I own nothing but the gender-flipped appearances of Masashi Kishimoto's characters. He own the characters, story, and well….everything. This is just for the hell of it. (idea courtesy of 'The Gender Flip of Haruhi Suzumiya')
Canon pairings only. Please review!
Naruko, Chapter 1: The Knuckleheaded Kunoichi
Why did she keep screaming?, the girl wondered, shaking her blonde pigtails out of her eyes and trying to keep her orange-skirted behind from falling off the cliff.
"It's not nice to scream, Iruko-sensei!" the girl laughed.
"NARUKO-CHAN!" Iruko screamed from the ground hundreds of feet below. "I wouldn't have to scream if you would just come down off the Hokage monument-is that PAINT?"
Uzumaki Naruko laughed and admired her handiwork. The serious-faced Hokage carved into the cliff face were now spattered with neon spray paint.
"Naruko-chan, that's sacrilege!" Iruko ranted. "How dare you deface our village leaders! That is so not ladylike! You'll never become a kunoichi if you keep playing pranks like a little girl."
"But I don't want to be a lady," Naruko laughed, "I want to be Hokage!"
Iruko kept ranting but Naruko didn't listen. It was true, she didn't want to be all polite and serious like Sasune or Nemi. She wanted to stand out, so that the village would notice her. She refused to be an ordinary girl.
"You're cleaning this up, Naruko-chan," said Iruko, using her ninjutsu abilities to leap onto the high boulder where Naruko sat. "I hope you know that."
"Oh, man!" Naruko whined. "I hate girly chores like that."
"Then you shouldn't have made this mess!" Iruko chided. Her expression softened and she added, "Listen, Naruko-chan…I know cleaning makes you feel like a stupid maid, but you're not stupid. Clean this up and I'll buy you some ramen."
"Ramen?" Naruko cried. "OK! Just call me Little Maid Girl Naruko! I'll wear one of those stupid caps and everything!"
Iruko laughed, "That's not necessary. Just hurry up and clean it before the village elders notice."
That night at Ichiraku Ramen, Iruko couldn't stop staring at the growing pile of empty ramen bowls next to Naruko.
"Naruko-chan, you keep eating like that and you'll lose your girlish figure!" Iruko advised, chuckling.
"Whatever," Naruko said, absentmindedly piling extra fishcakes into her twelfth ramen bowl. "Oba-san, where's the hot sauce?"
"Oh, you so aren't a normal girl!" Iruko laughed. "I mean, I'm glad you're not self-conscious about your weight, but…."
"So, you're paying, right, Iruko-sensei?" Naruko interrupted. Iruko sweatdropped, digging into her purse for extra cash.
"Hey, Iruko-sensei?" Naruko asked. "Can you do me a favor?"
"What, Naruko-chan?" Iruko replied. Naruko never asked for much…besides ramen, of course. The hyperactive girl had had a difficult life thus far, but she was always so cheery. Iruko wasn't sure she could refuse Naruko anything.
"Can I wear your headband?" Naruko asked.
..Except that, Iruko thought. "Naruko-chan, I can't do that. It wouldn't be right. This headband," she said, pointing to her forehead, "is only for shinobi of Konoha. You're just a student, Naruko-chan."
"Oh," Naruko pouted, her red lipstick only making it more pronounced. Iruko felt bad about refusing…Naruko had grown up into such a beautiful young woman, and Iruko was proud of her. But she was still always acting like a little girl, like she were three instead of thirteen! Nobody else would see what Iruko saw in Naruko if she kept that immature attitude up.
Naruko was always Iruko's biggest worry.
"I'll become a shinobi,though," Naruko muttered. "I'll become Hokage, Iruko-sensei..believe it!"
I already do, Iruko thought. Do you?
The next day, Iruko wasn't sure what to believe. Naruko had seemed so fired up last night, but today she was sleeping in class. And it was the day of the Genin Test, too!
"Come on, Naruko-chan," Iruko said, calling Naruko to the front of the class. "All you have to do is summon a Shadow Clone, and you'll pass."
Naruko nodded and walked over to Iruko's desk. "OK, here I go!" she smiled, and….
Turned into an ecchi-looking bishounen.
"W-WHAT THE HELL, NARUKO-CHAN?" Iruko yelled, at the end of her rope, her luminescent blush belying her scolding. "STOP SCREWING AROUND!"
There was a POP! and Naruko returned to her normal, female self. "Sorry, Iruko-sensei. I'll do it for real, now…SHADOW CLONE JUTSU!"
An anemic-looking Naruko clone appeared past out on the floor before disappearing completely.
There was no way Iruko could avoid failing Naruko after that.
Naruko sat, sadly, smoothing her skirt out as she sat on the swings she'd played on as a little girl, watching the other kids graduate and become real shinobi, with headbands like Iruko's.
"Good job, sweetie!"
"That's my boy!"
It really made Naruko sick. The whole village didn't like her, and Iruko didn't pass her. She wasn't going to ever be a kunoichi, was she?
"No," she whispered to herself. "I can't give up. I'll be Hokage, and everybody will notice me. I will….I will….." She tried not to cry. Crying made her look like a hysterical chick who couldn't handle anything…it wasn't right…
"Naruko-chan?" said an older female voice.
Naruko looked and saw a tall woman with long blue hair tucked into a stylish black bandana wearing a black blouse and long black skirt with a standard green Kohana-chunin flak jacket.
"Mizumi-sensei?" Naruko cried, surprised. Mizumi was a teacher at the Ninja Academy, like Iruko.
"It was so mean of Iruko-san to fail you, Naruko-chan," Mizumi smiled. "Iruko-san isn't the only one who can make a student into a genin, you know."
"Y-you'll let me graduate, Mizumi-sensei?" Naruko asked, hopeful.
"First, you need to improve your skills, Naruko-chan," Mizumi advised. "So I'll let you in on a little secret. There's a scroll at the Hokage's house that will teach you everything you need to know. Get the secrets of the scroll, and you can graduate, Naruko-chan."
"Easy-peasy!" Naruko laughed. "I just gotta go grab a scroll?"
"That's all, Naruko-chan," Mizumi smiled.
Naruko waited for it to get dark and then raced over to the Hokage's house. Hokage-bachan should have known better than to have a kunoichi guard the scroll! Naruko thought, laughing. "HANDSOME JUTSU!"
The second the guard saw Naruko the Smexy Bishounen, she fainted, blushing. Too easy, Naruko thought, returning to her normal teen-girl self with a POP!
She grabbed the scroll and ran for the woods.
She hadn't been running long when she ran into Mizumi.
"Oh, hey, Mizumi-sensei!" laughed Naruko, "thanks for the tip!"
"Just give me the scroll," Mizumi barked.
"Hey, relax, Mizumi-sensei, I got the scroll. I guess I can graduate now, huh?" Naruko smiled.
"GIVE ME THE DAMN SCROLL!" Mizumi barked, her expression tinged with depravity.
"M-Mizumi-sensei?" Naruko blinked, her smile vanishing. "Are you OK?"
"Don't give it to her!" a friendly female voice called desperately.
"Huh?" Naruko cried, recognizing the voice as Iruko's. "What are you doing out here, Iruko-sensei?"
"Give me the scroll, Naruko-chan!" Iruko panted. "She can't be allowed to possess it."
"Mizumi-sensei?" Naruko cried, whirling to face Mizumi, who was brandishing a kunai knife. "What the heck is going on?"
"Mizumi-san is trying to frame you, Naruko-chan!" Iruko cried. "She wants everyone to blame you for stealing the secret scroll."
"Huh?" Naruko cried.
"Like anybody would be surprised that the fox-girl turned out to be a thief!" Mizumi laughed evilly.
"Fox-girl?" Naruko repeated. "W-what are you talking about?"
"Oh, Naruko-chan," Mizumi sneered. "Didn't you ever wonder why the whole village ostracizes you? Don't you want to know why you don't have any friends?"
"I'm Naruko-chan's friend!" Iruko cried.
"How can you be, Iruko-san?" Mizumi laughed. "Naruko-chan is the reason you don't have a family!"
"W-what?" Naruko cried.
"Thirteen years ago…" Mizumi began.
"Don't tell her!" Iruko pleaded. "The Hokage herself forbade it."
"Tell me what?" Naruko cried. "Tell me what, Sensei?"
"Thirteen years ago, a nine-tailed fox attacked our village," Mizumi explained with a cruel snicker. "The Fourth Hokage gave her life to…."
"To kill the fox, right?" Naruko interjected.
"No," Mizumi sneered, "to seal it away. They wanted a little boy to seal the Fox away in, see…a strong little guy. But all they found was a baby girl."
No, Naruko thought.
"Yes, Naruko-chan," Mizumi cackled, "the baby girl was you! You are the Nine-Tailed Fox! You're the monster who murdered Iruko-san's parents!"
"No!" Naruko cried. "No, I-"
Naruko looked back at Iruko's sad face.
Then, Naruko believed it. I am the Fox. Oh my kami. I am the Fox. Iruko-sensei must hate me.
Naruko was stunned out of her thoughts when a rain of shuriken flew from Mizumi's hand and she was pushed to the ground.
Iruko screamed with pain as she held Naruko down, out of harm's way. Naruko felt blood drip from Iruko's arms.
"No, Iruko-sensei!" Naruko screamed. "No!"
"Naruko-chan…." Iruko moaned through her pain. "Run, run! Don't let Mizumi get the scroll….."
Iruko-sensei sacrificed herself for me. Naruko realized. Why would she do that for me?
"Run, Naruko-chan, run!" Iruko screamed.
I have to save the scroll, Naruko thought. For Iruko-sensei!
She turned and ran. She should've known Mizumi would catch up.
"Give me the scroll, Naruko-chan!" Mizumi screamed. "Or I'll kill you!"
I can't die. Naruko thought. I'm going to be Hokage!
She screamed as she released a hundred, no, two hundred shadow clones. A new trick she'd learned….from the scroll. For Iruko-sensei.
"Are you OK, Naruko-chan?" Iruko asked.
"Yeah," Naruko whispered tiredly. "What about you, Iruko-sensei? Mizumi-sensei must have-"
"I'll be fine." Iruko smiled. "I have something for you." She smiled and removed her headband. Offered it to Naruko.
"From this day forward, Naruko-chan," Iruko smiled. "You are an official genin kunoichi of Konoha."
The Next Day
Ninja Academy
"OK, class!" Iruko smiled. "You are now all official genin of Konoha. Congratulations. You will now be divided into three-man cells, with a jounin as your sensei. Understood?"
Three-man cells, huh? Naruko thought. Oh, I hope I'm with Sakuro-kun!
Naruko looked at the pink-haired, green-eyed boy with the long red and white overcoat and black pants. He was the smartest, cutest boy Naruko knew.
But he was staring at Uchiha Sasune.
The snooty girl had waist-length, spiky black hair behind her new headband. Today, she was wearng a blue turtleneck with the Uchiha crest on it and a little black skirt. She looked bored.
Of course Sakuro-kun is staring at Sasune-san! Naruko thought, frowning. All the boys do. They all think she's so COOL because she's a little teacher's pet and she's always showing off and she's so freakin' bishoujo-looking and wears those stupid little skirts. I hate her!
"Sit by me, Sasune-chan!" Sakuro smiled.
"No, Sakuro-kun!" Naruko cried. "Sit next to me!" She jumped up from her seat and ran toward Sakuro's desk.
She crash-landed into….something. Something soft and vaguely female…..
Naruko almost screamed when she saw her face had crashed right into Sasune's shocked, open mouth.
"OH MY GOD!" she screamed, backing away and trying not to vomit. DID I JUST SERIOUSLY ACCIDENTALLY KISS SASUNE-SAN? WHAT IS THIS, A YURI MANGA?
"Disgusting," Sasune muttered, wiping her face with her sleeve.
"It's not like I wanted to!" Naruko screamed. "Stop putting your dumb face where people are trying to walk!"
Naruko, blushing furiously with humiliation, stole a glance at Sakuro, who somehow had gotten a nosebleed . He looked angry…and a little jealous.
Damn Sasune-san! "Hey, Sakuro-kun!" Naruko cried. "You know who I'd rather-"
"QUIET DOWN!" Iruko screamed. "Alright, I'm dividing you all up now. Here are your senseis. You'll report to the one I assign you."
Naruko, still a bit nauseous from that first-kiss-gone-awry, looked and saw two women and one man at the front of the room. Naruko had seen them before.
The first woman had long spiky brown hair and was smoking a long, slender pipe. She wore the black blouse, green flak jacket, and long black skirt common to most jounin kunoichi Naruko had seen. Iruko wore the same outfit. This woman's, however, also had a white cloth on it with a symbol for fire. Naruko knew the woman to be Sarutobi Asuna-sensei.
She was standing next to a pretty-looking young man with red eyes who wore a white and red jumpsuit with a kimono-style neck that only had one sleeve. He was Kureno-sensei.
The third woman had a unibrow and didn't attract Naruko's attention.
"Asuna-sensei will teach Nara Shikamane, Yamanaka Ito, and Akamichi Chouko." Iruko announced.
"NOOOOOOO!" a boy with a blonde ponytail and a purple jumpsuit cried. "I want to be on Sasune-chan's team!"
"Sorry, Ito-kun," Iruko sighed. "Not going to happen. Go join your team! Moving on…Kureno-sensei will teach Hyuuga Hinaga, Inzuka Kibako, and Aburame Shiko. The other sensei gets Hyuuga Nemi, Tenshi, and Rock Leechee."
"What about me?" Naruko asked, realizing her name hadn't been called.
"Another sensei is coming for your team," Iruko replied. "Unfortunately, she's late. Naruko-chan, you're on Team 7 with Haruno Sakuro….."
"YES!" Naruko giggled.
"…and Uchiha Sasune," Iruko continued.
"NO!" Naruko sighed.
"Grow up, Naruko-san," Sakuro sighed. Why do I have to be on a team with that ditz? He thought. She'll just get in the way of my plan to get Sasune-chan. She's so cute. He sighed dreamily. Mmm.
Sasune's perfectly-lined eyes glared at Naruko. A ditz and a fanboy. Sasune thought. Doesn't matter. Itachiko-ne is all I care about. Just hope they don't get in my way, she frowned, flipping a strand of perfect hair.
"So who's our sensei?" Sakuro asked.
"Her name," Iruko said, "is Hatake Kakashiko."