Got this idea at school when Refection of the SilverRain89 said something about her picturing all of the Organization all crammed into a small car. Hope you like it!
Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts sadly.
One last thing, I have a test for you. Let's see if you can make it all the way through without grinning or laughing. Tell me if you do or don't.
Organization XIII At the Wheel
"Fellow members, I have decided we will all learn how to drive a car." Xemnas announced in the Round Room.
"Um... What's a car?" Xion asked.
"It's a little contraption that people in another world to help them around." Xemnas explained. "I have set up a 'driving test' for us today. Let's go." Xemnas created a dark corridor and left.
"Oh, this wont end well..." Roxas and Xion muttered.
"All right. Xemnas, you're first." A guy with blonde hair and green eyes in a suit read off a list. He looked up and saw two teens in a large group of adults. "Um... How many of you have a drivers license?" No one raised their hand. "... All righty then... Follow me."
Xemnas slowly followed him. "What is your name?"
"Xavier, why?"
"Ah, you're a Nobody."
"What's a Nobody?"
"Never mind." Xemnas got in the small light blue car and stared at the wheel.
"This is when you turn the car on." Xavier whispered.
"I know. TURN ON AND MOVE! I CONTROL YOU!" Xemnas shouted and pointed at the wheel. He hit the horn and it honked loudly. Xemnas with drew his hand quickly and said, "It back talked me!"
'What is wrong with him?' Xavier thought and said, "... Next!"
Xigbar got into the car and Xavier said, "Why is a pirate taking this test? I thought they steered ships."
Xigbar pulled out his Arrowgun and pointed it at Xavier. "Want to call me a pirate again?"
"SECURITY!" When they pulled Xigbar out of the car, Xavier said, "Man, these people are crazy."
Next up, Xaldin. He pulled out his lances and tried to start the car that way. "Why wont this thing move?"
"Maybe because you're not stepping on the gas!" Xavier said while dodging lances.
"Finally!" Xigbar hit the gas but didn't move. "Now what's wrong?"
"You popped all of the tires and put holes in half the car!" Xavier yelled. "Get out! AND CAN I GET A NEW CAR OVER HERE?"
One hour later, a brand new red car almost exactly like the other one. "Now that we have a new car, it's Vexen's tu-" When Xavier turned around to face the car again, Vexen had already turned it into some space ship. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO THE CAR?"
"It's called experimenting, get with it Grandpa." Vexen spun a little test tube on his hand.
"I happen to be 35! You're paying for the new car!" Xavier yelled. "It just got here!"
"... Do I need money for that 'cause I'm broke..." Xavier glared at him and called someone on his cell phone. "Can I see that?" Vexen asked.
"NO!" Xavier growled.
Another hour later, yet another car got to the parking lot. "Let's see if the next one of you can actually get the car to run without ruining it!"
Lexaeus stepped up and towered over the poor man. Xavier yelped and ran into the car. Lexaeus got into the small car. Well, tried to. Up and down, side to side, he was practically in a box shape when he got in. He was about to get into a more comfortable position when the car collapsed under his weight. "... I lose..." Xavier mumbled pushed Lexaeus out of the wreckage of a car.
Yet another car came, this one larger than the last with a red paint job. Xavier shook his head. "Next." 'Of you crazy people...' Xavier held his tongue from saying the last part.
Zexion stepped into the car and turned it on. 'Finally!' Xavier thought as Zexion actually got the car moving. He drove around the parking lot and onto the street... With a book on the wheel. "Get the book off the wheel! That's illegal!"
"..." Zexion was too busy reading to care.
"Are you listening to me?"
"..." CRASH! Zexion slammed into a parked car and kept driving.
By the time they got back the score was Zexion: 200 Parked cars: -200. Zexion finally looked up from the book and said, "How'd I do?"
Xavier was clutching the handle for dear life. "I'm not going to get paid for years..."
Zexion looked at him blankly and got out of the car. Xavier shook himself to come back after that horrifying ride. "Next up is Saïx... When we get yet another car."
Saïx's glare never moved from Xavier. Xavier kept glancing at him and moving away. He jumped and waved his hand like a ninja and Saïx didn't even blink. "Freak..." Saïx got into the newest car without breaking his glare. When Xavier got in, Saïx was just glaring at the wheel. "Um, you have to turn the car on before you can get it moving..." Suddenly, the car roared to life. Xavier's eyes went wide and he ran out of the car as fast as he could. Saïx got out of the car and walked away. "M-m-m-" Axel slapped him in the back. "Moving on. Axel."
The red headed pyromanic walked up to the car. "I'm Axel. Got it memorized?"
"Uh... Yeah..." Xavier said. "Just get in the car."
"In a sec." Xavier got in and waited for whatever Axel was doing to end. Axel pulled out his lighter and put it near the hood.
BOOM, goes the car! A big black puff of smoke appeared where the car was.
"Is he alive?" Xion questioned. Suddenly, a figure shot out of the cloud yelling "YAHOO!"
"He's alive." Roxas muttered. The smoke cleared to find Xavier's seat as the only part of the car that didn't explode somehow. He was clutching the seat with a horror stricken look on his face. He slowly turned his head to face the rest of the members.
He coughed out a puff of smoke when he said, "Next, and another car."
Demyx walked up to the light blue car that came with Xavier's call. He got in and tapped his foot impatiently for Xavier. When he did get in and buckled, Demyx floored it.
"Slow down!" Xavier screamed.
"No way!" Demyx turned on the radio to full blast. An hour later, the car went one mile while slowing to a halt. "Hey what happened?"
"You blew out the engine! Where are we?" Xavier looked at the GPS. "YOU DROVE US TO CANADA!"
"Is that bad?"
"WE HAVE TO PUSH THE CAR BACK TO THE STATES BECAUSE OF YOU!"
"Nah, that sounds like work. Let's just do this." Demyx opened up a dark corridor to the parking lot in California and pushed the car through. "Forget you ever saw this."
"Um, what?" Demyx pushed Xavier through.
"You remember nothing."
"You know it doesn't wor-" Demyx glared at him. "It does work that way. What were we talking about again?"
Demyx smiled and walked away. Luxord walked up to the car. "Ready to gamble?"
"Gamble what?"
"How easily I can crash this thing!"
"You're not supposed to crash it!"
"You're not?"
"I'm not letting you in this car. Next!" Xavier pushed Luxord away and Marluxia walked up with something in his hand.
"Hold on a sec." Marluxia took out a spray paint can from his pocket and sprayed the car pink. Xavier watched in horror as Marluxia turned the car into a mini flower wonderland. "Done." The car was now officially Barbie worthy. Xavier slowly got in the car and Marluxia followed him.
'I hope no one sees me in here.' Xavier thought. He glanced around nervously and said, "Let's go."
Marluxia was driving pretty well, until he saw a lily on the side of the road. "Look at that pretty flower!" Marluxia opened his car door, leaned down, and picked it without stopping the car.
"Are you going to do that every time?" Xavier asked the pink haired man driving.
"Yes."
"Let's go back before you kill me."
"Fine." Marluxia turned the car around and drove him back. Xavier didn't even step out of the pink car in case someone saw him get out. "Larxene." Marluxia sang. "Your turn." Larxene glared daggers at him and zapped him with her lightning.
Larxene got into the car and yelled, "What the heck happened here?"
"M-Marluxia did." Xavier stuttered.
"God." Larxene bent down to the wires below the wheel.
"What do you think you're doing?"
"None of your business!" Larxene snapped. She accidently cut a wire and zapped herself. "Why that little!" Larxene hit the car with like a thousand lightning bolts. By the time it ended, she was toasted to a crisp, and so was the car. "Now let's go." Larxene stepped on the gas and the car fell apart. The walls fell down, the roof on her head, and the wheels collapsed. She was shaking with rage when Xavier slowly backed out of the wreckage.
"Next is Roxas and (hopefully) the last car." Xavier called over to Roxas while lowering his voice when he said hopefully. Roxas ran over eagerly. The last car on the lot was given to Xavier and Roxas got in. Xavier silently prayed for his safety. Maybe it was luck, or his prayer got through, but Roxas passed with flying colors. Xavier sighed in relief as he drove back without a single scratch on the car.
"Last is Xion." Xavier felt in higher spirits. Xion tentatively walked up to the car and Roxas gave her a nod of encouragement.
Xion got in and just blinked at the wheel. She looked up at Xavier and said, "How do you move this thing?"
"Look Xion, this might just be near death experiences from just about all of your group, but I'm tired and you have no clue what you're doing. Let's just go." Xavier sighed.
Xion nodded and walked out. She stood next to Roxas and Axel. "Okay you lot. Only one of you passed." Xavier said as he got out.
"It's me right." Xemnas said.
"No it's not. It was Roxas." Xavier said and patted Roxas on the back.
After Roxas got his license, the whole of Organization XIII crammed into a van. Roxas was now dreading being the only one who passed. "Let's just-" Roxas cut himself off when he saw Axel pull out his lighter. "No Axel do-"
Boom!
Xavier sighed as he heard the sound of an explosion. He walked into the building on the other side of the parking lot and found his boss, a big man who could intimidate a shark, glaring at him. He handed Xavier a bill and Xavier yelled, "NOOOOOOOOO!"
This was not his day...
Roxas FTW! :D
My friend couldn't get past the second paragraph without grinning! LOL Sorry Sora Kingdom Hearts Lover, I had to do that!
XD I even lost at Xemnas yelling at the car. And I wrote it! XD