Author's Notes: Because of recent events at the school, the wards have been changed to allow apparation to outside the school's boundaries only.
Forgiveness Sought, Faith Restored
The dim room in the last house on Spinner's End was, for the most part, quiet. He could hear Wormtail shuffling behind the bookcase. Whether he was coming or going, or just spying, was not of concern to the man collapsed on the worn sofa. The fire was just receding from his nerve endings. He would give himself another few minutes to control his muscles and then he was definitely having a drink. Or two.
The Dark Lord had not been pleased. Oh, he was overjoyed to hear of the demise of the Old Man. But, his instructions had not been followed to the letter. His permission had not been given to Snape to take matters into his own hand. And he had been furious to learn of the Unbreakable Vow. No, the Dark Lord had not been at all pleased about that.
Severus snorted softly. He could sense the paranoia emanating from the Dark Lord when he heard Narcissa's stuttering explanation of the Vow. Though how He could imagine that Snape and the Black sisters would ever attempt a coup was beyond ridiculous. Of course, he had known within minutes of his first audience with the Dark Lord after His return that He had become even more paranoid than the first time around. And that was saying something.
Flexing his fingers, he felt a small wave of relief wash over him that he had endured the shortest session of Crucio, owing to the favor bestowed on him for killing the Old Man. He wondered briefly if Draco or Narcissa had regained consciousness yet. He was fairly sure that Bellatrix had. Not that he had any concern for their welfare.
The shuffling became louder until Severus could no longer ignore it. He sat upright, ignoring the pain shooting through his limbs. He adjusted his cuffs and picked up a book by the time Wormtail had pushed the bookcase back to reveal the stairway.
"Ah… Severus… I didn't… I thought you might be… I wasn't expecting…."
"Yes, what is it Wormtail?"
He could see the barely concealed disappointment on the shorter man's face. He knew that the pain this was costing him was worth seeing that look on the little rat's face.
"I was… I'm just… I'm going out. The Dark Lord asked me to perform an important mission."
If it wasn't taking all of his energy to remain upright, Severus would have laughed. As it was, all he could spare was a sneer.
"Oh yes. It's very important I'm sure. What was it again? Ah… right. Seeing Narcissa and Draco home. A very sensitive and important matter. Be sure not to muck it up, will you Wormtail?"
The vermin huffed a few times in some caricature of self-importance. And then knowing he was no match in a war of words, he left. Making sure to slam the front door. Severus counted to ten and collapsed back onto the couch.
He had two hours at least. Knowing Wormtail, he had the rest of the night. Plenty of time to do what he had to do. What needed to be done. He would continue to pay the debt, though he would have to repay a new debtor this time. Plenty of time. But first, a drink.
Xiomara Hooch stood in the doorway, watching silently. She knew better than to disturb this small moment of peace for the woman relaxing in front of the fire.
"Oh hell."
Hooch couldn't help it. She laughed. She tried to look contrite from her position against the doorframe in the face of the stern gaze focused on her. But she knew she was failing.
"I'm sorry."
"What for? For laughing at my failure or for laughing at this ridiculous attempt at knitting?"
"It is strange, don't you think? I mean you are a Mistress of Transfiguration and yet…."
"And yet I can't even knit a damn pair of socks. Oh sod it. Just remind me to pick up a pair at Gladrags."
"Don't you think he has enough socks already?"
"Well of course I do. But he likes them. And he could certainly do with some cheering up. I don't think anybody needs to sit through another hour of Dobby's crying. Unless you are volunteering, Mara."
"Nope. I'm not. Socks at Gladrags on the list."
The two women fell into a comfortable silence while the aborted knitting attempt was cleared away. Hooch poured them each a glass of brandy and waited for her companion in front of the fire. When the other woman sat down, Hooch noted the furrows were deeper on her forehead, the circles under her eyes another shade darker. She sighed, knowing that she would have a hard fight in front of her.
Xiomara Hooch was known as a tough woman. Her years of Quidditch had only cemented that perception. But she knew when it came to strength of character and determination she was nowhere near the woman she loved. She sighed again.
"Minerva, I've been thinking that we should go away for…"
"No."
"… A few days."
"Mara, I cannot just run off on some holiday now, and you know it. There are too many things that need attending. At best, it would be foolhardy. At worst, well… I don't even want to think about that."
Minerva's face softened suddenly. She had spent so much time lately seeing to everyone else's needs that she had forgotten to put the façade away. She knew that Mara was worried about her. Knew that she must look almost bedraggled with the hours she was keeping. Knew that Mara's intentions were good, despite their implausibility. She smiled and shook her head slightly.
"Well then you can at least go to bed. Right now."
"My dear, your attempts at seduction used to seem a tad more subtle."
"Funny, Min. Very funny. I'm serious. Please, at least do this. Go to bed and sleep a full night's sleep. I promise I won't nag you about it again. For at least a week."
Minerva was so very tempted. But, there was still so much to be done. And she had the meeting with the Board of Governors tomorrow afternoon.
"You'll be no good to anyone if Poppy gets a hold of you and puts you in the infirmary."
Watching Mara play her trump card of Poppy, Minerva knew she was beat. And truth be told, she was fairly glad of it. She sighed, a bit too dramatically for her normal kein, and stood. She finished the brandy and had just turned to set the glass down when she saw it. The glass crashed to the floor and shattered.
Severus had never been known for his patience. At least, not by those that knew him with any regularity. A stranger could be fooled into thinking that the crossed arms and casual sneer meant he had all the time in the world to wait for a confession or an explanation. But the truth was that Severus found fidgeting and pacing to be signs of weakness. And he never displayed weakness. No matter the situation.
Even with no one about to see, Severus remained standing stoically by the fire. Waiting. If he were a religious man or one prone to such displays of faith, he might have prayed that he would get an answer. But instead, he sipped the firewhiskey and went through all the possible reactions in his head. He was still surprised when he received his answer and the form it took.
The silver mist that glided into the room was the very last thing Minerva McGonagall had ever expected to see again. So great was her surprise at this call from the man she thought she had known that she simply stood in silence watching as the vapour slowly disappeared. After the last wisps had faded she managed to regain herself and she reached for her wand.
"What the hell does he think he's doing?"
"I don't know, Mara. But I intend to find out."
The glint of steel in her lover's eyes held Hooch in its spell until she was too late to do anything but grasp at the empty air where Minerva had just stood. She had never before felt so helpless. There was no telling where Minerva had gone or how to go about tracking her. Pouring herself another glass of brandy, she sat before the fire to wait.
The faint pop had barely been heard before he felt a hand slap him hard across the face. He turned to face his attacker and found himself looking at the end of a wand. She had nerve; Severus had to give her that. Of course, he had counted on that to begin with.
"You do know how to make an entrance. I'll give you that."
He took a small step backwards and kept his hands in front of his body as he did so. He could see the rage clearly on her face. She kept the wand pointed at him as she slowly took a breath. He could see the traces of despair around her eyes looking for cover. And for a moment he felt sympathy for this woman. For what she had lost. For the struggle and the mantle she had inherited entirely against her will. But he did not show her this empathy, this echo of compassion; because he knew she would never accept it. Especially not from him.
"How dare you use that signal to call me?"
"Minerva, we don't have much time. I know that you would like nothing better than to rake me over the coals. But we don't have the time for that now. I need to tell you of the Dark Lord's plans before Wormtail returns."
"What on earth are you playing at Severus? You don't expect me to believe that you are anything more than the pathetic servant of a madman, do you? You killed Albus Dumbledore. You didn't really think that I would I believe anything you had to say."
"Then why are you here, Minerva?"
The question caught her off guard. Why was she there in that rundown little house staring at the wizard who had killed the greatest man she had ever known? A tiny voice in the back of her head tried to answer but she shoved it aside. She didn't want to admit, even to herself, the pull of old loyalty she had for this man. She couldn't bring herself to remember that brief flash of fear for his safety when she had seen his patronus, before the anger and the impotence she had felt since seeing the crumpled body of Albus Dumbledore had taken control.
"Because you invited me, Severus. How else would I be able to get close enough to you to bring you back to the Ministry?"
"You know that's not going to happen."
He let the silence she offered consume his last words. His wand was still up his sleeve. He knew that she already knew that and was prepared to strike first before he could use it. Severus was also aware that of the many people who were looking for him, she was of a select few who could actually manage the job. But she hadn't stunned him when she first arrived. Instead she had slapped him. And that meant he had a chance to convince her.
Severus began to speak to her with the honesty and trust she had given him fifteen years prior. He explained about the Unbreakable Vow and the manipulation of Draco Malfoy. He told her of the meetings with the Old Man and the promise extracted at a cost he never thought possible to pay. He told her exactly where she could find the Old Man's memories of their plan for confirmation. As he spoke, he looked into those old grey eyes that had offered solace and redemption before, and found them as open as they ever were to him.
Minerva absorbed his words at face value. She knew that perhaps she was as willing to hear these words from him as she was because she had wanted to believe. She had wanted there to have been purpose in all this. She had needed desperately to feel that she hadn't been completely abandoned by the men she had worked with and fought with and been closer with than any others for such a long time. She understood that whenever she looked at this man she would always see the shadow of that little boy who had been angry at everything because it was all he had ever known.
As he finished his tale she noticed that her wand now hung loosely from her hand at her side. She waited a moment to be sure he had noticed. And when he did nothing to pull his wand on her, she gave over to the desire to believe his words and to believe in him once more. Her voice, when she found it, was choked and barely above a whisper.
"Was it horrible? The other night. I can't imagine."
"He had to beg me to do it Minerva. I… I almost lost my nerve."
Suddenly they were both transported back two years. To a horrible night full of death and misery where a young man had lost his life for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and where another young man had lost his last bit of innocence as a pawn to restore the greatest evil seen in decades. They could both remember the whispered orders and the missions they undertook that evening. Severus had fared much worse, enduring pain and torture for keeping the Dark Lord waiting. Each could recall that heavy hour before dawn when they had met on the grounds returning from their errands.
Minerva could see the pain etched through every muscle of his body. She could hear the thickness of his voice. And she could feel the pride she had felt for him then. Her body had ached with a need to ease his suffering. To show him that friendship and love were truly worth the effort.
Severus could feel her aged fingers combing through his hair, the gentle touch of her hand on his face. He could sense again the longing for her consolation, her acceptance, her understanding. He was again soothed by her presence and her promise of comfort. He could hear the shushing sounds she'd made in his room as he had let the self-doubt overwhelm him, as he had confessed he didn't think he could do this again. And how her words then had become his mantra: "You will do it, because you must. And I will always be here when you come back." And she had. Every single time, she had been there in his quarters waiting.
As she was now, here in his home. Waiting to help him through this next decisive stage of the war. Just as he would continue to make her proud, to do the dirty work that no one else could dare. With the silent understanding shared by people who have been to the underworld and back again, she placed her hand on his arm and he placed a dry kiss on her forehead.
Their camaraderie restored, Severus set about outlining all he knew of the Dark Lord's plans and to tell her of the absolute necessity that Hogwarts remain open. Minerva promised to do her utmost to see to that and assured him she would make the necessary changes to bolster the school's defenses. They strategized the next few moves and contingencies they could make, knowing it could be months before they might meet again until they both felt as confident as they could in such matters. Sensing that their time was almost up, Minerva stood from the sofa where they had plotted.
"Thank you, Minerva. For believing me. For… believing in me."
This show of vulnerability cemented her faith in him and she let the peace of mind she'd been searching for settle into her bones.
"Thank you, Severus, for doing what no one else could have done. For what had to be done if we are to have any chance at survival."
He watched the wrinkles around her eyes multiply as she smiled serenely at him. She would never know that it was this act of trust that would keep him on the right path through the dark hours to come. She followed the calm as it took hold in his features. He would never know that it was this moment that would be her ray of hope through the coming despair.
Neither would truly understand what they had given each other: the will to see this wretched business through to the end.
"The wards will let you out. You needn't worry about splinching yourself."
"Severus, do be careful, won't you?"
"Aren't I always? You just make sure you let that old Harpy take care of you now and then."
A brief squeeze of his arm and she was gone.
Hours later when Peter Pettigrew returned to the house on Spinner's End he was greeted with a sneer and a suggestion that he take himself off to bed before spoiling the pleasant evening reading the owner of the house had been enjoying. But not before fetching some Elfin wine.
The squeeze of her shoulder woke Xiomara Hooch with a start. She knew from the look in her lover's eyes that she would receive no answers about the night's activities. There would be no invitation to ask questions anytime in the near future. But the woman she loved seemed safe enough. And the offer to move to the bedroom was accepted gratefully.
The End