Root Beer and Pixie Sticks
"Alright Sheen, it's your turn."
"No way! I just went like two minutes ago!"
"Come on Shine, we haven't got all night!"
"It's Sheen!"
"Con found it Sheen, just go already!"
"Alright, alright, sheesh!" Sheen took a heavy draught from the glass bottle he was holding and wiped the foam off his mouth. He giggled for a few seconds, his sweaty face shining in the dim light of Jimmy's lab. The others grinned patiently. Getting the last of his giggles out, Sheen cleared his throat. He moved his lips to begin speaking but then broke up in wolfish howls. Tears leaked out of his eyes as he fought to control himself.
"Man, he is trashed!" Nick jeered. Jimmy and Carl chortled in agreement.
"I'm okay, I'm okay," Sheen gasped. He took a deep breath to silence himself. When he spoke up again, it was a throaty melody that drifted through his lips.
Oh Libby you make me siiiiiing,
Oh Libby my heart doth swiiiiing,
Now the other three joined in.
Oh Libby you make me sing annnnd swing, so buy me a diamond riiiiiiing!
Hoards of laughter sprung up amongst the four boys as they slapped each other on the back and slammed their bottles together.
"Everyone!" Jimmy shouted. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop seeing double. "Everyone I have an announcement to make!" Jimmy peeled himself off the sofa and staggered over to the coffee table. It took him a few tries, but he eventually climbed on atop the thing. Swaying dangerously, he held up his arm in the air. His friends wouldn't stop talking.
"HEY!" He yelled. This shut them up. "You all listen when I'm talkin' to you. I'm, I'm," Jimmy couldn't remember his name. His eyes crossed. "I'm Mr. Chocolate Whippy-Dip Head, and, so you better pay attention. First announcement," Jimmy shook his hand so violently he nearly fell off the table. Luckily, Carl saved him and pushed him back on his feet.
"My first announcement is that I like…ducks and pie more than science. Yeah!"
Jimmy's friends all laughed.
"Secondly, I'd like to thank Nick for comin' here and bringin' the drinks." Jimmy picked up one of the many empty glass bottles from the table. He rubbed his finger across the label, which read 'Chug's Root Beer.' "I haven't had a brew this good since Carl's First Communion."
"Here, Here," the other four said.
"Nick," Jimmy slurred, pointing accidentally at Sheen. "Where'dja get this stuff?"
"Supermarket Nerdbomb," Nick said. He watched in amusement as Jimmy dove off the coffee table and landed face-first on the floor. Not surprisingly (he was experienced at these sorts of parties), Nick was the only sober individual in the room.
"Alright boys, that's enough soda for one night," Nick said. He went around and took everyone's bottles from them, dumping the bottles in the sink.
"Hey, I was drinkin' that!" Jimmy sputtered.
"Yeah, now what are we supposed to do?" Sheen demanded. He suddenly grabbed Carl in a headlock and started choking him.
"Don't worry about a thing," Nick said. "I'll be right back with a little…desert." Nick plucked out one of Jimmy's hairs and bounded up the stairs. He exited the lab. The three friends sat in silence for a few minutes until the utter absence of sound became unbearable.
"Man this is boring!" Sheen exclaimed. He finally let got of Carl, whose face had changed into a sickening puce.
"I know," Jimmy said. "Let's go see Brobot. I haven't seen that guy in years." Jimmy got up off the floor and wobbled over to the launching room. He waved for Carl and Sheen to follow him.
"You guys go without me," Carl said. "I gotta do this math homework for Miss Fowl. See yuh." Carl turned around and started walking in the other direction, when he hit a dead end. The refrigerator. He blindly tapped his hands all over the walls until he found the door handle. Carl opened the door and squeezed his bulky frame inside the refrigerator. Man, it's cold outside. He couldn't close the door all the way.
"Fine, we don't needja!" Jimmy spat. "Come on Sheen." The two boys made their way to the launching room, where Jimmy kept the Strato XL at the ready. Sheen turned on the light while Jimmy jumped in the rocket and fired up the engines. He wrinkled his nose when he saw that the fuel tank was on 'low.' A blinking red light indicated this.
"Dog gonnit, we're nearly out of fuel." Jimmy stroked his chin, thinking of a solution. "CARL!" he yelled. "Throw us a Purple Flurp!"
Back in the lab's main room, the refrigerator door opened and out flew a twelve-ounce of Purple Flurp. It hit the wall, rolling backwards towards Jimmy's coffee table.
"Nice throw Nolan," Jimmy responded. He sighed and eyed Sheen for a minute. "Cindy, be a dear and go grab that can for me."
"Roger that," Sheen said. He got out of the rocket in pursuit of the can.
'Thanks sugar muffin," Jimmy said.
"Anytime chief." Sheen quickly picked up the can and tossed it over to Jimmy. The boy genius eagerly opened the rocket's fuel cap and emptied all of the purple flurp into the tank. He closed the cap and revved up the engines.
"Alright," Jimmy said. "Engines to power."
"Turbines to speed," Sheen added.
"And kick it homey," Jimmy completed. Hooting with glee, he pressed the last button and away they went.
Unfortunately, among other things, Jimmy forgot to set the rocket vertically, and all he and Sheen ended up doing was crashing into the wall.
"Aw raspberries," Jimmy said, punching the air.
"Hang on Neutron," came a new voice. Nick had returned. "Don't blow yourself up yet. The Night's still young."
"Hiiii Nick," Jimmy drawled. He pried himself from the crunched up rocket and fell on the floor. Sheen followed suit. Nick helped them off the ground and led them back to the main room. Jimmy and Sheen collapsed on the sofa. A frown crossed Nick's features.
"Where's Wheezer?" he said. He then noticed the half-opened refrigerator door, and the pair of feet sticking out beneath it. "Come on Carl; wanna miss out on all the fun?"
"Yeah, hold on a sec," Carl said. Aw hooey, I'm failing math anyways. With a mighty effort, Carl freed himself from the refrigerator's clutches and joined his friends on the couch.
"Okay boys," Nick said. He sat on the coffee table across from the other three. "I got a real treat for ya." Nick withdrew a long, wooden box from his coat pocket. He regarded it briefly before grinning widely at the others. "Know what it is?"
"A box," Jimmy ejaculated, clapping. "And I thought you forgot our anniversary."
"No freako!" Nick snapped. "Let me open the box first." Nick set the box on his lap and undid the lock. He popped open the lid. Jimmy, Carl and Sheen leaned forward to get a peek of the box's contents.
"Straws?" Carl said.
"No." Nick's brown eyes gleamed insidiously. "Pixie sticks."
"Whoa, hold on a minute Nick," Jimmy said. For the first time in hours, his vision became focused. He fought to think amidst the soda sloshing around in his head. "I mean, root beer's one thing, but pixie sticks? That's pretty hard stuff."
"No duh Neutron. I mean, I guess if you're not man enough to handle it…"
Jimmy shook his head. "No, no, but–"
"Then what's the problem? Everyone's doing it."
"Really?" Jimmy asked.
"Yeah," Nick said. "Why, I was just at Cindy's last weekend and we were doin' powdered sugar 'til the cows came home."
"Then leeeeet's do it!" Jimmy declared. He hiccupped happily.
Jimmy, Nick, Carl and Sheen each reached in the box and pulled out a pixie stick. Nick fished inside his coat pocket and removed a small scissors. He snipped off the top of everyone's pixie sticks. The boys then held up the open ends of their pixie sticks right in front of their noses.
"Okay guys," Nick said. "On the count of three:"
"Onnnneeee."
"Twwwwoooooooo."
"THREE!"
Five minutes later
"There they are Captain!" The captain of the Retroville Police peered down the straight staircase that led from Jimmy Neutron's clubhouse to his basement lab. He narrowed his eyes. A few feet beyond the bottom of the staircase, four boys were dancing on a round, wooden table, hugging and hammering down unholy amounts of Chug's root beer. The captain signaled the other men to follow him and within a few minutes they had the boys outside the lab and wearing handcuffs.
"Captain," said one of the officers. He had just exited the lab. In his hands were empty bottles and crumpled straws. "Root beer and pixie sticks sir." The captain looked upon the four boys with pure disdain.
"You boys are in so much trouble," he growled. "Disturbing the peace. Off-key singing. And now root beer and pixie sticks?!" Mrs. Neutron, who with her husband was one of a small, growing crowd of onlookers, buried her face into Mr. Neutron's chest and started bawling.
"Oh Hugh, where did we go wrong?"
"Get your hands offa me!" Nick shouted as he tried to outmaneuver one of the officers. The officer held the boy firm and kept him in place.
"Hey Captain," Jimmy said, his pupils twirling around in all kinds of directions. "How did you get in my lab?"
"One of you geniuses left the door open!" the Captain barked. Jimmy, Carl and Sheen shot murderous glares at Nick, who had been the last one to enter the lab. "Get these punks in the car!" Cindy Vortex and Libby Folfax, who were also watching the unfolding drama, both sobbed as the boys were pushed into the patrol vehicle.
"I guess we'll have to get new boyfriends now," Libby moaned. Cindy nodded, and the two girls wrapped their arms around each other and cried even harder.
Disclaimer - I do not own Jimmy Neutron, it characters, nor any other shows, characters, music, and/or movies that may be referenced.
Author's Note: Hey guys, hope this little ditty brought you some laughs. I know I had a hoot writing it. I would like to mention though that I am in no way encouraging drug use and abuse. I've seen people do the real thing, it is not cool. At all. Anyway, sorry, didn't want to say that, but I thought maybe I should.
I also wanted to say thanks for the reviews on my last story. I'm always trying to bring my writing up to the next level, and I don't think you can really do that without feedback. So thanks a bunch. I hope you like this one as much as my next one, which should be uploaded within a week or so.
Oh, and I don't know when Jimmy added a staircase that led from the clubhouse to the lab. I guess you'll just have to assume he did.