Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia. . . . . . Sadly.

Chapter Rating: T due to Prussia's potty mouth.

Edited: 05/17, Thanks to Else and a Handy Anon.

10/22, To fix little mistakes.

Translations: More or less. I kinda know how to write in Spanish and French but to be on the safe side I have my mom and my French textbook. I have Google for German.

(French) Çà, c'était quelque chose …? - Why must life be unfair …?

(German) Gott, hör auf zu jammern - God, stop complaining.

(French) Je sais – I know

(German) jetzt spuck's aus - spit it out

(French) mon petit Angleterre - my little England

(French)mon amour - my love

(Spanish) yo sé - I know!

(Spanish) mi pequeño Lovino - my little Lovino

(French & Spanish) Qui a été certainement quelque chose. . . & Seguro que había algo. . . - That sure was something

Chapter 1

"Çà, c'était quelque chose ..." complained a French man as he finished his 10th bottle of wine.

"Gott, hör auf zu jammern." spat a loud Prussian, who was sitting next to the Frenchman. "It's not like this was the first time he denied you." The Prussian paused to remember what the exact number of the week was. "It's like the 98th time this week."

"Je sais . . ." The blond hair Frenchman agreed with a whine as pushed the bottles of wine away from him and laid his head on the table.

"Then, what's the fuckin' problem?" asked the Prussian before he gulped his beer rather too loudly than necessary.

"Gilbert, stop being so hard on Francis, he's suffering from a broken heart." said a Spaniard who was sitting in the middle of his two best friends.

"I don't care, if he suffering from a broken heart, or a broken penis; I just want him to stop complaining!" snapped Gilbert.

"WHA! You have a broken penis, Francis?" The Spaniard exclaimed in surprise, oblivious to the joke; "Well, no wonder he keeps denying you."

Just as if on cue, the Prussian's beer went out his nose, as he started to laugh at the clueless Spaniard's comment, while the said person in the comment just sighed.

"Awww, I just love you man! Though, not as much as I love the awesome me." Gilbert said as he gave a noogie to his friend.

"What exactly did I do to make you love me so much?" asked the Spaniard, laughing while trying to push Gilbert away, but to no avail. Gilbert, in response, just shrugged at the Antonio's question and turned back to the Frenchman in front of him.

"Any who. . . Francis, now tell us what is your fuckin' problem?" Gilbert repeated his question from earlier.

"Why must I tell you? When you already know. . . . "Said Francis as looked up at his two fellow countries.

"You told me the cause, but not the problem, jetzt spuck's aus, or you really will have a broken penis." threatened an annoyed Gilbert.

"Please don't break Francis' penis, he needs that!" Antonio exclaimed aloud. This in turn earned another chuckle from the albino and earning a few looks from the nearby customers in the bar.

The French nation sighed, "If, you must know my 'problem', mon petit Angleterre refused to return mon amour."

"So? Who gives a fuck, if he doesn't? Just get him drunk, and make love to him while he's drunk. Simple as that." The albino explained his plan, as though it was simplest plan in the world. Which to him, it was.

"No, Gilbert; sadly it's not that simple."

"Then please pray tell, what's the problem with my awesome plan?"

"Oh, yo sé!" The Spaniard exclaimed with a raised hand; much like a child wanting to be called on for having the correct answer to a math problem. "Francis wants to give his little Angleterre a reason to love him back, and to let him choose to have sex, which, he will probably enjoy 10 times better than, if he was forced, or was drunk!"

"How did you know the plan, Antonio?" asked both the Prussian and the French man at the same time.

"I used that plan with mi pequeño Lovi~! And look, now we make love every night!" explained a happy Antonio, while he remembered back his previous night with Lovino.

"All I can say is this. . . ."Started the Prussian quietly, as he looked directly at both countries in front of him. "You two are the worst excuses for a Country of Love, and a Country of Passion, I have ever seen! When I was still a country, I could've had anyone I wanted! Heck, I'm not even a country anymore, and I can have anyone I want whenever I want because that's how I awesome I am!"

Both the said Country of Love and the Country of Passion just looked at the retired country, as if he lost his marbles.

"Don't even comment on what I just said, even though, it was awesome."

"Qui a été certainement quelque chose. . . ""Seguro que había algo. . . "Francis and Antonio said at the same time in their respective languages.

"Well then, now that I know what I wanted to know, the awesome me is leaving." said Gilbert as he gulped down the rest of his beer and got up from his seat, heading towards the back exit, staggering a bit.

"Where are you going?" asked Francis, suspicious of the Prussian's motives.

"To America's, I need to get something."

"Which is what, if I may ask?"

"What is this? An interrogation?" exclaimed the Prussian as he walked out the door.

Francis sighed as he heard the door to the bar slam close after Gilbert, "That Gilbert, what are we going to do with him?"

"Force him to reimburse us." answered Antonio.

"For what?" asked a confused Francis.

"He left us his tab." said Antonio as he showed Francis, Gilbert's tab.

"237.76€ ($312.84)!"

~*~*~*~*~*~*America's House

"Hey, America! Open the door, the awesome me has arrived~!" exclaimed the loud Prussian with a loud bang on America's back door, for Prussia was too awesome to use the front door, but too drunk to use a window.

"Yo, dude! Long time no see!" America said as he opened his door. "What brings this hero this awesome visit?"

"I need a favor." Prussia smirked.

"What can this hero do for you?" asked America with a bright smile, eager to help out those in need.

"Can I have some of that 'special candy' that you, and Japan made the other day?"

"Sure, ol' buddy." America stopped talking just long enough for a bag of the 'special candy' to appear out of nowhere in the American's hands. "But, just to warn you, the product works great but we haven't fully tested it, so there may be some unknown side effects." American explained as he handed the bag to Prussia.

"It's alright what can a few side effects do to countries?"

Yeah I know that was horrible but when it's raining outside and the internet isn't working, what else can one do but type down random and stupid fanfics. Review please! And if you wish to edit my language abilities, go right ahead I'll be happy for the corrections. Also the more reviews I get the faster I will update. :) Oh This is place will be ranting from now on, starting Chapter 2 but first, do you guys prefer the translations at the beginning of the chapter, ending of the chapter or in parenthesis after it is said?