As You Wish

And on a night when she was playing hostess to two of the oddest females of her acquaintance, again (because a certain Amy Farrah Fowler wanted to have more "bonding" time with her girlfriends and wouldn't take no for an answer when she insisted on having a sleepover), Penny made a very startling discovery while they were watching "The Princess Bride".

The evening had started innocently enough, and there had been no uncomfortable incidents related to experimental lesbianism of any type. They had eaten their take-out, then Bernadette had whipped out a DVD from her overnight bag and declared that she wanted them to watch one of "the most romantic films ever". Amy had instantly agreed out of scientific curiosity (and her face had gotten that expression that said she was going to take very detailed notes about the entire experience), so Penny had popped the movie into her player and the three women had settled comfortably on the couch once the film started.

While watching the first few scenes introducing the story of Wesley and Buttercup, the following conversation occurred between the two guests (which Penny tried her best, but failed, to ignore).

"I'm afraid that I don't comprehend the rationale behind her sudden shift in affection. My extensive readings have led me to conclude that just because a certain person loves another, it is not a valid reason for the other individual to reciprocate those feelings. This Buttercup person seems to be rather precipitous in bestowing her affections on the Wesley character."

"Oh, but you don't get it. They've always had this spark between them. You know, with Buttercup teasing or making fun of Wesley all the time. And Wesley loves her so much that she can't help but love him back."

"But that does not make any sense. Logic would dictate that if a person feels affection for another, then he or she would not display this emotion through disdain or ridicule."

"Well, it's because Buttercup didn't know she was in love with Wesley until she realized that he loved her every time he told her, 'As you wish.'"

"Bernadette, I find your argument so inherently flawed that I will not even dignify it with a rebuttal."

"Oh, Amy, you just don't understand it! Penny, explain it to her please."

Startled at suddenly being dragged into the conversation, Penny floundered for an explanation that would satisfy both women. "Well, guys, feelings are just so confusing and mixed up sometimes that you don't even know what you're feeling until something happens that snaps you to reality. So, Buttercup may have been completely convinced that she didn't like Wesley because she's never thought of him that way, but when she found out he loved her, then she suddenly started seeing the good side of him, which eventually made her realize that she actually could like him or love him even."

Amy frowned at her. "I still don't see how such a thing could be possible."

"But that's the crazy, wonderful thing about love!" Bernadette trilled. "When it happens, you just get blown away."

Not for the first time, Penny wondered how on God's green earth Howard Wolowitz had managed to get a girlfriend like Bernadette. But she just smiled noncommittally and said, "Let's just watch the movie, okay?" She couldn't wait for this night to be over, but she had vowed to herself that she was going to get through it without a drop of alcohol, so she set her jaw and turned her attention back to the TV screen.

Amy opened her mouth like she was about to argue again, but three distinctive knocks suddenly sounded throughout the apartment followed by a familiar voice speaking Penny's name. Penny bolted out of the couch in thankfulness. Right now, she would take anything that would spare her from another uncomfortable question about feelings and love, even if it was talking to Sheldon Cooper.

"Hey, Sheldon!" she said brightly as she opened the door after the knocking had ceased. "What's up?"

"Oh, hello, Penny," the tall physicist from next door greeted her with a tiny smile. "I actually just dropped by to say goodnight to Amy Farrah Fowler. She mentioned that she would be having some 'bonding time' with you and Bernadette tonight. May I come in for a few minutes?"

"Sure." She gestured for him to come in and frowned because she suddenly didn't feel so glad that he was here to spare her from the women's company for just a few minutes. She frowned even more when she saw Sheldon looking down and smiling at Amy as they talked nerd-speak to each other. The frown turned into a full-on scowl when Amy asked if Sheldon would like to have breakfast with her the next morning and Sheldon, Sheldon!, replied quite gallantly, "As you wish."

And that was when the world turned itself inside out and everything changed for Penny.

Holy crap on a cracker! Doctor Whack-a-doodle was in love with Amy! There could be no other explanation for why he was giving her that look that on other guys would appear like constipation but was actually Sheldon's version of fondness. He loved her. He really did.

And—oh, my. This was not good. So very, very not good, at all. But, wait! Why was she freaking out like this? Why didn't she think that Sheldon being in love and having human feelings was a wonderful thing? He was her friend, for frak's sake, and she should be happy for him! And did she really just use the word "frak"? What was wrong with her? Why didn't the world feel right anymore? Did she stumble into one of the many universes that Sheldon was always going on about where he was in love and she was not too thrilled about it because—oh, god!

And when he looked down at her and said, "Goodnight, Penny", with that little twist of a smile and shut the door behind him, it was like a thunderclap that suddenly cleared up all the confusion in her head.

She was in love with Sheldon Cooper. And she totally blamed "The Princess Bride" for getting her into this mess.