Title: Learning to Love
Rating: M
Pairing: Ichigo/Ulquiorra
Summary: Lust, it is not an emotion. It is a materialistic instinct that pulls you toward the source with a hunger to devour and satiate. At least, this is what Ulquiorra Cifer believes, but his lover disagrees. Ulquiorra doesn't understand but Ichigo does.
Warnings: Yaoi, Male/Male, strong sexual situations, adult language, and content. Severe alternate universe. Maybe a little Emotional Angst. SLIGHT OOC (we'll see.) Set after Fake Karakura Town.
oOo
Lust. One word with many different meanings. Lust was a force that drove a person to extremes no matter who they were. Lust could save and kill, in the end everyone is simply a victim. The mere thought of lust destroys innocence long before they knew it, all those bottled up needs deep within, all those fantasies circling around in a person's head was a rush and lust was a way to remain connected.
An addiction more potent than any tranquilizer on or off the black market. No matter how dangerous and lethal it was, lust was delicious. Lust is not an emotion, it is a materialistic instinct that pulls you toward the source with a hunger to devour and satiate needs.
Lust transforms everything around the eyes, the animalistic need increases and once you've given in, you can never go back. It is lust that can hit even the more emotionless of creatures.
Ulquiorra Cifer had become a victim.
Haunting provocative images ghosted across his mind trailing down his spine and overthrowing all sense of balance. The instinct surged through him groping and penetrating leaving him with an inability to escape. A stronger man could be brought to his knees with such sensations and Ulquiorra was no different.
Why did lust terrorize him so? One look, one smell, one taste, and he were captured. A treacherous thief stole every since of balancing logic away and it replaced it by such madness.
Giving in had been only too easy. He had no resistance, a slave he was. How could a creature like he, who didn't feel, who could see human emotions become a prisoner? All of the control and power Ulquiorra thought he possessed no longer existed.
Wasn't he Hollow? How can such a strange creature cause him to shiver and cling like magnet to metal?
A pleasurable scream left his lips as he lay underneath submerged in silk sheets and clinging to the strong biceps hovering above him. His body writhed on its own accord against the sex that intruded and caused him to sink deeper and deeper into endless slavery.
Human sweat clung to his cool body, the scent of sex heavy and hot. Ulquiorra's back arched up, gripping hands sliding around his prison guard's neck. His eyes lidded heavily with desire leaked out tears that matched the streaks down his face.
The master that he was a slave too caused him to shake and lose control, made more screams come to life.
A hot searing kiss covered Ulquiorra's mouth; he shamefully gave in as he pressed closer, chest to chest.
A strong human hand reached down between their pressed bodies and stroked his weeping arousal. Sensitive like flammable liquid to extreme heat, Ulquiorra's nails sank into his lover's back and he silently pleaded under the taste of his mouth for more. He was so ashamed, how could he be begging? Wasn't it enough he was already a slave to this torture? Why must the lust take control of him, why did it have to feel so sinfully amazing? Why did his body crave, why did his mind convulse and shut down and why the hell was he being treated like an Angel when all he happened to be was a worthless subordinate.
His thoughts were suddenly halted when their releases came for the third time that night and Ulquiorra's cries matched the throaty groans of his lover until all the hot liquid poured of them, leaving Ulquiorra a shaking mess of shame.
He was gently laid back down on the bed, not remembering how he had gotten like this. His legs locked around a muscled body, it was like he was a child clinging like fragile glass to something he really shouldn't be clinging to.
He hadn't noticed it before but the lump in his hollowed throat and the tears leaking caused his lover to cup his cheeks and kiss them tenderly.
Ulquiorra swallowed that lump and closed his eyes, his arms going limp and falling back to the bed.
How did his logic get so messed up?
"Look at me, Ulquiorra," his lover commanded, "please?"
Why did he have to say please? Ulquiorra thought. He was created to do the bidding of his masters and his lover was obviously one of them. Just a different kind of master. He obeyed and he stared up into light brown eyes that held something Ulquiorra couldn't quite grasp. "Yes, Ichigo-sama?"
Ichigo's rolled his eyes. "Ulquiorra – stop it with the honorifics," he said quietly and brushed a piece of hair out of the Arrancar's pale face.
"I don't understand," Ulquiorra said solemnly, "why are we doing this? Why do I want you?"
Ichigo arched an eyebrow. "I could ask you the same question but it would get you nowhere," he said reaching for a towel beside the bed to clean the two of them up. "You were the one who sought me out. Can't you just accept that you feel, Ulquiorra?" Ichigo asked softly.
"No," Ulquiorra said cryptically, "I don't feel. I have instincts, Ichigo-sama." He watched Ichigo's large hand run the towel over his body. His tough cool skin shivered at the touch and instinctively he parted his legs so Ichigo could finish cleaning him up. If Ulquiorra had to serve someone, it might as well be Ichigo.
He was useless to Aizen now. He had failed in his duty to protect Las Noches. Ulquiorra had been bested by his new master, by Ichigo.
Ichigo grumbled at the honorific. "Why don't you just go with it? Enjoy yourself."
"How?" Ulquiorra asked. "I was created for a purpose, Ichigo-sama."
"Just because someone had you created for a purpose doesn't mean you have to do it," he said tossing the towel aside and shifting on the bed to lie down next to Ulquiorra. "Not everything is a deep seated thought process. Although, I do wonder what made you come to my window the other night…"
"Lust."
"That's an emotion."
"No," Ulquiorra rebuked softly, "It's a materialistic instinct that every creature has. The only difference is I've never felt it before until the day I saw you. It's why I tried to kill you and protect you at the same time."
Ichigo tilted his head thoughtfully. "What do you mean by that?"
"I told Aizen-sa-" he paused before correcting himself. "Aizen that you were trash. I knew you weren't. You were different and you gave me this lust that I couldn't control, so I decided to deal with you personally."
How complicated was Ulquiorra's mind? Ichigo thought as he observed the beautiful Espada. He was uncommonly pale, shoulder length black hair, his mask set to one side, broken with horns. His eyes the deepest color of green that Ichigo had ever seen and they were wide and sad. The streaks that went down his eyes didn't help and it made Ichigo's heart ache. He was like a beautiful glass doll that wasn't created with a smile.
He was an elegant Arrancar and Ichigo hadn't been able to refuse. Ulquiorra had looked desperate, the need for something that he had no idea about. His so-called instincts driving him and he didn't know why. He didn't think he felt because he was a Hollow but that was not true. Mindless Hollow's ate souls because they felt emotion but the emotion was pain. Apparently, Ulquiorra was still in the mindset of pain and he knew nothing else.
Ichigo didn't like that, not one bit. He wanted to change that and he would. He just had to change this being's mind and teach him and one of these days, Ichigo would make him smile. If only for a half a second, Ichigo vowed it.
He shifted and leaned into Ulquiorra capturing his frowning lips and turning them over as he gave in to him.
Ulquiorra's body shivered and Ichigo drew the covers around them and pulled Ulquiorra into his chest where the slender man hesitantly laid his body against the much needed warmth. Ichigo leaned back against the headboard of his bed and slid his hand up and own Ulquiorra's back.
Nothing else was said, Ulquiorra was sent further into his mind of confusion, and he hadn't noticed that his arms had tightened around Ichigo's body.
But Ichigo did. He smiled tenderly at Ulquiorra; a deep affection having been brought on by his emotional naivety.
Ichigo listened closely to Ulquiorra's even breaths. Ulquiorra had absolutely no idea that he was filled with nothing but emotion. He was perhaps the most emotional Arrancar out of every one of them that he had ever met. He just didn't know it.
Ichigo stroked his raven black hair and curled some pieces between his fingers. Accepting Ulquiorra's advances had been easy, sure he'd never given the Espada a thought before that night but his heart liked to latch onto people who were in need. It was a natural instinct of his. He couldn't turn a person a way. It was a weakness and strength at the same time.
It was with these sorts of thoughts that he was lulled into a soft slumber.
oOo
Ulquiorra awoke instantly a few hours later. His eyes searched the darkened room and he could feel the cold wind brush in from the open window on the right. He was lying with his cheek against Ichigo's left breast and part of his torso pressed into the human's side. There was a sensation of severe burning and throbbing pain as though someone had decided to torture him with those human hot pokers.
It was usually like this after the numbing effect wore off.
From the little experience he had with humans they needed at least eight full hours of sleep. Ichigo liked to run on less which bothered Ulquiorra, he was still a teenager in human eyes even though he didn't look it. Ulquiorra rose and his eyes searched Ichigo's still relaxed back. Human skin was a strange thing; he thought deftly gliding a finger along the side of Ichigo's muscle.
It was soft and yielded to his touch strangely while Ulquiorra's was much thicker. It also radiated a strange type of heat while his remained a few degrees above freezing temperature. When Ichigo's skin was pressed into his, it was kind of like a fire igniting. He was instantly warmed and it shocked the very core of his body.
Ichigo however was not a normal human. In fact, Ulquiorra wasn't entirely sure what he was. He was a shinigami, hollow, and a human all in one mix. Ulquiorra was hungry but that meant traveling to Hueco Mundo. He had given Ichigo a promise that he wouldn't steal human souls. Not that he wanted to in the first place, they were nasty when they had no reiatsu in them.
Gazing down at his nakedness, he pressed a hand flat to his chest, his thumb brushing across the tail end of the tattooed four. A constant reminder of what he was. Aizen may no longer be his superior but the endless despair remained. He slid to the side grimacing and taking a deep breath from the agony in his lower back. It was a strange sort of pain because it lingered inside of him, but then – Ulquiorra would find his body warming back up and sliding closer to endure more pleasurable torment.
His resistance was futile.
"Where are you going?" Ichigo murmured having felt the rising of the bed.
Ulquiorra paused. "I am hungry, may I leave, Ichigo-sama?"
Ichigo opened his eyes. "Never ask if you can leave, Ulquiorra. You are free to come and go at will. Be careful though." He observed the beautifully naked figure in front of his bed. It was like the Angel of Death.
Ulquiorra scowled very slightly at Ichigo's concern. "I do not need your concern, Ichigo-sama," he said not all that comfortable with the way his instincts stirred whenever Ichigo became concerned.
"Yah, yah you don't need it but I'm giving anyway. Come back if you wish." It was with those words that Ichigo turned on his side, the sheet slowly slipping off his torso revealing his chiseled back and most of his tanned legs.
Something stirred deep inside of Ulquiorra as he reacted by leaning over the bed and sliding the cover back over Ichigo's frame. He then proceeded to dress, tying the black sash around his waist and buttoning his coat-tails.
This had been the second time, Ulquiorra had showed up. The first time was when Ichigo wasn't living alone and their encounter had been so loud that neither of them still weren't sure why they had never been caught.
And now, Ichigo was on his own and Ulquiorra wondered why exactly. He was barely seventeen. A slightly young human to be on their own. But then again, Ichigo wasn't just a human.
He left the way he had come in, his eyes flickering back as he Sonidoed through the darkened skies. The words of a soft good-bye whispering into the back of his mind 'come back if you wish.'
Ulquiorra's confusion continued through the night until he was high enough to use his energy and part the world, revealing a flood of black ominous reiatsu. He entered the Garganta gracefully and disappeared from his new master's world.