One Last Time
C&B fic (the best couple on gg!), and there's no specific timeline really, sometime after 2x23, "the Wrath of Con." Thanks for reading and I hope you like it!
Blair Waldorf sat in her empty hotel room in Venice, Italy, staring out the window with a blank expression on her face. She was determined to forget about all of her problems, but for some reason unknown to her, she kept replaying the week's events in her head. Despite her very best efforts, despite being thousands of miles away from him, and despite trying to convince herself she didn't care, she could still see the look in his eyes when he said those hurtful words. The words that nearly killed her to hear. The words that made her cry all night.
"It's just a game. I hate to lose. You're free to go."
He said it in such a way that made her truly believe him. His eyes seemed hard, careful, like he had thought of his words beforehand. It wasn't just something he blurted out. He meant what he said to her, and now it was over. Sure, they had been officially over for quite some time now, but things never really felt like they were done. In the back of her mind, Blair had always suspected that it was only a matter of time before they got back together again and worked out their problems. But when he said those words to her, Blair felt such a sense of finality that she broke down crying right in front of him.
And now, here she was by herself in a lonely hotel room, wondering what she had done to make him not want her. Blair remembered the days when her and Chuck were sneaking around, when he seemed genuinely interested in her. When he made her feel special and wanted. When he told her she gave him butterflies. Of course those were all distant memories of the past, but she didn't know why he stopped caring. What had she done wrong? At that moment, Blair felt a thousand insecurities rush back to her all at once. Like comments her mother had made to her, about being too fat or not looking right. Or the feelings from when she was with Nate, how he always ignored her and made her feel like she wasn't good enough. Or how she felt when she was with Serena, because everyone seemed to like Serena better. And then there was Chuck. She didn't even know where to begin listing the things he made her feel.
All of this made Blair so tempted to handle these feelings like she used to, to try and make herself feel better. She slowly walked into the bathroom, knelt on the ground carefully, not wanting to get her skirt dirty, and stared at the white toilet, wondering whether or not to do it. She knew that it wasn't right. She knew that she was past all of this, that she didn't have to make herself sick anymore, but she wanted to, just this once. She wanted to feel better. Just as she was about to stick her finger down her throat, she felt something wet hit her hand. A tear, maybe? She hadn't noticed that she was crying, but she knew why. It had taken her almost a year to get over this disease, and just like that, she had almost given in again. She needed help.
Quickly, she grabbed her purse and dialled Serena's number. Waiting impatiently to the endless ringing sound, Blair finally hung up the phone, realizing that Serena was either too busy or didn't have her phone on her. She began to dial another number when a painful realization hit her: there was only one other person who knew her secret besides her mother and Serena, and calling her mother was certainly out of the question. It was going to have to be Chuck. Unsure whether or not to call him, Blair decided that she needed someone to stop her from hurting herself, so she cautiously dialled his number, hoping that he would pick up. After two rings, she heard his low voice, and noticed that he sounded a little surprised she was calling him. Probably didn't expect to hear from her so soon after he hurt her.
"Hello?" He said, unsure that his caller ID was right. Hearing his voice made her heart stop, all of the memories of his hurtful words flowing back to her.
"Hey, Chuck." She didn't realize how upset she sounded.
"What do you want Blair? I thought I made things clear the last time we spoke. It's over." He said in a harsh tone, no need to string her along and upset her any more than he already had.
"That's not why I called. I-I just really needed to talk and Serena was busy. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called. Never mind." Just as she was about to click "end," she heard him respond.
"Wait, Blair, are you crying? What's going on, is everything okay?" He immediately felt guilty about hurting her, because she sounded so upset.
"I don't know. Well yes –technically, I guess- everything is fine. I mean, nothing has happened yet, I'm just worried that it might and I don't know what to do." She was speaking quickly, and panic filled her voice, immediately making him feel concerned.
"Blair, tell me what's going on. What are you talking about? Are you alright?" Worry was evident in his voice now.
"I almost did it again Chuck. I'm worried I might start again. I don't want to make myself sick, it just happens. What should I do?" She felt uncomfortable asking him about this, since they had never really talked about her problem, but she needed him right now.
Understanding immediately, he wanted to see her, to hold her and tell her that everything was going to be fine. "Blair don't do anything to yourself, please. I don't want you doing that again. Tell me where you are and I'll be there as fast as I can. You really shouldn't be alone right now."
"I'm in Venice, but Chuck, you really don't need to come all the way here, I really shouldn't have bothered you. Just forget about it, okay? I'm sorry I called. I'll be fine."
"Blair I'll be there soon. I'm sorry but you can't just tell me something like that and then expect me to forget it. I will see you soon and please, don't do anything to yourself before I get there. Okay? Promise me."
He was pleading with her now, desperately hoping that she wouldn't start hurting herself again. He could never forgive himself for purposely hurting her and telling her that she meant nothing to him. He knew that was the probable cause for this sudden relapse, and he felt compelled to undo his mistake. He needed to be with her right now, despite his plan to help her move on. This was more important than that.
"Okay, I promise," She said quietly.
And with that, he hung up and practically ran out the door, on the phone with his pilot ordering that the Bass jet be ready for take off in ten minutes. He needed to be with her as soon as possible.
After an excruciatingly long flight, Chuck rushed to the hotel that Blair was staying at and knocked on her door, hoping that she was okay. After a few moments had passed, Blair opened the door to let him in. She looked as though she had been crying, her eyes were slightly red, but it was also evident that she was trying to act as if nothing was wrong. Her hair, as usual, was perfect with every strand of hair in its place, and a fashionable headband was on her head. Her makeup was flawless, her lips the perfect shade of red, her eye makeup not the slightest bit smudged. Blair Waldorf was doing what she always did; she was trying to act perfect and strong. To most, Blair's smile may have seemed genuine, but Chuck knew her better than that. He could tell when she was upset.
"Blair, how are you? Is everything alright?" He said in a worried tone.
"I'm fine, really. I'm sorry I called, I didn't mean to alarm you. You didn't need to come all the way over here."
"You don't need to lie to me, I can tell that you're not fine. Just talk to me, please. You said you needed to talk to someone, so here I am."
"Chuck, what are you even doing here? Look, I'm grateful you came, but honestly, why do you care? You told me that it was all just a game, that you didn't care about me, and then you fly halfway around the world because you're worried about me? That doesn't make sense!" She said, a little frustrated now. She had been crying about him for nearly a week now, and she deserved answers.
"I'm worried about you, Blair. You're right, I don't think that we should be in a relationship, because all we do is hurt each other, but that doesn't mean that I don't care about you. We have been friends for 10 years, so when you call and say that you need me, I'm going to be there. Because we're friends."
He truly did care about her, but he knew that he couldn't make her happy. Even though being friends wasn't his first choice, it was still better than losing her entirely. She didn't need to know how much he cared about her.
When she heard him say the word "friend," it nearly killed her. He knew that she still loved him, and he still didn't want her. This immediately reminded Blair of all of those insecurities, of why she needed to call him in the first place, and she could feel the moisture in her eyes building again. Tears threatening to fall from the corners of her eyes again. She tried her best to blink them away, knowing that she shouldn't cry in front of him.
"Blair, please just talk to me. I can tell that you're trying to act strong, and usually I admire you for it, but you don't need to lie to me. I know you better than that. I can see how upset you are. Just talk to me."
"Okay, fine. What do you want me to say? I started thinking about some stuff that upset me a little bit, like my mom, Nate, Serena, some other stuff I guess. I don't know, it just happened, and I was about to do it again, I almost made myself sick, and then I was crying because I know how hard I've worked to get past all of this. I wanted to make sure I wouldn't be tempted again, so I called you to try and talk me down, I guess."
"Well, I'm glad you called. I really don't want you to hurt yourself, Blair. Whatever you were getting upset about isn't worth that," he said, as he pulled her into a gentle hug. "You have no idea how worried I was about you, it terrified me," he whispered in a low voice into her ear. He was just so glad that she was okay, he didn't mind how much it hurt him to hold her like this and know that they couldn't be together.
Just then, Blair remembered why she was hopelessly and irrevocably in love with Chuck Bass, because even though he was arrogant, womanizing, rude, and sometimes hurt her so bad she thought she could never forgive him, he could be the most loving and caring person in the world when he wanted to be, when he wasn't putting on some act. He made her feel like she never had before in her whole life; loved. He treated her like she was special, like she was the only girl for him, even though he had told her otherwise. Blair desperately missed this feeling, the familiar feeling of his arms wrapped securely around her, his low voice whispering in her ear. It was like all was right with the world, like all of her problems just melted away.
Slowly, Blair pulled out of their hug so she could look him in the eyes, and even though she knew she shouldn't, she couldn't stop herself from leaning in and touching his soft lips with hers. Their kiss began very slowly, but suddenly became more urgent as she noticed he wasn't backing away from her like she suspected he might. His arms worked their way down to her hips to pull her closer to him, and her hands were already tangled in his hair.
Knowing that he should have the common sense to stop this from happening, even though he really, really didn't want to, Chuck backed away a half an inch from her face and looked her straight in the eyes, both of their chests heaving from their lack of oxygen. Quietly, he said, "Blair, you're just upset, I really don't think we should do this. You know nothing is going to come from this, right? I already told you that this can't happen. We're not going to be in a relationship."
"Chuck, I'm not asking for a relationship, I just need you right now. I need this. It can be our one night in Italy, and then we can pretend like it never happened, okay? Just this one last time, please, for me," she asked pleadingly.
And with that, after a moment of hesitation, he pulled her towards the bed and kissed her passionately, echoing her words. "One Last time."
Thanks for reading, another chapter to come soon. Please review if u liked it or want to comment!