The hip. The delicate hip skin. Was hideous. It was covered in large scars from each urge...each attack...each demon. The new cuts flowed over the skin. Kise lay on his bed with tears streaking down his face.
He was so tired of being happy...so tired of being childish... so tired of acting stupid. His smiles were always taken advantage of. Kise could not go a day without hiding his true self. His true beast.
The pain stung his hip as the fabric brushed over it. He felt the turmoil of emotions flow out with his crimson red blood.
'"Why can't I be happy? For real?" he murmured to himself feeling a bucket of sadness overwhelming him. Why couldn't he feel anything but sadness?
Everything about him was fake. Kise Ryouta wasn't the happy guy there to help everyone. He was the happy guy hiding behind a mask of painful lies. The truths beneath it were something he despised.
He was ugly. His inner self was an ugly demon who had done many terrible things. Things that ran rampant in his head daily.
Kise's vibrating phone caught his attention. Sighing he answered the phone with his mask secured to his whole mannerism.
"Kise-Kun." A calm monotone voice chimed from the phone. "Kurokocchi! You called me. You do care." Kise chirped in his ugly fake voice. One that tricked many ears.
"Is Kise-kun okay?" Kuroko questioned causing Kise to grimace as he looked down at the bloodied blade beside his legs. Wiping the falling tears from his eyes and ignoring the painful stings. Kise smiled into the phone.
"Of course I am Kurokocchi!" Kise chimed again ignoring the hollow feeling he now had in his chest.
"Kise-kun is lying. Kise-kun is never okay. "Kuroko stated shocking Kise. Did he know!?
"Don't be silly Kurokocchi I am fine. I need to go now ha-ha. I have studying to do." Kise lied on the spot instantly hanging up. He could feel the anxiety of being caught out as a fake run through his veins.
"I'm Okay. I'm Okay. I'm Okay. I. Am. Okay." He repeated to himself. He needed to convince his mind to feel like it. Kise was always okay. He was perfect. He had everything he needed... Except emotions...
"No of course I am okay." He mumbled to himself while picking up the blade into his hand.
"I am Kise Ryouta. I am always okay." As Kise finished the phrase he squeezed the blade firmly drawing blood and pain.
He relished in the feeling of feeling brand new and strong.