Cuddles
A/N: Hey guys, I was bored and it was late when I wrote it. I guess it isn't properly written in story form, because when I was writing it, I felt as though it was some kind of journal Dallas kept over the years in shorthand. This first chapter here is kind of a prequel I guess to the follow-up story I'm writing now. It will include deeper feelings and more descriptive entries. It's my first Outsiders story, so I hope you like it.
Cuddles
By ali mackie
Dallas Winston. Me. Alone and frightened. Neglected and misunderstood. Nobody knew how I felt. No one.
I was only a child when my parents had thrown me on the street I'd cry for hours on end. Hoping someday my parents would come back. They never did. That's when I grew cold and tough. Cause what didn't kill me only made me stronger. And that's what I was a strong, tough, grownup guy. I don't need love from nobody.
Age 4. In a box by the side of the road. Begging for money to but something to eat. Every so often some good-looking lady or kind man would drop a dime into my hand. I'd thank them and they'd be on their way with their busy lives.
Age 8. I tried to get hired in some kind of store; I knew I couldn't beg forever--that wouldn't work. But everyone said I was too young or didn't have enough experience. But how the hell was I supposed to get experience if no one would hire me, goddamn it.
Age 12. Running from the cops for the first time. I never thought they would catch me. All I did was steal a measly chocolate bar. Was that so bad? Come on. Give a little guy some slack. But no, that was my first criminal record charged.
Age 17. Still running, but not nervous. I've done it a million times by now. And only been caught 3 or 5 times witch was pretty good. I made my living of hanging out with the guys, making rude comments at girls and stealing and running. I still was cold and tough. And still no one knew what I felt.
I knew I shouldn't be living like this and every day I say tomorrow is the day my life will change but I never follow through. Maybe that's what makes me so lonely. Not following what I know I should do. But hey baby that's Dallas Winston. I don't have girlfriends and no one has every told me they love me. I don't let them see my cry. That will only show weakness. And that's not what my reputations all about. I wish badly I could here those 3 words come out of someone mouth. 'Cause hey, even tough guys need cuddles.
So that's why I'm keeping this journal. It's not like I don't feel. I just can't admit to anyone that I do. I figured, if anyone, I could tell a damn piece of paper..