I don't own Left4Dead 1 or 2, Valve does. If I did own it, Bill would not be dead, among other things. This story is not related to or affiliated with any other I may post/write in the future, it's just for shits and giggles. The only thing that will carry over to what I'm planning to post at some point is Kat, because she was made long before this ever came up. Alright y'all, disclaimer over, enjoy the ride. That is all.

Update: Edited a few little things that were bugging me, but other than that still the same 3

The four survivors plus one had made another safehouse and they were all looking for places to sleep except for Kat, who was sitting on the floor cleaning her sniper rifle. She wasn't paying too much attention to the rest of them, so the sound of a loud thump as a body hit a wall on the inside of the safehouse made her jump, scattering the parts of her gun in the process as she looked around for the source of the noise. What she saw didn't do anything to make her feel better either, it only replaced her temporary fright with anger and frustration.

Nick had Ellis pushed up against the wall and the two were kissing passionately, hands all over each other, and apart from being completely disturbed by the display, Kat was also more than a little peeved at Ellis for not telling her. He'd allowed her to flirt with him and had even responded favorably on the occasions when he wasn't sending mixed signals and confusing her, so she was quite put out on discovering that he and Nick had a thing(she wasn't sure what else to name it) going. If looks could kill, Kat would definitely have nailed them both to the wall where they stood, but glaring daggers at them was as far as she went at the moment.

She attempted to ignore them and went back to her gun, finishing up and putting it back together, possibly making a little more noise than was strictly necessary but she didn't really care too much. The noise didn't phase the two lovebirds though. Kat heard Ellis' hat hit the floor and she looked up just in time to see them stumbling into the back room of the safehouse. She sat there fuming for a few moments, wishing she could burn that door, maybe Nick and possibly Ellis along with it.

As was often the case with the crazy hunter however, her anger quickly turned into fuel for her scathing sense of humor and twisted imagination. She picked up Ellis' hat and left the safehouse, carrying it all the way up onto the roof of the apartment complex by way of a gutter, hid it in a small utility shed and raced back down and scooted inside the safehouse before anyone knew she'd moved. She tested the door Nick and Ellis had disappeared behind, trying to ignore the sounds coming from the room, and found to her delight that they hadn't latched it when they'd attempted to close it.

She saw Nick's suit jacket hit the floor, and when no one paid her any mind she slipped into the room, grabbed the jacket and ran off to stash it with Ellis' hat. She repeated the process with every bit of clothing that was discarded, having to scramble to keep up with the growing pile towards the end of it. Then, when there were no more clothes to make off with she stationed herself just outside the safehouse door where she would be mostly out of reach of the anger management crisis that was sure to come, and relaxed.

She didn't have long to wait either. The first clue anyone had that something was amiss was Ellis hollering, "Alright, where is my hat?!"

"Fuck your hat!" shouted Nick, "Where the hell are my clothes?!"

Kat, satisfied that her antics had served their purpose beautifully, took off to go explore and see if she could find a safe route to the next safehouse. Wonder if they'll figure it out anytime soon, she thought with a small chuckle as she came slinking up to a gas station, Hey, I smell food…