Fragments Of Forever

All of my other stories are kind of on hiatus. I think that I've grown as a writer so I'll probably either re vamp them or delete them. Let me know what you guys think I should do okay?

Rated M... ummmm there is violence... and rape... and slash eventually... so yeah, this is a very adult story. Please don't read it if these things offend you. Thanks and don't forget to R&R.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter... but I do own any AU characters and the plot bunnies.

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Chapter One: Soul Searching

Hunger. People say they know hunger but do they really? Hunger, like a gnawing ache in your belly. Hunger, that makes you want to cry. That makes you want to die.

Harry Potter rolled over and tried not to wince as he jarred his broken arm. He was that kind of hungry. He hadn't eaten in days. Almost a week. He was used to it though. The Dursley's never fed him much over the years.

Harry inhaled and tried not to cry. It seemed that all he was doing lately was trying to hold back the tears. He could live with the physical pain. He was nearly invulnerable to it.

But oh, the agony of loneliness. It struck him in the heart like a lead-tipped arrow. It ate at his very soul like poison, carving it's way into his very being.

Harry tried to be silent. He didn't want Uncle Vernon to come back. Who knows what he would do if Harry woke him up again for the second night in a row.

Harry had to stay awake. If he didn't the nightmares would come. They always did now. Before the accident, they only happened when he was stressed but now they came every night.

Harry didn't want to close his eyes. He didn't want to go to sleep. He knew that if he did, they would blame him. And why shouldn't they? He deserved it. He was the one who let them down. He killed them. Their blood would forever be on his hands.

"Ahhh!", Harry screamed. His skin crawled and his body shook with the force of his terror. He knew he had to be quiet. Quiet, or Uncle Vernon would come. But the tears, oh the pain, it would not stop. His soul. It hurt, he hurt everywhere.

It didn't make any sense. Why did he hurt so much on the inside when on the outside, he was flawless. He should be mangled, scarred beyond recognition. The agony should be outside, the way it was inside.

"BOY!" Uncle Vernon came crashing into the cupboard under the stairs. Harry looked up through tears to see his heaving frame fill the doorway. Vernon thrust his grotesque purple face into Harry's.

"What's all this bloody racket you're making? Do you have any sodding idea what time it is? I have an important meeting tomorrow at work and you're keeping me up again! I'm going to teach you a lesson you'll never forget boy! Never mess with Vernon Dursley!", Uncle Vernon grabbed Harry's collar and shook him.

Harry could feel his teeth ache as he was shook hard enough to get whiplash. He was startled to see a new look on Uncle Vernon's face.

It was a cruel look, the look one imagines on a murderer's face before they are killed. Uncle Vernon hated Harry but he had never given him a look quite like this one before. It didn't bode well for Harry's punishment.

Uncle Vernon grabbed Harry's torn and bloody shirt. The bone chilling sound of tearing fabric spurned Harry into action. "Let go!", Harry pulled back sharply, "Let go!".

Smack!

Harry blinked back tears as he cupped his stinging cheek. Uncle Vernon had never hit his face before. Harry could hear his heart pounding, a frantic fluttery beat.

"I'll show you boy! I'll Show you!", Vernon ripped off Harry's shirt and proceeded to yank off his pants. "STOP! STOP! NO! NO!", Harry had a sickening feeling he knew what was happening.

But that couldn't be right, could it? He couldn't be fighting Vernon for this, could he? Vernon couldn't want this, could he? He had hurt Harry in every way possible so, he couldn't want to do this could he?

Harry struggled wildly. He couldn't let this happen. This was all he had left. Everyone had taken so much from him. His name. His identity. His soul. His freedom. His family. His friends. His future.

Fate couldn't want this too, could it? Who would be so cruel? So vicious? Vernon pinned Harry to the small cot in the cupboard under the stairs.

Harry could feel it slipping away. The last piece of himself. His innocence. Until now Harry could believe that life would somehow get better. That miracles could happen. Now he knew different.

Harry looked up at the peeling glow-in-the-dark stickers that Dudley had stuck on the ceiling of the cupboard under the stairs. Harry could always remember this moment for as long as he lived.

This was the moment when he lost his innocence. This was the moment when Harry Potter was raped by Vernon Dursley in the cupboard under the stairs in number 4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey. This was the moment when Harry Potter lost his mind.

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