Disclaimer: You think I'd be sat here writing fanfics in England several hours before the first day of year 11 if I owned this masterpiece? please I'd be in Austrialia getting the movie and series 9 filmed!

Right the time is 10:54pm and this is a special treat for Alex (Boogle) after her begging earlier tonight for another Cat/Kira fiction so here it is I started the copy up weeks ago but heres the finished and now posted chapter 1 (And you stopped me doing my English/ICT hw for a hour so YAY) err yeah... read on and review (reads it myself: agh I really should stop writing my fictions at 3am)

Reflections

Flash Back I – Remembrance

Cat laid on his bunk, cradling his 1 week old kitten in his arms, life felt like a dream and for the first time since they lost Red Dwarf he had gotten out his link to how he had coped with Kira's "death" – his folk guitar. He lifted it up and sat it on his knee in front of Dani, he strummed a few bars experimentally as he tuned it then began to gently play to Dani, who was gurgling in delight. He automatically began to play and hum to one of the first songs he had ever heard – "Time Of Your Life" by a 21st rock and pop band called Green Day.

Not many people knew he could play the guitar, just him and now Dani, probably the others as the ship was only small – which was one reason he had never played anymore. He approached the favourite part of the song – the music break – though it wasn't the same without the violin, but he enjoyed it anyway.

As he played he began to reminisce of how he came across the guitar and why…

It was just after Kira was put in stasis due to her potentially fatal illness. Cat had been mooching suicidally through the cargo bays, once he was out of Holly's supervision zone he had collapsed onto the floor in anguish. He reached out and punched a hole in a random box in anger, through the hole he could see a whole bunch of shiny things. He opened the box and lifter out a circle, silver item. He picked it up and read the letters; "D. E. N. V. E. R… Denver." – Odd. His finger pressed accidentally against on of the few buttons on the device, causing a loud noise to blast from "Denver", followed by the words "DON'T WANNA BE AN AMERICAN IDIOT!" Cat jumped in fright and fiddled with the buttons till the sound ceased. He stared in shock, his heart beating wildly. He moved his thumb and found a catch which he flicked. The silver case opened to reveal a shiny round disk with the words "Green Day – American Idiot" printed on one side. Cat decided this must be like the Rasta Billy crap that monkey listened to and put "Denver" on the floor as he rooted in the box full of nice, shiny but dusty things, he blew the dust away from a case and sprayed it with his little scent can that he then placed it back in the pocket of his jacket, next to his mirror that he normally would have brought out by now, though he hadn't felt inclined to look at his own reflection in ages, the only face he wanted to see was Kira's – frozen in a half dead state in stasis didn't count to him.

Cat wiped away a tear and after a moment finally managed to open the fiddly clasp on the case he had claimed, when he had succeeded in doing so he placed the disk from "Denver" into the case and closed it carefully inside, he placed it back in the box and continued to root around, eventually picking up another album entitled "International Super Hits" he after a moment decided he should use his claws and released and flexed them for the first time in years, he opened the case with much more ease than before and slipped the disk into "Denver"

He jumped in shock at the blaring music again but soon found the volume control as well as the skip button, he stood with the playing device in his hand flicking through each track, soon loosing interest in each one.

Eventually some soft guitar music wafted into his ears, he listened to the intro, his finger poised over "skip" but moved it away as words that sounded as beautiful as when Kira had first said she loved him began, he listened for a moment but could take it no more, collapsing on the floor sobbing as memories of Kira and his at that point, unborn child flooded his mind.

After what seemed like hours, long after the song had changed, Cat looked up, his eyes eventually focusing on a dusty guitar at the other end of the room, He stood up slowly and shakily made his way over to the folk guitar, which he had seen in pictures but was nothing like Lister's electric one, he picked it up and looked for the sockets to plug into the mains as Lister occasionally did when he wanted to REALLY annoy Rimmer, but there were none, he twanged a string and it released a tuneless sound.

Cat half smiled as he thought about how he already matched Lister's musical skill.

He took "Denver" the box of musical disks, the guitar and some "Teach Yourself To Play The Guitar" books that he had found near the guitar to his secret quarters in the supply decks.

Over the next few months especially he expended his grief and pain that way, becoming almost completely detached as Lister's pregnancy progressed he often thought of how Holly had conveniently forgotten Kira had ever existed even though she was always there… in Starbug, and Lister, he had probably thought it would cause him too much pain so didn't make that much of an effort to communicate when he carried the twins but after they were born then had to be taken back to the other universe the two had become close once again, comforting each other by just being there to listen or not, however the other felt.

When Starbug was stolen it was merely good luck that he had had his guitar with him at the time but he thanked Cloister every day that he had – he couldn't have bared to have lost his second lifetime and like he would have been dead playing Lister's monstrosity… Not that he had ever played it, he never had the time mostly because he was always busy avoiding been killed due to the other's actions or changing clothes and checking his hair, but then he really knew they were all excuses for not thinking he'd ever be able to play his music – and share his soul in front of another living being.