A TRIAL SEPARATION
"All rise!" The clerk's voice boomed out around the near empty courtroom. Becca struggled to get up, court chairs, defendants chairs, never designed with a pregnant woman in mind. The court official took pity and gave her a helping hand, she flashed him a grateful smile and then focused on the judge. It felt like a million years since she'd last sat in this courtroom – oh the irony of it scheduled in Court Two, she'd sat here last year sending up silent prayers for him to be let off and now... now she was sat here sending up vehement prayers for him to rot in hell. She sat down again and leaned back against the chair, she felt cumbersome and hot, she began fanning herself with the papers the solicitor had handed her apologetically as she arrived at the courthouse. It hadn't boded well for her defence; the court official beside her made sympathy noises about the heat but she shook her head and concentrated on the proceedings. She had been worried he would be here but the solicitor had assured her it was just a preliminary hearing, reading out the charges, establishing her current permanent address and a renewal of the bail application. The lawyers droned and she took the opportunity to look around, apart from the judge, the officials and the lawyers, the court was deserted. Thankfully no reporters, and keeping to her instructions, no Nancy either. She allowed herself to drift off in reverie where she was rather satisfyingly still at Hollyoaks comp and setting him detention for a week with the longest list of essays to complete and he was begging her to let him go home. She was roused from her dream by the sound of movement and the official at her side tugging her arm and helping her to stand. The judge departed and her erstwhile solicitor approached beaming "Well it's better than we hoped for, bail and no residency conditions to speak of. You'll need to report to the police of course, but it doesn't specify where. You can travel to your mother's house as we discussed, you'll just need to take a letter from the police here to the local constabulary there. I can organise that for you" He was conciliatory and ingratiating after the cock-up with the papers. She nodded barely taking it in, "You can go" he said gently. "I'll ring you tomorrow with the next court date and Becca, take care" He shook her hand and walked away.
The security man opened the door for her, she walked bemused back out into the weak October sunshine. It still felt like a dream she was here, she realised she was still clutching the papers the solicitor had handed her earlier and quickly stuffed them in her bag as Nancy came running up, Foz trailing in her wake "I know you told me to stay away but I couldn't bear to wait at home, what happened? Has it been dismissed?" she asked eagerly putting the best possible spin on Becca emerging from the courthouse. "No, I've been bailed" she wailed, the realisation hitting her that it was far from over. She glanced around worried he'd be there to gloat but the steps were deserted. Nancy hugged her tightly "We'll beat this Becca, I know we will, the little shit is lying and we'll prove it!" Becca hugged her back far from sure about the outcome. Foz watched them anxiously, both fragile in different ways, Becca from her ordeal and Nancy from worry. "C'mon" he said gently "Let's get away from here. How about a coffee? My treat!" Becca flashed him a smile, and took his proffered arm oblivious to Nancy's sudden flash of annoyance. "Yes lets!" she replied taking Foz's other arm in a proprietal way, glaring briefly at Becca. Foz smiled at them both, oblivious of the tension and the ill assorted trio headed away from the courthouse, unaware of being watched.
Becca clicked the play button, waited for the music to start and leaned back in the bath, closing her eyes. She let out a sigh and drifted away, the two weeks at Mum's had been bliss but this morning's phone call from the solicitor had undone all her mother's good work. It had been easy to pretend that none of this was happening, Justin was just a distant memory and all she had to do was look forward to the birth of this baby. Now she was back, due in court in the morning and desperately hoping a hot bath would restore some of the balm being away had given her. She'd arrived back to an empty flat, Nancy obviously absent for days as the milk souring in the fridge could attest to. She let her mind wander over the last couple of weeks trying to rebuild the peace she'd felt there but she couldn't help feeling this was the calm before the storm. She felt a shadow and sat up suddenly, pulling the earphones out in a panic. The bathroom door was open, had she left that way? She couldn't remember but suddenly felt vulnerable and shivered. She climbed out of the bath ponderously and wrapped herself in the thick white bathrobe, a parting gift from her mother. She walked out into the kitchen, dimly lit and glanced around. Everything appeared to be as she'd left it a half an hour earlier; she walked through to the bedroom, flicked on the light and looked around, her case still sat by the bed unpacked. Satisfied she was alone, she switched off the light and walked back to the kitchen. She filled the kettle and switched it on and turning to retrieve the milk she had bought earlier from the fridge, she stopped in disbelief. Sitting on the counter top in plain sight lay a single red rose. That, most definitely hadn't been there when she returned, hadn't been there when she went into the bathroom. "Nancy? Foz?" she called, the flat was silent. She rushed to the door and checked it, it was still locked. She sat down heavily on the sofa her heart racing, she reached for her handbag and rummaged till she found her phone. Her finger hovered over the speed dial, he was playing with her, toying with her head like a cat with a mouse. Suddenly decisive she pressed the button and waited for it to connect, she jumped as it went to voice mail and the familiar voice asked her to leave a message. Angry, she spat with venom into the phone. "Enough! Meet me in the morning, be here by seven or else!" She snapped the phone shut and flung it down next to her; this was war and she had nothing to lose by playing dirty.
She tossed and turned, moving restlessly from sleep to wakefulness. She looked at the clock, three am; she'd rehearsed over and over in her head what she needed to say to him but would it have an impact? She turned over unable to find a position that was comfortable, usually it was the baby that kept her from sleep but tonight he was quiet. It was her own inner turmoil that troubled her sleep; it was admitting to herself that in spite of everything there were still nights like this when she woke and felt the empty space, not only in the bed but in the flat and in her life. She wondered whether she'd made the right decision, whether her feelings were coloured by recent events, bringing her thoughts back to the impending court appearance tomorrow. "How dare he!" she shouted at the wall tears welling up in her eyes; she dashed them away angrily. She couldn't deal with him like this, he'd see that his plan had worked, that she was spooked. She switched on the bedside light and picked up the book from the bedside table, she'd reached the 'J's. Without thinking she flicked to the end "Justin – just, true" she read out loud, she flung the book down on the bed. Earlier she'd looked up her own "Rebecca – bound, tied", on nights like this it felt as if she was caught in his web with no way out but the plan she'd pulled together would perhaps loosen the ties once and for all. She could only hope.
She jumped at the sudden rap on the door, she hadn't really believed he would answer her peremptory summons and it almost caught her unprepared. She looked in the mirror, she'd done her best to conceal the sleepless night but she had to concede she looked pale and drawn, hardly the face she wanted to show him. She had dressed as she would have done long ago as if for school, cool, smart, businesslike, definitely in charge. She'd thought about it during the long hours of wakefulness, it was her last card and she had to play the part well but now in the cold light of approaching day she wasn't so sure. Another sharp rap at the door made her heart pound but she took a deep breath and walked through to open the door. For a moment she looked into his eyes and her heart stopped, the hairs on the back of her neck rose and the familiar butterflies fizzed in her stomach, for that second she remembered every day of wanting, no needing, to be near him, a flashback of passion and lost love. She gave herself a mental shake and deliberately stamped on every memory, every feeling, she had no room for them now. He smirked at her, "This isn't very clever Becca, it'd better be worth my while" She didn't bother to answer, walking away and leaving him to follow her into the flat and close the door. She said nothing, turned to face him, her expression inscrutable. He continued to smirk but his inability to settle betrayed his underlying nervousness. "I've asked you here to give you a chance to withdraw your allegations" she said quietly. He swung round to face her and laughed "And why should I? It's not only my word against yours, I've got the police eating out of my hand, a social worker's shoulder to cry on, and a new family who believe every word, so go on tell me why should I back down now?" "Because in spite of everything you still love me?" she replied "Because your so obsessed with me still you break in here and leave little love tokens?" The smirk vanished to be replaced by one of bewilderment, "Hang on a minute, I've never been back here since I left the keys weeks ago, I never left anything, I've never been near you!" he protested. Unfazed by his denials she moved to next part of the plan, "Whatever Justin, I didn't think you'd be man enough to admit it but it still leaves us with the charges and I'm sure that you wouldn't want to be joining me in the dock?" The smirk, temporarily banished, returned "If you think you can prove perjury, you just go ahead and try, I think you'll find they'll be more inclined to believe me after my performance in the witness box!" "Ah" she said "I think you'll find my performance to the insurance company will just about match anything you could do" He looked puzzled "Insurance?" "Oh yes" she said "my conscience has been pricking me since this whole thing began, covering for you last summer over the explosion. Mrs Hunter was always convinced you were behind it but when me and you concocted our little defence she was persuaded it was Macki, don't you remember?" He stared at her, she stared him out "But none of that's true, it was Macki, the pictures proved it!" I know that, you know that but it would be so easy to twist the truth don't you think? Macki's not here to say either way, and it would ring true coming from me, lets face it if everything you've told the police is true then it would make sense I was so infatuated with you I'd do anything to get you off the hook, even conspire to dispose of the one person who could say different?" He took a sharp intake of breath, shocked by her suggestion he could have murdered Macki, shocked that she could have used that against him. She steeled herself to continue, "The insurance company paid up for the damage but they never completely close a case if there's a possibility the culprit could be caught, you of all people know the results of arson, so sad to think you could go to prison for it when..." she stopped, she didn't think it would be this hard, to throw at him Mel and Sophie's fate, it was all she could do not to say "Sorry", she had known how to hurt him and hurt him deeply but this was war and no place for the innocent. He had swirled away from her at the mention of his sisters, but now he turned back face taut and angry but tears glinted in his eyes "You...bitch!" he flung at her, she took a step back but he made no move to approach her, they stared again and she wondered how they had come to this, tearing shreds from each other. "I'm giving you a chance to think about it, about giving my baby a chance, I'm due in court this morning, it's the last preliminary next time it's for real, I don't want that and I'll do anything, anything Justin to ensure this baby doesn't start life behind bars. So think about what I've said, I've got nothing to lose" She walked past him and opened the door wide, he waited for a moment then stalked quickly past her and down the stairs. She slammed the door shut and collapsed on the sofa, leaning back and letting out her breath with a sigh. That was the hardest part over, now all she had to do was wait. She heaved herself up from the sofa and went to fill the kettle, as she waited for it to boil she glanced towards the window sill and the tall glass vase holding a single rose.
The outer door slammed shut behind him and he leaned against it, his breath rasping in and out. She couldn't be serious, all that stuff with Macki had been safely buried last year. Mel and Sophie? He wouldn't let his mind go there, no, she was grasping at straws, a final attempt to browbeat him and he wasn't playing ball. He pushed away from the door and glanced around to see if anyone had noticed him leave but the village was still deserted. He jogged across to the steps, bumping into Calvin leaving for work, he bent double rubbing his side and looked up at him, "Ran the last bit too fast..." he muttered "Stitch" Calvin's suspicious look switched to one of mild amusement and shrugging his shoulders walked off. Justin stood up and grinned, it was all too easy but then he'd learned from a master. He looked across at the flat, she'd get what was coming and he doubted she had the bottle to grass him up over the explosion. She was losing it though, all that stuff about leaving things in the flat? He laughed and ran up the last few steps, as if...
"What happened to the rose?" Becca demanded, dumping carrier bags on the kitchen floor. "What rose?" replied Nancy swinging round from the sink, her hands dripping soapy suds onto the floor "Careful, you're making a mess" Becca was distracted and it wasn't till later she returned to the subject as she stood at the sink peeling vegetables whilst Nancy hovered around Foz as he concentrated on stirring the pan from which appetizing smells emanated. "Mmmm that smells good
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