Worst One Piece Fanfiction Ever

One day the straw hat crew were sailing the ocean. Because that's what they do. They're pirates.

The captain of the crew is a hairbrained idiot who always gets them into trouble. He wears a hat that his child hood hero Shanks gave him and…

…

…

Ah, we've been informed that the readers of this fanfiction are not idiots, and that they do know in fact what this show is about. Hence a long and tedious introduction of the characters is unnecessary and only wastes space, since no one that doesn't already know this show would be reading this.

Anyway, the rest of the crew was made up of…oh fine, I get it.

So, Zoro and Sanji are, like, totally gay for each other. I mean, they're always fighting, and there's all this sexual tenstion, and, like ohmygosh, they'd be like totally cute together.

Right, well they do say that when a guy and a girl fight a lot, that means they totally want in each other's pants. So the same must be true for guys. Except…it's not…yeah…

So, one day this dude shows up on this, in the middle of the ocean, out of nowhere…meh, let's say he was eaten by a seaking, but he got free. And he's all like, "I'm Awesome McAwesomepants. I'm so awesome because I'm a fictional representation of what the fanboy author wishes he were like. But I'm not really the author, so it's not a self insert, because no one could be as awesome as I am, Awesome McAwesomepants."

And Luffy is all like, "Whoah, you're awesome you need to be in my crew."

And Robin is like, "Oh my gosh, you make me so horny, make babies with me Awesome."

And Nami is like, "Me too. Let's go find Vivi so we can make it a foursome."

And Vivi is all like. "Yayz! I'm actually included in someone's fanfiction."

And Zoro is all like. "Grrr, I don't trust you because I'm like that."

And Sanji is like. "Shut up stupid Marimo."

And Zoro is like. "Grrr, let's display more of our nonexistent sexual tension, thereby removing any potential suitors for the author's favorite female character."

Sanji, "What about Luffy?"

Zoro, "Don't mind him, he's just an idiot."

And suddenly a strange new enemy appears, and Awesome kicks his ass! Then Awesome is totally like, depressed because this enemy reminded him of his dark and wangsty past, that was written because the author was teased in gym class. "But I'm still awesome! Because I'm Awesome Fscking McAwesompants!"

And Nami and Robin are like. "Take us now angsty emo stud."

And then Mary Sue is like. "OMG I'm so perfect."

And Awesome McAwesomepants is like. "I'm sorry horny Nami and Robin, but Mary is the only girl for me."

And then there's, like, totally hot sex between Mary and Awesome.

And the audience is like. "Why the fsck did you make us read a romance between fscking OCs?"

And then they all died.