I honestly can't believe it's been four years since I updated this story. Because of my passion for writing, I'd gone into college for journalism. That was a big mistake. It was like dog-eat-dog as everyone tried to screw everyone else over to get the limelight. It made me hate writing. It made me hate it so much I even switched to a different major as well.
Either way, I give my sincerest apologies to those that had followed this story. I received a few private messages from people asking me if I was alright and if I was ever planning on picking this up again. I know my answers hadn't been very helpful.
It's been four years, and instead of continuing where I left off, I plan first to update my previous chapters, since I re-read them and cringed at the writing style of my younger self. If you've read this before, I encourage you to re-read it, as the original chapters are there, but they're going to be filled out...a lot.
The obvious disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or its characters, and all credit should be given to Rumiko Takahashi.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
The mood of the camp changed as the wind switched. It was a silent event, hardly noticeable except by those who had seen it before. Like a subtle and silent dance of swirling emotions, never ending until the sun came up.
It started with Inuyasha, whose position sitting cross-legged against a nearby tree, sword in his lap, shifted slightly. He lifted one leg and rested his arm on it, his head turning into the wind and ears twitching. Kagome, who was not yet asleep, and who had secretly been watching him, instantly recognized his mood. She got out of her sleeping bag and went to sit by the fire, acting as if the chill air drove her from sleep. Her movement dislodged Shippo, who had been sleeping on the top of her sleeping bag. He cocked his head to the side in confusion upon finding his adoptive mother was gone. But, upon finding she'd only gone to the fire, he bounded over to the demon fire-cat Kilala, and nuzzled into the fur of her tail. Sango and Miroku witnessed all of this silently from the other end of the fire with looks of disapproval on both of their faces. And all of it meant one thing, Kikyo.
They had camped right on the outskirts of the forest by the village that shared a border with Inuyasha's forest, enjoying the clear night sky as opposed to sleeping in Kaede's hut. Still, they were in familiar territory. Familiar enough, that sometimes when all the others were settled for the evening, Inuyasha would take to simply wandering around the forest as the others slept. They all knew this. It seemed like a normal night when he got up and began to walk off, but everyone that he only had one destination in mind tonight. In wasn't the first time he'd done it, and like in the past no one moved to stop him. Well, Sango had made a grab for her weapon but Miroku had blocked her and tried to quiet her in hushed tones while Kagome pointedly refused to look anywhere but at the fire.
For a long time after Inuyasha left, Kagome, Sango, and Miroku sat around the fire saying nothing. Kagome silently contemplated whether or not she should go after him, while Sango and Miroku wordlessly worried over her. They could see how her shoulders had slumped, how she brought her knees up to her chin and wrapped her arms around them, seeming to draw into herself for protection. Her eyes were sad and empty, bright with unshed tears.
Sango looked over at Miroku, a questioning look on her face. Every time Inuyasha went off after Kikyo, Kagome always went after him eventually. Even if she only ended up hurting herself, she always went after him. But so far, she had yet to move. They wondered if something had happened between the two when they weren't around. Or maybe Kagome had finally given up on Inuyasha. She winced as she watched her friend across the fire. Giving up on someone was one thing, but ridding yourself of the feelings you harbored for those you gave up on was another thing entirely.
While Kagome fought to make herself appear as unaffected as possible, her insides were filled with despair and turmoil. Her pathetic attempts at trying to win over his affections had always ended badly for her, but she secretly thought it had prevented anything from happening between the hanyou and undead miko as well. She'd always wait until she felt in control of her emotions enough that she wouldn't break down into tears as soon as she got close to the Goshinboku and then go after him. But not tonight. Tonight Inuyasha had moved to the trees with purpose in his eyes and not before sparing a guilty glance in her direction that he didn't expect her to see. He had known Kikyo would come tonight, he'd been waiting for instinct told her something bad was going to happen this time, and that she'd do better to stay where she was.
It wasn't long before her gut feeling was proved correct. Less than an hour after leaving them, Inuyasha returned. Only, he wasn't alone. He stood at the end of the clearing, silent but nervous, his claws grabbing at the ends of his sleeves, with Kikyo at his side. It was easy for Kagome to figure out what had happened. She could see how hey stood close together, and Inuyasha occasionally glanced at her as everyone else stared, a light blush on his cheeks.
This was the end for her. He had chosen, and she had lost. She realized suddenly that her heart was breaking. She'd always known that one day he'd choose, that he'd had feelings for Kikyo all those years ago. But, somehow, unconsciously she'd thought things wouldn't end up like this. Her life there was flashing in her mind in bits and pieces, giving her a painful reminder of everything that she'd given up for him without realizing it was done for unrequited love. She had nothing left now. She'd sacrificed her education in the future, given up on being a normal girl with normal friends and a normal boyfriend. She'd basically given up her family too. Out loud she always said it was for her duty to the jewel, to prevent the world from falling into the hands of evil and tampering with her future, but she knew better. From the beginning, it had all been done for him. All for a half-demon that had just made it crystal clear would never see her as anything more than an annoying girl that was forced to be his traveling companion. She was suffocating under the knowledge of that painful truth, and couldn't bear to be there a moment longer.
No one said a word as Kagome slowly rose to her feet. They simply stared as she purposefully walked towards Inuyasha and Kikyo, a look of grim determination on her face. She finally stood face to face with her rival and glared into her eyes as best she could, given she was still close to tears. Kikyo emotionlessly stared back at her, seemingly not concerned with anything around her. Not a word was spoken. Inuyasha began to fidget from such a long and drawn out silence. He had expected them to yell, scream, to fight, but not this. The two priestesses only had eyes for each other. Kagome's were filled with anger and hatred, while Kikyo's were the cold indifference they always were.
"Kagome, I-," but before he could finish, the defeated girl suddenly walked past Inuyasha and Kikyo, and into the forest, not looking back once. She didn't want to hear his excuses, it would only break her heart more.
Her friends stared after her retreating form, which was quickly swallowed by the darkness of the forest. Sango noticed a small smirk had sneaked into Kikyo's features, and it pushed her anger to the boiling point.
"Look what you've done Inuyasha!" Sango shouted at him, jumping to her feet. Kikyo stepped forward before the flustered hanyou could bark a reply. It was harder this time for Miroku to keep her restrained, which Inuyasha noticed with an inner grimace. The taijiya's left arm had already gotten ahold of her weapon, and the fire in her eyes indicated she was more than willing to use it if she could get a chance. Luckily Miroku was determined to hold her in place.
"I do know that my presence is not welcome here. But I am here for one reason only: to find the shards of the jewel and defeat Naraku." Her voice was cold and empty, causing Kilala to mewl softly. Shippo stood nervously next to her, not quite sure what had happened, for he was still young. All he knew was that his mother was incredibly upset and that she'd left him alone. That fact hurt the most. He loved Kagome more than anything, but she would never let him comfort her when she was sad, not at first anyway. He only wanted to help her.
"What do you think we've been doing all this time?" Miroku kept his voice calm and steady, seeing that shouting would have no effect on the long dead miko. He could only hope reason would get through to her. Having no desire to respond, Kikyo only gazed at him before moving to sit under the branches of a large oak tree. Clearly, she did not think very highly of their slow progress.
Inuyasha reluctantly stepped forward. "Guys, Kikyo's going to travel with us from now on." He winced as soon as the sentence was out of his mouth, immediately knowing his words were not received well.
"And what about Kagome?" Sango asked angrily. "I highly doubt she's willing to give up her soul!"
"And I no longer desire to take it from her." Kikyo spoke up from her place under the tree. She paused, as if searching for the words to best describe her dislike of the young miko. "She has...tainted it with her essence." Sango clenched her fists tightly but said nothing. Soul stealing or not, she knew there was no way Kagome and Kikyo would be able to travel in close quarters like this. Hell, she didn't think she could travel in close quarters with Kikyo either.
"And what of her now? I sense that she has returned to her own time." Miroku probed. He could feel the miko's eyes on him, curious as to what he meant, but he felt no need to explain anything to her.
"I'll go and talk to her tomorrow." Inuyasha stated, his ears twitching in an obvious sign of his guilt.
And with that, their confrontation was over.
Kilala transformed into her larger form, allowing Miroku, Sango, and Shippo to curl into her soft fur. The tension in the air was tangible, but they said no more to Inuyasha or Kikyo. The hanyou finally jumped to a tall branch in the oak tree Kikyo was resting under, watching over her in the last remnants of the night. He didn't seem to understand that between the two miko, they would never be able to travel together and that he would have to choose one and only one to be with. He'd foolishly thought that by doing this, he could still be with the woman he owed his life to and keep Kagome as a friend.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
But Kagome understood. She understood completely as she rose from the well in her own time, weeping bitterly into the darkness of the cool twilight. She knew he would choose between the two of them someday, he had to. And he finally had. She'd always known that this night would come, despite her unknown optimism that it wouldn't, and now that it had, she felt that she deserved better.
She settled herself on the rim of the well, not yet able to leave the darkness of the well house. With a small pang of regret, she realized she'd left her backpack at the campsite. 'Not that it matters', she thought bitterly to herself. 'I've already flunked out of school so it's not like I need to bother studying anymore'. She hadn't had the heart to tell any of her friends that she'd finally fallen so far behind in school that there was no way to recover. Her mother had tried to look as optimistic as possible, saying she could enroll in some remedial classes and still finish albeit much later than her friends. She hadn't bothered.
Sighing, she finally pushed herself off the well and headed out into the night, pausing to wince, as she often did, at how noisy and loud it seemed compared to the past. She wasn't sure when she'd started preferring the surroundings of the feudal era to her own time, but now it just made her angry. She longed for a time and place where she would never be happy, and she still couldn't stop herself from wanting to go back.
For a long time she sat under the shadow of the Goshinboku, staring up at the moon in the hope it would give her some answer to her depressing predicament. A plan had begun to form in her mind as she'd walked to the well earlier, and as she sat there she weighed her options in her mind, and the potential outcomes of each one. She supposed she could use her magic to seal the well and be done with it all. She'd hidden the few jewel shards they'd possessed in that time, having known she could never travel with her friends like that again. Her only regret, still, was that she'd left her backpack behind. It wasn't that she needed it, but she found herself hating the idea of leaving any part of her with Inuyasha.
In the distance she could hear a plane making its way across the starry sky. It was almost an alien sound to her now despite this being the time she'd been born and raised in. At that moment, sitting on the grounds of her family's shrine, she'd never felt more alone and out of place. As if that made the decision for her, she stood up with an air of finality and made her way back towards the well. Casting a sad glance behind her at her home, she pondered going inside first and asking her mother for advice, but immediately struck down the idea.
"Kagome?" the girl froze, her hand closed around the door handle. Calming herself and turning slowly, she found her little brother standing behind her, watching her in confusion.
"Hey Souta." she made sure she was smiling and turned to face him, letting go of the door and clasping her hands behind her back so he couldn't see them shaking.
"I heard you come home, why are you leaving again?"
"I uh, forgot my bag back at camp." she explained to him with a half-truth. She opened her mouth to further explain she needed to do laundry hence her want to go back and get it, but the knowledge that it would be an outright lie stopped her. If she did, he would be thoroughly upset when he woke again in the morning and found she hadn't come back. He'd worry something had happened to her. It wasn't fair to him. She sighed finally and ran a hand through her hair absently, as if clearing it from her face would clear her of her thoughts as well.
"Because I need to go back." she said at last. Her brother frowned at her. She'd been gone for so much of his life these past years she never realized he was past the age of a foolish little boy. The idea made her heart clench knowing she planned to leave him behind again.
"Did you have a fight with Inuyasha?" he asked finally.
"Well, sorta. There wasn't an actual fight..."
"But he still managed to hurt you." his firm and angry tone finished for her, startling her. Souta had done nothing but idolize Inuyasha since meeting him, even when they fought. Sure he'd support Kagome and help her feel better, but he always seemed to think of their fights as silly squabbles. The great Inuyasha could do no wrong in his eyes. When had that changed?
"Souta..." she moved forward, hands outstretched in an unconscious desire to soothe away his anger. He stepped back and shook his head at her.
"I'm not a little kid anymore 'Gome." he tried to explain, his use of her old nickname bringing a faint smile to her lips. "And I'm not stupid. You look like someone died. What did he do?"
Her eyes widened in surprise and she had to wonder just how much of her pain was visible. Her lips trembled as she tried to bite back the words that wanted to come out. She didn't want anyone in her family to know how she was hurting.
"He...Kikyo...he chose Kikyo." she said at last, falling to her knees before her younger brother. Her despair had won out over her desire to remain strong in front of him. "I think I always knew he would, but I didn't think it would hurt so much." she sobbed brokenly.
"Then why are you going back?" his angry confusion making her wince. He thought she was going to go crawling back to Inuyasha, she realized.
She looked up at him then, finally voicing aloud what her heart had decided.
"I'm going back Souta, but I'm not going to go back to him. Not now, not ever."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
'Well, mom always said I've never been one to go down without a fight.' she reassured herself quietly as she closed the door to the well house behind her, once again bathed in the comforting darkness of the small space. She smiled, a small and tight lipped smile that only accentuated her sad and tear-filled eyes.
She'd changed into a simple blue cotton kimono that her mother had made in hopes she'd come home for the summer festival last year. In place of her yellow bag, a smaller brown bag built for travelling rested at her feet, filled what she thought she might need for the journey. She almost found it funny how much smaller this bag was compared to the one she'd carried on her back for so many years. Then again, she no longer was carrying supplies for a group, just herself.
Souta had packed the bag for her after she'd explained her desire to return to Sengoku Jidai, finding herself reluctant to enter the house. He hadn't been happy, but she had seen in his eyes that he understood. This time no longer felt like home to her.
She only hoped that her mother would understand when Souta explained things to her in the morning.
With one last wistful look behind her, she shouldered her bag and jumped back into the well.
For once, she was glad she knew Inuyasha's anger so well. The clearing was empty as she climbed out of the well and rested for a moment on its rim. He would not come for her tonight. No, the soonest he would even think of trying to find her so he could yell at her for her "stupidity" was tomorrow morning. That would give her plenty of time. She slid off the old Bone-Eater's well and turned to face it, her features set into a look of grim determination.
Raising her hands above the well, she let them glow with the ancient magic of the miko.
Having grown tired of Inuyasha's constant complaints that her lack of skill was making her worthless in a fight but then doing nothing to help her, she had taken to studying the art of the miko in her own time. Claiming she needed a week to study for and take her finals, she'd holed herself up in the library and read all she could find on magic and the miko. Even her grandfather had found several helpful scrolls among his collection of ancient artifacts. He had been more than willing to help her, proud she was stepping into the role of a miko, as their family had done for generations.
Practicing what she'd learned had been difficult. She didn't have much time at home, and she hadn't wanted the others to see what she was doing. She had been determined to surprise them all with her new level of skill, finally making herself useful. At home she'd mastered a simple incantation that allowed her to hide her presence and used that to sneak away from the camp at night to practice and hone her skills. Over the months she'd managed to become, what she thought, was quite adept with her abilities and had even mastered several spells that she didn't think even Miroku knew. What she couldn't physically do, she made sure to learn. Whenever she came home her grandfather had new books for her on miko, spells, and incantations. Not needing them anymore, she'd taken the covers off her old textbooks and placed them on the ones her grandfather would give her. None of her friends ever bothered to notice that when they gathered around the fire at night, it was no longer geometry that she poured over.
She found it fitting, the seal she planned to use. She'd never tried it, but felt in her gut that she would be able to do so. Her feelings for the hanyou that was her first -and what she thought would be her last- love insured that it would never be broken.
"You'll never hurt me again Inuyasha." Kagome wept angrily as the well began to glow.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
The next morning dawned just as tense as the night before. Inuyasha hadn't even bothered trying to sleep. He could go well enough without and he felt too tense. He was too worried about Kagome and how angry she probably was with him. At first he had been convinced Kagome was simply overreacting. The jewel needed to be completed and they weren't working fast enough. His instincts had been nagging at him that something bad was going to happen, and soon. This could only mean one thing: Naraku would strike.
And this was the stance he had firmly stuck to until Miroku had woken up some time in the night to find Inuyasha perched in the tree, gazing in the direction of the well.
"How would you feel if Kagome announced that your brother would be travelling with us from now on because we weren't finding jewel shards fast enough?" the monk had asked quietly, knowing his hanyou friend could hear him. Inuyasha, immediately bristling at the thought, had turned to yell a retort only to find the monk had already lay back down to sleep.
"Half-brother." he still muttered to himself anyway.
But how would he feel? Sesshoumaru was ruthless. Most youkai were convinced he was the strongest of them all. Despite being nothing but a wanderer in his own lands, he was able to rule them with an iron first. He remembered stories his mother had told him when we was still small about the Killing Perfection that could fell armies by himself and bowed to no one. Certainly if he were to fight seriously against Naraku...it made him feel inferior just thinking about it.
An ear twitched as the connection was made. No matter where they travelled, Kagome was always compared to the great miko Kikyo, her powerful incarnation. She had always laughed and brushed it off. But to suddenly be told Kikyo would be among them...he had basically told her she was inferior to the other miko. He was an idiot.
And for the rest of the night, the idea he had unknowingly sent Kagome away plagued him.
He didn't want Kagome to leave them, but his determination to atone for Kikyo's death might have pushed him into a decision he would regret. He stupidly realized he should have told her first, explained to her what he was planning to do so she didn't get the wrong idea. The last thing he needed was for her to think she was useless or that he didn't want her around. The thought made him wince and his anxiety rise.
As the dawn rose over the treetops and colored them with its warm tones, he decided he couldn't take it anymore. He didn't need to spend the entire morning having the others pointing out to him how much he had messed up. This time he knew full well that this had been all his fault.
Turning towards a path he knew by heart, he took to the trees with a frenzied pace. He had to reach her, he had to tell her he was sorry. She had to come back.
He hardly noticed the branches hitting his body as he breezed past them. They were wet from the morning dew, which made them more pliable. Birds took flight in his wake, startled from slumber by the soft thwang of the branches as they went back into their original positions.
The clearing was quiet and peaceful as he landed on its perimeter. Instinctively he glanced about, looking and listening for anything out of the ordinary. Something just felt off that morning, but he couldn't place it. Maybe it was just because he was so tense.
It didn't take him long to reach the old portal, but he hesitated before jumping in. He wasn't sure what to say when he saw Kagome, or how to convince her to return. He knew she was angry, she hadn't even looked at him when she left. Groaning inwardly, he could only imagine how many times she would use the curse against him today to pummel him into the ground.
He would never admit that most of the time he deserved what he got, but normally she just took it too far. It was like she made it a point to try and break something.
Throwing his worries to the wind, he took a breath and jumped into the well.
There was no flash of light, no feeling of floating through time. He was standing at the bottom of the well, looking up at the slowly passing clouds in a time that was certainly not Kagome's.
"It didn't work?" he asked himself incredulously. Jumping back out, he stood on the rim for a moment before leaping in again. But the result was the same.
"What the hell's going on?" his shouted angrily as his worry started to return in more force. But this time, he was more concerned about whether he would reach Kagome at all.
"It has been sealed." came a neutral voice from above him. He looked up in surprise to see Kikyo standing at the base of the well, staring down at him. He had been so deep in thought he hadn't even noticed her approach. She must have seen him leave and followed him. Then again, he didn't remember seeing her in the clearing when he left so she could have been anywhere. What was it about Kagome that made him forget his own surroundings?
He leapt back out again and landed gracefully next to her despite his inner turmoil, ears twitching. He was going to track down and kill whatever idiot thought they could mess with the well!
"Whaddya mean?" he crossed his arms over his chest, trying to appear like he wasn't concerned. But she knew better.
The undead miko walked slowly around the well, one hand resting lightly on the rim so that her slim fingers trailed limply behind her across its surface as she moved, her eyes closed in concentration. On the opposite end, she stopped, looking across the depths of the Bone-Eater's well at Inuyasha. Were it not for her empty eyes, her face could have been mistaken for one of mild confusion.
"The girl seems to have placed a seal on the well. I did not know she possessed such a power." She appeared thoughtful as she gazed down into the depths of the well that seemed to hold such an importance to the hanyou.
It took several minutes before she spoke again. "What significance does this well hold for my reincarnation?"
Inuyasha paused, suddenly uncertain if he wanted Kikyo to know about Kagome's true origins. But, in the end, he realized that if she would be travelling with them she'd have to find out sooner or later. "The well lets her travel through time." he explained finally, his voice a quiet murmur. "Kagome comes from 500 years in the future, but when she jumps through the well, she winds up here."
"A well as a portal for time. Interesting." she observed. As observant as a soulless corpse could be anyway. The hanyou shook his head.
"Kagome and I are the only ones who can use it. I don't know why." he corrected. The woman nodded at him, seeming to mull over his revelation.
"Then, it seems this seal would be a problem."
"But what does it mean?" Inuyasha already knew what it meant, but he wanted her to say it out loud in the chance that he'd misunderstood the situation. As if there was a small chance that her words would tell him otherwise and that everything would be okay.
"It means that the girl has blocked the power in this well. Normally seals will fade with time unless something powerful anchors it. It feels like she used the well itself as an anchor. The seal will not fade unless the power of the well disappears." It was the most she'd said in a long time, to him or anyone. It took a moment for him to process everything.
"And you can't undo it?" He asked desperately. She looked at him and shook her head once, slowly. He could see the sting of jealousy that quickly crossed her features before they returned to a mask of nothing. It took a strong feeling of emotion in order to show itself, even momentarily, on her dead face.
As Inuyasha tried to come to terms with the situation, the miko across from him tried to put a handle on the emotions she could suddenly feel. Ironically, it was not Inuyasha that could make her feel when she was nothing but a shell of her former self, but the strange girl that was her reincarnation. She supposed the fact their souls were one and them same had something to do with it. However, this didn't change the fact that she didn't like the implications of this situation at all. Kikyo had underestimated her reincarnation's power because of her unwillingness to fight. Now it was clear that the girl was more powerful than previously thought, and her incarnation was not keen to that notion.
The well was sealed. Kagome had sealed the well against him. Was this temporary? Was she simply assuring he couldn't come back for her so she could have time to be angry with him? Or maybe it was permanent, and he had hurt her so badly she had left without saying goodbye to anyone.
He didn't want to hear any more, and he didn't want to think about what this meant for him and the rest of her friends. He took off into the forest without saying anything to Kikyo nor caring if she was left there on her own. She had been on her own for a long time now, she could fend for herself.
He wasn't paying any attention to where he was going, but unconsciously he moved towards camp where the others were no doubt awake by now and waiting for him to come back with Kagome. When he told them what had happened, would they leave him too? Almost paralyzed with the sudden and gripping fear of being left alone, he burst into the clearing.
If the group was surprised by his sudden entrance, they didn't show it. Sango continued to kneel next to the fire, in the middle of turning one of the fish that were cooking. Miroku and Shippo were on the other side of her, the kitsune stirring the bubbling liquid as the monk added various ingredients to it out of Kagome's bag. The fact that she'd left her bag with them only made him feel worse. None of them looked at him, but he felt that they had purposefully done that.
"Kagome's gone!" Inuyasha blurted out finally, unable to stand the silence any longer. Sango looked over at him wearily.
"We know that Inuyasha. Your stupid actions drove her out last night. Of course she went home." She replied scornfully before turning back to the fish.
"She's not coming back!" he shouted. How could they not understand something was wrong? This time Miroku was the one to glance over at him, his look similar to that of the tajiya's. They seemed more like they were dealing with a petulant child than an angry comrade.
"Well after what you did, it's understandable that she'll remain there for awhile. You didn't expect her to return right away did you?" he sighed, exasperated. If Kikyo was indeed staying with them, they would desperately need Kagome's cheerful nature to get them through it, but he understood her need for space after the insult she had been dealt the night before.
"You don't understand! There's a seal on the well!" he tried for the direct approach this time, and that definitely got their attention.
"A seal?" Sango stood from her place by the fire, wiping her hands on her kimono. The hanyou nodded once and the woman balled her hands into fists. He took a step back, suddenly uncomfortable with the short distance between the two of them. In the past, Sango had had no qualms about giving him a good beating after fighting with Kagome, but this would make her furious. The longer he could postpone their inevitable brawl, the better.
"Kikyo said Kagome placed it there herself. Nothing can pass through the well at all." Inuyasha looked down at his feet, knowing it was entirely his fault. As the group's faces made it clear they were too shocked to respond, he remained silent, consumed by grief.
"You drove her away!" Shippo suddenly shouted from Miroku's shoulder. "You were always so mean to her, and now she's had enough and went away for good! It's all your fault Inuyasha!" the kitsune broke into tears. Sango frowned and tried to offer comfort to the young boy as Miroku shot him a look that said that he was in agreement with the statement.
"Are you sure that the seal was Kagome's doing?" Miroku asked after the boy quieted somewhat. Something didn't feel right about the whole situation, but he knew he needed to tread lightly. If the hanyou was half as upset as he looked, he was reluctant to make it worse. Especially when the one person who kept his blood cool was apparently not able to reach them.
"The seal is hers." Kikyo stepped out of the trees as she spoke, the faint glimmer of her soul stealers fading as they went away to kami knows where. "I found Inuyasha by the well unable to use it."
Sango immediately pinned a glare on the hanyou. "You told her?"
"I had to!" Inuyasha defended himself. "Someone had to figure out what was wrong with it."
"It was the girl's power that sealed the well. I cannot seem to break it." The two were interrupted from a potential argument by Kikyo as she spoke again. There was a moment of shocked silence after her revelation. Sango didn't think she'd ever like Kikyo, but she knew her powers as a miko were unparalleled, even by Kagome. Inuyasha looked down at his feet, ears flattened against his head. Miroku thought he heard a faint whine emanating from the hanyou, but knew better than to question it.
"So what do we do?" Sango's voice trembled ever so slightly with uncertainty. Shippo had made his way into her arms and she clutched him there tightly, his sobs wracking his small body.
No one could answer her.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"Souta! Breakfast!"
The boy groaned and rolled over, shoving his pillow over his head to keep out the noise and light. He'd barely slept at all after his sister left, and he already knew it was going to be a long day. Just for a moment he entertained the idea of ignoring his mother and trying to sleep some more, but he knew better. He'd skipped out on breakfast too many times this week in his haste to get to school that she wasn't going to let him sleep through Sunday breakfast.
"Coming!" he shouted at last, groaning again and rolling out of bed.
He tried to stifle a yawn as he made his way down the stairs and into the living room so his grandfather wouldn't see it and launch into a lecture on good sleeping habits. Luckily he was too busy trying to catch the cat to pay attention to him. A small sutra was clutched in a wrinkled hand as he called to Buyo, and Souta could only imagine what he was going to do with it.
"Did you have a late night dear?" his mother smiled warmly at him as he sat at the table, setting a plate of food in front of him.
"Uh, yeah I guess." He replied, glancing over to Kagome's empty chair. Sadly he wondered when she would sit in that chair again, if ever. Why did he have to be the one to do this? It wasn't fair!
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"I'm going back Souta, but I'm not going to go back to him. Not now, not ever."
He stared at her for several moments as he tried to process what she was trying to say.
"You don't...want to be here anymore?" he didn't hide the hurt from his voice or from his eyes as he asked her. As the years passed, he'd learned to always have a smile waiting for Kagome when she came home or else she would do nothing but worry about the family she was leaving behind. It wasn't like she had a choice, it was her destiny to travel to that time. But he'd always looked forward to the day when it would be over. The day she would come home and stay there. And here she was saying that day wasn't going to come.
"Souta you know it isn't like that." she looked like she would try to reach for him again but then stopped, slumping down to the ground in defeat. Her fists clenched as she tried to find the words to explain how she felt, to make him understand that she had to do this.
"I loved him Souta, I really loved him." the words came out at last, shaky and filled with so much despair it made his heart clench just to hear her talk. "I realize now I was ready to give up everything here to stay with him. And I guess I did. My friends are gone, I can't go to school anymore and I didn't even graduate, and my family does fine without me around."
"That's not-" she held a hand up to silence him, although she wouldn't look at him.
"I also realized that loving him was pointless. But I'm still not over him. And after tonight...if I came home after tonight I would spend every day for the rest of my life living with that sadness." finally she looked up at him, her eyes bright with unshed tears but filled with a fire he hadn't seen in months.
"I want to live for myself again. I want to go back and find my own strength."
He couldn't help it, he smiled. This was the sister he had always loved and admired. This was the sister that always followed her heart and did what she felt in her being was the right thing. This was the sister that had slowly faded away as the months grew into years and she spent more and more of her time at the other end of the well.
"Will you come back?" she frowned again at his question, thoughtful this time.
"Eventually." was all she would say.
As the city nightlife continued on, two siblings embraced in the darkness of an old shrine, expressing their love and goodbyes in the hopes the other would understand their pain. And truly, they did. Kagome understood all too well that in her absence her brother had needed to become the man of the house. With no father or elder sibling, someone had to take care of their mother and grandfather. He'd grown up in the time she'd been away, but he didn't resent her for it, only missed her. She knew that every time she came through the well, he was waiting for her to say she wasn't going back, that she was done. Now she was taking that away from him. As for her younger brother, he knew that his sister was right. She'd left a large part of herself behind in that ancient time. Unless she could gain it back, she'd never be able to truly come home to them. She'd be nothing more than a ghost of her former self, and that would only break her family's hearts. He would see her off with love and a smile as she journeyed to find the part of herself that she'd lost in loving Inuyasha, and pray that she would find it and come back to them.
As they pulled apart, Kagome let out a small giggle as her brother quickly wiped at his eyes with the sleeve of his pajamas. He stuck his tongue out at her, finally smiling openly for the first time since he'd come down to her that night. She walked back over to the Goshinboku, Souta following silently behind and sitting down next to her.
"This isn't going to be like before Souta." she grabbed his hand and squeezed it as she talked, uncertain if it was for his reassurance or her own. "I'm not going to come back every few weeks to get more supplies and to visit."
He was surprised to hear it, but then again, he wasn't. "Why?" was all he asked. There was no sadness or anger anymore, just comprehension and curiosity.
"Because I didn't leave on his terms." she explained, without needing to explain who he was. "He'll try and come after me if I keep coming back through the well. And even if I don't visit, he'll come here and demand answers or wait me out."
"What are you going to do?"
She exhaled slowly, staring up at the moon as she did so. She replied without looking at him, her gaze remaining on the brightest light in the sky. "I found a spell for a seal in one of the books grandpa gave me. I can use it to seal the well and make it look like I stayed here."
He frowned at her. "But then won't you be stuck there too?"
"No." she laughed. "No I can remove the seal myself and come back."
"Good." he felt reassured, and had to admit her approach made sense. How awkward would it be if Inuyasha showed up tomorrow morning demanding to know where Kagome was only to have her gone back to his time? That's right, he'd probably try and come in the morning, which meant there was no way she could stay here tonight. She had to get moving. He stood and brushed nonexistent debris from his pants before walking towards the house.
"What kind of clothes do you want me to pack for you?" he asked nonchalantly as if this were a normal visit home and it was time for her to leave. She smiled and sniffed, tearing up at his unspoken understanding that she shouldn't go in the house.
"The kimonos mom made for me last year."
He stopped and looked at her, an eyebrow arching in a clear question. She sighed in exasperation. He would always be her slightly irritating younger brother, always. The one who asked questions about everything even when she didn't feel like giving answers.
"My school uniform is kind of an easy giveaway if he tries to look for me." she gestured to herself and the white and green ensemble she still wore, despite being old enough to have graduated now. "I'll blend in if I wear a kimono."
He nodded, her answer apparently sufficient enough for him, and resumed his walk inside. He built a list in his head of what he needed to pack for her as he began to tick things off on his fingers.
When he came back out, she was still sitting under the Goshinboku and gazing at the moon. she smiled in thanks as he handed over the brown backpack that their mother had tried to give her for her birthday last year. It was sturdy and lightweight, but she simply had too many things to carry and they wouldn't fit in the smaller bag. At least now she could use it. He turned around as she murmured something about changing before she left, digging into the bag and pulling out one of the kimonos he had packed.
"I'm sorry." her voice was small as she spoke from behind him but the silence of the night, interrupted only by the occasional rustle of cloth as she changed, allowed him to hear her clearly. He wondered if this was quiet to her, or if the noises of the city he had learned to drown out now bothered her.
"What for 'Gome?"
"Leaving all of this to you. I mean, you'll tell them won't you? What happened?"
He'd thought about that as he'd packed her stuff. How he'd have to explain to their mother and grandfather that she would be gone for a long time. He'd wanted to be angry with her for leaving him with this burden and had even considered not telling them at all. But he couldn't be angry, and he couldn't keep this to himself.
"Yeah." he said at last. "I'll tell 'em."
She hugged him from behind, blue-clad arms encircling his shoulders and pulling him close.
"I'll miss you." she whispered into his ear.
"Me too sis. I love you."
There was nothing more to say between them. He remained rooted to the spot as he listened to her sling the bag over she shoulder and slowly walk away towards the well house. It wasn't until he heard the old door click shut behind her that he dared turn around. He picked up the folded uniform she'd left on the ground and went back inside, wondering if he'd sleep at all that night.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"Souta?" his mother's concerned voice snapped him out of his reverie.
"Sorry." he muttered, turning his attention back to his breakfast. Mrs. Higurashi sat across from her son and continued to watch him, her lips turned down slightly. Whatever he had been thinking about had made him look so sad that she wanted to hug him, but at his age she knew he wouldn't appreciate the motherly affection. Sometimes having a teenaged boy was difficult.
While she was still thinking of ways to get him to tell her his troubles without diminishing his masculinity, he put down his fork and looked up at her, determination etched across his features.
"Mom...Kagome came home last night."
"Oh! Normally she doesn't come so late. I'll make some more food for-" she was stopped when her son reached across the table and grabbed her sleeve, effectively silencing her.
"She left again already." he gave her a pleading look, as if his response meant more than she could understand. She sighed, resettling herself in her chair and twisting her arm so that she could grasp her son's hand with both of hers.
"Is this why you're upset this morning?" she asked him gently. Perhaps her children had fought in the night. Souta was a teenager now and Kagome an adult in her own right. While they'd never fought in the past, it was to be expected at their ages.
"We didn't get in a fight if that's what you're asking." he replied, watching her mouth open in a soft 'oh' indicating that he'd been correct in her intended question. He shook his head. He was getting distracted and he knew it. Putting off telling her the truth wouldn't make it any easier.
"Mom she's not going to come back for awhile."
He immediately looked down, uncertain what her reaction would be or how to comfort her.
"Well." she answered thoughtfully after a moment. "It's only been a few weeks since she was home last, and she's been staying there longer now that she's not in school. I'm sure she and Inuyasha will stop by soon enough." she finished by smiling brightly at him. She was trying to comfort him! Why couldn't she just understand so he didn't have to say it out loud?
"That's not it." he tried again. "She isn't going to come back for a long time, and Inuyasha won't be coming here either."
"Ah I see." she smiled in what he was sure was her perceived understanding of the situation. "So those two fought again. Don't let her words get to you Souta, they'll make up and she'll be back before you know it."
"Kaya." Souta jumped in surprise as his grandfather walked over to his daughter and placed a hand on her arm. The man who stood there was not the wily old man he'd grown accustomed to in life, but a wise and observant elder.
Almost as surprised as her own son, she removed one of her hands from Souta's and placed it on top of her father's. "Don't you worry either Papa. Kagome is just bickering with Inuyasha again."
"Kaya, the well is sealed." his voice was gentle but assertive. His mother had always told him that his grandfather was a strong and wise man that understood life was meant to be lived in the moment, and it was why he was always so carefree. He'd laughed it off, trying to picture a more stoic version of his, for lack of a better word, idiotic grandfather and failing. It wasn't until now that he saw the truth.
Mrs. Higurashi frowned down at her father. "Sealed? You sealed the well on your granddaughter?"
He shook his head. "She did it herself my dear. You son has been trying to explain what you don't want to hear. For now, she's chosen to remain in the past indefinitely."
If his mother was heartbroken by the news, she didn't show it. "Without even saying goodbye?"
Grandpa Higurashi smiled and patted her hand. "I guess this means she has to come back and apologize someday, doesn't it?"
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
I hope you enjoyed!
I'm about halfway done with my re-write of the second chapter, and I'll be sure to update the story description as each chapter is updated until I'm caught back up.
If you're so inclined, please let me know what you think, especially if you remember the original and if you think it's any better. If you feel the need for telling me off for abandoning this for four years, I probably deserve that as well, heh.
Until next time,
Luna.