A/N: This is my first attempt at a songfic, I'm a bit hesitant about them actually. But I think I did decent anyway, lol. Oh and I made Shego a bit OOC, meaning she won't come off so sarcastic. I figured she should be somewhat unhappy while reflecting, at least when she's alone. I love snippy Shego when she's around other people hehe. Oh who am I kidding, I just plain love her :P
Disclaimer I don't own Kim Possible or the song. The song is by Coldplay, called Fix You. And I think this song was used by someone to make a ShegoxKim fanvid, but that wasn't me.
Fix You
When you try your best
but you don't succeed
When you get what you
want but not what you need
Shego sits on Kim's rooftop, like she had done so many times before. This time it was different, only somehow the same. Shego used to sit up there almost every night, trying so hard to work up the courage to enter the younger girl's window and tell her the truth. She didn't hate her, anything but that. Far from it, but she never went through with it. She never told her how she felt, and now it's a moment too late. This feeling is familiar all over again, because Shego had tried to save her. She had truly tried, but Kim was gone. Her Kimmie was lost forever.
Shego won, to everyone else that's how it seemed. It seemed that Shego got what she wanted all along, to beat Kim Possible, when all she wanted was to love her. Not despise her, like she was paid to, forced to put aside her feelings for what others thought she wanted. But now, sitting there, she knows that while she had won, had finally gotten rid of Kim Possible, she needed her here now more than ever before.
When you feel so tired
but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse.
Shego pulls her knees up to her chest, hanging her head low. She stares hard at the darkness, only to keep seeing Kim's face. Kim's hair, Kim's eyes...Shego doesn't feel herself moving anywhere but back. She longs to turn time, to undo what is permanently done.
When the tears come
streaming down your face
When you lose something
you can't replace
She continues to sit there, memories washing over her like a cold shower. The tears start to fall, not for the first time, but she had lost count of how many had come and gone. Lost count of the days, of time. She doesn't know how long she has been sitting there, and all she hears are Kim's last words as she was thrown off the mountainous cliff the two had been fighting on. She remembers Kim screaming her name, a terrifying earth shattering shriek as she was caught off guard by a kick to the chest.
After Kim disappeared over the side, Shego held her stance, waiting. She waited for who know's how long, but the hero never returned. She didn't make a comeback, she wasn't able to save herself, let alone save Shego.
When you love someone
but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all, Shego knows that is most untrue, at least for her. If she could, she would forget the whole thing, forget that night, forget Kimmie. But she couldn't, thoughts of the teenager never left her, and the pain only increased, fueled by her memories.
Lights will guide you
home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix
you
-Flashback-
After what seemed to be hours, Shego came to her senses. Kim still hadn't made an appearance, and with a heart stopping realization Shego ran to the edge. To where she last saw her red haired rival, and what she came to see tore her from the insides out. She stood there and stared at the lifeless figure so far below, the auburn hair blowing over the hidden face. Her limbs angled strangely, broken from the horrific fall.
Shego's screams cut through the moonlit night, as she called Kim over ad over again. Desperately wanting, needing the younger girl to move. In a whip of raven hair, She impulsively lunged herself over the side, in an attempt to get to Kim. To save Kim. But her plan was foiled as she felt arms wrap around her waist and pull her back. She tried to fight the arms, but she felt strangely weak, she couldn't even bring her hands to glow the eerie green they glowed. She screamed at Drakkan, as he flew them away from the scene, screamed at him to take her back. That they had to find Kim.
She had to find her, had to make sure she breathed again even if it took Shego's own life.
-End flashback-
But Drakken had not gone back, telling Shego the hero was gone. That they had defeated her, that she should be celebrating. But he didn't understand, and even if he did he didn't make any attempts to comfort the distraught Shego. She would rip through his neck if he did, Drakkon decided. So he let her be, to mourn the loss of the only equal She ever had.
And high up above or
down below
When you're too in love
to let it go
Shego feels the icy drops as they hit the top of her head. They roll through her hair, and into her suit causing goosebumps to rise and cover her green shadowed flesh. She raises her head to stare towards the sky, the rain hitting her face mixes with her still flowing tears. The moon glows brightly, just as full as it had been the night at the cliff. Light enough to let her see, and the images from that night refuses to leave her alone.
But if you never try
you'll never know
"Just what your
worth"
If only she had tried, if only Shego had been honest with Kim from the start. They would be together now, and the whole cliff incident would never have happened. Because Shego knows Kim kept similar feelings hidden underneath the dislike she showed. She saw it in her stares, felt it in the awkward moments when they somehow ended up rolled ontop of one another, faces so close Shego would have to shove away before Kim could close the space between them.
Why did she always pull away? She hated to admit it, but she was afraid. Afraid of what it meant, of what would or could happen if she let Kim do that to her. But now, she understands that she didn't have to let Kim do anything to her. It happened on it's own, neither one of them had asked for it and neither one of them had the right to stop it. Especially Shego.
Lights will guide you
home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix
you
