In a single moment, everything that Sebastian knew about Hawke was turned on its head.
He had known of the woman for several years now, ever since she had taken it upon herself to help hunt down the hired mercenaries that had slaughtered his family. Their first meeting had only been for a few minutes, so short that he doubted he would have even remembered her at all it hadn't been for the fact that Hawke was just so memorable. In its aftermath, it had seemed as natural as breathing to keep an ear out for news involving the woman.
At the time, Sebastian had told himself it was prudent. The persons behind the hiring of the Flint Company had been a mystery, and Hawke had already proven herself to be a formidable fighter. It seemed wise to keep track of her, in case he needed her assistance again.
Looking back, he suspected prudence had only played a small part in his actions. Much of it had been pure curiosity, nothing more and nothing less. Hawke was a striking woman, in more ways than one, and inquisitiveness had always been one of his weaknesses.
Still, it had only been in the past month that he had truly gotten to know her, or at least began to do so. Ever since he had gone to her to ask for her help in dealing with the Harimanns.
In that time, Hawke had been surprisingly reticent about asking him to join her and her companions on what he knew were regular outings for them, despite his offering her the use of his bow. Other than their visit to the Harimanns' mansion, their latest outing was only his second with her, and the first hardly counted considering the smugglers they had encountered had given themselves up before any blood could be spilled.
He had thought at first that it was because of his position with the Chantry, that Hawke doubted his ability to fight. Still, there was an odd undercurrent to her actions, as well as those of the man she had introduced as Anders, that made him question that assumption. He'd been puzzling it the past hour or so, up until the bandits had tried to ambush them.
The last of the flames that Hawke had shot from the staff that had appeared as if out of thin air faded away. The air around them was still thick with electricity from the lightning that had flown from Anders's fingertips.
And Sebastian couldn't help but think that he'd finally figured out why she had been so obviously uncomfortable about bringing him along.
"You're an apostate," he said blankly, staring at her. A dozen small things clicked in his head, inconsistencies that he'd never even thought to question suddenly making sense. It was almost a relief to have the mystery solved, despite the fact that he had more questions than before that needed to be answered now. "You're both apostates."
For the first time since he had met her, Hawke's self-assurance and bravado seemed to desert her. Her eyes flashed with something that looked surprisingly like fear, and a wave of guilt rushed through him at the thought that he, of all people, might be causing that look on her face.
Sebastian's mind was racing as he tried to find the right words to say. His surprise was working against him, keeping him from finding an appropriate response.
Hawke's eyes suddenly went wide. "No, don't!"
Confused, he opened his mouth to ask her what she was talking about. Before he had a chance, though, he heard the distinctive sound of something being swung through the air behind him.
Then something heavy crashed into the back of Sebastian's head and the world went black.
The first thing Sebastian heard as he drifted back to consciousness was what sounded suspiciously like someone getting slapped on the back of the head.
Judging by the rather loud "ow!" that immediately followed it, he suspected that it had been exactly what it sounded like.
When Sebastian tried to open his eyes, the world spun sickeningly around him. He quickly closed them again, listening to what was going on around him rather than trying to see anything. He tried to breathe through his mouth, silently praying that the nausea he was feeling would fade.
"What were you thinking?" Hawke asked, her voice practically vibrating with anger.
"I was thinking that our resident Chantry brother just found out that we're apostates and was probably about five seconds away from finding the nearest templar to cart us off to the Gallows!" Anders shot back.
"So your reaction was to bash him over the head with your staff?" Hawke hissed. "That was the very first thing that crossed your mind? A staff to the head?"
"What?" Anders asked defensively. "It wouldn't have been yours?"
"No!"
"Hawke—"
"Don't you 'Hawke' me, Anders." Hawke's tone was almost a growl. "Sebastian hadn't done anything to give us any reason to doubt him, and what did you do? You cracked him in the head with your staff. If someone did that to me, I might be tempted to turn them over the nearest templars."
"I couldn't risk it!" Anders shot back, a hint of a waver in his voice. "I can't—" His voice cracked. "Damn it, Hawke, what was I supposed to do? Let him turn us in? You know that both of us are dead if that happens! Worse than dead!"
Hawke let out a tired-sounding sigh. "You could have at least given him the benefit of the doubt," she said, more than a little disappointment in her voice. "Would that really have been too much to ask?"
There was a long pause.
"You're right," Anders said finally. It was as if all of the anger had been drained out of him, leaving nothing but empty exhaustion behind.
Reluctantly, Sebastian tried opening his eyes again. The world still wasn't quite as stable as he knew that it should be, but it was better than before.
He cleared his throat a bit hesitantly, immediately drawing their attention toward him. "I'd ask what hit me," he said wryly, a slight slur to his voice that he hadn't quite expected, "but I suppose there's no need."
Anders huffed and looked away from him. Hawke shot the other man an annoyed look before hurrying over to kneel down beside Sebastian.
"I'm sorry about all this," she said, hesitantly offering him her hand. "This wasn't how I meant for you to find out."
Sebastian wavered for just a moment before taking the hand that she had offered him, letting her all but pull him to his feet. He did his best to ignore the way that his vision swam in front of him as she pulled her hand away.
Hawke bit her lip, not quite meeting his gaze. "You probably have questions."
"Several," Sebastian agreed, the corner of his mouth twitching upward despite everything. Then his eyes drifted over to one of the still smoldering corpses sprawled on the ground nearby. "Perhaps somewhere other than here, though?"
If anything, Hawke looked even more uncomfortable.
Anders suddenly cleared his throat. "My clinic is nearby," he said, pointedly not looking at Sebastian. "We can talk there."
Sebastian blinked at that. "Your clinic?" he repeated slowly.
Anders didn't elaborate. He just turned and started walking away, in a different direction than the one they had come from.
Hawke gave Sebastian a slightly apologetic look. "It's not far," she said. "And it probably is the safest place in Darktown for us to talk."
Sebastian stood there for a moment, not quite certain what would be the best action to take. "Lead the way," he finally said, gesturing in the direction that Anders had headed off in.
Sebastian fought to keep his eyes open and focused straight ahead, even as his vision swam in front of him. He was trying his best to ignore the pounding in his head, despite its growing intensity. Years of being taught not to show weakness were ingrained in him, but he knew that everyone had their limits.
And he was well aware that he was quickly reaching his.
Taking a deep breath, he forced himself to keep moving forward. Anders and Hawke were getting farther and farther ahead of him, navigating the narrow tunnels of Darktown as if they knew them by heart. Which they probably did, since their previous statements made it sound as if Anders, at least, actually lived down there.
Sebastian swayed as his vision greyed out for a moment or two, his hand instinctively going out to grab for the nearest wall as support. He forced himself to breathe deeply, pushing through the worst of it until his vision cleared.
At which point he realized that Anders and Hawke must have noticed his disappearance, as both of them were standing just a few feet away from him.
"Sebastian?" Hawke asked, a worried crease in her forehead.
"I'm fine," Sebastian said tiredly, letting go of the wall. He quickly grabbed for it again a second later as his legs protested the action, wobbling worryingly under him.
And he missed.
Anders grabbed him before he could hit the ground, with more strength than Sebastian had expected considering how thin he was.
His vision and hearing both greyed out for a moment, or possibly a lifetime. When he came back to himself, he was carefully laid on out on the ground with his head resting in Hawke's lap. Anders was at his side, gently running his hands over Sebastian's aching head.
"It's a concussion," Anders said, his voice sounding as if it was coming from a great distance despite the fact that Sebastian knew he was kneeling just beside him. "He's stubborn, I'll give him that. I don't have a clue how he made it this far."
Sebastian chuckled and immediately regretted it as his head felt as if it was going to split in two. His laugh instantly turned into a groan.
"I'm sorry about all this," Anders said quietly, and Sebastian couldn't help but think that the apology was genuine. "I'm a healer. May I?"
It took Sebastian a moment to realize that Anders was asking for permission to heal him. With magic. He hesitated, a small part of him not comfortable with the idea, but when he saw the mage's face start to fall it made up his mind for him. "Please, do."
Something that looked a lot like surprise flickered across Anders's face. Then a bright light filled his vision, and Sebastian instinctively squeezed his eyes closed.
After a moment or two, the agonizing pain in his head faded into a dull ache before disappearing completely. Within another minute, it was as if there hadn't been anything wrong to begin with.
Sebastian opened his eyes slowly, captivated as the light faded away from Anders's hands. "Thank you," he said quietly. "I appreciate it."
Anders let out a strangled sound that might have been supposed to be a laugh. "I was the one who hurt you in the first place," he said, more than a hint of bitterness in his voice. "It was the least I could do."
Sebastian couldn't quite force himself to meet Anders's gaze, but he did manage a weak smile. "I suppose that I cannot blame you, all thing considered." He paused for a moment, taking in a deep breath. "It was not just yourself that you were protecting."
Anders's gaze flickered to Hawke for just a second.
"No," Anders agreed softly. "No, it wasn't."
Hawke let out a huff. Sebastian didn't know her well enough to know whether it meant amusement or annoyance. "I'm sitting right here, you know."
Anders let out a sigh, pushing himself to his feet. "Come on," he said, reaching down to offer Sebastian his hand. "We're not too far from my clinic now."
Sebastian didn't know what to say.
He let his gaze drift over the small room they were in, tiny and cramped but meticulously organized and much cleaner than he had expected from anything in Darktown. After Anders had healed his own injury, he'd started to form suspicions about the clinic they were heading towards, but never in his wildest dreams had he imagined this.
Hawke cleared her throat. "Where do you want to start?" she asked, obviously uncomfortable.
Sebastian reluctantly turned his attention back toward her. She was sitting on a cot, in an obviously defensive stance with her arms crossed in front of her chest. Anders was standing nearby, leaning against a wall and watching Sebastian warily.
If he was honest with himself, Sebastian didn't know where to start. He had a thousand questions for them both. Had they always been apostates, or had they escaped from a Circle? Were there other apostates among their companions? What was the purpose of the clinic they were sitting in? Why had they not turned themselves in, both for their own protection and the protection of others?
What came out of his mouth was: "How did I not notice that you were openly carrying staffs?"
Hawke stared at him for a moment, a startled look on her face. Then, to his utter astonishment, she threw her head back and laughed.
"It's not that funny," Anders muttered under his breath.
If anything, Hawke's laughter grew even louder.
Sebastian couldn't help it. He smiled. The sound of Hawke's laughter was infectious, lightening the mood in the room even if she hadn't intended it.
It took another minute, but Hawke finally managed to get her laughter under control. "It was a misdirection spell."
Sebastian's smile disappeared instantly. "You… cast a spell on me?" he asked, stumbling over the words in his surprise. He felt something that felt suspiciously like distress building inside of him. Being an apostate by itself was more than enough to make him worry, but he'd never expected her to have used magic on him without his knowledge.
Anders at least had asked for his permission first.
Hawke's eyes widened, her laughter cutting off abruptly. "Maker, no!" she said. "I'd never— you don't honestly believe that I'd do something like that to a friend, do you? It's on the staffs themselves. So nobody will notice them."
It took Sebastian a few seconds before he felt able to respond. He wasn't quite certain if it was because of her answer or the fact that she had referred to him as a friend.
He suspected it was the latter. And he wasn't quite certain what to do with that knowledge.
Before he had a chance to speak, Anders scoffed. "And this is where he goes off on a rant about the evils of magic."
"Magic itself isn't evil," Sebastian said immediately, without even a second's thought or hesitation.
Hawke blinked at that, looking startled at his reply.
Even Anders stopped and stared at him for a second or two, a surprised look on his face. "Really?" he asked. "That's—well, that's not what the Chantry usually teaches."
Part of Sebastian wanted to argue, to snap back at Anders for being wrong about the Chantry. He'd had enough experiences over the years to understand where the other man was coming from, though, even if he was loathe to admit it. There would always be those who took the words of the Chant and twisted them to their own use.
"Perhaps not," Sebastian agreed, because he knew the type of sermons that Anders was thinking of even if he wished that he didn't, "but it is what the Chant teaches."
Anders looked like he was going to argue for a moment. Then a somewhat thoughtful look appeared on his face, and he kept his mouth closed.
Sebastian turned his attention back toward Hawke. "Have you ever been in a Circle?" he asked.
She shook her head. "I haven't," she said. Her eyes flickered to Anders. "He has."
Neither of them seemed to want to elaborate, so Sebastian didn't press. There would be other times to ask for more details, or—at least—he hoped that there would.
He hesitated for a moment, not certain whether it would be wise to ask his next question. "Have you ever considered turning yourself in?"
Anders made a strangled sound, and Sebastian thought that he caught a flash of blue out of the corner of his eye. Before he could glance in the other man's direction, though, Hawke held up a hand.
"I'd rather die," she said matter-of-factly, staring him straight in the eye.
Sebastian stared at her for a moment, studying her face. Then he grimaced, despite himself. There wasn't a lie in her eyes.
He nodded.
"Are we going to have a problem?" Hawke asked. Her voice was as hard as iron, but Sebastian could still see that hint of fear in her eyes from earlier.
Sebastian shook his head. "No," he said. "It is not my place to share others' secrets."
The smile that lit up Hawke's face was absolutely breathtaking.
Sebastian felt his breath catch in his chest. Then he smiled back at her.
