Godzilla's Last Will And Temperament (Boot To The Head Parody)
Location: Godzilla's Mansion on Birth Island, The Late Godzilla's office on the ground floor.
Godzilla's family members and housekeeper were seated at an oval conference table awaiting Godzilla's will to be declared by his lawyer, Ultraman, while Anguirius, slept peacefully under a large open window.
"As the executor of Mr. Godzilla's estate, I have been empowered to read Mr. Godzilla's Last Will And Testament." Ultraman, who was standing at one end of the table started off.
"Well, get on with it, a school of fish will pass by soon." Zilla Jr., who was sitting at the other end of the table yelled while munching on a giant fish.
"Oh, poor, dear Goji! Waaaa!" Godzilla's sister Biollante cried as she sat closest to the lawyer.
"Oh, there, there, Biollante." Her husband, Gamera (Yes, they're married in this parody) tried to comfort her as he offered her a napkin, which she used to blow her nose.
"Man, how predictably boring." Godzooky, Godzilla's annoying nephew said as he yawned.
"I never worked for a kinder kaiju." Mrs. Mothra, the mansion's housekeeper said sadly, as she wiped her giant bug eyes with a handkerchief.
"If we are all seated, I shall proceed with the reading." Ultraman said to them as he picked up the will.
"I knew it." Godzooky rolled his eyes, as Zilla Jr. laughed quietly while munching his fish.
Ultraman then started reading the will. "I, Godzilla G. Godzillasaurous, being of sound mind and body-"
"That's a laugh!" Zilla Jr. mocked as he pointed the half eaten fish at the lawyer, who ignored the interruption and continued.
"...do hereby divide up my considerable estate as follows. To my overly emotional sister, Biollante..."
"Waaaa!" she wailed
"Biollante, darling, he's talking about us." Gamera patted her to grab her attention.
"Oh!" She instantly stopped, as if she never cried in the first place.
"...who grubbed with her husband, Gamera…" Ultraman then looked at them as if preparing to beat them up "…grubbed for everything they could get from me, and then cried Gidorah tears when I needed sympathy..."
"What?" Biollante and her husband blinked.
"...To Biollante, I leave a SKREEEEEEEEEONK!"
"A what?!" She Angrily yelled. Then got hit by Godzilla's Atomic Blue Breath that came out of nowhere.
"OW!" "Biollante! Are you okay?" A shocked Gamera worriedly asked.
"...and another SKREEEEEEEEEONK! to her wimpy husband, Gamera." Gamera got hit in the face by Godzilla's Atomic Breath as well!
"Mmmm! Delicious!" Gamera said after he opened his mouth and ate the blast.
While Zilla laughed hard at the comedic situation.
"This is an outrage!" She fumed.
"But it tastes good!"
"Shutup, Gamera!" She snapped at her husband.
"Yes, Dear" Gamera dejectedly obeyed.
Ultraman then continued reading "...ah, but still, you are my sister, you have both admired Japan, and since I will no longer be stomping it..."
"Oh, dear Goji, he's too kind!" Biollantte smiled confidently awaiting the next sentence.
"Yes." Gamera nodded in agreement.
"...I bequeath another SKREEEEEEEEEONK!"
"What?!... AW!"
A more powerful Atomic Breath hit her face again, while her husband watched her fall on the floor.
Zilla continued to laughed harder.
"And one more for the wimp!"
"Oh boy! Extra treat!" Gamera gladly received an equally powerful hit.
Ultraman then continued reading "Next, to my Inferior brother-"
"Hey! I don't want no SKREEEEEEEEEONK!" Zilla interrupted.
"...to dear Zilla, who has never won a day in his lousy life..."
"I'm coverin' up my head!" He ducked under the table for cover.
"...I leave my salmon filled sea and three ships of my finest lobster."
"Really?!" He eagerly rose up with a stupid smile.
"And a SKREEEEEEEEEONK!"
"Argh!" The projectile hit him right on!
"And another for Biollante and the wimp."
The late Godzilla seems to be very fond of his sister…
"AW!" and even MORE fond of his brother in law…
"Never thought I'd get this much free food in one day!"
"Next, to my know-it-all nephew, Godzooky..."
"This is so predictable..."
Godzooky said not interested at all.
"...I leave a SKREEEEEEEEEONK!"
"Uh! I knew it." The poor kaiju said as he rubbed his scorched face.
"And one for Biollante and the wimp."
Ever the loving brother, he gave her more of her share of the wealth
"AW!"
"MY TURN!"
And a double dose for his brother in law.
"This takes care of family obligations. And now, to Mrs. Mothra..."
"Oh, uh, I don't want nothin'" The housekeeper said nervously knowing what's to come.
"...who took care of me faithfully these many, many years, who cared, made me roar with laughter, brought me Nuke Containers..." Ultraman continued sounding sincere.
"Oh, I didn't mind." Mothra happily said as she got praised for her hard work.
"To Mrs. Mothra, I bequeath a SKREEEEEEEEEONK!"
She hit the floor with a chirp upon impact, then stood up not believing that she was dumb enough to fall for Godzilla's antics, like his brother and sister did just now.
"And one for Biollante and the wimp!"
You should get the picture by now.
"AW!"
Biolantte overwhelmed by the fortune they received, her body couldn't support her! She was almost cooked to crisp, and the only sign that showed that she was still alive was her twitching arm vines.
"BURP!" Gamera was sitting on the floor beside her, rubbing his plastron.
"And so, to my friend Anguires, I leave my entire vast of... SKREEEEEEEEEONK!"
The roar of Godzilla's best friend, Anguirus, who was asleep the whole time, rang throughout the mansion as he received his share of the will and then jumped out of the open window.
"And finally, to my lawyer, who has helped me on this will, I leave not a SKREEEEEEEEEONK!..." his eyes widened in dread as he realized what was in store for him "but a rabid Deutalios, to be placed in his jumpsuit?!"
Before he could react though, Deutalios, the unused Kaiju from 'Godzilla Vs. Biollantte Movie jumped in from the the window, right into Ultraman's jumpsuit!
"AAAAHHHHH! and, and, ".
The poor space alien started jumping rapidly around in such a way that to the ones who didn't know he was in pain would think he was dancing like an imbecile (Like that time when Gurion assaulted Gamera with those shurikens)
"..and-I-leave-my-entire-estate-of-Monster-Island-to-the-Ultra-KaijuS-so-they-can-afford-to-move-somewhere-decent!"
The unbearable pain caused by the scrapped kaiju caused Ultraman to speed up his last sentence, before he managed to get rid of the cursed creature, threw him out of the window then sighed with relief as he slumped on the chair.
Then unexpectedly, another kaiju popped his head in from the wide window in the office. Everyone got surprised, except for Ultraman, when they realized who it was.
"Excuse me, but did I hear that we, The Ultra-Qs, can now live on Monster Island?!" Gomora of the Ultra Kaijus asked in a casual tone.
"Whao! What the?!" Zilla exclaimed.
"Yep, Godzilla has permitted you guys to live there now." Ultramar nodded.
"Ya hear that Guys?! We're moving to Monster Island!" He called out to someone outside the window. Then three Kaijus, Eleking, Jirass and Gomess, popped their heads and arms in!
"Awsome!" Eleking cheered
"Finally! A decent home for us Kaiju!" Jirass excitedly pumped his fists.
"You Ultramen wont DARE to pick on us again!" Gomess pointed at Ultraman.
"Lets Packup!" Gomora ordered them as he retracted his head out of the window. Like the aftermath of a hurricane, total silence fell in the room as the Ultra-Qs left the window open.
"Don't get your hopes up just yet, Gomess" Ultraman quietly said as he went to the window to lock it, then went back to his spot, to pick the will up from the table.
There was a silence for a few seconds, before it was finally broken by Gamera...
"Is that it?" He asked in anticipation.
"That's it?" Godzooky repeated the question.
"That's disgraceful!" Zilla threw his now torched fish on the table.
"There's one last thing for everyone." Ultraman answered them.
"Cover your heads, everybody!" Zilla warned and everyone else ducked below the table (Except for Gamera who was excitedly awaiting the blast).
"I leave everyone a lifetime supply of ice cream." Ultraman read.
"Ice cream?" Gamera disappointedly asked.
"Ice cream? "Zilla followed suit, but in a confused tone as he raised his head.
"Ice cream? That's all?" Godzooky raised an eye ridge as he looked up at him.
"That's all." Ultraman nodded at them.
"Well, what flavor is it?" Mrs. Mothra asked suspiciously.
"Red-flavored SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEONK!"
The mansion went ablaze with rapid red atomic breaths and filled with the kaiju's agonizing screams.
Except for Gamera of course, who joyfully pumped his fists skyward.
"BEST. DAY. EVER! OOFFF!"
"SHUT UP AND DIE!"
Annoyed to death that he wasn't able to fry this Nuke-eating kaiju, the King of the monsters jumped from his hiding place behind a picture of himself and proceeded to beat the living out of him.
A/N: Yep, Godzilla's family are so dumb they didn't question where all those atomic projectiles came from if HE was supposedly dead!