It's been about a year now since the destruction of the Alpha Universe. I barely even remember how it happened. There was the three years of travel with John, arriving and meeting two of the alpha kids, and then black.

Black, hatred, aggression, I don't know. There are small memories I recall. I remember sending my friends to each of their planets and seeing each of their faces, ever single line filled with the horror of what I had become.

And rose, oh rose. Her face haunts me all the time; that look of pity, sadness.

And now I am alone. Alone jumping from world to world, slipping in and out of grimbark. I can't even fight with Her Imperial Condensce because she ran away a long time ago. I can't even imagine where.

"oh god.." I mumbled as I could feel it. That increasing pain. I held my breath and crawled into a fettle position on the asteroid below me. I clutched my head, waiting for…

Black

…

I opened my eyes, the pain was subsiding and I slowly sat up. I looked around me, I was in johns house, like always. Every time I came out of grimbark, I was always at johns house.

"Oh john," I pulled my knees to my chest, tears welling in my eyes. "Why here, of all the places why here every time." I sucked in a breath, trying hard not to lie on my side and cry. "Now is not a time for self-pity. I stood up and walked up the stairs into the hall bathroom. On top of the mostly shattered sink was a shard of mirror and half a comb. I tugged the comb through my badly mangled locks while eyeing myself in the mirror. Dark circled under my eyes as usual, all of my teeth still intact.

"Ah shit!" Searing pain had rushed through my left dog ear as the comb scraped the side of it. It shouldn't hurt this badly. I point the mirror at my ear and gasp in pain. It was torn almost vertically in half. "Well Jade look at what you did to yourself." I whispered to myself in the mirror. I set down the mirror and comb and walked back down the hall to the room in front of the stairs.

Johns Bedroom. The door had been blasted off the hinges and lay in pieces around the room, some piercing into a few of johns precious movie posters. Other than that the room seemed to be almost perfectly intact, compared to the rest of the house. I made my way carefully over the debris of door to johns desk and fished around the top drawer. Feeling what I was looking for, I pulled out a stapler and an almost empty roll of duct tape.

Tearing off two small bits of tape, I stuck the rest back in the drawer, and trudged back to the bathroom. I taped the mirror up to the crumbling wall and tore a piece of my skirt off. I put it in my mouth and bit into it hard. Using one had to hold my ear together I held the stapler up.

On the count of three, one… two… three! I cried out in pain into the cloth as I continued to count. One… two… three! Tears were pouring down my cheeks as I felt fresh blood drip from the staples. By the time I was finished the end of the stapler was bloodied and searing pain throbbed through my head. I set it down and pulled the cloth out of my mouth. Wet from my spit, I tried to dabble away the blood, but every time that I touched my ear the pain would increase. Giving up in an attempt to clean I tossed the cloth aside.

I looked at myself in the mirror one last time. My skin as ashen gray and damp with sweat and tears. Black rimmed my eyes which glowed an unnatural green. My hair, dispite my attemps to comb it was a birds nest and as if to top it off my once white ears were now dirtied, one stapled together. My hands shook until I finally couldn't handle my anger.

"GRAAHHHH!" I smashed my fist into the shard, shattering it to bits. "Damn you for not being strong enough!" I repeatedly slammed my fist into the wall. "Damn you for not being able to save your friends! Damn you for not being able to save yourself then and damn you for not being able to save yourself now!" I screeched at the wall. I was worthless, and if it wasn't for my stupid god tier I would have killed myself a long time ago.

I began to sob, falling to my knees with my face in my palms. If it wasn't for my stupid god tier, I would have been dead anyways. I was a crumbling mess and for a few minutes I acted like it; withering in a pool of my own tears wishing that I could take it all back, and despite the enlarging black pit of despair in my heart, letting it out felt good. So I sat there for a few more minutes, letting the tears slide out until I was dry and left with that hollow feeling inside.

Staring at my hands, I picked the shards of mirror out and tossed them into the small pile of debris around the bathroom. When I got most of it out I tried to wipe the blood from my knuckles, but I only succeeded in smudging it into my skin. Seeing as there was no other reason for me to be in the bathroom I stood up and walked back into Johns room. I pulled his blanket off the bed and shuffled my way onto the balcony.

Lying down near the edge, I wrapped myself in his blanket and inhaled. Smells just like him. Although I couldn't really put my finger on it, I liked to imagine it's what clean air smelt like.

I stared up into what used to be the stars. Random space trash, parts of Derse and every now and then space ship looking things floated by. But at that particular moment and asteroid has slowly made its way across, reminding me of the moon, and for the first time in forever, I howled.

Thank you for reading my first chapter! I hope that you like it so far, please leave thoughts below… yea?