Eli Goldsworthy, the boy with the jet black hair, sexy smirk, and black painted finger nails. The boy who stole my heart in the tenth grade. The boy who I haven't stopped thinking about since. He was my whole reason for getting up and going to school everyday. One thing that I had to look forward to each day that made me happy. I would have given anything for him. He always made me laugh, and he always made me smile. I remember when we were in school, we had a study hall together in the eleventh grade. Everyday we would flirt back and forth. I saw it, the teachers saw it, the others students saw it. The only one that never saw it was Eli. Yup thats right, he never knew. Never knew that I liked him and certainly never knew that I loved him. Of course, half of the reason behind that is my fault. I never had the nerve to tell him. Yet, how could he not know? How could he have never noticed all the signs that I was showing, the message I was subtly trying to send out? How couldn't he have seen the way he made me feel when he was around?
I am now twenty three years old and in college, and I haven't since Eli since our highschool graduation day. The day that broke my heart, when I said goodbye to him forever. Although everyday since then, I hoped I would see him again someday. Even if it was just to say hi, or to see his face one last time. To stop all the pain, the wondering of where he is, what he's doing, if he has met any girls yet that he has fallen in love with. To maybe just see him, and be able to move on. To know that he's okay. Yet here I stand, back in my home town for Christmas break. Standing face to face with none other than Eli Goldsworthy himself, but I can't help but think that something feels different.
"Clare? Clare Edwards, is that you?" he said to me smirking. Wow have I missed that. He hasn't changed much. Same jet black hair, same black finger nails, and same all black attire. The only thing that has changed is that he seems to have grown a few inches. "Eli?" "Yeah hey, how have you been? I haven't seen you in what, like four years?" "Five actually." I quickly stated. "Wow, five years, how have you been?" "Um, pretty good, what about yourself?" "Not too bad actually, I'm still in school, working on the writing thing." "Yeah, same here." I said to him. I must have looked a little off to him, because he asked me if I was okay. To be honest. I was sort of in shock. I never thought I would see him again, yet here he stands, casually talking to me. "Uh, yeah its just that I never thought I would see you again." " Oh, well here I am." he said laughing. I wanted to just sit down and talk to him, to know everything about him. To find out exactly what he's been up to these last five years, if I just let him get away this time, I know I will hate myself later. I have to say something. It's now or never. Tell him how you feel Clare, how you've always felt. If you don't, you will be in pain for the rest of your life wondering. I just can't help but feel though that something is different. That something has changed.
"Um, Eli? Can I tell you something serious without you laughing? It's important." "Sure Clare, what's up?" "Well, here's the thing, im not going to beat around the bush. I love you. I've loved you since the tenth grade. I knew then that you were the one for me, that you were the one I wanted to be with. Everyday I would get up thinking about you. How I got to see you again that day. Wondering what you were going to say to me. I tried to get you to like me, to get you to want me the way that I wanted you. I know it doesn't work that way, but I always hoped. So here I stand, five years too late, telling you how I feel because I never had the nerve back then, and I've had to deal with the pain it's put me through." There was a slight pause before either of us said anything. "Wow Clare, after all these years, and I never knew you felt that way." " I know Eli, trust me I know. I also know that it's my fault that you never knew. I just could never tell you. I was scared to be rejected by the one thing that I loved the most. But as I'm standing here today, in front of you, I just can't help but feel that something is different." "What do you mean?" "Well, by seeing you again Eli, I know that I still like you." " I like you too Clare." "You do?" "Yes, I do." "You see Eli, the only thing with that is that I don't know whether your telling me the truth or not. If your just saying it because I told you I love you. But I also realize that it doesnt matter." " It doesn't matter?" he asked me looking confused. "No, It doesn't matter. Eli I realized that I love you, and I probably always will, but I've also realized that im in love with your memory. The way that things used to be. The way that you used to be. The way that we used to be. I can't be in love with you now because I don't know you any more Eli. It's been five years. We don't know eachother." "Well, then lets get to know eachother, Clare. We have the whole rest of our lives. I wasn't lying when I told you that I liked you Clare. I liked you even when we were in highschool, but same as you, I never had the nerve to tell you." "Really?" "Yes Clare, really. Now lets go, I think we have a lot of catching up to do." He gave me that famous smirk once again. "Yes, I believe we do." With that I wove my arm through his, and smiled at him as we walked together. I think I can say that today is the best day of my life.