Send some of your love to me.
Is that too selfish of me to ask?
Or is it too little?
I shouldn't have taken you for granted.
I should have known you wouldn't stay with me forever.
But did I listen? No. Now look where I am. I lost you. I lost my grip on you and watched you fall into somebody else's arms. I wonder if you feel or think the same, maybe not. Not in the way your acting there is no way.
Even your far away I can still see your smile shining bright, always so cheerful and rarely sad. Your sapphire blue eyes showing your wonderful caring personality and your voice are always a pleasure to listen to. Even if the words that came out of your lips weren't always so interesting.
You were different to the others I had to travel with. Of course, I never regretted meeting all of them and being good friends with them all. It's just you were different; somehow you shine a little brighter than them all. You were a little more caring, always so cheerful no matter what situation I had gotten us into. You always tried to remain positive even though the chances were slim. And not to mention that you always worried for your brother even if you were really mad at him. You're different and I guess that what made me like you more.
But ever since you met him, I knew you had something towards him. At first it was a bitter rival relationship and hated his name and his face. But after meeting him again and again you two got to know each other a little more. You got a little closer until you started to admit you became good friends. I began to wonder if maybe you were more than that.
I was soon right.
After that I began to lose you.
Now look where I am.
Now look where you are.
It's hard to tell that we started on the same path that soon started to split apart as time moved on.
You get out of the room you have been hiding yourself in for the past hour. You're wearing that traditional white dress every girl dreams to wear as a child. A dress you want to wear once and then hopefully give to your daughter when they plan to get married. You're shining as bright as the dress you're in. All your other friends gather around you and begin to say how pretty you are and if they could borrow her dress. You giggle and that wonderful smile comes across your face which makes me faintly smile at you.
But as usual, you never notice it.
You glance over to me and somehow look disappointed. She asks for her friends to leave me and her alone. Begin alone with her like this gives me hope, some confidence to tell her this was all a big mistake, which my feelings are a mistake that can never be fixed. It's a mistake because its hurts that you never had felt the same way for me. your eyes were more attracted to somebody else.
You grab hold of my hand and hold it tight. You look at my fingers and notice a golden ring placed on one of my fingers. You rub your fingertips over it and then into my eyes.
"I can't believe that it was only last year that Misty was in the same place as I'm in now."
I say the usual. I tell her about how nervous I felt about that day. She smiles.
"You two make a great couple. I knew you were always meant to be."
I hold her hand tighter but I don't know why. She looks back at my ring. She looks at it with sadness. Like something was wrong about my marriage.
"I can't believe you would propose to her. I never knew you were the romantic type."
She giggled afterwards. You tried to slip your hand away from me but I continued to hold it tight. My mind was telling my body to do something I didn't want to do. I reply saying that I didn't expect it either and I didn't know how it happened. You continue to laugh. Hearing you laugh makes me feel a little better inside.
"I hope Drew will be happy with me. I hope I will be a good wife to him."
I held both of her hands and looked at her in the eye. I told her with a sincere tone of voice saying that you're a good person and you will be a good wife to him. I also added that you're not a bad person so there is nothing to worry about. By this time I had lose grip on her hands and she quickly went to embrace me. Something I never thought I would expect from you. Soon she began to cry right in front of me. I pulled her back and began to wipe away her tears away so the makeup won't start to spread.
I tell you to stop crying but your kept on going. I began to get confused by your actions. I had never seen you cry this much for a long time. I asked why you were crying. You soon wipe away your tears and answer my questions.
"I have so many mixed emotions in me that it's making me cry."
I asked if they were tears of joy. You shook your head.
"I don't know. I just feel like crying for some weird reason."
I wipe away the remaining tears on your cheeks and smile at you. Telling you that everything was going to be okay and that marriage isn't bad as the news on TV make them to be. She smiled.
"I'm really happy to have a friend like you around. I wanted to talk to mom about this but she isn't here yet. I'm happy you came to my invitation."
Of course were the words I answered afterwards. I added in that we were best friends and was always out for each other. Best friends are such a painful word now that my feelings towards you are a little more than that. You drag me to the couch and we began a new conversation that was filled with serious issues and funny memories to help past the time. Before we knew it we were back on the issue of my marriage and to hers.
"Do you love Misty?"
I laughed and replied that I do or else I wouldn't have married her. I do love Misty and still do but my old feelings towards you came up again as soon I heard that you to was getting married.
"Silly me. Of course you do."
We both laughed. You soon looked down on the carpet before taking a sigh. You glance up at me and ask a question I was too afraid to answer.
"Did you ever love me? More than friends I mean."
I opened my mouth but no words came out. My mind was still contemplating if I should tell you what I really feel. That if I told you the truth we might not be good friends no more or if I should lie to you would be glad and leave my real answer trapped within myself again. Seconds went by I still didn't have my answer.
"Ah, I shouldn't be asking things like this to you. I think I'm getting so nervous that I'm asking silly things like this." You giggled afterwards.
This is stupid. I'm married now. I should be thinking like this. But if only I was strong enough to tell you what I really felt earlier then this would be a totally different situation. The long hand on the clock soon hits noon. The hour that May starts her way to be Drew's wife. It hurts but I know I will get over it. Misty will help me, even though she doesn't know it.
I take a stand and I told May that I had to go now and meet up with Misty before the wedding will start. After I said those words and turned my back on you I felt your hand tightly holding my hand. I thought you needed help to get up because of the dress you were in so I pulled you up. But that was not the intention on why you grabbed my hand.
Your intention was to kiss me.
I had never felt my face go as red as a Marcargo. Your soft sweet lips against mine were something I always lingered for, but not like this. I wanted to let go but I couldn't. My mind was yelling my body to stop this, that this isn't right. But my body was too ignorant to listen. We finally stopped when May broke the kiss.
"Sorry." She began. "I never meant to do this to you. It was I was scared to tell you that…" I placed my finger over her lips.
"Don't be." I said. "Let's just be happy that we let all of that go. We have new lives. Let's focus on that." You nodded.
"Just thanks for everything Ash." You held my hand tightly. "Maybe someday it can be you and me." I held her hand back tightly as well.
"I will be looking forward to that day as well May." And I softly kissed her on the cheek before I let my heart go.
Perhaps if we said this a little earlier, if we only knew this before, if only we knew that we loved each other since we first met, then this would be a completely different story.
Fin
