'What do you want, Liz?' he asks softly. Tears come to the surface. I'm finally admitting what I've been wanting all along. Tom may have betrayed me, lied to me and tried to kill me but it doesn't erase all the good memories.
'You', I say brokenly. Tom smiles sadly at me. 'I just want you. The man you were before I started working at the task force. It couldn't have all been pretend, Tom. Please, say it wasn't all pretend. Say that I'm not crazy', I cry desperately. Tears flow freely down my cheeks. Tom has his hand on my cheek and wipes them away with his tumb. I keep reaching out for him in order to keep myself in check. I fail.
'Calm down, Liz. Just breath', he whispers to me as I sob.
'Please...', I cry. Apparently he can't stand the sight of me breaking down any longer because finally he gathers me in his arms. 'I… I...', I'm crying too much to speak.
'Shh, of course I care about you. It wasn't all a lie, okay', he whispers against my hair. I fist his shirt and hold him tight. Tom keep repeating his words again and again. Until I calm down some. I sit up straight and look him in the eye. Tears still run down my cheeks but I don't care.
'Tell me', I say, 'tell me it wasn't all fake.'
'Of course it wasn't. At first it was. When we first started dating. After the heart in the dust… after I knew I had you… I couldn't help but care. You were so innocent, sweet and tough. You stopped becoming a job to me sometimes. There were days, week where I was just Tom Keen. That I had a beautiful girlfriend who would go to the ends of the earth for me and I'd return the favor in a heartbeat. Every time we touched, kissed or even just sat on the couch together, watching a movie… I tried not to love you. But there were always times where I failed. At one point I tried to get out of the job. We were together for a year, remember that anniversary?' he asks. I nod. Of course I remember. It was the first and only time we both called sick into work. We spend the entire day in bed. Making love, kissing, touching, talking. And then at the end of the day, Tom went to get take out. Only to return with a gift. Hudson. 'That wasn't pretend, Liz. I allowed myself to love you fully even it was just that day. That day I didn't think about anything other than pleasing you. It wasn't part of the job to get married. I just had to hold on to you. But before you worked at the task force I didn't hear anything about the job I had to do. It was always in the back of my head but it wasn't and active task I had to do. Until you found the box. That's when everything started to change. I knew you were onto me. And tried to forget because you loved me so much. But the doubt never left you. That's when I knew thing would end quickly', he finshes quietly. We look into each others eyes and I see so much in his eyes. Sadness, care, hurt, love. I lean forward and kiss him. Immedialty he responses. We just suck at each others lips for a while. When I try to deepen the kiss he pulls back.
'Liz...', he whispers. He's so close his breath tickles my face.
'I want you, Tom', I whisper. He keeps looking at me. Until he finally kisses me. With urgency this time. His toungue touches my lips. Asking for entrace. Of course I grand it to him. For the first time in months I taste him again. Feel his lips, his toungue and his hands on me. Within a few touches of his toungue he makes me moan. I move my hands over his chest to his neck. His hair is shorter since last time, he doesn't have his glasses anymore and he has a few scars I didn't know about. Gently I bite on his lower lip, seeing if it still drives him crazy. It does. He hisses and moves his lips to my neck where he sucks gently. He still remember that spot. That spot that makes my breathing heavier. That spot that makes me forget the world around me. Where it's just me and Tom. And right now it is just me and Tom. He knows my body like no men does. And he knows when to move on. He moves to sit in front of me. The look in his eyes is everything. There is love there. And I know. I know that this will complicate things. For once I don't care. I kiss him softly on his lips and move towards his ear. I nibble at his earlobe and I feel him untie my hair. It falls down my neck and immediatly his hand tangle in it. Gently pulling. Amazing. He moves his hands under my arms. Signalling for me to stand up. When I do he immedialy opens the button and zipper of my jeans. His hands move down my back, over the curve of my butt and takes my jeans off. I sit back down and let him remove my jeans. That's when everything heats up.
'Bedroom', I murmer. We make our way down there, almost falling over furnuture a couple of times. The kissing intensifies, we move even closer together. His erection pressing into my stomach through his tight jeans. When he closes the bedroom door, our clothes fly off. My shirt, my bra, his shirt. I open his jeans but he pulls my hands away before I can lower them. The feeling of bare skin against each other is comforting. He holds me tight as he lowers us to the bed. I'm lying on his jeast in just my panties, him in his jeans, fly wide open with his hardness evindent through his boxers. It's been far too long since I felt like this. We kiss each other slowly, deeply. Again his hands move down my back and again he takes my panties with his movement down my butt. Now I'm completely naked. My panties hang somewhere around my knees which is fine fore now. He gently kneads my butt with his hands. It makes me moan, makes me want him to make the same sound. Is let go of his lips and move towards his chest. I take on nipple in my mouth and suck and nibble on it. And that's when he moans.
'Oh, Liz''. I move down and stop at his belly bottun for a few seconds. In that time I manage to lower his jeans and boxers. His erection springs free and immediatly I grab it. Slowly I stroke him. So slowly it won't make him come but will slowly drive him crazy. I've never been one for giving a men oral sex but now... I just take the tip of him in my mouth.
'Liz, you don't have to. I know... ah', he moans as I move my teeth over the tip of his penis. I keep sucking, licking and graze my teeth over him for a while until he tells me to stop. I know it's not because he doesn't like it.
'You didn't have to', he whispers.
'I wanted to, Tom', I say back and kiss him. He turns us over so I'm on my back. He stands up to remove his jeans and boxers and my panties completely before he settles back above me. Tom moves his hands over my cheek, down my neck and stops at my breasts. He starts kneading one of them and places kisses on the other.
'Tom', I whisper. It feels like hours before he finally comes back up.
'You sure you want this?' He asks. I nod before flipping us over again.
'Do you have...?' I'm always shy asking for a condom. He knows this 'cause he smiles. He reaches for his bedside table and grabs one. I take it from him.
'Allow me', I whisper seductively. He shudders beneath me. The throbbing between my legs is becoming heavier by the second and hard to ignore. I move down a little. Sitting on one of his legs, slowly rubbing myself against it. As fast as I can, I put the condom on his with shaking hands. When it's on he sits up and kisses me roughly before flipping us over once more. Immedialtely I wrap my legs around his waist. We keep kissing for a while. His condom covered hardness pressing against my clit, creating delicious friction. With every move I start to moan louder. He looks at me, asking for permission. I nod and feel him at my entrance. He starts sucking at my neck and pushes forward. I hiss and moan at the same time. He looks up at me.
'It's been a while, Tom', I say softly. He kisses me to distract me from any discomfort I am feeling. This stinging inside me subsides fairly quickly and with a roll of my hips I encourage him to move. He gets the message and slowly moves inside me. Within a few strokes I just feel pleasure and start to give in to the pressure low in my belly. There are no words shared as we move together. When I feel my orgasm start I whisper his name. He knows. He knows I won't last any longer. He moves faster, deeper. Deep enough to hit an amazing spot inside me and his pubic bones touches my clit with every stroke. A few strokes later I come silently. Hard breathing is the only sound I make. My orgasm brings on his and he stills inside me. I feel his penis twitch inside me. Every time he twitches it give me a shot of pleasure running through my body. Eventually he stills completely. And so do I. He pulls out of me and removes the condom before laying beside me. The spasms inside my body continue for a while. Tom sees this because he slowly moves his hand up and down my belly. Calming me down. It feels like forever when I do. I open my eyes and see him looking at me.
'What?' I ask. He kisses me softly.
'I missed you', he whispers.
'And I you', I whisper back brokenly. Tears come back to the surface. I know this will only be one night. Just one night of him holding me. Loving me. Caring about me. Yet I wouldn't give it up for anything. One night with the man who has no secrets for me anymore is more than I've had for years. Just one night without lies is all I can get.