The Prank
"Explain to me again exactly why I'm here," Beckett asked as she looked around at the group of men all wearing eye visors and vests. There were twenty of Kevin Ryan's closest male friends and family members scattered around the starting area, weapons at the ready. None of the cops in the group looked remotedly concerned by this though, as the only things that these guns could shoot were pellets of paint.
"Well it's Ryan's stag night, actually more of a stag day, and you're one of the boys. We've made you an honourary male for the day," Castle explained. "Ryan, Esposito and I all agreed that it wouldn't feel right if you weren't here."
"Oh, yes that's right. It's all coming back to me now. You nagged and then guilt tripped me into coming. It still feels a bit odd being the only woman at a stag day."
"Don't worry," he reassured her. "Esposito told me that he's organized some strippers for this evening, so you'll have some female company then."
"Great," she said as she rolled her eyes.
The guy who had issued them with their guns and safety equipment, shouted out to get everyone's attention. As he went through the rules and safety briefing for paint ball, Castle listened with only half an ear. He glanced at Beckett out of the corner of his eye trying to hide the smile that was desperate to burst out onto his face.
The secret to a great practical joke was all in the preparation, he should know, he'd certainly done more than his fair share over the years. If you did your preparation right, then the victim never knew what was going on right up to the point where they ended up with the proverbial cream pie in the face.
He'd managed to get both Ryan and Esposito on a number of occasions but they were easy marks compared with Beckett. Somehow she had always managed to evade him, maybe because it was she was so good at reading people. It certainly helped in her professional life, and up until now it meant he'd never been able to catch her off guard and prank her. Today he intended to change that, this was such a good scheme that it would become the stuff of legends, it would be referred to as the 'Great Beckett Prank' by future generations.
Every one of the 'guests' on this supposed stag day was in on the joke. It had been easy to get Ryan and Esposito to agree to it, they were happy to pull a fast one on their boss. Ryan had explained the situation to his friends and family who had been invited, and they had all agreed to go along with it. The other cast in this little production he was staging were all recruited from Martha's group of theatrical friends, all actors so he was sure that they would be able to pull it off.
This first part of the day was just for fun. He would lull her into a false sense of security and then the trap would be sprung.
The group was split into three teams, each with a different color vest. Two teams of ten each and then Ryan was in a 'team' by himself because he was the groom. He had looked momentarily surprised by this, it meant that he would be a target for everyone else. For a second Castle was a bit worried that Ryan would be annoyed enough by the unfair odds that he would reveal the whole thing to Beckett but fortunately he decided to just go with it.
The cops in the group had been divided between the two groups so that both teams were evenly matched. Beckett and Esposito found themselves on the opposite team from Castle. The two of them shared matching evil grins as they stared at him.
"We are coming to get you," Esposito taunted as he pointed at Castle.
"After all of these years I finally get to shoot you and it will be perfectly legal," Beckett added.
"Bring it on," Castle replied with false bravado. He knew that if the pair of them came gunning for him, then he had no hope but he wasn't about to admit it to them.
The next forty minutes was utter mayhem as both teams raced around the maze, pelting each other with paint as they tried to capture the other team's flag while protecting their own flag at the same time. As predicted Beckett and Esposito seemed to specifically target Castle as well as Ryan. Working as a combo they had hit the other pair numerous times.
"Ouch," said Castle as he felt the sting of paint pellet hitting him in the ass. He put his hands up to admit that he'd been 'killed' (which guaranteed him safe passage) as he turned around to head back to his starting area where he would miraculously come back to life. He spotted his shooter, it was Beckett.
She mimed blowing smoke from the end of her gun barrel as she grinned at him. "There have been so many times that I've wanted to kick you in the ass, I guess that this is almost as good."
He didn't say anything as he walked away in defeat, she might be laughing now but he'd be the one laughing the loudest by the end of the evening.
Ryan stood in the middle of the bar, a cold beer in one hand and a slice of pizza in the other. He was a riot of color, almost as if some demented five year old kid had been let loose with pots of paint, in some ways that was exactly what had happened. The other combatants were also splattered with paint but not to the same extent, the only one who came even close was Castle.
"Looking good there bro," Esposito complimented him. "That bit of green on your ass really brings out your eyes." Esposito high fived Beckett as they both laughed at Castle.
"Very funny, teaming up to pick on the guy who doesn't have SWAT training," Castle whined.
"I don't know what you're complaining about, I'm the one who got picked on by everyone," Ryan said. "Those paint balls might be small but they can sure sting. I'm going to have bruises on my bruises, the number of times that I got hit. Lucky I didn't get hit anywhere that won't be covered by my tux. If I had bruises that showed up on the wedding photos then Jenny would kill me."
They all agreed that that was a situation best avoided. Jenny was a sweet person but even the mildest of women could turn into Bridezilla with the right aggravation. It was best to not antagonize the bride the week before the wedding.
Beckett took a long sip of the cool beer that she was holding. It was delicious, the cold beverage was like nectar sliding down her throat. Nothing could beat a cold beer after all the running around that they had been doing. She had to admit that she was enjoying the stag day so far. After paint ball a bus had taken all of them to Castle's bar. He'd closed it to the public for the afternoon, so it was just their little party relaxing with some drinks and food.
"Make sure you grab some food as well Beckett," Esposito warned her. "This is really the only chance that you'll get to eat. I've got lots of things planned for tonight and we won't get much of a chance to stop."
"What's on the agenda then?" she asked.
"Well, everyone gets an hour to go home, get showered and changed out of these clothes before they have to meet back here at seven pm. Then we start the pub crawl, Ryan here gets to down a pint of Guinness at every bar we go to from here to the strip club. And then the fine exotic dancers at the club will let him take one last look at what he's giving up when he gets hitched next week."
"Hmm, I might skip that part," Beckett mused.
"No way, you have to come for the whole night," Castle begged. "It's Ryan's stag night, he needs all the support that he can get. You aren't about to abandon him in his time of need are you?"
"Don't you think that having a woman come along on a stag night might be a bit inhibiting? You guys will probably find it less confining if I didn't come to the strip club as well."
"I don't have a problem with you joining us at the club," said Castle. "How about you guys?" He looked at the two detectives.
"No, not at all. You're practically one of the boys anyway," Ryan confirmed.
"See, no inhibitions at all," Castle smirked. "In fact see you with other naked women has actually featured a few times in my dreams," he joked.
In the end she agreed, mainly because with the three of them tag teaming her there was no way that she was going to get out of it, but she had a bad feeling that someone was going to regret it by the end of the night.
A/N: This will be a short two parter. I saw an interview where Nathan Fillion admitted that he's big on pulling practical jokes on his cast mates, so I thought it might be fun for Castle to try to do the same.