Here are Bella's thoughts if she had jumped from the cliff to kill her self that fateful day in New Moon.

I do not own Twilight.

My heart hammered in my chest as I peered over the ledge at the dark, swirling waters bellow me. I kicked a small stone and watched it plummet downwards. It seemed like a long time before it hit the water with an audible plunk. I swallowed hard.

The winds blew in from the north. It chilled me to the bone. The waves roared and smashed against the rocks violently, a good distance down from where I stood. A light mist came down from the grey sky. Thunder boomed in the distance.

I paused a moment and just listened to my heart beat, counting some of its final beats.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

I had no reason to live. No reason to continue on. My life, my world, my reason, was gone. He didn't love me. He never did.

I wasn't blind to the fact that there were people who cared. Jacob, Charlie, Renee. They loved me, and I loved them. But they only made up tiny pieces of my life, of my world.

But most of my world was gone, only leaving tiny stars behind. Tiny points of light and love. But everything else was gone. He took it with him. He was my world.

I shook and suddenly the walls I had built in the past month were smashed into tiny pieces.

Edward.

I finally let my mind say his name. It hurt.

The hole ripped from the centre of my chest once more and I doubled over in pain. A pain I didn't want to feel anymore. I had been feeling it since the moment he left, and as the days went by the pain only got worse. It would all be over soon.

I found enough strength to get to my feet again.

"Bella, you can't do this." His voice growled in my ear sending a shiver down my spine.

The first tears began to roll down my cheeks and my breathing hitched and sputtered.

"What else can I do?" I asked him breathlessly.

"Anything but this Bella," He said angrily. "You are better than this. Live your life."

I slammed my fist down on a rock and pain shot up my whole arm. I pushed it away. "Damn it!" I screamed between my tears. "I tried Edward. Damn it I tried."

A sob ripped between my teeth. "You can't possibly want me to live like this?" I screamed at him.

I waited several moments in anguish but no reply came. He was truly gone.

I inched my way closer to the edge of the tall cliff. My toes crept over the edge. I observed the dangerous waters bellow one more time. I took a deep breath and then I threw myself over the edge.

I couldn't help but scream from the sheer thrill of the fall.

My body fell and twirled until it hit the icy waters bellow with a slap. I spun under the water, the force of the waves pushing me in every direction. The temperature of it burned my skin. Everything hurt.

With a gasp I returned to the surface.

I sucked in some air but in mid breath another wave forced me under again. I was getting weaker. My limbs felt numb. I blinked in and out of consciousness under the water.

"Damn you Bella. Fight." Edward screamed in my ears.

I coughed and heaved once I broke through to the surface again. I panted desperately. It was getting harder to breathe. My body screamed at me to find a rock and climb out. I struggled uselessly against the strong current that was slowly pulling me farther and farther away from safety.

By now I was totally numb. I couldn't feel my legs and I wasn't sure if I was kicking anymore.

One more a wave swallowed me and I was sure this would be the one to kill me.

I gave up. Stopped trying. The water pressed heavily against my eyelids. My body swayed from side to side, around and around.

My lungs screamed for air, but I silenced them. Silly things like lungs weren't going to ruin my final moments. Slowly my mind became less aware until I was completely gone. Complete silence fell over me.

Soon pleasant dreams danced in front of my closed eyelids. I could see Edward sparkling in the meadow; our meadow. He called my name and my favourite grin stretched across his face. I began to run to him. I called out his name as I ran. Surprisingly I felt no pain.

So in heaven you feel no pain.

I felt free as I ran, my beautiful white sun dress flying out behind me. Nothing mattered except that I would get to see Edward again. I would get to be in his arms. Slowly my world was coming back to me. My reason to live had returned.

But I wasn't living.

Just as I was about to reach him I felt something warm wrap around my waist. I struggled against it but it continued to pull me away from him. Away from Edward and into the darkness of the tree's surrounding the lovely meadow. I reached out to Edward. He needed to help me. Why was he letting me leave him?

"Edward!" I screamed as we were just about to the fringe of the trees. I tried to grip onto a trunk but my hands just went right through it.

My beautiful angel made no move to save me from the warm things that were pulling me away. He simply remained smiling them same smile as ever while I was dragged away.

He began to disappear and I panicked. I didn't want to be alone with the warm things, I wanted Edward. Then blackness again. I heard nothing, saw nothing, felt nothing. I was comfortably numb.

Suddenly reality came back with a blow so hard it hurt. I gripped at my chest once more. Even in heaven Edward didn't care about me.

I was aware of Jacob shouting over the waves into my ear.

"What the hell is wrong with you? You can't leave me Bells."

Oh how I wished I could.