It was the day before Iruka had to start his new job as a life science teacher at Edgewood High school. Iruka wasn't having a very good day so far, he fell down the stairs and broke a few fingers, he couldn't make it to the bathroom on time and he broke up with his boyfriend Akio. Even though these "problems" slowed him down he still had some time to get ready.
The next day Iruka walked to his new job as the life science teacher in a good mood, since he realized that he could molest his students. Iruka then talked to the principle Tsunade about his students and what he should teach about first. Iruka walked into the really small classroom and thought it could use some "redecorating". So Iruka put up naked pictures of men and women on one half of the room but on the other side he smeared his own diarrhea all over the wall.
"Oh shit!" said Iruka. "It's time for class, I need to put up the rules of the classroom and put porn magazines on each and everyone's desk." Suddenly a pink haired girl walked in strange classroom. "Hey cutie, whatcha doing Friday night?" said Iruka. "Oh...my..fuckin..god, I have two things to say why is there poop and naked people on the walls and why the hell are you hitting on your student!?!?" said Sakura. "Because a voice inside my head told me to" said Iruka.
Just then a group of three walked in, an ugly guy in sun glasses, a girl Hyuga and a guy with face paint and a dog on his head. "What the fuck?" said Kiba. "What's wit chu homie dog??" Iruka said crazily. "W-w-w-w-w-w-here's Naruto, I thought he was in this class?" said Hinata. "Someone has a stuttering problem, and who the hell is Naruto??" said Iruka. "Lets just sit down" said Shino impatiently. So the three and Sakura sat down, and found porn magazines on their desks. "AHHHHH!!" The four screamed. "What's the the matta ya don't like it playas??" said Iruka. "Uhh..of course we don't teacher this stuff is just wrong!!" said Sakura. "God damnit shut the fuck up until the other god damn students get the fuck here okay?!?!?!" screamed Iruka. At that moment the four of them realized this was going to be an awful year.
"What the…??" said Sasuke when he walked in. " God damnit I've been ova dis wit da uda students already so get da fuck in ya seat playa!" said Iruka. "Okay…." Sasuke said creeped out. Just then five people walked in, a short blonde boy with whiskers and an orange jumpsuit, a boy with tight green spandex, huge eyebrows and a dorky haircut, a girl with normal clothes but with two huge buns on her head, another Hyuga with very long hair and "probably" a boy and a fat boy with crazy hair and a scarf and dorky clothes, holding several BBQ chip bags. All of them were standing there in silence of their new disturbing classroom. "Okay maybe it's a little strange to ya lil playas but sit da fuck down because I ain't want ta explain myself again" said Iruka pissed off.
Eventually three more students arrived and sat down, one with red hair and eyeliner from the Loreal blackline and a psychotic look on his face, another, a girl with long blonde hair in a ponytail and a crazed look on her face for a certain boy in the back row and a super lazy genius with a black ponytail similar to Iruka's which Iruka really liked. "Okay, okay just sit da fuck down!" said Iruka. "What did you say to me?!?!" said Gaara angrily. "I say sit da fuck down bitch, or I'll bitch slap you on the ass" said Iruka. "You mean spank him like a gay freak?" said Shikamaru. "God damnit just sit da fuck down, right fucking now ya feel me?" said Iruka very mad. "Why would anyone want to feel you" said Kiba in laughter. "Well Akio did but I broke up with him since he didn't eat enough poop" said Iruka. The class then sat in silence.
"Guys listen up, you get fifteen fucking minutes to talk with each other okay?" "Okay" replied the class. Then Iruka left the room to eat some diarrhea. "Finally that dumbass Iruka is gone" said Naruto. "Yeah, he sure is a dumbass and really needs to stop teaching that's for sure" said Tenten. "What's that on the board..??" said Kiba.
Rules Of Iruka Umino's Class Of Poops Geniuses:
You must kiss me when you enter and exit the classroom at all times, even during emergencies.
Each day I will randomly select one person to strip in front of the class.
Before you go to the bathroom you have to let me lick your butt.
After you go to the bathroom you MUST tell me whether you had shit or piss.
You must look at the magazine on your desk for 5 minutes before class starts.
Each week I will pick a certain day where you MUST wear your hair in a ponytail like mine unless your hair is too short.
You have to lick another person's butt before class begins; it is completely your own decisions for whose butt you want to lick.
3rd Most Important Rule: You MUST let me molest you guys during the day, at any given time.
2nd Most Important Rule: If you don't turn in your homework on time I will have my way with you and yes you to boys.
Most Important Rule: Follow all the rules above and don't tell nobody about what goes on in this classroom no matter what, unless you want to go to the dunce corner. (Oh yeah, and in the dunce corner I molest and whip you!! What fun!!)
"Oh….my…fuckin….god…" said the class in horror. "What should we do about this" said Neji. "Have sex with Gai sensei??" said Lee excited. Everyone in the class looked at Lee as if he was some sort of gay freak. "What's the matter I thought that you guys were gay like me?" said Lee. "No Lee we're not gay…." said Shikamaru. "O-oh..okay then.." said Lee embarrassed.
At that moment Iruka walked in the classroom covered in his own diarrhea. "Damn, someone never learned not to eat out of a toilet!" said Naruto. "Excuse a me?!?!" said Iruka pissed off. "Hard of hearing?" said Sasuke trying to be cool. "AHHHH!!" Iruka screamed. "Dunce corner now!" said Iruka excited. "Oh shit!" said Sasuke and Naruto.
After an hour of the class having to watch Sasuke and Naruto be molested and whipped by Iruka, Kiba finally said "Stop it already, this is disgusting!" " Not disgusting just sexy..mmmm" said Iruka. Just then the bell rang. "Finally hell has ended" said Neji. "Children, your homework is to think about your sexy teacher and before you leave the classroom you must kiss me on the lips" said Iruka really excited. After the class kissed Iruka on the lips they threw up.