her and smiles and then leans his body towards hers and whispers to her "Sounds perfect to me."
Castle gets out of the car and flags a cab with a huge smile on his face.