Author's Note: This prompt is going to contain spoilers from episodes 1-4, so if you haven't finished them I would avoid reading this. They are going to be somewhat subtle spoilers at points but in the end they are spoilers all the same; also note that I am taking some liberates with the timeline of episode 4.
Wow. This turned out a lot longer then I expected.
Tick.
Tick.
Tick...
I felt each second slip by, the associated hand on the clock slamming into place against the back of my skull as it slipped away into eternity; even with all of my powers I still could not truly slow the hands of time. I could reach out and rearrange them like the pieces of a puzzle, shifting and moving them to reflect my current desires but the image at the end was still going to come out the same. I could rewind time over and over again until blood poured from my nostrils and my brain screamed out for mercy but I could never take away the pain that I saw in Chloe's eyes. She was suffering, completely lost in the tail spin caused by a blue bag buried deep within the dirt, I could still feel the way her body had felt against my own; a small pain prickling over my forearms where she had dug her nails into my skin as she had clung to me. I had been her life line in the darkness that had attempted to swallow her whole right before my very eyes; the darkness had pulled itself up from the dirt, long tentacles reaching out to wrap themselves around her body hoping to tug her down into that bag.
But I had held strong, I had stared down that darkness for her as I felt her tears sear across my skin and her screams deafened in my ears. I had kept the darkness at bay as her body had fought through the agony that had been injected into her veins like hot acid. I had waited until her screams had quieted and her body simply shook as her exhaustion took over, the adrenaline that had kept us going up to this point could not save her now. The darkness that had clung so tight to her up to this point had loosened its grip, it shrieked away from the solid presence that I had thrown up during those terrifying minutes but my facade could only last so long and I felt its hunger and need as I stumbled with Chloe out of the junkyard, her body leaning harshly against my own.
I may have won this battle but there was only so much I could do before the darkness that licked at her ankles finally got the hand hold it needed around her throat and pulled her down where I could no longer protect her.
I had left Chloe in her room, felt the pain that swirled around my chest as she curled herself into a ball upon her bed. She looked hallow, the energy and light that usually flickered at the edges of her eyes had been stomped out; she stared emotionless now as if she had snuck so deep within herself that her body had simply become a mindless husk. I knew this pain would turn into rage, could almost imagine the fire that was slowly being fed within her soul. As I slowly clicked the bedroom door shut behind me I knew without a doubt that when I returned I would be met by a different person, the agony would still be there but the rage would be stronger emotion; she would want revenge.
She would want death.
I had barely managed to get Chloe back home in her truck alive so that hadn't been a option for me as I returned to Blackwall to gather any supplies that I could from my room. I didn't know what would be waiting for me after this night, every time I even tried to think past the here and now I felt as if my senses were being clouded by the impending storm, I could feel the tickle of static on the back of my neck as if the lightening was already striking the ground around me .
I could feel its desire to devour me whole.
By the time I had reached my dorm room, I was both physically and mentally exhausted; the trip had been one that I have made many times before but this time had been filled with bursts of physically exertion and enough silence filled moments for the weight of the situation to fully situates itself fully upon my chest. Each breath I took was labored, from simply being out of shape or from the emotions that continued to choke at my throat I could not tell. I watched as my fingers shook as I curled them around the door handle, the rattling the lose handle sent out into the hallway seeming almost too loud to my over sensitive ears. I squeezed my fingers tighter around the handle if on a reflex trying to force the rattling to stop, I watched as the color drained from my knuckles turning them white. I wanted to move, I wanted to go into my room and gather my things and get back to Chloe as quickly as I could but I felt like cement had suddenly been dumped over my feet.
I was terrified.
The realization of my fear forced the air out of my lungs in a strangled cry; I couldn't breath. My lungs screamed as I gasped desperately at the air around me; bringing my hand up to clutch at my chest my fingers tangling themselves within the material of my shirt. I dropped my head forward until I felt it connect with my door, the pain the flared up behind my eyes an almost welcome sensation to my sudden suffocation.
I was drowning.
I had stood strong for Chloe, bearing the weight of her pain and shelving mine in the back of my brain but now that I stood alone I felt the boards break under my feet as I dropped into the deep waters of my sorrow. I gasped and it had surged in through my mouth and nose forcing itself down deep into my body; it had forced all the air out as it had filled every space within me. My eyes burned as it forced itself free from my tear ducts, I felt the hot tears burn their way down across my face, felt as they dripped free of my chin seeking to spread their agony further across my skin. I felt the sobs tear through my body, my muscles locked up at the sudden assault against them, I could not move, I could not breath, I could not do anything but drown within my fear.
No matter how many times I reminded it never seemed to change, no matter how many pieces I moved or lives I changed I could never seem to reach her.
Rachel.
A seemingly perfect girl in the eyes of everyone who interacted with her, she was the light that shined in the darkness of this cruel world. She was good. And now she was gone. Her light snuffed out before I could even see it; I felt cheated. I hadn't even known of her existence until recently but now that I did I couldn't keep myself from feeling as if I had missed out on something great. I had wanted so badly to find her alive, to feel her light cast upon me and to chase away the demons from the days before. In my dreams she would smile and tell us that everything was alright; she would calm Chloe's fears and ease all her pieces back into place and by doing that she would free me of the burden of carrying Chloe's suffering, carrying her fears and doubts so heavily upon my shoulders.
I had carried a small torch deep within my mind for her, it had kept the darkness from completely taking over. The torch danced as if touched by the wind with each new clue and detail that we learned and occasion even threatened to go out but my faith that we would find her alive kept it lit.
As I stared down at the floor below me, the carpet seeming to dance underneath my feet as my eyes blurred from the tears; I watched as the torch went out.
And I was thrown into darkness.
I didn't know how long I had been lost in this darkness, felt my tears and heard my continued sobs but I could not find my way out. I had dropped down onto my knees at one point but could not remember when. The world was spinning around me, a loud buzzing starting to sound at the edges of my hearing and I knew that I was close to passing out. Did that even matter? I was already in the dark and would give anything to not feel this sorrow.
Could I just give up now?
Let the storm swallow us all?
"Max...?" My name echoed around in my brain but I could not find the strength to lift my head, I was so weak, so small. The universe was asking to much of me, I could not be the savior that everyone needed. I could not...
"Max!" The voice struck like a bat, it sent shockwave through the darkness and for a moment I thought I saw a crack, a light in the dark. Fingers curled around my shoulder and heat flared up across my skin under the touch and suddenly I could see again. I could see the floor, I could see my bent knees, the color of my jeans darkened by my tears; my view changed quickly when I felt the fingers tighten around my shoulder as my upper half was shifted around. I found myself blinking heavily through my tears, my eyes felt sore and I didn't want to have them open everything was too bright. She was too bright.
Victoria.
My eyes met her face and the look I found in her eyes pulled another ragged sob from my lips, I would have hunched back over from the force of it had she not been there to keep me up. There was too much in her eyes that I could not deal with right now, I needed her to just hate me and call me useless and confirm all these fears that were slipping in past my defenses but all I found was worry and concern, the emotions flirted across her features and left me feeling completely spent. She was supposed to hate me and I was supposed to hate her, this was how this world went. That is the roles that we had been given in this life and I just had to accept them as they were. I couldn't stand to see that look in her eyes, the same look that I saw when I had run away from her in that alternate timeline; she was not supposed to fucking care.
But she was also light in my darkness.
Light that I so badly needed right now.
Using what little energy I had left I surged forward and crushed my body into hers, my arms wrapped tightly around her neck as I buried my face into the skin of her throat. I felt her gasp of surprise as I nearly knocked her back off her feet from where she had been crouching next to me; but she somehow managed to stand strong. The moments moved past in bursts of quick moments and unbearably slow seconds, I could feel her chest move against my own, could feel her exhale of breath against my ear, her pulse pounded rapidly against my forehead and I found myself digging my fingers into the shirt around her shoulders. I clung to her as if she was the only thing keeping me from blowing away into nothingness and in a way she was, her steady heartbeat was giving me something to focus on, it kept me grounded.
It kept me in her light.
She should have pushed me away and in any other moment she would have, pushed me back and thrown out some snide comment but she didn't, she broke the rules of our assignment as easily as someone would a stick. She eased her arms around me, I felt the palm of her hand slide across the skin of my lower back, her fingers curling around my side while her other arm hooked underneath my knees. I had always known that she was a fit person, you only had to look at her as she stalked her way down the hall after taking a shower, the small amount of clothing she wore did nothing to hide the slender muscles the made up her frame. I felt almost weightless as she lifted me up off the ground, the new position forcing my body even closer to hers, I savored the warmth that seeped from her body into mine.
I didn't care where she took me, all that mattered in that moment was that she stayed with me, that she kept my demons at bay because I no longer had the strength to do it myself. I pressed my face forward more against the skin of her throat, breathing in a scent that was defiantly Victoria, something that I could remember in passing from hallways to classrooms. I always assumed that she would wear some expensive type of perfume and that it would so over bearing that it would become an annoyance but I found it to be subtle, it tickled at my senses with each ragged breath I forced into my lungs. It felt like it had been laced in some type of anaesthesia and with each inhale it laced its way into my blood stream, smoothing out the sharp edges of my agony.
She hadn't spoken since she had last spoken my name, as if she understood that this was a moment where words were not needed, that they would be lost and jumbled within this mess. So she remained quiet, I could feel her movements, knew that she was carrying me somewhere and when I felt her kick her leg back and the sound of a door shutting reached my ears I could only assume that we were in her room. Had she been in her room this whole time?
Had my sobs brought her to me?
I squeezed my arms tighter around her neck as I felt my body being lowered, a pleading gasp the only noise I could force out through my lips, begging her to not let me go. I didn't care if we just sat on the ground but I needed her to stay. She seemed to understand though, she hummed quietly in response to my plea, her fingers digging lightly into my skin to assure me of her continued presence. I kept my eyes screwed shut as I felt her sit down but before I could really register the movement my world was moving again, she laid her body back and I followed after her like a lost puppy. I felt the material of what only could be her comforter against my knuckles, felt as she readjusted our bodies until we both lay on our sides, her body curled perfectly around mine as I tried to sink myself completely into her.
She tucked her head against my own and when I felt the softness of her lips brush across my forehead and I found that I had no sense of the time around me; time could have disappeared all together and I would have not known. I was lost again but this time I was lost in everything that was Victoria, I felt her arms around me pulling me even closer than I thought was even possible at this moment. I was sure that we were becoming one person, her fingers darted across the exposed skin of my back, leaving a pleasant heat behind.
With every touch she continued to chase away the darkness that fed off my sorrow, she eased its talons from my muscles with the warmth of her body, pulled its teeth my throat with the press of soft lips to my temple. She was slowly pulling me up from the watery depths of my despair and when she nuzzled her nose lightly across my cheek I felt as if I could breath again. I sputtered and gasped but I could breathe, I took in everything that she was giving me with each breath I pulled in.
I don't know if I slept, or if I had just floated off into some other world where there was no pain, no fear, nothing but Victoria. I floated and yet felt completely anchored and safe at the same time, the darkness was gone, its cold touch replaced by warm fingers and breath. Time no longer ticked around me with a painful jab but with the soft thump of a strong heartbeat. She was my sun, my stars, my everything and in that moment I wanted nothing more than to stay like that, lost but completely found within this world she was creating for me.
Did the universe understand that it had almost lost its savior?
Is that why it was allowing this moment in time?
"Max.." her voice tickled against my ear, sending shivers racing down my spine. I felt a small amount of sadness swirl around within my mind as her voice pulled me back from the world she had created; she slowly brought down the walls and let the real world back in, a world that had been too much to take but now seemed almost bearable. I knew that the darkness was still there, but it was gone for now, she had helped rebuild my walls and I knew that when it returned I would at least stand a fighting chance. I slowly opened my eyes when I felt her fingers curl against my cheek, her thumb brushing across the underside of my jaw, she eased my gaze up until our eyes met again. I found that I could not read that expression that shaped her features but I did not shy away from it; I watched as her eyes moved across my face taking in details that I could only grasp at understanding.
I expected questions but none came, she did not press me to explain what had just happened. I did not believe that she understood but she seemed to grasp at enough information to understand that I could not explain even if I wanted to.
And I did.
I wanted to tell her everything because deep down I knew that she could help me carry this burden; that she could save me from myself. I knew that she would keep me grounded with my head above the water. I could see what we could become as clearly as I could see the corners of her mouth curling up into a small smile, I could feel the shared touches and secret kisses. She could be my everything and I would still plead for more, she would be able to touch me in ways that would shake me to my core and send me to new heights at the same time. There would be rough patches and stubborn arguments, tears and apologies but more than anything I could see that there could be love.
In that instant I did love her, maybe not in the traditional sense but I did more than I had ever loved anyone.
I opened my mouth to say this but was stopped by the firm but soft pressure of her lips against my own. The kiss was brief and for a second I believed that I had just imagined it as I watched her pull away from me, her hand reaching over to smooth her thumb across my bottom lip as if to assure me that I was not dreaming, her touch anchoring me back in reality once more. Had she known what I was thinking? Did she understand even without the knowledge to back it up that a confession from me in this situation would only complicate my already impossible task?
I watched as she gave a small shake of her head, her fingers reaching up to smooth out a crease that had formed between my eyes brows before slowly untangling our bodies. I instantly missed her warmth as the cold world surrounded me once more as she lifted herself off the bed and stood in front of me. The small smile returned briefly as she held her hand lightly out in front of me, and in that moment I understood.
I would take her hand and I would leave, no words would be spoken and my life would continue; I would step back into my rollercoaster seat and take off back towards Chloe's house; take back off towards whatever was waiting for us at the end of this journey.
There was no time for moments like this, no matter where I moved the pieces; our pieces would just never fall into place.
At least not right now.
Because there was always a rainbow after a big storm.
