The Happily Ever After
Hands intertwined between us, my Bella and I walked slowly down the narrow corridor. As we reached the low doorway at the end, I turned to face her, guiding our hands to stroke the satin of her cheek.
"A night for celebrations," I said in a low tone. Having been worried for her safety for so long, tonight truly was a night for just that. I caught her chin and leaned into her beautiful face, hoping to catch her lips in mine.
"Wait," she uttered hesitantly, using the full force of her newborn strength to ensure I complied. My words stuck in my dry throat. She'd never refused me before. I felt a cold dread settle in the pit of my empty stomach. What if she had finally seen the danger I constantly brought her? Irrationally, I arranged my face into a pout and steeled myself to beg.
"I want to try something," Bella qualified and in doing so replacing the ice shards in my torso with a calming relief. I subconsciously twisted the simple gold circle on my fourth finger, reminding myself that she'd chosen me just as I had chosen her. Confused and frozen to the wooden floor, I waited for Bella to continue. I opened my arms in a gesture of assent with confusion dominating my expression.
Instead of answering my unspoken questions, Bella placed a small hand on each of my cheeks, relaxing my being with her touch and slowing my racing thoughts with her presence. A look of intense concentration hardened her gentle features and her eyelids closed, their lavender hue hiding her dark amber eyes from me. I opened my mouth to complain when I felt a gentle flutter against my consciousness. Its warmth interested me and comforted me immediately, imprinting brilliance upon my brain on impact. Butterflies of liquid warmth assaulted my being with tenderness and beauty and I closed my eyes to better take in the new sensations. I didn't dare hope that my prayers were finally being answered for I would be crushed if my hope were revealed to be empty. But I couldn't help it. The flutter was so special, so intangibly and fundamentally good that I let myself hope anyway. I kept my insufferable guard down, against my usual habits.
Edward... Keep going... Nearly there... Push... Carry on...
The words were in the single most magnificent tone I had ever picked up. Pure and gentle yet assertive and fascinating, they were so Bella. My frozen heart swelled as I realised that the first word I'd heard in her mind was my name. She enunciated it so perfectly in her mind's eye, punctuating my name with the feeling of reverence within her mental voice. I knew that feeling well.
Her mental voice was so beautiful. The tone was similar to her spoken voice which allowed the purity of her character to manifest itself in my mind. I was in wonder, as was usually customary in her presence.
"Bella," I gasped, my eyes widening in shock.
Ok Bella. Focus. Specifics.
The effort she expended was endearing. For the strongest person I know to try that hard required awe on my part. My every cell was alive with excitement, blazing gold in the blanket of the night. I waited impatiently in anticipation of her next thought.
Instead, I felt myself transported to a familiar room. Through the dirty film of human eyesight, I found myself swimming through a confusing mass of green and white as my, Bella's, head twirled gracefully and my location became apparent. She'd taken me to Forks High canteen, the greater part of her focus on my face across the room.
Unlike the others of her kind, Bella was studying my family and me with interest and purity, wondering which she thought was the most beautiful. My heart swelled to find her conclusion, that I was her favourite. She thought I was beautiful, before I even knew her name. Through her eyes, I heard Jessica dish the dirt on my 'scandalous' family and was surprised to find just how pure her mind was, for she felt defensive of these 'beautiful strangers.' She felt the connection before I did, lost as I was in self loathing and restraint. Trapped in her brown eyes as the memory faded into blackness, I knew my face displayed my awe at the beautiful creature stood across the doorway from me.
Mind open, I awaited the next delve into her memories with great impatience. Soon, the colours once more created a picture. I saw my face again but this time, even to human eyes, I could see the murderous torrent of anger behind the black irises. Bella's recollection recognized this feeling coming off me in waves yet I could only detect calmness and trust in her. Despite the venomous hatred she could see in me, she still thought I was beautiful and wished only for my anger to subside. She didn't recognize the fact that she'd joined the real monster in my car and left the pretenders behind on the Port Angeles Street. She felt calmed by my very presence and trusted me, when my trust was so low and my anger was so high. The colours faded and died as we drove away from Port Angeles into the long winding night.
I opened my eyes to the present and was stunned by her incredible beauty. Eyes closed and brow furrowed, she dazzled me without trying. I took a deep breath. I still found it hard to comprehend that this was actually happening; that after all this time, I could hear her mental voice. God, it was beautiful, so beautiful.
Suddenly, I was surrounded by beautiful flora. The purple and white flowers were beautiful, even through the frustrating film of Bella's human eyesight. Her entire being was focused on my face, which was shining to display my monstrous nature. That which I had struggled with for so long, the mark of a killer, she accepted in an instant. She thought it was beautiful as she laid there in our meadow, marvelling in my smooth skin. I understood in that instant. Bella had never felt fear in my presence. She'd always been sure of her love, so much so that despite the danger she was in, alone in the middle of nowhere with her most deadly predator, the thought of her safety never crossed her mind. I was truly astounded by her overwhelming trust and contentment as she lay in my foreign embrace. She trusted me so completely, even when I couldn't trust myself. I didn't deserve her.
My non-existent pulse quickened and my forced breathing stopped abruptly as the memory changed suddenly. I remembered what this memory was just before it happened. Bella was remembering a scene nearby the meadow. I stood pensively across from her, nervousness dominating my expression. I leaned in gently and Bella's excitement peaked. Her thoughts revealed her less than innocent memories of more ardent kisses since our first as the memory figures pressed lips, stone to flesh. I felt rather than remembered her excitement bubbling over as she attacked my face. I suppressed a groan as she remembered my wry expression and her beautiful afterglow. We both smiled innocently as the memory faded into blackness.
The gut-wrenching undertone to the next memory left me panicked. I wondered what was so significant about this memory, full as it was of pain and fear. I had thought that this was a stroll through our happy past, not a trip through the danger I had caused for her. I could see through the filter of her memories the pain that she felt and the blind terror coursing through her veins and immediately vowed to ensure she never felt that way again. Nevertheless, I heard what she attributed to be an angel in her gorgeous mental voice. "Oh Bella. No. No. Please." The anguish in my voice reminded me of much worse torment that I had suffered since our fateful meeting with James and I sucked in a dry breath which burned my throat in a way it hadn't burned for months. However, Bella soon cut to the chase, sensing my discomfort at reliving this particular memory. She fast-forwarded her mental slideshow to the burning she has felt when I placed my lips to her arm. I understood her purpose in showing me this memory; it was clear in the tone that she trusted me so completely. The thought that I may fail and kill her never crossed her mind, she was so sure that I would beat my nature and save her life. Hell, I loved her for it.
I took a whole second to close my eyes and focus my brain on the overwhelming waterfall of thoughts, a deluge to my mind. As I returned to Bella, she had moved onto the next memory. I recognized with familiar dread the aeroplane back from Italy. I had been under the impression at the time that she no longer wanted me and it was clear from her thoughts that she also believed the same. Despite this belief, she was still more blissfully content than she had been in months, pretending that I still wanted her. We'd wasted so much time in our silly delusions. We could've spent the whole journey re-learning each other when in reality; we'd both spent the flight worrying about the other's feelings. I couldn't blame Bella though as everything was my fault.
The next memory to follow was our wedding day. My heart swelled as she focused on my face and realised with astounding clarity how much this marriage meant to her. I remembered myself the gorgeous smile that owned her features for the whole day and was amazed by her intense joy that hid behind her impenetrable shield. It almost rivalled my own joy at the same thing. Almost. She lingered on the details of the wedding, the beautiful garlands, the feeling of contentness as we shared our first dance as husband and wife, the hilarity of cutting the too-large cake, more happiness as I held her and danced and lastly the quiet and lingering anticipation as we began the long journey to Isle Esme.
My body tensed as she remembered the shared happiness of Isle Esme. The pleasure I had felt was multiplied ten times by remembering our shared nights through the glorious filter of her memories. The filter added a magical tone to my wondrous memories and I realised with astonishment that she hadn't been lying on the morning after our first night. She really hadn't felt the pain of the bruises cruelly afflicted by my cold hands, only the bliss that I had been lucky enough to feel the night before. I had wasted so much time in my over thinking and mistrust of her thoughts. I should have listened to her. I always should have listened to her. The memories were still clouded by her human senses but coupled with my crystal clear memories; they increased my desire for her body tenfold. It took all of my restraint to sit still and listen, despite the beauty of her thoughts and the miracle that I was able to hear them.
The next memory was full of wonder, for both of us. Renesmee. The first time I had heard her, the first time I'd shown any affection towards her. Regrettably, I had hated her for so long. Thank goodness for Bella and her compassion, she'd given me the daughter I didn't deserve. In the memory, Bella regarded me with an air of wonder, silent tears of joy staining her starved face. She, as I, couldn't believe that I could hear Renesmee. Her whole being exploded in joy as I recalled to her that our unborn baby adored her. She remembered thinking that; at last, we were going to be a happy family. I still had my doubts at that point, but trusted her implicitly so let it drop.
It was with a shocking clarity that the next memory appeared. After listening to her human memories, clouded as they were by her human eyesight, I relished the complete beauty in her vampire senses. This image was shockingly clear and the feeling behind it was even clearer. She was studying my face with awe, with admiration and with devotion. In my perfect memory, I recalled the same feelings, except mine were targeted at another. Whilst in her memories she was staring at the hard lines of my jaw, intensified by her new sense of sight; in mine I was in awe of her full, rosy lips and I was stunned by her auburn waves, which now seemed to reflect every facet of colour from her surroundings, before I allowed myself to lose all sense of time and meaning as I became entranced by her ruby eyes, still holding the same incredible depth that they had when they were the beautiful chocolate brown. The same eyes regarded me with wild abandon, drinking in the first sight of their vampire life. She had stunned me ever since our first encounter and it appeared from her admiration that the same could be said for her also.
Woodland surrounded her next memory, not that I noticed. I was still too stunned by the fact that I could hear her to notice petty background details. We were upon the threshold and she was revelling in the granite cradle of my arms as I opened the small wooden door to our home. I saw what she'd negated to tell me earlier on, that instead of appreciating our family's handiwork fully, she'd been sharing my not-so-innocent feelings of lust. I was glad that I'd managed to reach the island-style bedroom before acting upon my feelings, though had I known that she'd been feeling them too there would've been no way of lasting that long. She continued the memory until she reached my guttural moan as we finally realised that we were, for the first time, completely alone with no boundaries to contain our love. At that point, the tightly wound knot of control within me snapped and I dived at her lips, unable to contain my adoration any longer. To my great disappointment, her elastic shield returned to its comfort in her head and I lost the gentle tone of Bella from my consciousness. The wonder left a dull aftertone, like the emptiness after saying goodbye to a good friend. I could feel the pout begin to form on my stone face.
"Oops, lost it!" Bella remarked, remorseful.
"I heard you. How? How did you do that?" I asked. I was still stunned by the miracle that had taken place tonight.
"Zafrina's idea, we practised it a few times." she answered with the same voice that I'd always loved, but loved even more after being able to hear it inside her head with the same innocent and beautiful tone.
"Now you know," she elaborated, "no one's ever loved anyone as much as I love you."
"You're almost right. I know of only one exception," I replied truthfully. I was stunned by the depth and intensity of her love but knew that my love for her was more all-encompassing than that of anyone else ever. I was allowed the liberty to claim this truth, being able to read everyone else's thoughts and know how much they cared for their partners.
"Liar," Bella replied petulantly. Her pout was adorable and her full red lips enticed me into catching them. Kissing her was as powerful as all of our first times, yet it reminded me forcefully of what I'd just heard.
"Can you do it again?" I begged. She grimaced, the expression not suiting her delicate face.
"It's very difficult." She said. "I can't keep it up if I'm even the slightest bit distracted." It was my turn to grimace.
"I'll be good," I ventured. I knew this would be a difficult promise to keep.
Bella set off from where I had interrupted. She lingered on the details of our first night, recollecting the ecstasy she had felt at our union.
The worship in her memories of our first evening as equal partners snapped my hesitant control once again and the urgency with which I captured her lips this time would have shattered her human face. Her vampire face did not shatter however, but it held firm and responded to my enthusiasm.
"Damn it," I broke off. Kissing her jaw, I contemplated whether I would ever fully master the art of control when it came to her. Probably not, I reasoned with myself.
"We have plenty of time to work on it," she responded to my unfinished sentence. My entire being was overjoyed at the thought of this expanse of time after so much worry that it would all be cut short. I was basking in the joy of today's miracles and caught up in her eyes when she reached up to catch my cheek in her pearly hand.
"Forever and forever and forever," I murmured.
"That sounds exactly right to me," she agreed.
And then we continued blissfully into this small but perfect piece of our forever.
Ta dah. So yes, I'm still alive! Sorry for neglecting this account for so long. I have been working on both ff stuff and music stuff whilst also trying to revise for GCSEs and have a scrap of a social life at the same time. Then there's also the excuse of my overwhelming laziness too, I do apologize though. I would say that I'm going to upload more regularly but we all know that would be a downright lie so here you go: I promise to try to upload more regularly. Starting with a new chapter of OTR shortly, I'm fine tuning it tomorrow so wish me luck. Have a great day if you've made it this far through this stupidly long A/N! As per, all characters (and in this case even some speech!) belong to Stephenie Meyer :/ Thanks for reading, love you xxx :)