I Will Not

by emjo1

It's the first day of school, and the Rocky Horror gang is told by their teacher to write a list of things they should avoid doing this year at school, based on what they've learned the hard way. First one is Columbia. :P I do not own Rocky Horror, or Chapstick, no matter how delicious those two things are!

1. Columbia

I will not...

I will not wear my top hat in class.

I will not give everyone adorable pet names like "Coocoo Clock" and "Honey Bear" and "Fluffy Pants" because others think it's annoying.

I will not try to use Magenta's hair as a pillow, no matter how fluffy it is.

I will not jump on Riff Raff's back and pull on his hair like reigns saying "gidyup horsie!"

I will not bedazzle the cheerleader's outfits.

I will not lick others. No exceptions.

I will not break out into a tap solo during the National Anthem.

I will not pull up Magenta's dress to see if she's wearing underwear.

I will not show my breasts to anyone. At all. No matter what.

I will not sit directly under the lights in class, because some people think my sparkles will make them blind.

I will not buy all the muffins in the caf. I have to share.

I will not ask the art teacher to do finger painting as the final project.

I will not eat a tube of Chapstick for a quarter.

I will not aim my throws in gym at Frank and say "but he likes balls".

I will not have giggle fits in French class when the teacher says "phoque".

I will not give sex favors to someone to pay for my field trips. Or anything.

I will follow this list of rules and have a fun an awesome time at school!