Disclaimer: I do not own Dgrayman or any of the characters. The plot in this story, however, is within my grasp. : )
Warning: Smut, curse words, Lavi being a typical guy.
.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
It's been a while. A while that I've been staying here I mean. The Black Order has been my current home for quite some time. Longer than most places I've stayed at. But despite the length of time I spent at each place they all shared on common purpose. Knowledge.
It's why I exist after all; to be successor of bookman I am to record history. I go where ever and learn from people. Pretend I like them and get all the information I can. Every place, every people, all the wars, all the reasons… it's all the same… though I regretfully admit that the Order has had different accuracies than the other places.
One main thing is how dreadfully close I have gotten to its inhabitants. The exorcists. I don't know why I have; I'm actually not supposed to grow bonds with people. I've done exactly as I always did, pretend to be their friends, flash a smile as much as I could… listen to their stories… why have I gotten so close to them? I don't know but I definitely have. It may become an issue because sooner or later I will have to leave or worse, I will experience pain when they die.
But to be more specific I have gotten close to a certain exorcist here. Well, I certainly don't talk to her as much but she sees me as part of her friends. Her friends that she holds so close to her more than the world. Lenalee Lee. I've learned everything I could about her and it's probably one of the biggest problems about me staying here.
She's sweet, very nice especially to those she deems friends. And that's a big group considering nearly everyone is her friend. She doesn't really hold grudges and no one can resist her charm (me now, I guess.) She's so beautiful. She used to have longer hair before it got singed off, though even when it was a burnt boy hairstyle I still thought she was gorgeous. Her hair now is shoulder length, a smooth purple color. Her eyes are purple too and they're so damn deep I'm afraid I'll fall in. She can have a short temper, and isn't afraid to hurt you, friend or not, and let me tell ya', it isn't nice to take a kick or a punch to the face by Lenalee. She's also stubborn. Too stubborn. It pisses me off a lot, considering once she makes the choice to risk her life I can't do anything to stop her. Then I'm the one crying like a fool when she's returned broken and I have to know how I wasn't able to do shit to help her. She's also stupid… well not like that. I mean she doesn't think right. She'd hurt herself to help her friends and it makes me upset. Why can't she ever think for herself?
All the same her imperfections, to me, make her perfect. And I am definitely way too attached. I mean I love girls, like, a lot. Any friend of mine can tell you. I chase after any cute girl I see. But I can't help but to always have Lenalee on my mind. She can ruin good times with other ladies ya' know? How do you kiss someone while you're thinking about someone else anyway?
It's frustrating. This girl is practically the forbidden fruit. Here I am, right now, sitting at the cafeteria. She's sitting right next to me. And I can't do anything. I can't touch her, hold her, kiss her, take her, nothing! She's laughing, smiling, giggling. Her leg bumps mine every once in a while and I can't help but want to touch it.
She's wearing her average exorcist uniform. Knee high socks, red high heels, and that short frilly skirt. Augh her skirts… Lenalee is always wearing such tempting clothing, things you can't help but to stare at. Her legs are so damn gorgeous and smooth looking… Her skin looks soft. And clean. I wonder what the skin beneath her clothing looks like…
There I go again, having naughty thoughts about her. Lenalee! I'd get the crap beat out of me by every man in the Order if they heard the thoughts I had about her. But they know they can't deny how much they think about her too. She's so attractive… no more than attractive. She's tempting.
My eyes shift over to see her spazz of a brother, Komui, walk in. Talk about the biggest cock block in history. I would know, I record history. He's being all goofy and smiley about her, so damn proud to have a perfect sister, right Komui?
"Lenalee, I need you in my office. We've got a mission for you." Komui says smiling.
"Brother you could have called me on golem, or intercom. Are you just shirking off work again?" She says, raising a brow to him.
Everyone at the table snickers, including me. She's pretty sharp. After a few minutes of pouting, and embarrassing Lenalee more the two finally walk off. Lenalee waves to everyone and that will be the last I see her today. Phew.
It's not that I don't enjoy her company, it's just I LOVE her company. I just don't want to love it so I keep my time around her limited. If her brother hadn't taken her to go on a mission I'd have left the cafeteria, just so I don't stay so close to her.
She's the girl everyone wants but no one can have. If she asked for a boyfriend nearly every guy in the Order would drop to their knees to have her. Of course they'd all have to take Komui's drill up the ass after. That's one reason no one can have her, because her brother is a psycho. The other is just the fact that she's too damn perfect.
Eventually gramps hassles me to study more, so I do, but I don't stick to it. Instead I wait till' the old fool walks off and put my head down. Sleeping is great. Probably one of the things I look forward to every day. Ever since I came to the Order I get less sleep than usual. It's because being an exorcist is so damn busy. But not only do I like sleep for well… sleeping. But also I get to dream. Some of those dreams may involve Lenalee.
It certainly doesn't help that my memory is perfect and I can visualize every detail about Lenalee. The wrinkle of her nose when she laughs, her full beautiful eye lashes… And her soft and pure skin. Skin I have yet to touch. We all know were this subject usually leads so I stop myself before I end up having to find a lonely place and touch myself. Hey hey, everyone does it. I'm no different from any other man…
Except for the fact I'm not suppose to love but I already have.
…..
The next day Lenalee still hasn't come back. Typical, missions aren't ever quick. I decide to spend the day in the library. Allen's probably on a mission too. Yu as well, or he's off doing some meditating stuff. I don't feel like bugging him today (or getting stabbed). I flip through a few dusty books before I hear the sound of a kid crying.
I turn over to see the newbie Timothy crying. He's, as usual, whining about studying. Little brat needs to learn to suck it up. He's a lucky kid though. He did, after all, grope Lenalee's breasts. And luckily Komui went easy on him. It's because he's only nine. Shoot if I were nine I'd to a lot more to Lenalee. Oh wait, if I were nine I wouldn't think that way. Duh. I turn back to my book.
It took me a good five hours to realize I keep getting side track. No matter what I read, how much I focus, my mind wanders else were. And by else were I mean Lenalee. It wasn't always this bad but it feels like I'm being pushed over the edge… or like my cup is overflowing. I think about that girl way too much and it's getting in the way. I stand up and leave to library. Sitting in one room won't help these thoughts… and being alone sure enough wont. It's already night time, I see by looking out a window in the hall. I yawn a bit, not from being tires (surprisingly) but from being bored.
Lenalee usually stays up this late. Allen says it's because she gets nightmares. What's a pretty girl like that suffering nightmares for? So badly would I like to hug her when she wakes from a bad dream. I'd stroke her hair and plant kisses on her head. She'd fit perfectly in my arms, I imagine. Were would we be? Perhaps in a bed? Yes, I can't deny I've always wanted to be in her bed. (Not mine because I sleep on a couch in the library). The things I would do to her are limitless. I would make that girl feel great in so many ways.
I swallow a bit as I walk down the halls. It's making me crazy, this yearning. There's only so much that could keep myself from thinking so much about her… and they are all asleep. And I'm much too clouded to study. It's making me uneasy. I can't take it anymore… why shouldn't I be able to think this way about her? Who says she is untouchable? Well… I am bookman and I can't get attached. But the damage of staying here at the Order is already done, and I certainly didn't ask to stay here. I clentch my fists and grit my teeth. I nearly scream before I see someone standing in front of a door.
Holy hell, it's Lenalee. She's opening her door and getting ready for bed. And from the looks of it she had just returned from a mission. She's got a bandage on her cheek and another around her leg. She turns to look at me and smiles warmly.
"Hello, Lavi. Why are you up so late?"
That was it. I snapped. I don't know how fast I was walking but it felt timeless by the time I got to her. My hand grabbed around her perfect hip and I gripped onto her. She let out a gasp as I pulled her to me and pressed my lips against hers.
It felt amazing, kissing her. It was something I imagined for months and amazingly is was better than imagination. I deepened the kiss and held her closer. My chest had pressed against hers and the heartbeats I heard were loud and fast, were they hers or mine? When I pulled away my eyes immediately locked onto hers, she was shocked of course. I'm pretty sure she'd never been kissed, especially with senior dickhead for a brother.
"L-Lavi?" She stutters.
"I was waiting for you." I said quickly. It was pretty cheesy but whatever, I have her in front of me and now I want her. Before she could ask more I rushed open her door. I pulled her in and slammed the door behind us. Her room smells like her, and it was only intoxicating me. Making me want to do so much more. I held onto her hips firmly and began kissing her more.
Her lips were soft and I couldn't help but to continuously plant my own against them. I left a few kisses against her lips before pulling away to see her reaction. She was flustered, her cheeks had already heated up and were a bright red. She was panting, I must've given her whiplash from all of the rushing.
"Lavi I-I don't understand…"
"Lenalee, I want you." I lift my hand and cup that oh-so-soft cheek of hers. (Not the bandaged one, I don't want to hurt her.) "I've wanted you for a while now."
I lean forward and kiss her again. She looked like she was falling into a daze. I was probably confusing the hell out of her. Oh well. Shamelessly I was taking advantage of her confusion. I took the kissing up a notch as I began to lick my tongue along her lips. She gasped and I took that chance to slide my tongue into her mouth. My tongue invaded her warm mouth and explored every inch of it. I played against her tongue and rubbed against it. Soon enough I felt Lenalee clumsily try to return the kiss. She didn't really know how to do it well, expected. Like I suspected she'd probably never been kissed. I took the time to guide her, kissing her back and tonguing her lustily. She eventually found her way and we were kissing each other perfectly.
While having her distracted with that I slowly guided her to her bed. My mind was running on lust and craving. I wasn't thinking right. I sat her beside me and was happy to see she wasn't rejecting. Though if she did I probably wouldn't have stopped… Foreshadow. I slid my hands up her hip and along her sides, she let out a sigh and I could sense her getting nervous. I left a trail of kisses from her mouth to her jaw, eventually they found a way to her neck. Her hands gripped at my chest and she began to shudder. I licked and sucked at her neck, foolishly leaving marks on her. Her brother would die if he saw them but it didn't matter now. I almost had Lenalee were I wanted her and I wasn't stopping because her brother was nuts.
"L-Lavi…" I feel her whimper as my hands were unbuttoning her coat.
"Yeah?" I breath along her neck.
"What are you doing…?" I'd finished unbuttoning it by now. She quickly grabbed the coat holding it close. She was flustered and she was probably scared.
"Relax, I promise this will be good." I kiss her again. She pulls away and stares at me. Damnit I can't lose her now.
"Lenalee…" I stroke her cheek again. "You trust me right..?"
"W-Well yeah…" She was blushing.
"You know I'd never hurt you."
"Yeah…"
"then you have nothing to be afraid of." I kiss her again, softly. I'm probably taking advantage of her right now. And she's probably still confused. I'm such a douchebag, I really am taking advantage of her. I pull open her coat and slide it off. Then slowly I push her down to lay on the bed. She's still wearing an undershirt and that short little skirt. I swallow and feel myself getting flustered. She turns her head away as I start to pull at her skirt.
Once I slide it off all she's wearing is a shirt and little panties. My hands slide up her legs, I stroke her lightly. They move and rub against her inner thighs and I hear her let out a gasp. She's so red right now, I see as my eyes shift up to her face. She's so gorgeous right now, blushing brightly. She's biting her bottom lip and her eyes are shut tight. I lean forward and kiss her deeply before I let my fingers rub in between her leg. She gasps in such a cute manner.
She may have underwear covering but I can already feel the wetness gathered, she gets wet so easy. I rub against that moist area and were her clit hides under the panties. Her legs tense and she is breathing heavy. "Lavi what are d-doing?"
She can't speak right and I know it's making her feel good. I start rubbing her more and kiss her neck, the sounds coming out her mouth are delicious. She's whimpering and gasping, her back keeps arching and her legs bend. I push one of those legs up more and let my fingers snake under the panties. She's so wet now and I can feel myself throbbing when I hear her cry out. I rub her soft clit once more before pulling my hand away. She whines a bit and looks at me with wide confused eyes. She's embarrassed. I couldn't help but grin at how needy she'd already gotten, and now I can't wait to pleasure her.
"Sorry, can't have you finish without me." I lick my fingers clean of her juices, she tastes great. Lenalee looks away blushing heavily.
"W-What are you going to do to me? I-I don't know how to… I don't... I never."
I give her a bright smile. "It's alright Lenalee, I know. Just leave that up to me, I'll make ya' feel good. Promise."
She blinks and stares at me, hopefully I reassured her. I give her a kiss on her temple before I slide her underwear all the way off. I sit up and begin removing myself of my clothing. Maybe seeing me more exposed will calm her down a bit more. I slide my shirt off and toss it aside, I couldn't help to smirk as I catch her gawking at my shirtless body. My hands unzipped my pants and I make no haste to take them off. She quickly looks away blushing, looks like I forgot to wear underwear. I chuckle.
"You can look, you know."
Quickly I pull her shirt off and all that leaves is the bra, but before I can make a go for that she grabs my hands and stops me.
"No."
"…No?"
"M-Maybe this isn't a good idea…" She's getting scared again. But I'm not letting her chicken out. Not now, not when I'm so ready and needy. I use my knees to spread her legs a bit and lean close to her. "Lenalee it'll be okay…"
"I-I don't know… I-I don't think I'm ready." She blurts.
My hands tilt her hips up and I kiss her temple. "Sure ya' are…"
"N-No I'm not… Lavi please d-don't do this I don't want it." Her voice is shaking and like a dick I don't take her fear or lack of confidence into consideration. I'm running on hunger.
"It'll be good…" I whisper in her ear, "I'll make it good."
"N-Noo! Please- Guh!"
Before she could finish I'd already eased my hardness into her. It was around here I started to snap to my senses. She immediately let out a shriek and her hands were gripping tightly onto my shoulders. I got too hasty, she's a virgin DUH. She's probably in pain right now. I grunt and slow myself as I push in as far as I can go. I then stop and pant over her. I need to let her adjust a moment. Tears are streaming down her face and I'm finally feeling guilty. I lift one of my hands and wipe at her tears, though they aren't any were near stopping.
"Shh shh… Just relax... I know it hurts…. It'll get better I promise."
She was so tight around me and it was torture to keep myself still. She sniffled and sobbed but I know Lenalee is stronger than that. She's trying to adjust. Eventually her grip on my shoulder lessened, I know I'd bruise there. Her head pressed into the pillow and she looked up at me with watery eyes.
I licked my lips and slowly began to pull out; I felt her breath hitch but she held her fort. I then slid back in, pushed all the way to the hilt. She whimpered a bit. It felt so good having her around me, she was so tight and virginal. It felt so damn good. By now I decided it was time for Lenalee to get in on the pleasure.
Since it already hurt like hell for her to have her virginity penetrated I decided an easier way for her to adjust was to give her direct pleasure. My hand snaked its way down her stomach and found it's way to her clit. I began to rub against her again and she responded immediately. Her back arched and she stared at me with wide confused eyes. By now I was thrusting in and out of her in a steady rhythm, pleasure finding it self coursing through my veins.
Soon enough the feeling of myself thrusting deeper and deeper into her was beginning to pleasure her, and I didn't even have to rub her anymore. She was already moaning and crying out. Screaming breathlessly and gripping onto me tightly. Every bit of pleasure she was receiving was being shared with me and it felt all to damn good. She was squeezing around my manhood and nearly driving me over the edge.
This moment was so intoxicating. I'd gone so far and done what I've always wanted to do. I'm having sex with Lenalee, the girl I've fantasized about for months. It was better than dirty thoughts, it was better than imagination or masturbation. I'm having sex with Lenalee and it feels good. We were on fire.
I was gasping and huffing, I forced my lips against hers to muffle a groan. It was getting hot and messy and the sound of her moans, the headboard slamming against the wall, and the bed creaking was deafening. Her nails started to graze into my back, normally I would probably scream in pain but for some reason, right now, it was arousing. She was thrusting against me and screaming my name and I knew she was almost reaching her climax. And if she wasn't I sure enough was. I began bucking harder and harder into her. "U-Uhn…. " Moans were starting to escape my mouth and they were added to the loud noises filling her room.
Finally Lenalee's entire body tensed and her back arched, she let out cry in pleasure and her body shook. I let out a gasp as my body soon tensed up, I then spilled myself deep into her. We both reached climax at practically the same moment, and it felt so good. Panting I rested my head on the pillow, beside her head. She was out of breath too and our bodies were hot. I gently pulled myself out of her and collapsed beside her, not wanting to fall on her and crush her. Then we lay there panting and breathing and sweating.
I was smiling, I did what I've always wanted to do after all. But it turns out I was being greedy. I hear crying. Wide eyed I turn to look at Lenalee who is sitting up with her face buried in her hands. She's weeping and I'm confused. I did good didn't I? Hadn't I pleasured her?
"Was it… bad..?" Embarrassingly I say.
"N-No," she sobs, "it felt good."
Phew. Don't want to live with the thought of displeasing a woman in bed.
"What's the matter…?" I sit up and put my hand on her shoulder. She immediately moves away and glares at me with watery eyes.
"Why did you do that? Why did you do this to me?"
"…I told ya'. It's because I wanted you."
"But did you love me?"
Oh boy.
"Lavi, you took my virginity… It's a big deal! I never wanted to have sex but you did it anyway. I was saving myself for the one I loved…." She looks down with tears streaming down her beautiful face. She's clutching the covers and pulling them over her naked (minus the bra damnit) body.
"You… Love someone?" I couldn't help but to ache at the thought of her loving someone else.
"W-Well… no… But maybe one day I will!"
I'm relieved. I don't know why though.
"You don't have sex with people just because you 'want them'…" she turns her back to me and now I'm feeling like a complete asshole. "You do it because you love them. You make love with them…"
My eyes widen and I realize Lenalee isn't that stupid. I had hurt her, I took something precious to her. She felt used and it was my fault. Saying nothing I got myself dressed and headed for the door. I stopped in front of it and sighed.
"I'm sorry, Lenalee. But you're wrong."
What am I saying?
"…What?" She looks over at me.
I'm talking without thinking now. And my words shock me… But I know it was in all honesty… Something I'd kept a dark secret from the world….and myself.
"Lenalee I did make love to you. I've always loved you and I always will. I didn't mean to mislead you but I was confused myself…"
I turn back and look at her, she's clutching the covers and looking at me. She looks shocked. "Lenalee I love you." Quickly I open the door and leave.
….
So now I've done something bad. I've gotten way too close to her. Something a bookman should never do. But I love her. And when I'm around her the word 'bookman' doesn't matter. But ever since that night I didn't pursue her. She needed time to think. I'd taken her virginity after all. She does a good job at hiding it too. Smiling at me like I'm a regular friend when we are around other people. But when there are moments when we walk past each other in the halls, we share a brief moment of contact. One were she brushes her hand across my stomach when she walks past me, and I'm shivering right down to my knees.
I'm in love with Lenalee, but I know she's the forbidden fruit. But like all the forbidden fruit in history, this one was bitten as well. I would know, I record history.
~PHEW. It's my very first smutty boyxgirl thing. I felt guilty because I'd ALWAYS been a fan of this pairing, but I've been neglecting it lately. I've been obsessed with BakXLenalee (WHICH NEEDS MOAR FANS) and KanLena. (- I ADORE that pairing). Lavi and Lenalee used to be my favorite but now they've been bumped down to "I don't care but I like it." Personally I think Lenalee could be with anyone she wanted, because she deserves it. I LOVE HER.~